Holding hands can only be happy

When the yearning for Shunjun was about to flood like a flood, the company's induction training ushered in. The early spring in March did not warm up. A gust of wind slid through the air and the air was still cool, and they arrived at the training point designated by the company.After all the staff assembled, a teacher in charge of the training told us that the one-month training will be managed militarily, with morning runs, late roll call, and a strict leave-of-leave system will also be implemented in class.

At that time, I only felt that I was relatively familiar with Yaojia, so I made an appointment to live in a room. Unexpectedly, Lin Lin, a daughter of a capitalist, was arranged to share a room alone, but because she was also afraid, Yaojia and I agreed. We decided to live together, at least she is the leader's daughter, so I will have someone to take care of me in the future.

After a rough negotiation, I took the room card and walked to the room, swiped the card to open the door and looked up to see the standard room for the two of them. The facilities were still complete, and I put the backpack on the bedside table. Before I could react, Yaojia threw me On the clean and tidy bed, squinting at the door before it was closed, the eyes of the men passing by were about to pop out, subconsciously got up and quickly pushed her away, and roared furiously, "Are you sick again? "

"Do you have any medicine?"

"you!"

"Say it?"

"Please stay away from me!"

"I like it, can you control it?" I suddenly realized that I had made another wrong decision, as if as long as I bumped into Yaojia, even the air around me would become helpless. 'Days of chaos.

At night, it was difficult to fall asleep because of the chatter of two women. The most inexplicable and incomprehensible thing was that Yaojia and Lin Lin had such a pleasant chat, but still insisted on sharing the same bed with me. Lie down resignedly, and have to be responsible for waking her up in the morning.In class, I have to resist the harassment from Yaojia from time to time, and I have to wait for her to sway her head and pose, chew and eat slowly, and finally return to the room. The two women started chatting about movies, boyfriends, and various cosmetics. .The fatigue and bombing disturbed me so much that I recalled the life of the former army and missed my group of 'quiet' comrades in arms.

A few days later, I couldn't bear the erosion of longing after all, so I hurried back to the room without eating dinner, dialed the number I knew by heart with my mobile phone, let go of all my self-esteem, and said in a begging tone: "Shunjun, I really really miss you, is it possible for us to start over again?"

"I can't, I can't go back." The other end was silent for a while, and a familiar but cruel voice came

"But I can't help but miss you, I can't live without you"

"Let me tell you something. I haven't told anyone. Please keep it secret for me. I may not be able to have children."

"..." There was chaos in my mind

"After we separated from you, I just wanted to try to talk to him first, whoever knew that he..."

"Does it hurt?" Distressed, nothing but distressed

"pain"

“……………” Lost language function

"Later I found out that I was pregnant, so I went to a small hospital to have it removed. Maybe it wasn't cleaned up. Now it hurts from time to time, maybe it's God's punishment!"

In the silence, Shunjun hung up the phone, feeling the bloody hysterical pain in her heart after being hit by the heavy hammer. I was always complaining and complaining. She was not able to accompany me when I was most difficult, but she never thought , At the time when I thought it was the hardest and the hardest, what she experienced was enough to make me regret for the rest of my life. Why did she get so mad at that time that she asked her to find a man? How could I say such stupid words, soaked in pain Lost my eyes, ran to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, devastated, what should I do?I hurt my most precious treasure with my own hands, and now I can only watch it rot and deteriorate, unable to change it.At this time, there was a knock on the door, knowing that it was Yaojia and the others who came back, they washed their swollen eyes with water, and walked towards the door with their heads down.

In the middle of the night, afraid of being noticed, I lay on the bed, covered my head with a pillow, and next to my ears were Yao Jia and his boyfriend chatting back and forth on WeChat voice, "I love you, wife, good night" with a thick and deep voice Northeast's voice came, and my brain was crackling like a short circuit. I threw away the pillow, opened the door and ran out on my own.

"Yutong, stop!" Listening to Yaojia's shout behind him, he rushed forward without any stop, and ran wildly, his lungs were strongly squeezed by the sudden movement, and he was breathing heavily with oxygen, as if only So that I can ease the pain in my heart

"I tell you to stop, do you hear?" Suddenly, the hand was tightly grabbed, stopping the pace of moving forward

"You let go"

"I won't let go" the strength in my hand became heavier and heavier, and I looked directly into her eyes, the disheveled long hair was scattered on her shoulders, and the affectionate eyes at this moment can only remind me of Shun Jun

"Let go" strong break free, wanton roar

"I said I won't let it go, come back with me." He grabbed me and yelled loudly, "Are you crazy? Can you calm down! My sister chased you all the way wearing high heels"

"How did you tell me to calm down, why? Why did you treat me like this?" I couldn't hold back my broken emotions, and I saw Shun Jun's shadow again in my tearful eyes, crying out the sadness in my heart.

"Okay, okay" In the next second, she coaxed me into her arms, and I, leaning on the same thin shoulders, felt a little sad but also a little comforted.

Slowly calmed down, staring at the long reflection in the moonlight, let Yaojia pull me back, my empty mind could no longer think.

It was night, and she and I were still lying on the single bed. Tonight, she was very silent, and I didn't understand it. I looked at the dark ceiling with my swollen eyes, and suddenly she came over me, charmingly. Breathing in my ear, "I think..."

"Okay" replied without any hesitation, my mind was full of Shunjun's cries, I desperately wanted to know how painful and helpless she was at that time, whether it was the same for me, and Shunjun and I still had a chance ?

Not to think too much, Yaojia's kiss fell gently, her restless hands quickly wrapped around my waist, and gradually the thin and dense kisses became domineering. When I was ready for everything, she I stopped moving, gritted my teeth and thought about Shunjun's helplessness at that time, my stiff body straightened up resolutely, the bursting pain instantly overwhelmed all my emotions, even my sadness seemed to be forgotten, the slightest twitch made me wake up and want to Pushing away the person on the body, I don't want my legs to be suppressed and my body to be firmly imprisoned. Everything indicates that I will never go back...

The alarm of the mobile phone woke me up, and I tried to open my dry eyes, and the next moment I was completely awakened, lying in Yaojia's arms, with one hand around my neck tightly surrounding me, and the other One hand was still on the position that made me angry, and I realized my absurd behavior. I quietly put on my clothes and walked into the bathroom with the unspeakable pain.Looking at the person in the mirror covered with red marks, I completely understand in a trance that some things can never go back, I am so sad that I don’t even have tears, let the water wash my body, my world is empty up.

In the afternoon, Yaojia stopped me, "Are you hiding from me?"

"no"

"Does it still hurt?" The pity contained in the three words gave me a fatal blow in my heart

"fine"

"I will be responsible"

"No, you and him are fine, I don't care." He refused without even thinking about it, told him that he could not break up others selfishly, turned around without hesitation, and no longer looked at the pale and injured eyes on his originally bright face.

The one-month training was noisy in the early stage of Yaojia, and in the later stage, he and I drove quickly in embarrassment. On the way back after packing up my belongings, Yaojia took me all the way, dragged, coaxed and lied to her home.When I entered the door, before I could see the interior decoration, I was pulled into her room and fell into a warm embrace. I subconsciously wanted to break away, but instead of letting go, the other party hugged me even tighter. There was the same faint fragrance on her body, and a little sinking made him gasp.

"Tong, I like you." Feeling the warm breath clearly, he was pushed down on the bed the next moment, and met the coquettish pupils, which were gloomy but glowing with soft light. In the instant dazzle, there was a burst of fiery plundering. Take all my emotions away...

Since the last 'meeting', I deliberately avoided everything about Yaojia, and I was extremely annoyed. If the first time was caused by emotional breakdown and confusion of thinking, what about the second time?I was extremely sober, but I didn't refuse, I didn't resist, even... Facing such a strange self, I felt panic and helplessness, mixed with the longing for Shun Jun, and spent the day in panic.

The insignificance of human beings is that we never know what will happen in the next second, what situation will be waiting for you, it seems that "man will conquer nature" is just a joke.Under the arrangement that may be God's will, I met Yaojia again.

After the sudden thunder and sting of insects, I held a party with my colleagues in the batch company. I couldn't stand the repeated invitations, and I arrived at the agreed KTV on time.After confirming the room number at the door, he pushed the door open and walked in. After a glance, he saw Yaojia sitting in the middle. Looking around, there was only one vacant seat beside her. He walked over and sat down by accident, only to see her leaning on the table carelessly. On the sofa, a cigarette was casually held between the index finger and the middle finger, the long black hair fell messily around the neck, the faint eyes looked at me evilly, and after a long time, he spat out heavily into my face. plume of smoke.

"What are you doing?" Rubbing her nose, waving the smoke vigorously in front of her eyes, she shouted angrily, "If you want to smoke, please stay away from me, I don't like it, thank you!" She just threw the cigarette butt on the coffee table in front of her On, with a disdainful smile, the corners of his eyebrows were raised playfully.At this moment, she made me restless. At this time, Jiang Si came over and handed over a microphone, and looked at the "good things" that appeared on the screen in the direction of his finger. He wanted to get rid of all kinds of harassment from Yaojia as soon as possible, and took Mai, got up and sang along. What was surprising was that Jiang Si and I had an unusually tacit cooperation. We had never discussed it but we were in tune. After the song was over, I reluctantly returned to the position just now, looking at Yao Jia The previous cunning became complicated, even distorted, and the pleasure of revenge appeared in his heart.

"Yutong, I think we need to talk"

"I don't think there's much to talk about"

"I'm ready to separate from him, but it will take some time"

"What does it have to do with me?" I ignored some of the joy in my heart, and I didn't know what I was thinking more and more

In the reinforced concrete jungle, I like, always burn violently after moths pounce on the flame.And love is often tasted slowly in the long stream of water. The changes in the world and the years are the best sense of authenticating love.

If Chen Xuming's temperature is just right at 37°C, then Yaojia's temperature is almost 80°C, which is hot enough to melt my heart frozen by Shunjun.For Yaojia's repeated invitations, one day I agreed to it by accident, and since then, my days of hanging out with Yaojia and jumping around have begun.

At the beginning of summer, the fiery red sun began to radiate its power wantonly, and the direct light was extremely strong.

At this time, I was wandering aimlessly in the shopping mall with Yaojia, blowing on the free air-conditioning, the sweat on my forehead had just evaporated, Yaojia, the devil, curled his mouth again, and looked at me slightly sideways

"Why?" Seeing her malicious eyes, I asked first

"I want to eat fish roe sushi, would you like it?"

“I don't eat sushi”

"Then can you help me buy it?"

"casual"

When I walked to the stall, I said abruptly, "I'm going to serve fish roe sushi, put coriander instead of green onions." As soon as I finished speaking, the proprietress looked at me stupidly, and then replied after a while, "I, I don't have coriander here. No shallots either”

"Oh" Looking back at Yao Jia who couldn't hold back his laughter, clutching his stomach and trembling wildly, the way he leaned forward and back together made me baffled

"Actually, do you care about me?" I managed to stop laughing, but my heartstrings seemed to be plucked heavily by that wicked look.

It is said on the Internet that a woman will never forget her first one, and I comfort myself in the same way. Yaojia and I have nothing to do with love, nothing to do with love...

"Hello? Missed me?"

"Are you still in the dream?" That bad emphasis seems to have some kind of magic power

"That is, aren't you my dream?"

"Okay, don't do this to me. Are you free on Saturday? My dad gave me two movie tickets"

"Are you free to ask me out? Anyone who asks me will push it away. What movie?"

"It's the latest Titanic made in 3D"

"Oh"

After hanging up the phone, it was difficult for me to explain my behavior.

In the theater, Rose and Jack performed the classic jumping into the sea, but what I thought about was: if they both survived, what kind of ending would this kind of love be like.Thinking about it, Yaojia suddenly took me into his arms without warning, leaned over obediently, and said "youjump, Ijump" in a muffled voice

The voice of "youjump, Inotjump" came from the top of the head, and a little bit of coldness penetrated into the heart

After seeing me silent for a long time, Yaojia tightened his embrace, and said softly, "Idiot, I'm just kidding."

After the people in the song parted, I let her hold my hand, deliberately ignoring the peace of mind at this moment, and said again out of nowhere: "Yesterday, my mother gave me two more movie vouchers."

"Okay, what do you want to see?" She smiled half a smile, her eyes were full of doting

"There doesn't seem to be much to see recently," muttered softly

"Why don't we watch a ghost movie, it seems that there is a person named Embroidered Shoes" The long straight hair on the shoulders fluttered with the wind, and several disobedient strands were entangled with each other, I really wanted to help her smooth the naughty hair, As soon as such thoughts popped up, I was shocked, and then I said perfunctorily: "Whatever"

In fact, some things permeate like dripping water penetrates a rock, inadvertently, pervasively, and hard to feel intentionally, but when you understand it, it will be beyond redemption.

That day, 10 minutes after the opening of the movie, I couldn't stand the risk of my heart beating out and my guts would be frightened, so I pulled Yao Jia and walked out

"Why are you so scared? The ghost hasn't come out yet?"

"Shut up and watch ghost movies, it's a waste"

"Okay, okay, don't be angry, I'll ask you to read it next time"

Later, Yaojia held me in his arms, and still said maliciously: I thought that watching ghost movies would automatically throw you into my arms. You are so timid.

The sun at the end of June is so hot that it is difficult to breathe as long as you leave the air conditioner. Such a city has not been rated as one of the "Four Stoves". I am really sorry for the temperature.

Since I told Xiao Xiao about my feelings, my best and best friendship has gradually lost contact, and the relationship between people is cold and warm.I often thought that Xiaoxiao and I could go through all the ups and downs of life, take each other's lovers and children, and sit in a wheelchair and talk about the stories of the past.But the reality runs counter to the current temperature. I no longer dare to easily share this secret that can never exist in the sun with others, but Yaojia, she always seems to let me witness the difference in this world, isn’t it so In my mind, it's either black or white.