mortal death

"People surrounded by the city want to escape, and people outside the city want to rush in. Whether it is marriage or career, most of the wishes in life are like this." - Qian Zhongshu "The Besieged City"

Unexpectedly, the next morning, there were still a few girls who came to sign up. It was a little better than yesterday, and [-] people were recruited. The president said: Let's call it a day.

I was a little sleepy, and I thought that I might run into Lin Haoran again when it was late, so I didn't say anything about going to dinner together. I felt hungry and my eyes turned black when I was walking on the road, but when I arrived at the dormitory, I suddenly lost my appetite. There is still half of the leftover bread from the morning. I looked at the half of the bread and felt like a sponge. The loose holes were like horrible holes. It was a bit disgusting. I threw the half of the bread into the trash can .

I lost my appetite, and suddenly felt a little unable to hold on.Even climbing into bed was a little difficult.

I like the feeling of being surrounded by the quilt. It feels very safe, like a strong and soft person hugging me.

Fall asleep quickly this time.

When I woke up, the dormitory was a bit dark, and I was still the only one in the dormitory. They might have gone out to eat, or they might be studying in the library.

The dormitory is very quiet, I can hear the sound of water flowing slowly through the pipes, and I can hear the sound of the wind blowing through the curtains.I don't deny it, I like this feeling.

I gently wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes on the quilt.But I am not autistic, I also long to study, eat, and play with other people, but I can’t help it. In front of everyone, I always have a sense of shame that I am seen through. They are all so good, how can I be with them? side by side.

It was the sound of a key being inserted into the keyhole. I thought silently, since the lights in the dormitory were not turned on, and I installed the bed curtains, they probably thought I hadn't come back yet.

"Pa-ta--" it turned on the light.It must be very harsh, luckily I have bed curtains.

The sound of the soles grinding the ground was a bit heavy.Is it Anzhe?

Suddenly the footsteps stopped, probably sitting down, but didn't hear the sound of the chair being dragged?

I covered my ears, despising myself like a voyeur.

Suddenly I felt the bed shaking.

I opened my eyes, a little strange, why does the distance seem a little close?

The one who lives next to me is the school committee, is he back?

No, this distance - it's clearly my bed!Is there a thief?

I stared in surprise, waiting for the "thief" to come up.

The moment the bed curtain was lifted, I was blinded by the glare of the light, and felt a tall shadow covering the light. When I opened my eyes, it was the cork against the light.

I was a little surprised, but I couldn't see his expression clearly.But there was a seriousness in the air.

Cork was propped up on the railing beside the bed, but it didn't seem to be very difficult.

The two of us looked at each other for a minute, I think.

Huang Bai asked: "How long have you slept?"

After thinking about it, I sat up, and when I sat up, I found that Huang Bai was behind me, so I turned around slowly: "I don't know, what time is it?"

"...It's past four o'clock."

I said, "That's about four hours."

Huang Bai asked me in a calm voice: "Did you not eat again?" There was no need to answer, he seemed to know the answer, and tugged at my clothes: "Get down."

I sighed, moved, and felt some strength again. When I got up, Huangbai had already gone down.

After washing his face, he turned his head and saw Huang Bai was carrying a fanny pack, he seemed ready to go out, but he was sitting on the chair again, staring at me like that, and not playing with his phone.

I asked, "Are you going out?"

"Have a meal."

I shook my head: "Oh, you haven't eaten yet."

Huang Bai stood up: "Take, you, go, eat."

Oh, I'm dizzy again.

When I was dragged by Huang Bo to Xueyi cafeteria, I still hadn't figured out why Huang Bo needed a backpack for a meal in the cafeteria?

I took two dishes at random and prepared to settle the bill.Huang Bo grabbed my arm and forced me to add another dish—oh, salt-baked chicken.Can I say that the salt-baked chicken in this cafeteria tastes very fishy to me?

I was just about to say I don't eat it.Huang Bai said: "Don't say you don't want to eat. You can't return it."

"It hasn't been paid yet."

"Then you put it back and try."

I looked at the people around me, everyone seemed to be looking at me, it was hard for me not to wonder how they would hate me if I put it back now.So I gave up and went to pay anyway.

Huang Bai still said on the sidelines: "Look at you eating so little." I thought to myself that it's already a lot, and I usually only eat two dishes. "The two you took at the beginning were both vegetarian." What's wrong with me being a vegetarian?Can't I practice with my hair?Vegetarian is good for health. "Research shows that vegetarians are prone to infertility."

...that's kind of it.

I said, "You are my father, can you stop talking?"

On the contrary, Huang Bai was happier, found a place to sit down and said to me: "Haha, then I have to care more about my descendants."

Nima, although I don't want to talk, but I also have a temper. There are so many people, why speak yellow accents.

I said: "What are you talking about? I won't get married." Although there is nothing to associate with this sentence, there are so many unmarried people now, and I often call myself this, but now I am completely out of Considering other people, who am I not a delay to?

After saying this, I felt someone pat me on the shoulder, I turned my head, and it was Lin Haoran.

Lin Haoran held the dinner plate, as if he had something to say.

I greeted him: "Hello."

Lin Haoran seemed a little happy: "I saw you again!"

But I couldn't be happy, so I reluctantly greeted me. Lin Haoran seemed to be very friendly to me. The frequent meeting these days made me startled. First, he knew that I had committed suicide. Second, It was me who was terrified of this sudden intimate contact.

The moment he saved me, I was really grateful to him.But the over-the-top human connection overwhelmed me.

I ate my food nervously and decided to ignore it.I know it's not polite, but it's better than embarrassment.

Huang Bai was a little surprised, probably thinking that I should not have other friends.He even showed some kindness to Lin Haoran happily, and invited him to sit next to us. I was struggling in my heart, but the rejection I wanted to say was stuck in my heart and I couldn't get it out.

Fortunately, Lin Haoran seemed to have another partner, and he didn't sit down, but just stood and greeted.

I listened to them while eating the dishes.

"Oh! The administrator?! I and xx are classmates."

"Are you Chen Gong's classmate?"

"Ah, friend. We're in the same class." My heart moved, my friend, and I carefully chewed these two words over and over again, until I found a little bit of bitterness.When I reacted, I realized that I was eating lettuce.

"My classmate is waiting for me over there. I'll go first." Lin Haoran deliberately lowered his head and said to me, "I'll see you next time."

I especially want to ask: what do you need from me?I find it difficult, but he has gone far.

After Huang Bai sat down, he didn't ask me anything, which made me feel relieved, but I couldn't tell from his expression alone that he was happy or happy, he swiped his phone expressionlessly.I'm sure it's expressionless.

It is really unimaginable that a person can switch to two completely different expressions in less than 1 minute.Sure enough, I was too stupid.

When Huang Bai saw me looking at him, he just urged: "Eat quickly."

I started eating slowly again.

It's not that I don't want to hurry up, it's just that my stomach will definitely feel uncomfortable if I eat too fast.

Once when I felt nauseous, Huang Bai asked me: "Have you got it?"

I was so choked that I couldn't speak.

So, that's why I insist on not selling medicine. Logically speaking, taking medicine will relieve my depression, but I am also afraid of those side effects. I heard that taking medicine will make people stupid.I'm not smart, and I don't want to be dumber or dumber.

Oh, it's far away, I'm actually still thinking about why Lin Haoran said such things to me, and I feel a little headache thinking about it, so I'm a little overwhelmed, forget it, let's wait for him to come to me.

Unexpectedly, he didn't come to me, but I went to him instead.

Life is so unexpected.

During the interview, I met a child who entered our interview room crying.The president and I suspected that this was the wrong way.Unexpectedly, the child came up to me crying, and I took a closer look, no, this is still an acquaintance.

That child is from my hometown, and she found me through some "means" when she was in school. To be honest, I always have some bad memories of the word "home", so when she found me, she cried out excitedly. "Brother, we are fellow villagers." I could only smile.

To be honest, the kid is good-looking, with a bit of a clever look, with wavy hair, and I don't know how many boys he has lost by wandering around.

The child said, "Brother, can you help me?"

I was a little strange and felt a little headache. The two words I couldn't hear the most were "help". I am indeed a selfish and hypocritical person.

"Um... what's wrong?"

The child's eyes were still red: "I went to the original music club for an interview, but I didn't pass the interview."

"Ah..." But what does this have to do with me?Didn't I have never done it before?

The president and the others were all watching the show, I sighed and said, "This... I can't help you with anything."

The child suddenly stopped crying, and said, "You can help me, brother, I heard that you have a very good relationship with the president of the original company."

I suddenly felt a lump in my heart: "Who did you... listen to?" It's just that I've only met three times in total, how can I be so familiar?

The child's eyes are a little dodged.

I said again: "Besides, this kind of admission matter is usually not considered by the president alone."

Some sighed, everyone really wanted to join the original music club, even if there were other choices, they would still prefer the better one.Or, who isn't?But they may not know that someone is envious of them.