Continuation of "Gone with the Wind"

Chapter 110

A warm handkerchief was handed over.She raised her head, and saw Disson's mournful and pitiful face through her eyes blurred by tears.He waited quietly for her to wipe away her tears, stretched out his hand, pulled her into his arms, and whispered in her ear: "I'm sorry. Actually, the one who really wants to apologize is me. "She was rarely willing to cry in front of him, but this time she didn't care at all.Crying heartily in front of a person shows his trust in that person, but he thinks he has no right to this trust.

"I never thought that you would torture yourself so hard. I was wrong, and I'm sorry for you. I lost a relationship in the war, and I just wanted to fill my heart with another relationship. I have no right to do so. I have no right to judge what another person's feelings for you are. I am still a selfish person who only wants to use my kindness to you and Angela to capture your heart, but I don't ask for it. I don’t want to be self-righteous and tell you that I don’t care about your husband’s death at all, and I don’t care about my ex-wife, that’s not loyalty or openness, it’s just my self-inflated In the end, you were right to leave me, I never really knew you at all, but I said I love you without shame, the one who is really unworthy of your love is actually not your husband, but me. "

"Don't say that." Lan Li wanted to speak, but Disen stopped her.He let her go, and said: "I know you can't bear to see me tormenting myself like this, you are a good person, but I can no longer try to use your kindness to beg for your love. I try to forget my sins, try to Pretend to be nice to you, secretly hope that you can change your mind all the time, and accept someone who is far less than your pure heart. But you didn't, I want to thank you, it is you who let me see the true What kind of me am I, how can such a me deserve to stay by your side? But I will make it up to you in the end, although I don't expect to be forgiven by you." His words were completely sincere, and he was sincere about his own morality. The cruel sentence is also a farewell to the love that I have worked so hard to obtain.

He slowly got up from the sofa, but unexpectedly his hands were tightly held.He couldn't believe his sense of touch, and his subconscious reaction was to shake it off, but he had to trust his ears. "Actually, I really don't blame you anymore. I just want you to stop looking down on yourself so much, and stop putting me in such a high position."

In the future, there will be a future between them?Disson looked at the gentle smile in Lanli's eyes in disbelief, but didn't realize what was going on for a while.

"Dison, dear. Actually, when I saw you for the first time, my heart seemed to be touched by something. At that time, I thought I had fallen in love with you. Even if I didn't know what happened later Thinking of, I hate you, I hate the north, I hate the wrong person, but the feeling in my heart is still lingering. I feel like I don’t know myself anymore, and I don’t want to lose me because of this inexplicable feeling The original look, so I ran away. You are right, I was afraid, afraid that I would become another person, I just wanted to keep my appearance and rebuild a perfect self, but I failed—just Like my hometown in the south, the new and the original are impossible to be the same—in Scarlett’s words, I was defeated by love. I don’t want to admit my failure, but I still can’t forget you after so many years, even if You are cold-blooded and heartless in my eyes. I know this is the love I have for you, but I dare not admit it. I thought I would never love someone who I swore to hate forever, just because you didn't I'm just as perfect as I imagined, just like I'm not the muse you imagined. No one is perfect. I couldn't tolerate this before, but now I am willing to accept it. I want to thank you, too. Let me recognize myself. This me and this you are not perfect statues in each other's mind, but we are willing to admit that we love each other, and that's enough."

"Are you really, really, willing to accept me?" Disen was so excited that he couldn't speak well.

"As long as you are willing to admit, I am not that perfect substitute." Lan Li stood up and hugged him tightly.

"Now, what I owe you will really never be repaid for the rest of my life." Disson whispered softly in her ear, not at all the tone a debtor should have.

"I should say that no one owes anyone in love, but since you said that, I will write down your words. If you go back on your word in the future, you will have the blame in my hands. Besides, don't you plan to pay it back? "Lan Li tilted her head and looked at him, smiling mischievously.

"Don't worry. From today on, I won't renege on my debts again." Disen also smiled, and kissed her lips lightly.

Scarlett had a very fulfilling week this week, although she really didn't want to be so fulfilling at all.The guest list that Deason brought back was so short that she doubted her eyes for the first time in her life—it wasn’t enough to drag it to the ground, and the records about those people’s hobbies and taboos were so long that she doubted her eyes again— There are just too many people in the world, so why is there such a variety of ways?She really felt that she had read more words these days than in the previous 28 years, and these things tortured her much more than pretending to be a lady in Charleston.A lady can stop pretending if she can't, but she has to memorize those noble people's weird living habits if she can't.Although it was all for Rhett, but—well, she discovered that as soon as Rhett left her side, she would encounter all kinds of bad luck.So for the sake of peace in the future, she insisted on forcing herself to spend a whole day writing down the records of likes and dislikes that were a headache for those stenographers.Seeing her hard work, Lanli has been persuading her to be targeted, not to remember all of them as long as they can match the number. After all, a party is not long and it is impossible to always encounter things that the guests don't like.She knew that Lanli wanted to help her, but she was always worried that there would be omissions; Disen also said that it was enough to just remember the top few people, but now she doesn't trust all the titles on the surface, who is more important? Having more powerful means is not something that can be seen through a few titles. What Rhett said made her understand that no one should be underestimated.She is like a terrified spider, weaving the finest web in her mind, for fear that any passing flying insect will be missed.

However, what a spider web needs most is stickiness. No matter how many or dense dead threads are touched, they will not be lethal.Of course Scarlett knew this too, otherwise she wouldn't have been urging Lanli so frequently to teach herself how to increase her attractiveness in the past few days.She didn't want to interrupt the emotional communication between Lan Li and Disson, who had finally resumed, and was sincerely happy for the two of them, but right now she really didn't have the time to bless them.Fortunately, Lanli is considerate and Deason is magnanimous. The key is that they will have more time to cultivate their relationship in the future, so they try their best to meet Scarlett's request.

The preparations for the banquet were already in place, and Scarlett felt that the northerners were really efficient in handling affairs no matter what, and most of them might be short-tempered.However, with Lan Li's supervision, the progress of the entire decoration project has been under control, and the final effect is quite satisfactory.Because the time was too tight, although Lan Li had higher requirements for the details, she had to make do with it.No one has any regrets about it except herself.Scarlett marveled at the dedication she had shown even more than she marveled at the splendor of the banquet hall.She has never seen such an artist. If there is such a thing in the world, it must be like Lan Li.Scarlett felt that she was really similar to her father Gerald. Although she had no knowledge, she admired those who had knowledge, and at the same time she didn't feel inferior because she didn't read much.I don't have it myself, but I can happily appreciate what others have. This is true optimism.Of course, she is far worse than Dad.

But now, when she thought of her father, Scarlett couldn't help but think of the embarrassing marriage between him and her mother.There is nothing more heartbreaking than to learn that you are not the product of parental love but of duty, if only she hadn't known it, if Mammy hadn't told her, if-- What's the use of thinking about it when you already know it all?Since she had no right to blame anyone for the mistake—if she had a right, Wade and Ella had even more—don't even think about it.

But I can't do it if I don't want to, especially when facing Paul.She cheered herself up more than once, implying that she was just a child and nothing would happen, her property would not be taken away, and Tara would not change her name, but she knew that this was not what she really cared about, if possible She would rather use money to exchange for peace of mind.She could do whatever she wanted with hired prisoners and business competitors, but he was still a child.She never treated children differently before, but "treated them equally", so the two biological children kept her away from her for a long time, and this situation did not change until after she fell ill.She admits that she is not a qualified mother, but just when she is about to change herself, God is unwilling to give her this opportunity. The mistakes have been made and it is useless to make up for it; then she meets Jack first. It can only be summed up as "mutual use", but later it became more and more unclear; Paul is also the same. She only used him as a bargaining chip to please Rhett and didn't like him at all. She even complained once she knew his true identity. He made trouble for himself, but complaining was nothing but complaints. If she really had to be cruel to tell him the truth, she was afraid that she would hurt him. When did she become so soft-hearted?