never far away

The house was due at the end of July, Lin An packed up his things and moved to the dormitory, most of which he couldn't take with him, he called Li Sifei to come over and gave him all the things he wanted.Li Sifei looked at the two plush rabbits he stuffed in the cardboard box, and asked curiously, "Do you buy a pair of rabbits?"

Lin An acquiesced, he touched the rabbit that Lin Wei gave him, his heart still felt a little tingling.Li Sifei took most of the pots and pans, and he said, "Why don't you live with me? Living in the dormitory is quite troublesome."

"Thank you, but there's no need." He felt that he should no longer have too close a relationship with others, and that he would always bring only pain and no happiness to others.

At the beginning of August, he moved to the school dormitory. It was summer vacation at this time, and there were not many people staying in school. The other three beds in the dormitory were all empty. He worked during the day and evening, and only came back to sleep at night. After getting used to it, he must hug him. He fell asleep with the plush rabbit in his arms, but the smell left by Lin Wei on it faded within a few days, and finally he couldn't smell it anymore.

He put away the new phone that Lin Wei gave him, and still used the old one. The screen saver was a photo of him and Lin Wei. He looked at it for a long time, and then changed to a landscape photo.

Little by little traces of Lin Wei dissipated from him. He forcibly pressed the memories about him into the deepest part of his heart. When he couldn't sleep, he would read professional books or play some mobile games, forcing himself not to go to miss him.

He should have forgotten.

It must also be forgotten.

On the day Lin Wei went abroad, Zhao Department called Lin An, "Are you really not coming to see him off?"

"Not going." Lin An hung up the phone, thought about it, and edited a text message to send.There is nothing new to say, and in the end it is still just three words "sorry".

His life also seemed to be born for these three words. When he first knew his origin, he asked his mother why he gave birth to him, and his mother apologized to him, "Xiao An, if I didn't give birth to you, I wouldn't know What are you going to do to survive?"

My mother has no home. After she came out of the small village, she didn't even have contact with her relatives.She was alone. At that time, she was afraid and remorseful. She wished to die too, but she didn't dare to die. She could only find excuses for herself, and her reason was only the child in her stomach.

But Lin An always felt that she didn’t look like a human being when she lived. She was mentally weak and often had nightmares. When he was a child, he often woke up in the middle of the night and saw her smoking a lot. Bag.She also drank, low-quality high-strength liquor, drunk after drinking half a bottle, cried when drunk, and fell asleep after crying.

She can't work in one place for a long time. After working for a period of time, the boss will pay her wages and tell her to leave when he sees her crazy appearance.There is also no way to live in one place for a long time, because she sometimes goes crazy with alcohol, she smashes things desperately, tables, stools, plates and cups, all smashed to pieces.Landlords would evict people after a few bouts of drunkenness, so they'd have to move to another town or another county.

Lin An had seen her mother commit suicide, slashing her arm with a fruit knife, with a smile on her face.After drawing blood all over her arm, she would find a bandage to bandage it again, weeping sinisterly, then touched Lin An's face and said, "I shouldn't die like this, I should live in pain, otherwise how can I relieve their pain? Hatred in my heart?"

She was very kind to Lin An, and never gave him less food and less clothing. Even when she was sick, she would calm down and cook for Lin An when it was time to eat.She never beat him or scolded him, and often hugged him and apologized to him when she was sober.She got lung cancer when Lin An was in high school, and she was so thin that she coughed every day. She started coughing up phlegm and then coughed up blood.She actively treated her. After chemotherapy, all her hair fell out, her skin became dark and dull, and she looked older than a little old lady in her 60s.

Lin An couldn't persuade her, she always felt that she was going to suffer and suffer the last moment while she was alive.When she was dying, she held Lin An's hand, "Can you promise mom? See them...Apologize to them...It's mom's mistake...Mom shouldn't have done that..."

Lin An nodded.

Lin Hui smiled, "Mom wants to apologize to you too... I'm sorry... I was too selfish to bring you into this world..."

"I won't blame you." Lin An guarded her until she completely closed her eyes, feeling relieved for her.He has watched this woman struggle in pain for more than ten years, and he hopes to share some for her and make her walk more comfortably.

So he felt sorry for her, she lacked too much love in her childhood, thought she would get it when she grew up, and even resorted to all means for it, and then committed an unforgivable sin.

Lin Wei didn't reply, Lin An deleted his number from the phone, deleted the previous text messages, and deleted the photos.He has no reason to keep everything about Lin Wei. Lin Wei has nothing to do with him in the future, and it will no longer be his.

This fact made him extremely uncomfortable.

After the new semester started, the dormitory ushered in three new roommates, all of whom were from different departments in other provinces. A top student named Liu Gehui was taciturn and hardly talked to others.Each one is about 1.9 meters tall, with a strong body, and his name is Sun Yiwei.A medium-sized man named Wang Qing, whose family is relatively rich, often bought a lot of snacks back home, but Lin An and Xueba couldn't move, so he bought snacks later to honor Sun Yiwei.

Lin An seldom stays in the dormitory, and most of the time he either goes to the library in class or goes out to work part-time. There is not much money left on his card after paying the tuition fee. If he doesn't work part-time, even next month's living expenses will be a problem.Fortunately, he is used to this kind of busy life, and he doesn't find it too hard.

It's good to be busy, at least I won't miss Lin Wei too much.

I thought that the days would be passed in peace, but I didn't expect that in November, an anonymous person posted a photo on the school forum, which brought him earth-shaking changes.

Lin An didn't have time to browse the forums, and he returned to the dormitory very late that day, and several roommates were up. Sun Yiwei and Wang Qing were cracking melon seeds. When they saw him come in, they spit out the melon husks at his feet, " Yo, glass is back?"

Lin An was taken aback for a moment, not understanding what he was talking about.

Sun Yiwei smiled contemptuously: "Come back so late, can't you go to some grove to suck dick again?"

Wang Qing echoed from the side, "It's for sure. I came back so late every day, and I thought it was really hard work. It turns out that hard work is hard work. I just went there... Then what did I go to?"

Lin An has never been able to socialize with people, and he has never quarreled with others, and he only hears them talking nonsense and doesn't want to talk to them.Seeing him like this, Sun Yiwei became anxious, "You don't deny it? No wonder, the photo forum is full, and everyone probably has one."

After he took a shower, he turned on the computer and went to the school forum. The post was very high. After he clicked on it, the main building was a photo.

It was taken in a relatively dark environment. In the small woods, he was kneeling on the ground, giving oral/job to Lin Wei.Lin Wei only showed his back and the back of his head, but his face was clearly photographed, and he could still see his expression of enjoyment.

He remembered that this happened during the summer vacation. At that time, he already knew that Lin Wei was going abroad, and all he wanted to do was to keep him for a while, as if he couldn't exhaust his energy and desire/desire.He hoped to have more memories, and didn't want to be limited to that small house, so he deliberately seduced him to various places to have sex, and this small forest was just one of them.

After watching it, my heart was very calm, and I was vaguely glad that Lin Wei's face was not photographed, and his figure was not afraid of being recognized because the light was too dark.

As for what happens to him, he doesn't care at all.

As for who took this photo and who put it up, he didn't care.

Sun Yiwei and Wang Qing laughed at him for more than an hour in the dormitory that night, talking about him in various unpleasant ways.Lin An wore earplugs to sleep, but didn't respond.

This incident caused quite a stir. The school deleted the post the next morning and ordered it not to be discussed anymore, but it could not stop the spread of this incident.Wherever he went, he could feel the strange eyes of others, even though his heart was numb, he would feel more or less embarrassed.

The counselor came to talk to him and asked some awkward questions, but Lin An only had a few answers.It's not prostitution/prostitution, it's being with a lover, and it happened during summer vacation, not at school.

This answer makes people speechless. Even the school cannot prevent people from falling in love normally, and even if they have different sexual orientations, they cannot openly discriminate against them.But Sun Yiwei and Wang Qing didn't let him go, they often went to the counselor to make a fuss, saying that homosexuals can get AIDS, and they don't want to be infected, and their roommates are gays, and it's not safe or comfortable for them to live in, anyway, they want Lin An to move out anyway. dormitory.

The counselor mentioned it to Lin An embarrassingly. Lin An was really short of money, and he didn't even have the money for food next month, let alone the money for renting a house?He can only continue to live in the dormitory, and return as late as he can.

But since then, he often lacks things. Except that the computer has a password and no one else touches it, the mouse is missing, the washbasin is missing, and the toothbrush is broken.One day when he came back, he saw that the ears of the plush rabbit were all torn off, the cotton wool inside was scattered all over the bed, and the quilt was wet and dripping.

Sun Yiwei smiled triumphantly at the side, he is tall, and he is not afraid of Lin An fighting with him.

The weather was too cold and the bed was too wet to sleep on. He packed up the cotton wool of the plush rabbit and stuffed it back, then walked out of the dormitory.Sun Yiwei yelled from behind, "It's useless to talk to the counselor about this matter, I have plenty of ways to cure you! Let me tell you, I feel disgusted when I see you!"

Lin An didn't respond.