There is a kind of love you know

My dad came back very early that night. This time he didn't drink, but bought me some delicious food. He looked very happy.

It was the first time I saw him smile so happily, but my mother still treated my father coldly, and my father didn't lose his temper.

When my dad handed me the delicious food, I was a little surprised, but I still took it and went back to the room in silence.

For those delicious things, I always feel that there is a bit strange there, but I can't tell where it is strange, so I stopped thinking about it and started to do my homework peacefully.

The third year of senior high school is very heavy. I can't study with peace of mind. I don't know what kind of future I want?I am bleak about my future, and the only thing left is a habit of learning.

"Yonqi, come out for dinner." My dad called out from the door, and I put down my pen and went out.

When I came to the dining table, looking at my mother's still indifferent face, I just ate quietly, but my father brought me food, which made me feel inexplicably that he was guilty of beating me yesterday.

But he has beaten me for many years, so how could he make up for it now?Apart from being silent, I really don't know what to say in this family.

I only ate the rice in the bowl and the vegetables in my dad's folder, and I didn't eat it.

"I've finished eating, let's go back to the room first." I said softly, got up and walked to the room.

I only feel depressed when I stay with them. This kind of atmosphere has continued since I was sensible, and I don't know when it will end?Or keep going.

When I returned to the room, I did nothing but do my homework.

I used to cry and make trouble, but growing up has made me forget what is crying and what is laughing, and I can only face life numbly.

Maybe, someday I'll pity myself, but there's nothing I can do right now.

If only I hadn't been born, then I wouldn't have to face this cruel world.

I was a little sleepy while I was writing, lying on the table, I didn't think about anything, just indulged my nerves like that.

If dreams could solve everything, then people wouldn't have to worry about it.

I fell asleep with mixed feelings.

The night was not very long, and it passed without knowing it.

When I woke up the next morning, my neck hurt when I moved, probably from a stiff neck.

Apart from the pain in my body, I don't have any heavy heart.

I really want to be optimistic, but now I really can't do it, even if I want to show a smile, I find it difficult.

After putting it away, I went out, forgetting that I should have breakfast at my age, but no one in my family has ever made breakfast, so I forgot that there is such a thing as breakfast.

It is estimated that every day in the future, I will just take the bus to go to class, and I have to do this until I am in good health.

Should I hate my dad?

I have thought about this question many times, but there is no answer. After all, he is the one who raised me, and hating him is also hating myself.

But if he hadn't hit me, I probably wouldn't have become what I am now. My gloomy personality doesn't belong to me at all, but it's stuck on me all the time, and I can't break free.

If there is no Xu Jinyi in the school, my life may really become completely dark, but with him, there is always some light.

I look forward to seeing him every day, but dread seeing him because it will remind me that after this semester, we will go our separate ways.

What is a senior year?For the days of sprinting for the future, what future do I have?

The next two-mode exam is another difficulty, pushing us step by step towards the avenue of growth.

I'm not very good at studying. I was in the tenth bottom of our class in the first exam last time. I don't know what it will be like for the second exam this time.

I don't look forward to the exam, but I can't prevent the exam from coming.

It's just that when I knew that this exam was interleaved with Class Four, I suddenly looked forward to it again.

Divided into two examination rooms, then I have a [-]/[-] probability of being in the same examination room as Xu Jinyi, can I be unhappy?

In this way, I went to take the second model exam with anticipation.

On the night before the exam, I kept praying to God that Xu Jinyi and I would be assigned to the same exam room, and I didn't pay attention to the recent changes in our family.

Maybe for me, whatever the home becomes is the same...

I arrived in the class early the next day, mainly because I was taking the exam in the class and was not sorted out.

I looked at the students who came one after another. They all took the time to review before the exam seriously, but I was not in the mood and couldn't get in the review.

I didn't have the heart to review until the teacher asked the students who took the exam in Class [-] to go to Class [-]. Before there were many people, I didn't want to review for no reason.

Sure enough, humans are fickle creatures.

People from Class [-] began to enter our class, and my heart started beating irregularly inexplicably. I stared at the door and looked forward to it.

It's a pity that everyone came in, and I didn't see Xu Jinyi, maybe he wasn't in our class for the exam.

Just when I was feeling down, Xu Jinyi walked in, scanned around our class, and turned his gaze to my side, my heart beat quickened again.

Suddenly realized that there was an empty seat next to him, the one who couldn't do it was Xu Jinyi, right?

Carrying his bag, Xu Jinyi came to sit next to me, and my heart almost jumped out of my beating.

Sitting in front of Xu Jinyi was a boy, who immediately patted Xu Jinyi on the shoulder and said ambiguously, "Going to send your girlfriend off again?"

Xu Jinyi smiled, did not answer, took out the book in the bag and read it.

When I heard the three words "girlfriend", my heart couldn't help but ache, that's right... How could someone like Xu Jinyi not have a girlfriend?

I felt a little sad, and I didn't even notice that the invigilator came.

I was still in a daze until the paper was handed out.

"Student?" A pair of hands shook in front of me, and then I came back to my senses, and found that it was Xu Jinyi who was calling me, and I didn't react for a while.

"... Is there... anything?" I stuttered a little, mainly because I didn't expect Xu Jinyi to talk to me, and I was already very happy that he could sit next to me for the exam.

"Can you lend me a black pen? I'm out of ink." Xu Jinyi said in a low voice, mainly because he realized that it's not easy to ask the students in the same class in front of him to borrow a pen. too big.

I immediately understood and took a pen from the pen case and handed it to him, and he said softly, "Thank you."

My heartbeat was out of whack and I couldn't get it back again.

Seeing the papers on the table, I glanced at Xu Jinyi who was seriously starting to make the papers, and also started to make the papers in my hand.

The Chinese test is easy and simple, but difficult and difficult, especially for the big homework question, I lose a lot of points every time.

Conceiving the content of this composition, I glanced at Xu Jinyi, who had already written half of the composition. I saw that others were already writing, and I was a little anxious. I thought I was writing too slowly, so I started to make up composition.

At the end of the compilation, I felt that the topic was off topic, so I finished the composition. It happened that there were still 5 minutes to hand in the paper, so I was in time.

I didn't dare to look at Xu Jinyi, so I kept staring at the paper on my desk until the bell rang and the teacher closed the paper, and my nervous heart calmed down a little.

"Thank you." Xu Jinyi returned the pen to me, with a faint smile on the corner of his mouth, forcing my heart to keep beating.

"No..." Before I finished speaking, several classmates from his class surrounded Xu Jinyi, chatting and laughing.

My "it's okay" fell silent.

Xu Jinyi casually packed his schoolbag and left with his classmates, and if I want to meet him again, I guess I have to wait until the afternoon exam.

I silently picked up the pen that Xu Jinyi had used, without any thought, only thinking that if we met on the street one day in the future, we would be just passers-by.

In the afternoon exam, Xu Jinyi didn't say a word to me, that's right, he doesn't know me, so how could he talk to me.

I am just a passer-by in his life, how could he put his extra attention on me, isn't that my delusion?

But in my heart, Xu Jinyi is not a passer-by in my life, he left me a beautiful scenery.

In the next two days of the exam, I took the exam with an inexplicable feeling of discomfort.

Xu Jinyi looked very relaxed after every exam, and my irritability was obviously in contrast to him.

After the two-model exam this time, he and I didn't have any intersection again.