PS. 1437

六

I didn't get up until noon the next day, and of course Xiaojie was not at home.

I ate Chinese food alone and thought I had adjusted to life "without a mother", but I was wrong.

It seems that since my mother got sick, our pace of life has been rushing. We are busy running around the school, hospital, and home. After my mother passed away, another busy life began. Although everything has etiquette, it makes people feel tired. Yes, it is psychological pressure.

When it's all over and quiet, I really don't know how I'm getting through these days... Maybe that's what The Walking Dead is all about.

The self-righteous and fulfilling rush is now a sense of loss.

I can't seem to find myself.What am I trying to do?Do you want to go abroad?What should I study abroad?I really don't know.

When my mother was still there, I would sometimes tell her what I learned today after returning home from get out of class, about school, about people, about psychology, about me, everything.

If Xiaojie is at home, he will join our conversation.When he went to college, the homework of the medical school gradually became busy, and it was really just me and my mother left.

Sometimes my mother will tell me about her work, her colleagues, bosses, friends, and sometimes we will start to "analyze" those people who we think are counselors. During that time, I was really happy.

Mom would always ask me to be a real counselor one day, and I would say yes with a smile, and then ask her to bring all her colleagues and friends from the market to be my cases.

At that time, I seriously wanted to be a counselor.what about now?

It seems that those dreams have disappeared silently.

Where do I go to get them back?Who else can I share with?

Mom, I really miss you.

I sat on the sofa alone, letting the time pass by, tears flowed and dried, dried and flowed again.Hidden emotions that always engulf me when I'm alone.

Watching the clock on the wall ticking to four o'clock, I started to prepare to go out.I haven't forgotten my five o'clock appointment with the teacher.

At 55:[-], I stood at the door of the teacher's research room. It seems that every time I come here, I will be inexplicably nervous, probably because I am afraid of losing my composure in front of the person I like.

I knocked on the door and entered the research room. The teacher was talking on the phone, and she motioned me to sit down with her eyes.

I sat on her couch, wondering who she was talking to on the phone, who was taking the time she had with me that was supposed to be mine... I suddenly found myself jealous.

this is not right.I tried my best to tell myself that she was a teacher and I shouldn't be jealous, but I couldn't stop the guessing in my head.Who the hell is that?

"Sorry for keeping you waiting." The teacher finally put down the phone and said, looking at me.

"Oh, it's okay." I said duplicity.

"But maybe you have to wait a little longer. The head of the department is looking for me. I'll go over there. You can take care of yourself first, and you can use the computer if you want. I won't be there for long." After the teacher finished speaking, he stood up and took the key. He went out and locked the door.

lock the door? !I was taken aback by the teacher's action.Why lock the door?It's a habit.

I obediently sat on the sofa and waited.

I took out my mobile phone and sent a text message asking Xiaojie when he will be home today.

Then I took out the novel I bought before but had no time to read, and waited for the teacher to come back while reading it.

In the end, I actually fell asleep, and I didn't even notice when the teacher came back.

I don't know how long it took, I woke up and found that I was covered with a coat with a faint fragrance on it, which was the teacher's perfume.

I saw the teacher busy in front of the computer.

"Are you awake?" The teacher saw that I was awake.

"Uh... sorry I fell asleep." I said embarrassedly.

"It's okay, are you tired these days?" The teacher looked away from the screen and looked at me.

"Well, why didn't the teacher call me when he came back, it wasted the teacher's time again." I said apologetically.

"Even the sound of opening the door won't wake you up, so I just want to say forget it, anyway, I'll be fine later, so I'll let you sleep." The teacher said relaxedly.

"Oh, sorry," I said again.

"Stop saying sorry, you really love saying sorry." The teacher complained.

"Oh..." I didn't know what to say.

"By the way, Xiaojie called just now. I think he answered it for you." The teacher said looking at my mobile phone on the coffee table.

"Oh, thank you teacher," I said.

"He said he won't be home early today, so you don't have to wait for him, go to bed first." The teacher told me what Xiaojie said.

"Oh..." I was a little lonely.

"What's wrong?" The teacher noticed my loneliness, I really can't escape her eyes.

"It's nothing... What did the teacher want to say to me?" I tried my best to hide my loneliness, forced a smile, looked at the teacher and asked.

The teacher did not speak, left his seat, walked to me and sat down.

"Can I be your friend?" The teacher suddenly looked at me and said so.

"Huh?" I looked at the teacher suspiciously.

"I always feel that you always deliberately keep a distance from me and only treat me as a teacher." I don't understand why the teacher said this to me.

I looked at her, not knowing what to pick up.

"Can't I be your friend? The kind that keeps you out of sight?" the teacher continued.

"Why? Why does the teacher treat a student so well?" I expressed my doubts.

"As I said, you are a very special student to me." The mysterious smile appeared on the teacher's face again.

"But I think teachers get gossiped for being too nice to students. I don't like that feeling." I honestly said.

"What gossip was being said?" the teacher asked. I wondered if she really didn't understand or pretended not to understand.

"Just... because I want to look better at the grades, so I approach the teacher or something." I said.

"Hahaha! You are really cute." The teacher said with a big laugh.

"Haven't you met the teacher?" I asked instead.

"I really haven't heard a student say that to me." The teacher said with a smile.

"Oh, yes." I didn't know what to say again.

"So, are you rejecting me?" the teacher asked suddenly.

"No... I don't..." I was at a loss as to what to do.

"That's a promise." The teacher took the opportunity to draw conclusions by himself.

"Oh..." I was really fooled.

"Okay, then let's go eat!" The teacher completely ignored my reaction and started to collect things on his own.

"Well... can I ask the teacher a question? It has nothing to do with the class." I said bravely.

"Ask, I thought you would never take the initiative to ask me about me." The teacher said, still not stopping to collect things.

"Teacher... don't you have a boyfriend?" I asked.

"Why did you ask this suddenly?" The teacher paused for a second, then resumed.

"I just feel that the teacher spends too much time on me." I said, but it was against my will.

"Haha! I'm the only one in our family in Taiwan, and I have an older brother in the UK, and my parents and sister live in Australia. As for boyfriends... I'm past the age to have boyfriends, and I even have children !" The teacher spoke a little faster than usual, I'm not sure if I feel right, I always feel that changing the teacher this time is forcing a smile.

"You're lying?! Teacher, do you have a child?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes, otherwise how old do you think I am?" the teacher asked.

"Probably, I'm only in my early thirties." I said honestly.

"You, your mouth is so sweet. I'm almost forty, and my son is 20 years old this year." What the teacher said shocked me, and I could only look at her blankly.

"Liar! How is that possible? This is incredible." I looked at her with wide eyes.

"Wow! This is the first time I see you have such a big reaction! Usually you are cold." The teacher did not forget to entertain me.

"That, that... Teacher, where is your son? You don't have to worry about him? And what about your husband?" I had a bunch of questions in my head, and I didn't know which one to ask first.

But in fact, I am a little sad, a big sad.The teacher is married.

"Let me tell you, I am alone in Taiwan, and my son and his father are in the United States. I was divorced ten years ago." The teacher's tone was as relaxed as if he was talking about something that had nothing to do with him.

"May I know why?" Curiosity overcame some polite and rational concerns, and I asked without any concealment.

"There's nothing wrong with it, but can we talk while eating? I'm so hungry." The teacher asked, and I realized it was past seven o'clock.

"Oh, why every time I'm with the teacher, it must have something to do with eating." I unknowingly relaxed.

Is it because I heard that the teacher got divorced and is now single?

"Then let's go to the night market today, let's go." The teacher quickly moved to the door of the laboratory, waiting for me to go out.

Just like that, I called 911 "again" and went out with the teacher again.

But this is the first time, we didn't go to the restaurant to eat, but to the crowded night market.

"Turn around, I want to change clothes, no peeking." The teacher said after parking the car.

I obeyed obediently, but actually wanted to sneak a glance back.In the end, it was still very tacky.

The teacher put on jeans and flat shoes, and changed from glamorous to peaceful. I found that I was about the same height as the teacher, maybe a little taller than the teacher, but she usually wears high heels.

I'm not a person who likes to be lively, and naturally I rarely go to night markets. The crowds in night markets make me uncomfortable.

"Be careful, don't get lost." When I was busy dodging people appearing from all directions, the teacher suddenly turned around and said this, and then took my hand.

In an instant, the feeling of being visited by the store reappeared.

The teacher's hands are warm, and that kind of warmth has been passed from the palm to the heart.

I think I'll start to like crowded places if it's with teachers.

We shuttled among the crowd, and the teacher seemed to know everything about this place, and took me around to eat every stall of her favorite food. The teacher's appetite surprised me.

This is the second important finding of the day.

"Huh! I'm so full!" After we ate an unknown amount of food, the teacher was finally full.

"How can the teacher not get fat?" Long before the teacher was full, I was already full.

"I don't know either, ha ha!" The teacher said with a smile.

"That's great," I said.

"Let's go, I'll take you to a place." After the teacher finished speaking, he led me to move to the next place.

We gradually walked away from the crowd, but the teacher still did not let go of my hand, so I just let the teacher hold and walk.Finally we sat down by the embankment.

"A lot of stars!" Maybe it's because the light pollution on the embankment is less, I couldn't help blurting out when I looked up and saw the stars in the sky.

"Well. My ex-husband proposed to me here." The teacher said.

I turned my head and looked at the teacher sitting next to me in astonishment.

The teacher smiled, sighed, and started telling me her story.

"I met him when I was 16. I was a freshman in high school. He was a new trainee teacher in our school, teaching English, and then happened to be the trainee tutor of our class. He had just graduated from college. He was very handsome, and immediately became all the girls in the school. My dream lover, the boy’s rival in love. I can hear my classmates talking about him after every class. But I am not interested in him. At that time, my first love had just passed away for half a year. But this is not what I want to tell you today In the story you are telling, please don’t ask, okay?” The teacher spoke slowly, and then looked at me.

I nodded and waited for her to continue.

"His one-semester internship is over soon. I still remember that he gave each of our class a small card and a piece of chocolate on the last day of internship. Girls' class, everyone is so happy , but I still didn’t feel anything, I just felt that he is a good teacher. But when I opened the card he gave me, I was stunned. He wrote: If you are not a teacher, I can chase you, right?” Teacher When talking, his eyes always look into the distance, as if caught in his own memories.

"I didn't take it seriously at first, thinking he was just joking, and at that time, I hadn't come out of the shadow of my first love's death, so after reading it, I put it away. Later I found out that he was serious. And His seriousness is not the seriousness of falling in love, but the seriousness of wanting to marry me. At the beginning, I resisted his pursuit, because I still couldn't forget that person in my heart, and I told him clearly, The person I love passed away half a year ago. It is impossible for me to forget him so quickly. When I talk about the next relationship, I use these words to hope that he will retreat, but after listening to it, he just smiled and said that he will help I forgot that person and found love again. Maybe it was because I was young at that time, my heart was very fragile, and I was very easily shaken. He chased me for half a year, and then I accepted him. His parents liked me very much, and my parents also loved me. I thought he was good, so that’s it, a year later he proposed to me here, and I agreed. We got married as soon as I graduated from high school. Isn’t it dramatic?” There was a smile on the teacher’s face that I didn’t understand, it was have no choice?Satire?still?

"I was in such a hurry to get married because his parents wanted him to go back to the US to study. He is an ABC, and he wanted me to go with him. His family is good, and it is not a problem for two people to study abroad. That's how we got married. , went abroad together, I didn’t expect that I would have a baby in the second year, and I was only 19 years old at that time. He was very good to me and thought of everything for me. I think at that time, I really loved him, and I really loved him Happiness." The teacher's smile at this time, I believe it is happiness.

"And what happened next?" I asked.

"Later, after the child was three years old and my parents-in-law moved to the United States, I went back to school and successfully completed my master's degree. I studied English and American literature. My husband, no, it was my ex-husband at that time. I changed my mind to marketing. When I finished my master's degree, he just got his doctorate. After that, he found a job in a good corporate company. I wanted to take a break before considering whether to continue my doctorate. So I stayed at home Been a full-time housewife for a while. Two years later, I applied for a PhD, and at that point, I knew he was having an affair, but I didn't poke it until I got an offer from East Coast School That day, I asked him to go home early, and I calmly told the story in front of the whole family. Everyone was shocked, including the ten-year-old son. The parents-in-law began to scold him, and the son did not understand him. , I stopped them, I just said, I want to divorce, I can't accept such a broken relationship, I'm not magnanimous enough to forgive him, and I can't pretend that nothing happened, I just hope that we can get together and break up. Of course, He kept me, my father-in-law and my mother-in-law also kept me, and my son didn't want us to divorce, but I was determined, I couldn't accept a little bit of betrayal, I didn't want anything, no money, no house, no car, even I was willing My son followed them. Nothing they said could change my decision. In the end, they could only agree, and only one condition was asked by my parents-in-law, which was an alimony of [-] US dollars a month. It was nothing to me, so I accepted it. In this way, I ended my ten-year marriage and flew to the east coast to study alone. Five years later, I graduated and found a job in Taiwan smoothly. In this way, I returned to Taiwan. When I arrive in Taiwan, I will be a university teacher.” The teacher finished the rest in one breath.

"Oh... why is the teacher willing to tell me this?" I asked after listening.

"Because you answered me all the things I asked you before." The teacher took it for granted.

"That's right." I was dumbfounded after hearing this answer.

"Otherwise?" the teacher asked back.

"No, I'm just afraid that asking so many questions will make the teacher uncomfortable." I said.

"Oh, you really think a lot! But this way you will know my age, so you can't tell it, or I will pawn you off." The teacher said threateningly, but I knew she was joking.

"I won't say it." I replied seriously.

"I know you won't, so I will tell you." The teacher said as he stood up.

A gust of wind blew, and the teacher's hair was flying with the wind. I looked up at the teacher, and suddenly felt that the teacher looked so lonely, which made me want to hug her.

"Let's go, let's go home." The teacher turned around and stretched out his hand. I was obediently pulled up from the ground by the teacher.

I don't know if my question made the teacher fall into the world of memories, we didn't talk all the way.

Soon, the car stopped downstairs at my house again.

"Thank you, teacher. Is teacher coming up?" I asked sincerely this time.

"Another day, you go to bed earlier." The teacher said with a smile.

"Okay, so is the teacher, drive home carefully, and go to bed early." I opened the door and got out of the car.

"Do you know why I am so nice to you?" the teacher suddenly lowered the window and asked.

I shook my head.

"Because, you always take good care of yourself, so good that it makes people feel distressed." The teacher said.

I looked at the teacher stupidly, not knowing what to say.

"Okay, let's go upstairs quickly, break it." After the teacher finished speaking, he raised the window and left.

When I got home, Xiaojie hadn't come back yet.

After I finished taking a shower, Xiaojie came in with a snack.

"Sister, are you still asleep?" He said looking at the clock whose hour and minute hands overlapped.

"Not yet, I just came back not long ago," I said.

"Are you going out with the teacher again?" he said with a malicious smile.

I told him what happened when I went out with the teacher today.

"The teacher thinks he likes you too." He said after listening.

"You think too much." I said as I picked up a piece of his stinky tofu.

"Otherwise, how could a teacher be so frank with his students?" He asked me back.

"She said it was because she asked me before, and I told you all." I replied unconvinced.

"I think the teacher likes you!" He insisted on his conclusion.

"Whatever you say." I didn't bother to talk to him.

"But she shouldn't reject the teacher-student relationship, after all, it should be considered a teacher-student relationship, right?" he said suddenly.

"Why do you say that?" I asked him with blank eyes.

"No, I thought of saying something." He walked back to the computer and got busy on his own.

With a messy head, I went back to the room.

Is what Xiaojie said true?Does the teacher really like me too?Why does she keep saying I'm a "very special" student?What's so special about it?If I let the teacher know that I like her, will she still treat me so well?

A series of questions, without any answers, I fell on the bed and looked at the ceiling, thinking about what happened today, and suddenly felt that there are so many things to think about in my life. Is this considered "variety"?

Suddenly my cell phone rang, it was a text message, or from the teacher.

"Trish, wedidn't talk about what we should talk about today, so please come tomorrow, sametime. Thanks. And sleep early. (We didn't talk about business today, please come again at the same time tomorrow. Sleep early.)"

I looked at the text message from the teacher and was fascinated. When I came back to my senses, I found myself giggling.

Because I can see the teacher again tomorrow!And she also directly used Trish instead of Patricia, does this mean that our relationship has taken a step forward?

I decided to give up the idea of ​​"keeping a distance" from the teacher. Since the teacher is willing to approach me, why should I insist?

If something does happen, let's wait until it happens.

I walked out of the room, showed Xiaojie the text message, and told him my decision just now.

"Oh, you finally figured it out, I thought you were going to keep going on the horns!" he said after listening.

"Jack, can't you say something nice?" I glared at him.

"Yes, yes, then I wish you two get together soon!" He said deliberately.

"Isn't it like this? We'll be together as soon as possible!" I said.

"Otherwise? Didn't you decide to try to be with the teacher?" He asked me.

"I just said let nature take its course. I don't think I would have the courage to confess to the teacher." I said honestly.

"Then I should change it to, I wish you the courage to confess to the teacher soon! Haha!" He laughed.

"You are really annoying! I'm going to bed, don't make it too late." After I finished speaking, I turned and walked to the room.

"Sister," he called me suddenly.

"Why?" I turned around.

"Come on!" he said with a smile.

"Got it." I went back to my room, closed the door, and went to bed.

Teacher, if I continue to interact with you like this, will you find that I like you one day?