There is a kind of love that is insincere

I hypnotized myself to be able to strengthen Zhuo Luoyin's trust in me, and then when he was not at home today, I went to the DVD store like a thief.I don't think I have done such a wretched thing since I was a child. In fact, I secretly came here behind Zhuo Luoyin's back. I don't want him to see that I learned to accept it like this. Moreover, I didn't do it for him, lest he see it. I feel guilty about his face.But I think this is also a courageous step for me to fall in love with a man.

There is a DVD store near my house. In the morning, I used my excuse to go home to get study materials and come back here. Otherwise, with the level of care Zhuo Luoyin took for me, he would definitely not let me go out.

He bound me in his world, I often feel oppressed, painful.During the few days I stayed at Zhuo Luoyin's house, I felt like I was moldy, and now I was in a daze even when I took the bus.

After I got out of the car, I went straight here, looked left and right at the entrance of the DVD, and saw that there was no one I knew with my parents, so I walked in quickly.

The plate seller was a wretched middle-aged man. When he saw me, he had a clear smile on his face, but he still asked normally, "Young man, what plate do you want?"

I looked at the door, and hesitated to say, "Do you have the kind of tertiary movies that men watch with men?"

He looked at me appreciatively, and smiled, "Yes, yes, which one do you like?"

I was taken aback, "Is there a style?"

"Everyone, give me one." I stammered, almost biting my own tongue nervously.

He probably didn't think that I would ask for it. He stared at me with wide eyes, then smiled obscenely, and packed the dishes for me.I saw a lot of dishes under the counter, and my jaw almost dropped in surprise. Could it be that the boss is also gay?No way?I suddenly felt this obscene atmosphere in this store, why didn't I feel it before?I remember that I used to help my dad rent a blockbuster movie about the War of Resistance.

"Do you want to put it in a black bag for you, young man?"

I rolled his eyes at him, "Just put it on," I don't want someone on the street to call me a pervert when they accidentally see this thing, and I don't want to be a pervert either.

He put two bags on me and handed me the things, which felt very heavy to me.

"how much is it?"

"two hundred."

I was surprised, "So expensive?"

"You don't know that plates are strictly prohibited now, I sold you so many, two hundred is cheap enough." He said, and took out two more plates from under the counter and put them in my bag, "I'll give you two more plates. "

Hearing what he said, I hesitated to give him 200 yuan, never thinking that I would spend so much money for watching this kind of stuff.When I walked out of the DVD shop with the bag, the sun outside made my eyes hurt, so I covered the sun and walked to the station.

There were a lot of people waiting for the bus at noon. I stood aside and looked at the crowded vehicles. I didn't go up and wanted to wait for the next one.But the more I waited like this, the more crowded the bus was. In the end, I really had no choice but to squeeze into a bus that could get off a little closer to the Zhuo Luoyin villa area.All kinds of sweaty smells in the car, and the noise of people talking, the irritability in my heart changed from a little to a lot.I really wanted to get to the terminal quickly so that I could get off the bus quickly, I suddenly wondered how Zhuo Luoyin got home, he couldn't squeeze this kind of car every day, could he?Isn't that particularly painful?

Suddenly the car stopped, and the person behind me pushed me forward, and I almost fell down. If I hadn't grabbed the railing on the side, my face would have been ruined.It's just that the bag in my hand fell to the ground, and the wrapped dishes didn't fall out, but the boss stuffed me with two dishes and rolled over, making my whole face pale with fright.

I hurried to pick it up, and only picked up the first plate. I was squeezed behind someone who got out of the car, and fell into the arms of a person. He had a faint fragrance of paint on his body, which made me stunned.

I looked up at him, isn't this the guy I met on the bus that time?

He seemed to be taken aback when he looked at me, but what I cared about was not meeting me again, but the plate under his feet.

.Can you move your foot away? "I blushed and whispered.

When he heard it, he moved his foot away, and I quickly put the plate into the bag, noticing the astonishment in his eyes, his look almost gave me the urge to hit the wall.I didn't dare to see what kind of eyes he was looking at me, so I stood up and turned my back to him, and got off the car as soon as I got to the next stop.I'd rather wait for the next crowded car than take this car with this boy.

It's just that when I got off at the next stop, he also got off, and I suddenly felt that God was playing with me.I comforted myself that he got out of the car just to come here, and when I walked forward, he also followed me forward. His behavior really shocked me.

"When are you going to stay with me?" I finally couldn't stand it anymore, turned around and stared at him, he was taken aback when I spoke to him.

The wind blew the corners of his clothes slightly, and there were dimples at the corners of his mouth. He was still wearing the white shirt I saw last time, and it seemed that he had washed it even more yellow.He was silent for a moment, and said, "My family lives here."

After I heard it, I was angry, but I was discouraged.I glanced at him, turned and walked back, and was relieved to see that he hadn't moved.

I walked to the bus station, and I was the only one here. I looked at the bag in my hand and really wanted to throw it away, but when I thought I paid 200 yuan to buy it, I couldn't bear it.At this time, the boy suddenly ran over, grabbed my hand, and put two yuan in my hand. I looked at him, slightly dazed.

He smiled, "Although you said last time that you don't need to pay it back, I still want to pay it back to you."

The two dollars he gave me were a bit old. I was looking at his clothes, and I felt that he was not particularly rich, maybe a little poor.

"It's okay." I thought if I hadn't met him again, I would have forgotten him.

"Are you going to wait for the car to go home?" He didn't know what was going on in front of him. When he saw the other party turn around, he just felt that he couldn't just let the other party go. What would he lose?

I nodded.

.I walked fast last time and didn't ask your name. What's your name? "

I wondered, shouldn't he give me the money and leave?Why do you still ask me so many questions?

But out of politeness, I said, "Bai Yuanyi."

He smiled and asked, "Which words?"

I hesitated, and then said, "White white, profound abyss, endless stream." Suddenly I remembered the last time Zhuo Luoyin said his name to my mother, I felt inexplicably familiar, it turned out to be endless stream, But how could he and I be in an endless stream?

He said softly, "Then do you remember my name?"

I looked at him, he looked at me, and it took me a long time to say, "Your name is Lan Shiting?"

Lan Shining gave me a sunny smile, his smile blended with the sun's rays, making me feel warm.I looked away from his face uncomfortably, hating people with warm smiles.

"It's nice of you to still remember my name."

His words made my chest hurt. I seem to be able to see some familiar shadows from him. Whose shadow is that?

"Aren't you going home? Aren't you leaving?" I wanted to drive him away, not wanting him to disturb my heart.

"I'll go back later."

"Oh." I heard him say this all the time, and I was too embarrassed to say anything more, so I could only ignore him.Thinking that I didn’t want to take a car in front of me, and the cars came one after another. Now I want to take a car, but I don’t even see the shadow of the car. How can I be so bad today?

He looked at me and suddenly said,That, Bai Yuanyi, I guess the car you want to take will arrive in half an hour. "

After he finished speaking, I was surprised, "No way?"

He nodded as I watched.I wondered why there were so many cars in front of me, and that's what it meant.If I have to wait here for half an hour, I might as well walk back by myself.

"Are there taxis here?"

He thought for a while and said, "It should be very few."

I'm frustrated, and now I really have to walk back, and while there's nothing wrong with walking back, I'm holding some dishes that are so heavy that my hands hurt.

"My family has a bicycle, and I can take you home." He was thinking about his own calculations, and he didn't know why he wanted to stay with the other party so much.

"Trouble you?"

He shook his head, with a faint smile on his lips, "Anyway, I'm only alone when I go home."

I heard his sad tone, and then looked at his expression, and felt that he was a bit pitiful. Is it my illusion?

"Let's go then."

When I followed him to his house, I realized why I felt that way.His house is very secluded, a house built of cement boards, with a small yard. Looking at the roof, I think that if it rains, it will definitely leak, and the ash on the outside walls has been peeled off, showing dilapidation.

He went into the house to get the bicycle keys, and I walked in together. It was bright inside, and under the light, I saw a different scene from the outside.The walls are covered with colorful paintings, very beautiful, like being in a fairy tale, clean and simple.His furniture is very simple, a bed, a table, a chair, a toilet, but no kitchen.I was a little dazed, remembering that time when he went to the exam with a drawing board on his back, he should be an art student, he was really talented to paint the wallpaper of this house like this.

Lan Shining came to the other party's side, seeing the brilliance in the other party's eyes, she was happy for no reason, as if she could find someone who appreciates him.But he was wrong, I just like pretty things.

"Did you pass the art test?" I turned my head to look at him, but he looked at me without saying a word.

There was no expression on his face, and I knew the answer to my question without him saying it.I stood close to the wall, looked at the colorful paintings on the wall, and said sadly, "You are so good at painting, why didn't you pass the exam?"

He shook his head with a faint smile, "It doesn't mean you can pass the exam if you draw well."

"Then what else is needed?"

.People and money. "

After I listened to it, I felt that reality slapped me. It was obviously his fault, but it made me sad.

"Just because of this, you didn't pass the exam? Impossible?" I would ask like this, although I knew the darkness of reality, but I didn't expect it to be so cruel.

He said calmly, "They exchanged my paintings with others, and the grades changed." He said calmly, but I couldn't hear it calmly.

"Why don't you report them?" I believe that the law can sanction them, but I also forget that there is no power and power, and who will help you!

He smiled, "How can I report them? If I annoy them, I can't even keep my student status."

He can tell his story to the other party because he believes that the other party can understand him, and he also wants to find someone to talk to.

"Then what do you do? What will you do in the future?"

"What else can I do? Of course, wait for the next art test."

"How many times have you taken the exam?"

"Not a few times."

I think it should be more than once, it should be many times.I didn't continue to ask, but said, "But this, won't you be very sad?"

I think that if I were him, I would be very sad and angry, but I am not him, I can only say one thing, now only money can have a future.

"There is sadness, but I can't eat when I'm sad. Compared with being sad, I might as well face tomorrow happily."

He smiled faintly, this smile is the most heart-warming smile I have ever seen, like a devout one.I think that whenever I feel down in the future, thinking of his smile will make me happier and less sad.

See, there are people living in more misery than you, and the emotions you endure are not considered pain.

I looked up, looked at him and said, "I believe you will have a day to show your ability."

"I think so too."

But when will that day come?When will my dream come true?No one knows, no one answers.Reality will eventually give each of us an answer, and what needs to be done is to wait for the next dawn.

I stayed at Lan Shiting's house all afternoon, listening to him say a lot about him, knowing his background and his past life.His life is very hard, his parents have both passed away, and the only person he likes has lied to him, but when he talks about this person, he does not complain or even feel sad.

"He may have difficulties, but he doesn't really want to lie to me."

I feel that it must not be what he thinks, but it is not easy to express my opinion.However, he has experienced a lot by earning money alone and growing himself to the present.I felt very depressed after hearing it, as if I didn't just listen to what he said, but could feel his helplessness and despair at that time.I think what happened to him was not something he made up, but something that actually happened to him.

It's true, it's sad, but I can't pity him.When he told me, he didn't feel dissatisfied or sad on his expression, he smiled at me shallowly, "Bai Yuanyi, don't pity me."

I looked at his pair of glorious eyes, and felt like a rainbow, colorful and shining.I shook my head and said, "I didn't pity you, but I love you."

"Take care of me more in the future."

I turned my head to look at him and asked in confusion, "How do I take care of him?"

He smiled mysteriously, but said nothing, leaving me with a riddle.I don't like to care about some details, but I care about his affairs.He is someone who makes me want to care and care.Maybe there are many people in this world who have a rough life experience like Lan Shining, but when I met him, I couldn't ignore him.

He looked at his watch, it was already dark outside, he should send the other party home.

"Yuan Yi, are your parents strict with you?"

I wondered, "What do you mean?"

He pointed to his watch, and I realized I had been with him for a long time.

"Ah, it's over." I became anxious, because I had to go home before Zhuo Luoyin, if he knew that I stayed outside for so long, he would be worried and angry, and I had to go back and hide these dishes.

I got up and took the bag to go out, but he stopped me.

"I send you."

I thought about it, nodded, and thought it would take some time for me to wait for the bus to arrive, so I felt quite at ease with him.

Lan Shining went to the small shed outside and pushed the bicycle out.He just wanted to take the belt in my hand and put it in the front basket, but I avoided his hand.

"Here, I'll take this myself." Although I knew he must have seen it then, I really didn't want him to think too much about it.

Lan Shining glanced at me and didn't ask any further questions.He pushed the car to the road outside, patted the back seat on me, "Come on, Yuan Yi."

I sat on the back seat, and when he was riding, I was frightened, so I hurriedly put my arms around his waist.He is quite thin, but not like me, only bones. At first I was afraid that he would not be able to carry me, but after seeing that he was riding smoothly, I was relieved.The wind whizzed past my ears, it was a little itchy, but it was very cool. Today's sunset is very beautiful, and I am fascinated by it.

When he rode to the terminus, I felt that time passed so fast, and I arrived here before I knew it. It seemed that I was going to say goodbye to Lan Shiting.

I jumped out of the car and smiled at him, "Thank you for taking me home."

He also smiled, "It's okay."

The two of us looked at each other, and the atmosphere lingering between him and me was a bit strange, not ambiguous, but an indescribable feeling.

"Then I'll go first."

"Ah."

I hugged the bag tightly and walked in the direction of the villa area. I couldn't help turning around, but he was still where he was.I don't know if I lost my soul, but I came to him again, hesitated and asked, "What's your phone number?"

He had a strange expression, "I don't have a phone."

"No way? How can I contact you in the future?"

"I can come here to find you."

"No, you can't come here to find me." I shook my head, he absolutely can't come here, if Zhuo Luoyin knows, he will definitely be unhappy, maybe he will drive me away, then I won't be able to see Yuyue water.

"Why?" He wondered what the other party was afraid of, and swept the bag in the other party's arms. The plate he saw on the bus before, could the other party be...

"I live in someone else's house temporarily. If you come to me, he may say me."

He also knew that he shouldn't ask, but he still asked, "Who is he?"

"...my good friend."

When Lan Shining heard it, she felt a little uncomfortable. The other party won't be bullied by that person, right?

"If that's the case, then I'd better not bother you, so as not to cause trouble to you."

I know that he wants to make friends with me, and I am happy and happy, but I have a lot of troubles, and it shouldn't be a problem if I get in touch with him more.

I pursed my lips, took out the phone from my bag and gave it to him, "You can use my phone in the future, so that we can communicate."

"Give me your phone, what about you?"

He had to say that he was a little touched, did the other party want to make friends with him?To be friends with a poor man like him?

"I still have one." In fact, I lied, but I think it's worth it to have the opportunity to contact him in the future.

He scratched his head, "Is this okay?"

"What's wrong? You're my friend."

The friend the other party mentioned made him very happy. It turns out that it feels warm to be cared about.

"Yuan Yi, we've only really known each other for a day." He reminded the other party that it's easy for the other party to be deceived like this.

"A friend for a day is also a friend." I don't mind the length of time, I think the definition of a friend is very broad, and there is no need to think about it.

Lan Shining couldn't help laughing, stretched out his hand and rubbed my head, he rubbed my head a little hard, unlike Zhuo Luoyin's gentle rubbing, this is probably a way for him to show his friendship.

"Well, my only friend." No one has ever wanted to be friends with him, he has been alone, and it is his luck to meet him.

"only?"

"Well, unique."

After he said that, he smiled happily, as if he regarded me as his star, maybe I was wrong, how could I be his star, I can't even shine.

"Then, I'm really gone, and I will contact you later."

"Ok, I will wait for you."

I smiled and waved to him, this time I didn't look back, I think he should be watching me leave.