i have a crush on you

Chapter 12: The Road to Growth (4)

Life is always moving forward, even if you choose not to work hard, it will push you; the days are always too late, and if you don’t have time to remember, you have to wave your hands and say goodbye; you and I are like clouds, when the wind blows, we don’t know where we are going, the world is north and south , I still can't leave you, I can only write about you, but I don't know where to start.

There is only one sentence I love you, buried quietly in my heart.

It was yellow sand mixed with wind, bitter and ferocious.

It was catkins mixed with water, wet and sticky.

The Wenchuan Earthquake in [-], the Beijing Olympics in [-], the death in [-], the life in [-], me in [-], you in [-], in that year of [-], there are too many floating Peace of mind.

In May, my college classmate Xiao Ji died in the Wenchuan earthquake; in July, my mother died of breast cancer.

That night in May, I called Xiao Ji all night, but there was always only an infinite busy tone. The moment the sun rose, I had a strong feeling telling me that someone beside me had left me.

I sat on the ground and cried for a whole day, but He Shu never said a word to me.

That day, after a lapse of ten years, I once again felt the parting of life and death. Life and death are too impermanent, and there is nothing I can do about natural and man-made disasters.

That night in July, I held my mother's hand, and I choked up with sobs and begged her, I said, "Please don't leave me alone."

She shed a line of tears and said with her lips: "I'm sorry."

Then, just like in the TV series, he passed away.

I can't force natural disasters and man-made disasters, and I can't do anything about birth, old age, sickness and death.

That was the darkest period in my short life, death was too close, and I was terrified to smell the smell of death, who will come next?neither knows.

I remember that it was He Shu who led me to find the direction in the hopelessness.

"I am your family member and your friend, and you will still have me in the next ten years."

The black cloud cleared and he took me home.

The road of growing up is too difficult, every step seems to be suppressing the meager air around me, what is extravagant is not the courage to breathe but the dying courage of life.

Crossing mountains and ridges is both gain and abandonment...

In 2010, I resigned, and with the support of He Shu, I opened a small photography studio.In fact, it is not a studio at all, the whole office is just me and He Shu.

I am in charge of taking pictures, retouching, art and other shooting work, and He Shu is helping to bring his relatives and friends to my place to take pictures.

My first customer was He Shu's postgraduate classmate, Xiao Yang.

She has been married to her husband Xiaofeng for two years, but she has never taken a wedding photo. Under He Shu's daily brainwashing, they came to me.

I prepared five outfits and found her a makeup artist.Because she has a beautiful model, even if the clothes I found are not so good-looking (in the current perspective), she is very good-looking in the camera.

Unexpectedly, my level was well received by them.But it is also reasonable, after all, I have been studying every day during the few years I went to work.

Then I posted this group of photos on the blog, and I actually got a lot of fans.In this way, with the help of He Shu, my business started to get better and better, and my life entered a stable period.

After getting the money allocated to me by Xiao Yang and his wife, the first thing I did was to buy a touch-screen mobile phone.

He Shu still uses the Motorola he bought in 2003. I asked him to change his mobile phone several times, but he just didn’t listen, and said, “I’m used to using button phones, and I can’t play with touch screen ones.”

I wrapped up my phone and gave it to him on August 8th for his birthday.

Seeing my carefully wrapped presents, he smiled: "Always so thoughtful."

"Guess what."

He picked it up and shook it, "It's a bit heavy, are you picking the stars for me?"

This is a sentence I said unintentionally when the two of us went to watch the shooting star together. I said: "If possible, I would like to pick off the star and give it to you."

"Smart Star." I smirk.

"Mobile phone!?" He was a little distressed. I saw him open the box and take out the phone. "This is the latest model."

"Eh, how did you know?"

"After all, I am still a computer student. I know more or less, and the advertisements for this mobile phone are all over the street." He said.

"I changed the card for you again, but it turned out that the card couldn't be inserted." I said, "Are you moved?"

"Yeah." He nodded, but why can't I see any joy?

I saw that he saved my number without looking at the original mobile phone, and I was very moved. This guy still remembers my phone number.

Regardless of the advanced things he learned, this guy can't play anything except calling and texting.

I downloaded a QQ for him, registered an account, and added the first person—me.

Even though I was 26 years old at the time, I was still very happy because of this little honor.

But isn't that what it's like to like someone?

We get bigger and bigger, get along less and less, and the good memories we can remember are getting more and more blurred. Sometimes it is more likely to be a quarrel, an inexplicable quarrel over a trivial matter.

In 2012, I went abroad to study.

I participated in an international photography competition before and won No.1. A teacher liked my work very much. He said he would take me to France to study for two years. After two years, I will definitely become a top international photographer.

I actually declined at first.

He Shu, after all, is the most important person in my life, I really don't have the courage to go far away and leave him.

But just two days before the teacher left, He Shu told me that he was in love.

His girlfriend is nothing like Yi Qingxin, she is a very good girl.I don't think she is good enough for He Shu.

But whether I deserve it or not is something I can define in one sentence. If he loves her, then he is worthy.

I cried that night, crying silently, no memory rippling in my mind, not even the face of He Shu appeared in my vision, only a back, and when I dreamed that my dad left me Like that figure from the back, I can't keep it, I can't force it.

I drank a lot of wine, and at the end of the drink I vomited out together with blood.That night I told myself thoroughly, go, swallow your ugly crush in your stomach, go to France, then you are the best way to bid farewell to the youth related to him.

I hummed Jay Chou's "Peninsula Iron Box", so farewell.

"...

It's me next to the candy

sweet memories

but filter you and me

become beautiful

It's you in the box

give me happiness

I want to remember but I can't

... "

Say goodbye to the two boys who hummed the peninsula iron box in 2002.