fingertip quicksand

After that scene, Nan Jiu always acted as if nothing had happened, but Bai Bai felt flustered. In fact, it may not be appropriate to say flustered, it should be said that he felt absurd, and he couldn't restrain himself. Emotion of rejection

Although I have been trying to convince myself to understand Nan Jiu's strange sexual orientation, it's not that I haven't heard of these things, but it just didn't happen to me.

But then I thought again, why would such an excellent girl like Nan Jiu do this?From Bai Bai's point of view, she couldn't understand it, and even felt a little twisted, so that when she recalled some things that happened when she got along with Nan Jiu, the normal way of getting along was suddenly marked. quotes or even exclamation marks

No matter how much he persuaded him, no matter how much he forced himself to understand, Bai Bai still couldn't calmly continue to get along with Nan Jiu as friends, and would always have a strange feeling, and this feeling not only did not Diminished with the passage of time, but intensified

And Nan Jiu also felt Bai Bai's intentional alienation. Although there were still one or two phone calls occasionally, what Bai Bai said obviously became a little blunt and deliberate, even cautious, always afraid of touching some sensitive people. topic, as time goes by, Nan Jiu doesn't even make one or two occasional phone calls anymore.

Nan Jiu's non-entanglement made Bai Bai heave a sigh of relief. Her bland handling made Bai Bai feel that even if she was gay, she should have no other meaning to him. To be clear, I don't care what kind of woman she is, as long as the object is not me, everything is acceptable and ok

So in the later conversation, Bai Bai asked Nan Jiu like this

"Why do you like girls"

Nan Jiu is not sensitive to such topics, maybe she is used to it

"If Xiaohui was a boy, I would also like her, if I like her, I will like her"

Xiaohui is the girl's name. When Nan Jiu mentioned her, a little helplessness flashed in her eyes

"then you……"

Bai Bai looked at Nan Jiu hesitantly

Nan Jiu shrugged and said

"Do you think I'm weird?"

I don’t think it’s weird, but I think it’s a little abnormal, maybe it’s a bit too much abnormal, but Bai Bai’s thoughts at the time were indeed the same, extreme or pedantic

Although Bai Bai felt so in his heart, he was still reluctant to admit it, shaking his head and saying

"No, I just think it's a bit novel, and you are such an excellent person like Nan Jiu."

That’s right, after all, no one is perfect, and those seemingly perfect people actually have some shortcomings that outsiders don’t know about. Bai Bai attributed Nan Jiu’s sexual orientation to a shortcoming. Although it is not fatal, it does bring some difficulties. perceived taint

"Actually, it doesn't matter if you think I'm weird. After all, I don't expect everyone to understand. If you feel pressure to get along with me, just say so."

"No, really not"

Repeatedly reiterated that there is no word, it seems a bit redundant, a little guilty

"You can't possibly like me anyway"

Bai Bai said this tentatively, and did not forget to add a sentence at the end

"am I right"

Nan Jiu tilted her head slightly, and looked at Bai Bai with interest. Bai Bai was a little flustered by the sight, and even thought, could it be that she really likes herself?

"Why do you think I don't like you?"

Bai Bai felt a little embarrassed and put his hands behind his back, hesitantly did not dare to look into Nan Jiu's eyes, but Nan Jiu did not continue to embarrass Bai Bai

"Okay, just kidding"

Hearing this, I felt relieved, but I still felt a little strange in my heart, but those strange feelings did not show in Bai Bai, just continued to chat with Nan Jiu in a very ordinary way

But if you talk too much, you will always lose what you say. Although you are careful enough, your words will always involve some sensitive aspects from time to time

"Speaking of it this way, you miss my boyfriend even more. My boyfriend looks completely heartless. If it's you, you'll cheer me up on my birthday, talk to me when I'm bored, and comfort me when I'm tired..."

Bai Bai stopped talking suddenly as he was talking, he seemed to think that such a joke was not suitable to play with Nan Jiu, and it was okay to make such a joke with other friends, but she didn’t seem to be able to

"That, I was joking"

Seeing that Bai Bai wanted to take back those words in a panic, Nan Jiu couldn't help jokingly saying

"I know you're joking"

Bai Bai doesn't know if Nan Jiu is angry, but Bai Bai has to admit that she can't get along with Nan Jiu peacefully now, and if she talks or something wrong, she will have the urge to take it back immediately

Even if there was such an episode in the middle, it didn't actually affect the relationship between the two of them. Occasionally, they would still go out shopping together, eat together, etc., no different from ordinary friends, just relative The number of times has decreased a lot

The distance that Bai Bai deliberately opened also caused a certain gap in the relationship between the two. Bai Bai did not dare to accept Nan Jiu's kindness, because her care and concern were covered with some inexplicable other meanings in the middle.

Maybe it's just that Bai Bai is a little more sensitive, but these doubts are suppressed in his heart, and he still wants to ask, why should he be so kind to himself?Just because we're friends?The more I think about it, the weirder it becomes, and the more I think about it, the more confused I become, and there is some worry and fear in addition to the confusion

"However, I have always wanted to ask you"

Bai Bai is still hesitant to speak

"Just tell me anything"

Different from Bai Bai's hesitation, Nan Jiu has always been frank, she cleared her throat and said

"do you like me?"

This is the second time I have asked this question, and her previous answer was just vague, but this time she asked again, Bai Bai didn't know the meaning of asking this question, maybe it was just to satisfy her own curiosity Heart?Or vanity?

But Nan Jiu doesn't seem to want to answer this question, or it should be said that her answer is not what Bai Bai wanted.

"You are fine"

It’s just a good sentence, this answer seems to be a perfect way to avoid Bai Bai’s question, neither saying I like it nor saying I don’t like it

Bai Bai still wanted to ask more questions, but he didn't know where to ask again, so he had to give up. In order to ease the atmosphere, Bai Bai had nothing to say and had to find something to say

"I used to come this road with my dad when I was a kid"

There are large and small irregular pebbles scattered on the ground, and the feet are also uneven. It is very inconvenient to walk in this place with high heels. Nan Jiu looked in the direction Bai Bai was looking at.

"However, the conditions in this place were not so good in the past. They were all muddy roads, so it would be particularly difficult to walk when it rained. Every time I would pretend to be tired from walking, and then pester my dad that I couldn't walk because I was tired. , in fact, I just don’t want to get my shoes dirty.”

Nan Jiu listened quietly without interruption.Bai Bai saw that she seemed to be listening carefully, so he continued talking.

"Guess what my dad usually says at that time"

"say what?"

Nan Jiu didn't cooperate at all and didn't try to guess

"Just take a guess"

Bai Bai said that a little unwillingly.

"Um……"

Nan Jiu didn't come up with a reason for a long time. It was because she was thinking about it, but she took a long time to think about it. It was obviously a very simple question, but she made it seem a little complicated. This made Bai Bai very anxious.

"If you ask me to guess, it will really give me internal injuries."

There seemed to be some loneliness in Nan Jiu's eyes, an imperceptible loneliness. She really didn't know what Bai Bai's father would say. If it was her own father, Nan Jiu couldn't help showing a mocking smile when she thought of this, mocking myself

"my dad said"

Bai Bai seemed to have imitated her father's tone of voice and movements, put his hands behind his back, and really had a middle-aged man's unique appearance, and deliberately said in a thick throat

"Come on, Dad will carry you, while Dad is not old yet, he can still carry you."

That kind of expression and that kind of doting words are far away to Nanjiu, so I am a little envious

Bai Bai ran to the front and squatted down.

"Come up, I'll carry you"

Nan Jiu made a cut, bent down and patted Bai Bai who was squatting on the ground, the force was not heavy, it was just a rough pat, Bai Bai stood up cheerfully, and chased after him, because Nan Jiu had already left to the front

"I envy you, having such a good father"

Speaking of this point, Bai Bai who was originally elated, the dots of starlight in his eyes dimmed little by little, the corners of his mouth twitched a few times, trying to hide a smile but he didn't

"Unfortunately, he died in a car accident in my freshman year of high school. People really say that if they don't exist, they will disappear."

These words surprised Nan Jiu, but Nan Jiu didn't ask too much, but fell silent, and naturally didn't try to comfort her.

"Didn't you ask me before why I hate rich people? In fact, when my dad had a car accident, if he was sent to the hospital in time, nothing would happen, but he ran away, and in the end because the perpetrator was rich and powerful , I didn’t get any punishment, so I just threw a sum of money to my mother and me.”

Bai Bai's tone of voice at the moment is deliberately casual, she still can't forget this matter, but she pretends to forget it, pretends not to care

"Reciprocity, do you want to listen to my story, it may be worse than yours?"

At that moment, Nan Jiu wanted to comfort the girl, comforting for no reason, but just didn't want to see her sad

But she didn't know how to comfort her, so she had to choose the most stupid way, uncovering her scars and these heavy things, just to cover up Bai Bai's sadness, and never thought about whether she would be the same injured

But this girl doesn't seem to want to listen

"Okay, we're not comparing ourselves to anyone else"

They all just want to grow up in an ordinary way and live an ordinary life, but reality always likes to run counter to it. The more you don’t want to do this, the more things will develop like this

If on this day, Nan Jiu insists on telling her past, will everything develop again, will everything end here?

However, in the world, there has never been an if