double struggle

Chu Wendao made an appointment to go to Xu Qingzhou's dormitory the next afternoon.Xu Qingzhou didn't have much property, but had a lot of books. He thought that Xu Qingzhou couldn't move much by himself, so he went up to help.

At first Xu Qingzhou was very surprised when he received a call from Chu Wendao. After the night of confessing from the bar, the relationship between the two suddenly dropped to the extreme.They have not been in touch for several days.

Chu Wendao's tone was the same as usual, which made Xu Qingzhou suspect that it was just a dream of his own.Chu Wendao has long practiced the skill of pretending to be nonchalant, and Xu Qingzhou has gotten used to it in the past few years.

As for Chu Wendao's proposal to let him rent that house, he agreed without much hesitation.Although his monthly salary is not high, it is a shortcut to get closer to Chu Wendao.

Chu Wendao considered not to charge Xu Qingzhou's rent, but under Xu Qingzhou's insistence, he had to set a price casually.For a semi-luxury residential area with convenient transportation, the price he set was obviously several levels lower.

Chu Wendao didn't care about money at all, so naturally he wouldn't make it clear.And Xu Qingzhou knew that he was sympathetic to himself, and silently hid this gratitude in his heart.

Some tacit understanding is gained overnight.

"I'll help you move the books there first, and you can move the rest slowly when you have time." Chu Wendao put the last box of books into the trunk of the car, and handed Xu Qingzhou a bottle of mineral water.

There is no elevator in the faculty dormitory, and the two of them carried the suitcases up and down, and they were sweating in the winter.It's just that the sweat hadn't been wiped away, and it was blown away by the wind, leaving a bone-chilling clamminess.

Xu Qingzhou held the plastic bottle, looked at Chu Wendao, and then looked down at her toes.After a while, I sneezed a little with a sore nose.

"Get in the car." Chu Wendao didn't go back to the front of the car.

After about a minute, Xu Qingzhou sat in the passenger seat.The inside of the car was much warmer than the outside, but it was also a bit stuffy, so Chu Wendao rolled down the window a crack to ventilate.

During this time, no one spoke.

Chu Wendao was not in a hurry to drive, and unscrewed the plastic cap of the mineral water calmly.It had been stored in the trunk of the car for a long time, and the mineral water was a little icy, and he swallowed it after holding it for a long time.

It's already winter vacation, and there are students on the school road one after another carrying big bags and small bags and preparing to go home.No matter how cold the winter is, they can't restrain their joy of returning home.

Everyone leaves their hometowns, for the future, for the future, or for many reasons, they always go to strange roads.From time to time, Chu Wendao feels that traditional Chinese festivals are very humane, and have passed down thousands of years of people's attachment to home to this day.Whether it's Spring Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, Qingming Festival, Double Ninth Festival, etc., they are always reminded that when people go far, their roots are still there.

In fact, Chu Wendao didn't realize such a mood until later in his work.

His grandparents were both university professors. When he was a child, his parents were busy, so he was entrusted to his grandparents to raise him. The school he attended was not far from home.Later, when he was taking the postgraduate entrance examination, he had the opportunity to go abroad, but he voluntarily gave up.Originally, he thought that he might spend his whole life in City G, but he didn't expect that he followed Zhang Zhiyuan to City M in the end.

Thinking about it this way, Chu Wendao has deviated from his original life track in the past few years.

After a few minutes, Chu Wendao closed the window and started the car.

"When do you plan to go home?" Thinking of the Spring Festival in the near future, he couldn't help asking.

Xu Qingzhou looked away from the window, and circled the plastic bottle with his index finger.Chu Wendao noticed this little move and continued driving quietly.

"Air ticket next Sunday." After a while, Xu Qingzhou replied.

Chu Wendao didn't know Xu Qingzhou's family background, but after getting along for a few years, he also knew that Xu Qingzhou and his family were not close.He thought about it, and next Sunday is only two days away from New Year's Eve. Almost every year, Xu Qingzhou chooses such an urgent time to go home.

Chu Wendao nodded and didn't reply.

The sudden silence seemed strange, but no one wanted to break the embarrassment.

While waiting for the traffic light, Chu Wendao raised his hand and swung the interior rearview mirror above his head. The mirror tilted, just hitting Xu Qingzhou's gaze.He was inexplicably guilty, although he didn't know what he was guilty of.

He turned on the stereo and casually called out a lyrical English song.The ethereal female voice echoed in the carriage, covering the sound of the wheels rolling.In this way, there seems to be a person separated between them, and there is a hard distance between them.

This is Xu Qingzhou's first visit to Chu Wendao's house.He stood stiffly at the door, raised his right foot and retracted it, and raised his left foot again, feeling that this was not appropriate.

Seeing him like this, Chu Wendao thought it was funny, moved the box to the living room, and waved to Xu Qingzhou.

"Don't stand still, move things in quickly," he called.

"Oh, okay..." Xu Qingzhou hesitated, picked up the smaller box of books, and was about to take off his shoes at the door.

Chu Wendao said indifferently: "You don't need to take it off, just come in like this."

Xu Qingzhou nodded again.

After they moved several boxes of books into the living room, they breathed a sigh of relief.Chu Wendao also has a lot of books in his collection, but he didn't expect Xu Qingzhou to have more books than himself.

Before Chu Wendao moved, he took a rough look at the different books, and then he found that many books were the same, only the difference was in the year of edition and the publishing house.

"You can actually donate some books, so you can save trouble." Chu Wendao took Xu Qingzhou to the study room. He had vacated some bookcases, but it was not enough for Xu Qingzhou's few boxes of books.

He pointed to the cabinet next to the wall that still had books on it and said, "Some books are inconvenient for me to take back, so I put them away first. If you think it takes up space, it doesn't matter if you throw them away or donate them."

Xu Qingzhou replied in a low voice: "I don't want to."

Chu Wendao didn't know whether his words were aimed at the former question or the latter, so he simply avoided the subject.

"I'll pack up the books slowly tonight, and I'll take you to the bedroom." He turned around and walked a few steps before he heard hurried footsteps behind him.For no reason, he wondered if he was doing too much.

This house has three rooms, one of which is the master bedroom, the other is used by Chu Wendao as a study, and the rest is the guest room.Since Chu Wendao didn't pay much attention to this room, except for a bed and a wardrobe, there was nothing else.

Chu Wendao leaned against the door frame, secretly annoyed at his carelessness.

After a few minutes of embarrassment, he cleared his throat and said, "I have a new bed, and I'll put it up for you later... Forget it, why don't you just sleep in the master bedroom, since it's empty anyway."

Xu Qingzhou stared fixedly at Chu Wendao with his penetrating eyes, and he couldn't help being stunned for a while.

"Actually, it doesn't matter. I'll just sleep here." Xu Qingzhou looked away.

Chu Wendao caught a glimpse of Xu Qingzhou crossing his fingers unnaturally, putting his left hand on his right, and then reversed the direction after a while.He sighed, raised his hand and rubbed Xu Qingzhou's head.

There was a long-lost soft touch under his palm, and unconsciously, he pushed the student he once pityed far away.This is probably where his guilty conscience lies.

"It's okay. The master bedroom is bigger and more comfortable." He smiled. "Anyway, I'm leaving tomorrow. It doesn't matter where you sleep."

As soon as he said it, both of them were stunned.

Chu Wendao's expression was immediately tangled, and he withdrew his arm.He unconsciously told Xu Qingzhou his departure itinerary, which was absolutely impossible.Xu Qingzhou is very clear about her own thoughts, it's like adding salt to a scar.

Xu Qingzhou was calmer than Chu Wendao thought, the corners of his mouth twitched, and he turned his face sideways.

Chu Wendao pinched his palm hard, and prepared to go out with a haha: "Then it's settled, the time is almost up, let's go out for dinner, and then I will take you back..."

The arm was suddenly pulled hard, which made him stop.

The fingertips grasping the wrist trembled slightly, no matter how much Chu Wendao said, he swallowed it back.

Why did he forget how sensitive Xu Qingzhou is.

Before Chu Wendao was ready to appease, his neck was hooked down by an arm, and there was a strange softness with a familiar candy taste on his lips.

Chu Wendao was at a loss like never before, and opened his mouth slightly to stop it.As soon as the sound came out of the teeth, the lower lip was bitten hard, and the taste of iron lingered on the tip of each other's tongues.

Xu Qingzhou didn't seem to be familiar with how to kiss. His tongue got into Chu Wendao's mouth recklessly, trying to draw the breath in his mouth indiscriminately.

To be honest, this experience is really not good.

Chu Wendao frowned, and was about to push away the person who was pressing on him, but just bumped into those eyes filled with water vapor.

The corners of the eyes are familiar red, with tears that do not want to fall.Just for a moment, his resisting attitude slowly softened.

As if it was destined, from the first time he met this child, Chu Wendao felt that he would never be able to be cruel.

He held Xu Qingzhou's wrist instead, took a step forward, and turned to press him against the door frame.He squeezed Xu Qingzhou's chin with one hand, barely saving his mouth.

Xu Qingzhou's kiss was too domineering, and his lips were still aching.It's probably broken, and I don't know how to explain it to my parents when I get home tomorrow.

Xu Qingzhou saw Chu Wendao's movement of pulling the distance away, and the well-buried emotions could no longer be held back. The teardrops under the eyelashes finally fell down and seeped into the back of Chu Wendao's hand.

He heard a small sigh, his eyelashes trembled cautiously, and there was a light kiss at the corner of his eyes.

"You have to give me a while..." Chu Wendao held Xu Qingzhou's face in his hands, and wiped away the tears with his thumb, "No one can start a new relationship just after losing their love, let alone that it is the first love."

Xu Qingzhou said in a hoarse voice, "but you're leaving."

"G City is so close, we can meet each other anytime."

Xu Qingzhou raised her eyes in confusion, unable to react.

"Okay, I know you understand." Chu Wendao let go of his hand, and pushed Xu Qingzhou's shoulder, "Go wash your face, and go out for dinner later."

Xu Qingzhou grabbed the corner of Chu Wendao's clothes and stood still.

Chu Wendao coaxed again: "Good boy, go quickly."

After tens of seconds of stalemate, Xu Qingzhou was finally willing to go to the bathroom, but his steps were very small, and he walked abruptly for 5 minutes at a distance that was not far away.

Chu Wendao leaned against the wall and looked at the direction Xu Qingzhou was going away, until he heard the sound of water from the faucet, he straightened up and walked to the balcony.

The winter night comes quickly, and at six o'clock the moon hook has been quietly hung.He took out a cigarette from the cigarette case, lit it and carried it with his fingertips.After the wind bent the curling smoke ring, he put it to his mouth and took a breath extremely tiredly.

"What's the matter..." Chu Wendao rubbed his face and said to himself.