There is a kind of love you know

I actually met Xu Jinyi outside for the first time on the day before the college entrance examination.

He and his girlfriend seemed to be going to the library to review, and I happened to be out for a walk in the morning.

Standing in the distance and looking at their holding hands, I suddenly envied that girl so much, it must be good to be liked by Xu Jinyi.

I followed them. Although I didn't know what they were talking about, I felt happy for them when I saw their smiling faces.

They walked all the way, and I followed them from a distance until they entered the library and found a place to sit and review, and I also went to a book corner to watch them.

Xu Jinyi, is there anyone who likes you silently like me?

Do you know that there is such a me who silently likes you?

Did I really have a luxury?

I mourn my life, but I can't change it.

That day I watched Xu Jinyi and his girlfriend from a distance for a day.

I went to the college entrance examination the next day, but I did the papers I handed out randomly.

If fate has arranged my next life, then what else should I fight for?It doesn't make any sense anymore.

Walking out of the examination room and looking at the parents who are waiting for their children, I feel really happy for them. There are some parents who love themselves.

And I don't have anything...maybe I used to have it, but I don't have it now.

On the day when the last subject of the college entrance examination was over, I saw many people looking heavy and others looking relaxed. Everyone had their own feelings about the end of the college entrance examination, but I just felt tired.

Why am I tired when I haven't done anything?I can't figure it out.

Going back to evaluate the score, many students were full of melancholy, and the parents around them also had solemn expressions.

I felt a little sad for them when I saw it. Fortunately, I don't have parents, otherwise I would definitely disappoint them.

The teacher in charge didn't say anything about me this time, but just looked at me with that clear expression.

I don't understand why the class teacher hates me since I entered this class?Am I that annoying?

I kept silent, anyway, I wouldn't know if she didn't tell me the reason.

The day the graduation photo was taken happened to be the day my dad and Aunt Luo got married, so I didn’t have to attend their wedding, so that would be embarrassing enough.

Standing politely to take graduation photos, I suddenly felt that I should actually smile, otherwise I would not be able to smile in the future.

The moment the cameraman pressed the shutter, I showed my first smile in three years of high school.

I didn't go to watch our classmates give gifts to each other, but I wanted to find a quiet place to stand, so I came to stand under a tree, so that the sun would not shine on me.

Not far away, a group of boys were playing around, and I saw that the man in the middle was Xu Jinyi. This might be the last time I saw him, and I'm afraid it would be difficult to see him again in the future.

I thought, shaking my head, maybe they will meet, but the probability is too small.

"Wei Yuqi!"

I don't know who is calling my name. I looked around and saw a boy I didn't know standing on the lawn not far away with a red face. He looked in that direction.

But what I didn't notice was that Xu Jinyi and his good buddies were also looking this way.

I also looked at him with some doubts, this person should be unknown to me.

"Is there something wrong?" I haven't spoken for several days, so I realized that my voice is hoarse.

The boy looked at me blushing, hesitated for a moment, came over and hugged me, and whispered in my ear, "I like you."

I was so shocked that I froze in place, and I didn't come back to my senses until whistles sounded around me, but the other party had already let go of me, but his face was flushed.

"I... I have liked you for three years. Whether you feel disgusted or not, I want to tell you." The boy looked at me with sincere eyes, and repeated the previous sentence in a moderate voice, but this Once he spoke very steadily.

"Wei Yuqi, I like you!"

I looked at this boy, and I didn't have any impression at all, but I was still very grateful that someone had paid attention to him.

"Thank you, it's not...disgusting." How could I tell him that I'm actually gay?Anyway, I won't see you in the future, so don't worry about it.

The boy smiled when he heard my answer. The smile is so eye-catching. I also hope that I have such a smile that day, but unfortunately I am afraid that I will not be able to do it in this life.

The boy's confession was beyond my expectation. I never thought that anyone would care about him. Now it seems that I just don't know it.

I looked up at the sun today, it wasn't too harsh, but it still made me sick.

I was holding a necklace, which was a birthday gift I wanted to give to Xu Jinyi a long time ago, but at that time I was too shy, so I could only silently like him.Now everyone is going to go their separate ways, and there will be nothing wrong with sending it out.

When I came to the door of the fourth class, I was just about to knock on the door and go in when I heard voices from inside, and my hands froze there.

"Xu Jinyi, I like you." It was a boy's voice, very soft, but I still recognized it.

"I'm sorry, I can't accept your gift." Xu Jinyi's impatient voice sounded from inside, and my heart tightened inexplicably.

"It's just... a gift, why... can't I accept it..." The boy cried a little, and I couldn't help but look at the necklace box in my hand, regretting that I came at this time.

There was a moment of silence inside, and then I heard Xu Jinyi say in an extremely cold voice, "I think homosexuality is disgusting."

One sentence beat me to pieces. Even though the sentence was not directed at me, it was like a death sentence for me when it came out of Xu Jinyi's mouth.

My heart felt like it was being torn apart, and the pain made me want to cry, but there were no tears to shed.

I clenched the necklace tightly and left silently. No words were more deadly than Xu Jinyi's words.

I didn't go home, I didn't go home all night, I spent the night on a park chair.

The cost of sleeping on the streets like this was that I got a bad cold.

I don't live in that house anymore, but in the house my dad rented for me.

My cold directly caused a fever. At that time, I thought it would be fine if I burned to death.

But the miracle is that my fever subsided naturally. It was a difficult night for me, and I also spent it alone.

It is certain that I did not go to university. I didn't have much thought about it. It was only when I was looking for a job that I realized that this society is not easy at all.

When I go to work for others, I still have to look at other people's faces, and if I don't do well, my salary will be deducted. I have to face a lot, which is beyond my expectation.

The most ridiculous thing is that my parents didn't give me living expenses. They were just talking about it at that time, so how could they do it?

In fact, I know them very well, how could I not know?

I said that on purpose at that time, since they didn't want my burden, I didn't force them either.

People in this society are cold-blooded, how many people are truly kind?

I don't blame them, I just blame myself for thinking that this world is beautiful, but in fact it is too cruel.