You said as long as we are careful enough

, Chris just took off his shirt.

"Is that okay?" he asked hesitantly, and Sebastian didn't know why.He nodded slowly, and Chris frowned. "Can you talk?" Sebastian murmured softly in response. Chris sighed, sounding nervous.He strokes Sebastian's back. "Are you okay? Can you breathe? Feel clearer?" Sebastian groaned and nodded, and Chris let out a sigh of relief.

"You need to be more careful," Chris said after a moment. "They might hurt—" He stopped short, gritting his teeth slightly, and went on, "They hurt you. They might hurt you worse."

Sebastian took a deep breath. "I do not care."

"I care," Chris snapped, and Sebastian flinched. Chris breathed out, then stroked Sebastian's back with his hand. "It's okay," he insisted again, in a tone that didn't sound like 'it's okay' at all. "Try to sleep. I'll be here." Sebastian nodded, snuggling up to him.Within minutes he fell asleep.

When Sebastian wakes, Chris is still in the same position—chest resting on Sebastian's head, one arm wrapped around his back—but apparently he hasn't been there all the time.There was a bowl of soup cold on the bedside table, next to a glass of what looked like cranberry juice.

Sebastian doesn't drink cranberry juice.He's immediately surprised by the imagining of Chris going out and buying him juice.He secretly laughed.At the sound, Chris ran his hands through Sebastian's hair. Sebastian wonders how long he sat awake like this when Sebastian was lying on top of him to sleep.He looked up, smiling at Chris. "I...have a cold and rest at home?"

"Almost." Chris replied seriously, and Sebastian's smile faded away. Chris gripped his hand tightly. "I'm sorry," he said after a moment, and Sebastian tensed at the tremor in his voice. "I shouldn't have left you like that at all. I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't—I didn't…"

"Never mind," Sebastian replied. "I was stupid."

"It's not," Chris said, in a tone so firm that Sebastian couldn't argue. "It's me...I shouldn't have left you." Silence spread between them until Chris finally pushed him slightly. "Come on, eat something, sit up." Sebastian sat up and held out his hand, but Chris didn't hand him the bowl, but a spoonful of soup.

After a moment of hesitation, Sebastian leans forward and lets Chris bring the spoon to his mouth.He let Chris feed him half a bowl of soup and said, "I can eat by myself, you know."

"Given the severity of your breakdown, I'm afraid your motor skills are still quite messed up." Chris replied, bringing another mouthful of soup, silently watching Sebastian swallow it. "I don't want to see you knock over the bowl and spill hot soup all over yourself."

Sebastian frowned, and Chris offered another bite. "Believe me."

Sebastian believed it.He always believes.

After he takes a few more mouthfuls, Chris says, "What the hell are you—?" Sebastian winces at what he's thinking long before Chris shuts his mouth.

Sebastian couldn't answer.All he could think about was what a fool he was, so he said nothing. Chris tries again. "You scared the hell out of me, Seb. I know I screwed up. I know. But I told..." He took a breathless breath, then continued, "If you were going to ignore , why are you still asking me for permission?"

"I don't know," Sebastian said painfully into his knees.

"You could get seriously hurt. You can't just ask someone to do that, okay?" Sebastian nodded. "If you need—" Chris gasps again. "If you need other people, you need to find someone who... knows what they're doing. Okay?"

Sebastian nods again, his breath choking as Chris's thumb strokes the skin at the base of his throat. "Whoever you're looking for, he did hurt you," he said softly. Sebastian scrunched his face, realizing that the guy must have left a mark.He liked that the marks didn't cover up Chris's.

He raises his hand, and Chris seems to realize why right away. "Right here," he says, running a finger along the base of Sebastian's throat. "A shirt with a collar for a few days, okay?" Sebastian nodded, fingering the bruise Chris left on his neck.

"Just a turtleneck or makeup to cover it up," Chris says, and Sebastian can't tell if his tone is closer to frustration or pride. Sebastian smiles, but Chris holds his chin and looks him in the eye. "They just—leave you alone? Just leave the door open?"

Sebastian shakes his head. "No – he's just scared." Seeing the look on Chris' face, he tried to explain. "He didn't… just when I—I started getting upset, he thought I had a boyfriend and ran away." He saw Chris tense up. "I'm sorry," he said again, curling his knees. "I'm sorry I lost my temper. I'm sorry I lied. Didn't—"

"Stop." Chris put the bowl on the bedside table and picked up the glass of juice. "Come on." He tilted Sebastian's head slightly, and Sebastian took a few sips gratefully. "You don't have to feel sorry, Sebastian. I'll take care of you."

Sebastian swallows hard, his throat tightening. "Why?"

Chris pulled him off the pillow and got out of bed to help Sebastian up. "Because I promised I would. You—do you want to take a shower yourself?"

Not sure how to answer, Sebastian just stares at him with wide eyes.He wants Chris to shower him.Maybe he will never have another chance from now on.He didn't say a word, but Chris seemed to understand.

"Okay, come on." Chris helped Sebastian to his feet, keeping his hand on Sebastian's lower back, reflexively grabbing Sebastian when he wobbled as he made his way to the bathroom.

Chris washes his hair and they don't say a word, but when Chris starts to wash his skin, Sebastian grabs the towel from him and starts scrubbing the bruise on his throat. "Sebastian," Chris snapped softly, taking the towel back from him, "it's going to go away, that's okay."

"do not want!"

"Fade," Chris said understandingly, scrubbing it gently like he wished it would be that easy. "Not for long. Just a few days." Sebastian took a deep breath, his throat tightening, and Chris pulled his hand away nervously. "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"do not want!"

Chris was taken aback, but didn't walk away. Sebastian felt pathetic and begged Chris to sit next to him like he was four years old and just woken up from a nightmare. Chris didn't say anything more, but went back to giving him a shower.After a while, he ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair, and it felt almost normal again.

When he climbed out of the tub, Sebastian was a little surprised to realize that he was still a little unsteady on his feet. Chris takes his elbows to keep him on his feet. "I tried to tell you," he said, without bitterness. "It's a big breakdown." Sebastian can't meet his eyes, but Chris just pushes his hair away from his face.

"You're looking better already," he said, though there was still a little tremor in his smile.He helped Sebastian back into the clothes he'd lent him earlier, rubbing his arms up and down until they warmed up under his hands. Sebastian swallows, and Chris thinks he's going to cry again.However, he may be right.

"You just need to rest a little longer," he said softly. "Probably need some soup. Are you hungry?" Sebastian shook his head, and Chris frowned immediately, but nodded understandingly. "What exactly do you need, Sebastian?"

A thought popped into Sebastian's head, and one corner of his mouth curled up. "I really want to smoke a cigarette." He said provocatively, knowing that there would be no result. Chris' brows knit together, and for a second, Sebastian thought he was going to be angry, but then he grinned and giggled.

"Yeah," he said, running his hand across Sebastian's cheek. "Me too." He leaned in and planted a kiss on the top of Sebastian's head. "Are there any cigarettes at home?" Surprised and delighted, Sebastian opened the drawer of the nightstand, and Chris took the pack of cigarettes from him.

"Just one." Chris said, only smoking one cigarette. "You should quit. You've got years of 'Bucky Barnes' training ahead of you." Sebastian blushed, and Chris put his hands on his lower back and led him to the Sit in the wicker chair facing the street on the balcony.

The night wind was cold, against Sebastian's face, he watched Chris light the cigarette, took the first puff and handed it to Sebastian, sighing. "This is my first cigarette since 2009." He smirked.Taking the cigarette from Chris, Sebastian can feel himself flushing.

Inhaling the first puff, his whole body relaxed, and the puff was warm and dark in his throat.Exhaling slowly, he admitted: "This is the first cigarette I've had in six months." Chris took the cigarette from him and took another puff himself, and Sebastian suddenly remembered the closest thing he had to him when he was 14 years old. Good friends share a cigarette, and the other party steals it from his sister's camel cigarette.

"Trying to quit?" Chris asked, handing the cigarette back.

"I guess," Sebastian replied softly. "I don't…really need it lately." The confusion in his words was so obvious that he took another puff right away, without even looking at Chris, before handing the cigarette over.

He wasn't sure how he expected a reaction from Chris, but what he got wasn't his relaxed shrug and soft 'yeah'. Sebastian is too scared to respond to that, and Chris doesn't say anything else.Together they let the cigarette burn to the filter, and Chris extinguishes it in the glass bowl by the chair before leading Sebastian back inside.

"I feel better," Sebastian admits when they get to the bed, but Chris doesn't seem to understand it the way he wants.

"Fine," Chris replies, throwing himself on the bed and pulling Sebastian closer to him. "You still need to rest," he added explicitly, clinging to his back.

Sebastian doesn't know how long he's been asleep, but he just wants to be awake. "I'm not sleepy," he said sullenly, but Chris was warmly pressing against his body and kissing his neck, so he didn't move away.

"Okay." Chris told him softly, "Then lie down for a while."

It was almost dawn when Sebastian woke up again. Chris was hugging him so protectively that he could only squirm and rub the sleepiness out of his eyes.He waits until he feels Chris shift and wake up before asking, "Why are you so nice?"

Chris didn't answer right away. "What did you say?" he finally asked, sleepy still in his voice.

Sebastian shrugged.Or try to shrug. Chris is clutching his arms tightly. "I deserve to be punished. You gave me soup and cigarettes, and I didn't...you warned me—I didn't...I disobeyed you."

"If you really feel like you need to be punished, I'll punish you, when you're ready," Chris replied. "But after a meltdown like that, I want to make sure you're really ready. Do you think you're ready now?"

Sebastian hesitated, knowing that was probably enough of an answer. "I feel better," he repeated.It felt more honest than last night.He felt Chris smile against his nape, and press a kiss there.

"Very well. But the answer is irrelevant. Are you ready to be punished for what you did?"

Sebastian sighs. Chris was warm and holding him securely. "No."

"Okay," Chris replied, like he had all the time in the world.He sounded warm and lazy, like falling asleep again. "I'll take good care of you until you're ready, okay?"

Sebastian nervously felt like he was going to cry again. "Why?" he asked helplessly, his voice strained. Chris's arm crept over his body, and Sebastian sobbed as Chris' fingers took his hand.

"Because you're mine," Chris said, yawning.

"Your what?" Sebastian asked heartbroken, but Chris had already fallen asleep again.

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Translation testimonials:

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!Finally translated here!

Finally, the relationship between the characters has finally changed from losing the kidneys to starting to lose the heart! ~(≧▽≦)/~

la la la!Welcome everyone to leave a message, comment, feedback, and discuss the plot!I do not refuse anyone~~~

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