add to the chaos

Qiu Cen kept his body temperature fluctuating for several days, most of which he spent in bed, not sober.

Recently, he finally regained some sanity, and he can walk around in a vain way, but he still can't speak.

My throat is better, but it still hurts when I talk and eat.

I also went to the hospital, and the doctor said that it was because of a rush and a big mood swing.

It's heart disease.

When Queen Song heard this, she was still puzzled and asked him: "What's wrong with you?"

Qiu Cen was startled, lowered his eyes to cover his eyes thoughtfully, and finally shook his head, indicating that he didn't know.

A few days later, Qiu Cen also began to pack his things leisurely, preparing to go back to school.

Queen Song leaned on the door frame and watched him busy, her eyebrows still frowned, her tone worried: "There are still two days left, why are you in such a hurry to clean up? I'm still sick..."

Qiu Cen looked back at her, and smiled with the corners of his mouth curled up, looking in a good mood.

This was the first time in so many days that he could call it a "laughing" expression.

But after Queen Song saw it, she became even more disturbed.

As she said, her son knew it himself, he was so strange.

Her son was originally a happy and carefree big boy, full of vigor and vitality, a lot of cleverness, but no bad intentions. Many people are willing to associate with him, so he has many friends.But now it is not quite the same as before.

Maybe it was the sudden severe cold that brought him pain, which made him silent, and his eyes were not as radiant as before.The whole person seemed to be shrouded in dark clouds, feeling unspeakably lonely and lonely.

How did that happen?

Queen Song couldn't figure it out.

Is it really a sick relationship?

So Queen Song stepped forward, staring thoughtfully at Qiu Cen's back squatting on the ground packing his things, and put his hands on his shoulders.

The tone was full of thoughts: "baby, what's the matter? Tell mom, okay?"

Qiu Cen's figure paused, as if someone had punctured his mind, and froze in place for a while.

Queen Song waited for him to adjust his mentality, hoping that he could tell him what was on his mind.

But Qiu Cen turned his head, shook his head at her, and smiled.

Queen Song looked at herself pitifully like a wronged son, "You have always said what you have to say and told me what's on your mind. Now you don't want to talk to me anymore?"

"..."

Qiu Cen turned his head and continued to fold his clothes.

Queen Song's voice choked with sobs: "...my son has ignored me."

And Qiu Cen, who had his back to her, listened silently to the sobs of his favorite woman behind him, and his heart almost felt like a knife.

During the busy days of her father throughout the year, this woman raised herself almost alone. She looks strong, but she has always been a little woman who relies on her son in her heart.She has always loved him, patiently observed his every move as he grew up, and groped to make him into what he is today.

After he was sick, he took care of him in a shabby way, and the waywardness that came with it was fully accepted by her, and she held it in her hands and loved it.

Because when his pain is manifested in his body, it is she who suffers.

Without saying a word, take care of him carefully.

But he didn't even want to tell her the source of the most pain in his heart.

I'm afraid she will feel uncomfortable.

Because they are the people who are the most precious to each other, so they dare not speak out their pain easily.

Just when Qiu Cen was thinking this way, Queen Song suddenly rushed over from behind and hugged him, her voice had returned to normal: "Okay, I'll clean it up for you, you go to rest."

- Ding dong.

Qiu Cen's calm and unwavering heart seemed to be melted into a drop of water suddenly, and ripples spread around, and his heart was no longer calm.

He suddenly smiled and grabbed the hand on his shoulder.

After trying a few times, I finally opened my mouth: "Mom, I feel uncomfortable..."

Almost at the same time, tears welled up from his eyes and slid down his pale cheeks.

He really needs to find someone to talk to.

I thought it would be Lin Jian.

did not expect……

"……how come……"

Song Lili covered her mouth in disbelief and trembled unbearably, which made Qiu Cen feel very uncomfortable.

He nodded, his voice was still hoarse: "I'm sorry Mom, I've always been..."

"impossible!"

Song Lili stood up suddenly, and didn't feel any pain when she bumped into the cabinet. Instead, she backed away slowly, as if she had never been in touch with something before, and her tone was still unfamiliar: "How could it be...homosexual.relationship?"

"I'm sorry... I knew it when I was in high school, and I haven't dared to tell you all."

Qiu Cen was extremely exhausted physically, but his mind was very clear and he knew what he was doing.

"Can……"

"Don't you understand? It's not that I don't want to fall in love, but I can't fall in love..."

Song Lili shook her head in a panic, but there was an answer in her mind.

No wonder my son didn't want to hear her talk about having a girlfriend, and he was always very sensitive when it came to asking him to go on a blind date. Even the female classmate who came to the house once never heard him mention it...

She always thought... She always thought that her son didn't care about things between men and women.

But it turns out...

Thanks to Song Lili, who has been a teacher for more than 20 years, she has seen many entanglements among young people, and has a consistent routine for dealing with problems.Although facing her own son, this matter was extremely difficult to solve, and she just spent more time than usual to calm down.

Her complexion was still a little red, but her tone of voice couldn't tell whether she was happy or angry: "Qiu Cen, if you think about it, Mom will go back and think about it."

After the words fell, before Qiu Cen could answer, Song Lili turned around and staggered away.

Qiu Cen heard the sound of closing the door and knew that he was the only one left in the room, so he closed his eyes fiercely and sat on the ground.

There is a sense of afterlife.

It's not the same as he thought.

He didn't intend to talk about it today, not even, didn't intend to.

not ready yet.

He originally wanted to wait for everything to stabilize, then slowly soften his parents' thoughts, and finally tell the truth.

But now, he has nothing to do with...

It stands to reason that it is meaningless to come out of the closet at this time.

But when he thought about it later, he thought it was okay.

Anyway, he won't fall in love with the girl again, and he will have to talk about it sooner or later.

Instead of being forced to go on a blind date and marry someone of the wrong gender in the end, it is better to tell them in advance so that they can rest assured and stop worrying about him being old but still single.

——I don't know whether to feel relieved, or to be more worried.

Qiu Cen hooked the corners of his mouth in a self-deprecating manner, and fell backwards, lying on the wooden floor.

When Lao Qiu came back at night, Qiu Cen heard Queen Song talking to him in the room, thinking she would tell him, but when he was ready to open the door for dinner, he saw Lao Qiu's expression as usual, unable to tell weird.

Qiu Cen looked strangely at Queen Song who was serving dinner in the kitchen.

But Queen Song couldn't see anything unusual, and even smiled softly at him: "Sleeping again in the afternoon? Come and eat."

"……Oh."

Qiu Cen responded dryly, took the initiative to go to the kitchen to get chopsticks and bowls, sat at the table and waited for dinner.

He was still confused.

The atmosphere at the dinner table was also as usual. Lao Qiu and Queen Song seemed to be in a good mood as they chatted.

Qiu Cen was puzzled.

——Is this considered out of the closet or not out of the closet?

He turned around and sent Lin Jian a message.

Qiu Cen: Brother Lin, I seem to be out of the closet?

After speaking, he stared at the page, waiting for Lin Jian to reply.

Five minutes later, Lin Jian called.

After connecting, there was a burst of "fuck, fuck, fuck", the ear-piercing voice made Qiu Cen frowned, and took the phone away.

"Can you be more civilized?"

"I..." There was a pause, "Fuck."

Qiu Cen thought he might as well hang up, let him calm down before calling.

But Lin Jian said something: "What's the situation?"

I do not know either.

Qiu Cen wanted to say.

"By the way..."

"How easy it is to get here..."

So Qiu Cen gave a general account of what happened in the afternoon, skipped the part about why he said it, and directly talked about Queen Song's reaction.

"And I think Lao Qiu should know about it too, but he didn't say anything."

"... Awesome, Brother Cen." Lin Jian didn't know what to say.

No matter who it is, if you tell your parents that you like the same sex, the reactions of your parents are different, and he has never experienced it. As the saying goes, empathy is bullshit.Therefore, he really didn't have much to say to Qiu Cen.At most, comfort him and be his solid backing.

"What about Li Tian? What does he mean?"

Hearing the word "Li Tian" at first, Qiu Cen was in a rare trance, and for a moment he realized who "Li Tian" was.

It's like a word from a very far away place.

But it made him feel inexplicably depressed.

How long?

How long have you not seen this person?

...what does this person look like?

"Ask you? Hello? Brother Cen?" Lin Jian noticed something unusual.

"Hmm... what?"

Qiu Cen woke up from the trance, feeling as if he was stepping on a light cloud.

Throat hurt again.

"Li Tian!" Lin Jian clicked his tongue, and suddenly understood something, "Isn't it... You didn't tell him when you came out of the closet?"

"Why..." Tell him?It seems like we... broke up?

I don't know anything, I don't understand anything, it's like a dream.

Qiu Cen stopped suddenly, said hastily "I'll talk about it another day", and hung up the phone.

No matter how Lin Jian called, he didn't answer.

Simply turn off the machine and ignore it.

During the brief conversation with Lin Jian, his thoughts were like grass sprouting from the soil after a spring rain, and he suddenly woke up.

Aside from the one thing he didn't even want to think about, what else did he ignore.

My heart, which had been silent for many days because of escape and illness, slowly began to beat.

He forgot one very important thing.

Disappointed and painful because of being rejected and left behind, what he has been paying attention to has been forgotten by him!

With little hesitation, he rushed out.

As if he was only a few breaths away, he stood at the door of Li Tian's house.

By the time he reacted, his hand had already stretched out as if knocking on the door.

What woke him up suddenly was the alarm bell ringing in his heart.

--no.

Slowly put down the hand.

He can't see him yet.

Qiu Cen's expression froze, and his consciousness returned.

After standing there for an unknown amount of time, he staggered downstairs.

He didn't know how he got home.

Perhaps in the eyes of others, it looks like a lost soul and a walking dead.

But his thinking is exceptionally clear.

What happened before and after, the change in the attitude of the two of them...

I didn't close my eyes all night.

He pondered all night.

The next day, he found Hu Dawei with the answer that he had pondered all night.

Qiu Cen: Li Tian is sick, go to his house quickly!

It was a long time before he received a reply.

The long and anxious waiting made Qiu Cen's heart ache.

After seeing Hu Dawei's news, he felt that his whole body was exhausted, and he fell on the bed as if his bones were falling apart.

The phone screen was still on, and there was a message from Hu Dawei on it.

Little White Rabbit who doesn’t eat carrots: We’ve arrived, and we’ll take him to the hospital right away.

Qiu Cen: Good.Thanks.