Mu Zhiqiu

Chapter 35

Ziqiu began to desperately look for his love.With simple luggage, she boarded the train to Tibet.Go to the place of your dreams and find the person you want to meet the most.

After more than [-] hours of journey, she finally came to Lhasa, the place closest to the sky.

While in the car, Ziqiu stared out the window in a daze, no matter how beautiful the scenery was, it could not interfere with her visual nerves.The only thing that ignited her brain was her imagining the scene of meeting him over and over again.

Does he still know her?Will he give her a big hug?Was he happy to see her appear?All the thoughts in her mind converged on her face, showing a look of insanity.

She forgot to be hungry and thirsty, and she fed her long-awaited self with the spiritual food of missing him.

She didn't have time to appreciate the scenery here, so she looked for people to ask how to get to Yanmu's house by car. In the bumpy ride, the dizzy altitude sickness made her very uncomfortable.

Finally arrived at the place where Iwaki's house is.Carrying her luggage, she fumbled to get out of the car in a daze.Looking at the car going away, she raised her foot and took two steps with difficulty.Suddenly, her stomach rolled, and she squatted on the ground and vomited for a while. When she couldn't vomit anything, she kept vomiting.She felt that her heart, liver and lungs were about to be spit out, and her internal organs were all emptied.

After vomiting, she slumped on the ground.cold!The cold wind is biting!She held the bundle in her arms to keep warm.At this moment, even though she was already wrapped into a rice dumpling, the biting cold still pervasively devoured her remaining body temperature.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting, her legs and feet were numb.I can't sit like this anymore, maybe I will freeze to death on the street.Thinking of this, her eyes were flushed, and tears rolled in her eyes. She couldn't help crying.

She looked at the empty street, a blinding, cold gray.It's such a lonely place.

At this time, the sky was approaching dusk.She dragged her exhausted body to find the address written on the note, which she knew by heart.She was afraid that she would suddenly forget the address if she was stupid, and she was afraid that her stupid head would not be able to remember, as if there would be a sudden short circuit.So, she wrote many notes and put them in trouser pockets, coat pockets, backpacks, and even underwear.

The moment she stepped off the train, she looked at the unfamiliar environment.In this desolate and empty place, she was really hesitant, afraid and nervous.She suddenly lost the courage she had before she came here.

However, since it is here.That's it, it's an explanation to herself, whether it's a new start or a farewell to the past, there must be a clear result in her heart.She believes that in this way she will find a new self.

The distance from the station to this community is not too far.The surrounding environment is not very good, old low-rise buildings are scattered on both sides of the street.The street lights were dim and there were not many pedestrians.If it is in my hometown, it is very lively at this time.

She walked slowly, trying to slow down.As she walked and thought, she couldn't imagine what the meeting would be like.What should I say?The most frightening thing was that if he didn't recognize her, he would have already forgotten about that yellow-haired girl.What should she say?what to do?

The distance is slowly shortening, getting closer and closer to that place.She could hear her flustered heartbeat.The kind of uneasiness that was trying to cover up made her feel scared.

When she stood downstairs, she looked at the old building in front of her.She suddenly felt a trace of indescribable timidity or hesitation, and just stood there blankly.I dare not take a step forward.

Ziqiu, come on.She said to herself in her heart.Up, not up, up, not up.She was apprehensive, with damp cold sweat breaking out from her palms.If she had tens of thousands of monkey hairs in her hands now, she might almost pluck them all.

"Girl, who are you looking for?" An older mother-in-law said to Ziqiu who was staring blankly at the stairway while carrying vegetables.

"Um...it's nothing, I think...want to ask...is there a house for rent in this community?".She didn't know why she suddenly had this idea, and she was shocked when she said it.

"The building in front seems to exist, but I don't know if it's rented out? Why don't you go and see it tomorrow. It's too late now." The enthusiastic mother-in-law looked at the pretty girl and said with a smile.

"Thank you, thank you mother-in-law." She nodded and said thank you.Looking at her back struggling to carry the vegetable basket upstairs, she felt very sorry.

"Grandma, let me carry it for you." Ziqiu hurried forward and took the basket with his hands.

"It's okay, I'll just take a walk and have a rest." The old woman said tremblingly while standing.

"Let me help you, how long do you live?" Ziqiu took the vegetable basket from her hand.

"601"

She carried the vegetable basket and helped the old woman up to the sixth floor.

"Girl, thank you! Come in and sit down." The old woman said politely with gratitude.

"No, mother-in-law, thank you! I have to go." She waved to the old woman, then turned and went downstairs.

"What a nice girl." She heard what the old woman said before the door was closed upstairs.

When she reached the 5th floor, her footsteps stopped in front of the door of 502.She was struggling in her heart, knock?or not to knock?

I haven't seen each other for more than ten years. Isn't it too sudden to meet like this, too much for him to be unprepared?Or maybe she wasn't ready yet.

He is single now?still?

All the uncertain factors suddenly came to the so-called far-fetched reasons in such a short period of time.

While her thoughts were still wandering, the door in front of her suddenly opened.

A tall and thin man with dark skin and vicissitudes of life, wearing a black sweater, dark blue jeans, holding a trash can in his hand, was looking at the girl standing in front of his door in a daze in surprise.

"Who... are you looking for?" He looked at her, squinting his eyes and asking suspiciously.

"I... I'm sorry... I seem to have found the wrong one." She suddenly felt very strange to the man in front of her, which was quite different from what she remembered.

She was a little scared, a little nervous, and stood bewildered.But that black sweater looks familiar.That style allowed her to be sure that he was Xu Yanmu.

The moment she looked up, she still saw the familiar shadow of Xu Yanmu from the handsome face that had turned black, thinner and vicissitudes of life.After she and his eyes met, she was so nervous that she trembled all over, and hurriedly turned and ran downstairs.

The sound of footsteps going downstairs could not cover up her thumping heartbeat.She felt like her heart was about to jump out, and she was short of breath.His face was on fire, and his whole body seemed to be on fire.

She ran out of the community in one breath, stood on the side of the street, closed her eyes, and covered her face with her hands.What's wrong?What happened?It was so strange that I didn't even have the courage to say hello.She squatted slowly by the side of the road, shook her head, and rubbed her cheeks to calm herself down.

"Am I that scary?" Xu Yanmu finished throwing away the trash, walked to the mirror, and looked at himself.Thinking of the girl who was scared away by him just now.He hasn't looked in the mirror for a long time, looking at the face in the mirror, even he himself feels strange.

He didn't seem to remember at all, who was the face of this strange girl who appeared in front of him just now?He didn't want to think about whether she was someone he used to know.He didn't even expect that there would be a girl named Ziqiu who was always looking for him.

The cruel years have dragged the once intimate relationship into two parallel lines that do not intersect each other.

Xu Yanmu didn't realize, it probably never occurred to him, that the girl named Ziqiu had always liked him silently.What he probably didn't expect was that the girl named Ziqiu would come to him many years after he left her.

So no matter where he walked, if any girl who looked like her appeared in front of him, he would not think it would be Ziqiu.

That little sister-like girl was only living in his short youth.That short period of time needs time to quietly recall, and only when you look for it will you remember it.And now, if he can calm down and recall, even a little bit of time will seem so precious and pale.

The person hidden deep in his heart will always be his favorite fiancée Xiao Ruoran.The girl he met when he was ignorant, shy and restless in high school.

Two excellent children, at the best age, study together, talk about dreams and future together.He held her in his palm, cherishing her carefully.

Her frowns, smiles, and whispers were all locked into his memory.Those days of loving each other seemed so short and cruel after Xiao Ruoran passed away.

He hid his grief in the memory left by her.

He will spend the rest of his life guarding her soul.

In the days after Ruoran's death, Xu Yanmu became even more indifferent and reticent.In addition to work, it is home, two points and one line.He basically has no contact with the outside world.Run alone, cook and eat at home alone.Later, I raised a big white dog.

Ziqiu's name seemed so insignificant in his youth.Perhaps after so many years of life, he has already forgotten that there were good times other than Ruoran.He locked his heart in a room where the key was lost.

That night, he had a dream.

I dreamed that I was riding a bicycle with a girl on the road recklessly.The sun is warm on the face, and the wind is whistling in the ear.Her laughter bloomed in the air like a flower, and her hands hugged his waist tightly.He closed his eyes and enjoyed the euphoria. . . . .There is no end to the road ahead, just keep going forward like this, how good it is!

In the early morning of the next day, Xu Yanmu was lying on the bed, hugging the pillow, and arched his body.The 27-year-old man looks like a baby lying in his mother's womb, his slightly raised mouth turns into a bright smile.

It's been a long time since I slept so sweetly.Xu Yanmu slowly opened his eyes. In fact, he really didn't want to open his eyes. He wanted to just fall asleep like this, lying in the warm bed, sleeping quietly, dreaming, wanting to dream, for the rest of his life.

But the sunlight outside the window was dazzling on my face.He rubbed his eyes and squinted to look out the window.Xu Yanmu, who hadn't slept in for a long time, got up before dawn to run, and today, many years later, he slept until noon.

He wasn't used to setting an alarm clock and thought he didn't need one at all.But today I overslept.He hurriedly got up, washed up and went to work.

On the way, he rode a bicycle and searched among the crowd with all his thoughts.

He didn't know what he was looking for either.

Suddenly, the appearance of Xia Ziqiu appeared in his mind, and it passed by in a flash.He himself was surprised to stop the car, and stood in the crowd trying to recall the dream of last night.Yes, he really dreamed about her last night.What will the little girl who hasn't seen for so many years look like now.

And he is no longer the sunny boy he used to be.

The author has something to say:

"a familiar stranger"

to the end of this town

There is an old railway track stretching far away

Impressions that remind me of that city

familiar yet unfamiliar

like these two parallel railroad tracks

Walk through the years together for so long

In the end it wasn't without any intersection

disappear at the end of the road