Don't be afraid, I will wait for you

Memoirs by Gu Yan (Must Read)

Hello, my name is Gu Yan.I like a boy, yes I'm gay.It may seem absurd to you, but I don't think there is anything wrong with me.I just fell in love with a person, although he is also a man.But so what?If you like it, you can't help it. By the way, his name is Bai Luoxuan.

When I met him, he was being bullied.I originally wanted to leave, but when I heard his voice, I didn't know why I wanted to save him.When I left, he didn't come to see me off, which was actually quite sad.But I met him again on the first day of college.He is thin and fair, and he looks good when he smiles.Maybe I fell in love with him at that time?I still remember the time with the candy, I wanted to break it up and share it with him, but I broke it up and it made me so embarrassed.Who knew that he actually picked up the biggest broken one for me to eat, and asked me if it was good, so I also took one and fed it to him.I didn't expect that a broken candy would make me eat it so happily.I think this should be the sweetest candy I have ever eaten, right?

Today, he agreed to be my wife.I am very happy, there is nothing more worthy of my happiness than this.Although Lin Ping splashed water all over, if there was no basin of water, he wouldn't have agreed, right?In fact, I am quite grateful to him.

When he left, I searched for him for two full years.In the past two years, I have inquired everywhere about his whereabouts, but there is no news at all.I dare not think of a bad place. They say he died, but I don't believe it.I haven't told him how much I love him, how can he die.I used to be asked to say that I love him, but I didn't.But this time, even if I say I love him hundreds of millions of times, it is already too late.I used to love spicy food, but now I eat light dishes, just because he likes it.Eat what he likes, do what he likes to do, say what he likes to say.But because of this, I found that I missed him even more, thinking about him all the time.Think about his appearance, his taste, his smile, his cooking, and everything about him.I missed him and looked for him like crazy.I never knew that I would love so thoroughly, this should be the depth of love for a person!He opened a candy house but never had a name, so I called him "Aixuan House"

When he died, I felt like my world was dark and I couldn't live without him.It can be said that I would rather die without him.There is a box under the bed, and there are many envelopes in the box.Although it is immoral to look through things without permission, I can't help that, I want to know everything about him.

I picked up one of them, and the letter said: "Today is the first day I miss you, are you okay? I wanted to make your favorite fish head with chopped pepper and spicy crab, but the plane crashed unexpectedly You know? At that time I was very scared, but I was not afraid of death. I was just afraid that I would not be able to grow old with you, and I would never have the chance to see your smile again."

The second letter, "Today is the 31st day I miss you, Gu Yan, do you know? I dreamed about you, dreamed about when we were in college, I missed you so much. I really want to see you. Now I learn how to eat Spicy, isn’t it amazing? Because I hope that when we meet, I can eat spicy food with you.”

The third letter, today is the 129th day I miss you.I ate too much spicy food today, and my stomach hurts again.I know that if you know about it, you will definitely talk about me.But if I can see you in this way, I'm not afraid of eating too much spicy food.Don't worry I'm fine, it doesn't hurt at all.You take good care of yourself, or I will worry.

The fourth letter, today is the 147th day I miss you.I went to the hospital today and the doctor said I had stomach cancer.But you can rest assured that he is lying, how could I die?I haven't seen you yet.If I really die, don't be sad for me, promise me, okay?I feel sorry for you.You shouldn't blame me for my death?It seems that I can't be with you for a long time, Gu Yan, I miss you so much, I really miss you.

The fifth letter...No.70 letter, the hundredth letter...the 520th letter...the thousandth and 310th letter.I look at the box full of envelopes and I admit I cried.

If there is an afterlife, I would like to take good care of you.Bai Luoxuan, I love you!

The author has something to say:

It's finally over, sadly.and the last one