takeaway spoof

After the old Taoist priest arrived, he checked and discussed with a few young Taoist priests. It turned out that the ghost that disappeared suddenly hid deep underground, but he still didn't know what it was that came suddenly that night.

"You said you found other ghosts that night?" the old Taoist priest asked the little Wang Taoist priest.

"Yes, the ghost energy is very weak. I only discovered it after the ghosts in the magic circle hid." Xiao Wang Daochang said while flipping through the files of the unfinished building, "Master, look, this is the person!" He pointed Looking at Zhang Ya's photo, on that page was the unlucky delivery man who was pierced by the steel bar and other employees in the store, and it was Zhang Ya that Xiao Wang Dao pointed at.

The next morning, Zhang Ya woke up feeling very tired, so he asked the boss for leave. When he woke up again in the middle of sleep, the living corpse Shen Rong in his arms had disappeared.

OK!The little ghost was captured by the big ghost...

"I made you something to eat."

Before Zhang Ya, who was immersed in the sweet dream, could react, a hoarse voice interrupted his fantasy.

No, no, that's what Zhang Ya thought when he sat at the small table and watched Shen Rong, the living corpse, serve the food. The bluish-black hands with long jet-black nails really made him lose his appetite, but the vagabond did not. He was so alive that he touched his face with his hand.

"Eat it while it's hot."

The cool feeling on his face made Zhang Ya feel a chill in his heart.

"The vegetables you bought", Zhang Ya thought for a while, his home doesn't have a refrigerator at all.

"Yeah, take the change in your wallet and go to the supermarket downstairs to buy it."

"Fuck, aren't you afraid of scaring others to death when you go out in broad daylight!"

"I brought a hat and scarf."

Zhang Ya dismissed his scarf hanging on the back of the door, he thought he couldn't have that scarf, and there was actually his leather jacket hanging beside it!

"Fuck! Still wearing my clothes!"

"Did I wash my clothes..."

When Zhang Ya saw the people sitting beside him, even the long-sleeved T-shirts inside belonged to him, he was really angry and lost his temper. Thinking of this, he took a bite of food, but his mouth was sweet, "Bah! Will it be?" Can cook!"

"Maybe it's the sugar in it. I can't taste it. Please put a label on the seasoning jar."

Zhang Ya was quite hungry, but he couldn't eat this sweet dish.

"Let me add some salt to you."

After a while, the dish turned into sweet and sour flavored diced chicken. Zhang Ya felt sorry for the money for the meat, so he ate it anyway.To be honest, this meal is really not very good, but it can still be eaten.

After he was full, Zhang Ya sat by the bed and played with his mobile phone without doing anything. The living dead man came over again and fell into his arms.

"Playing with a mobile phone won't let me live!"

"I'll just lie on my stomach and don't bother you." Sure enough, Shen Rong just lay quietly in his arms, his eyes rolled around, looking at the phone screen for a while, looking at Zhang Ya for a while, I don't know what he was thinking something.

In the afternoon, he really didn't want to eat the meal cooked by the living corpse Shen Rong, so he slipped out to eat.After he finished his meal, he ran into acquaintances at a roadside stall, and chatted while drinking beer while eating skewers. Before he knew it, the sky was a little dark.

"Come on, another bottle!"

"No, no, my stomach is bloated, I can't drink anymore..."

Zhang Ya was pushing the beer bottle when suddenly he stretched out a hand and grabbed the bottle and put it on the table.

"Fuck! Why are you again!"

"It's getting dark, I'm a little worried about you, let's go home."

"Hey, when did you make friends? Why are men getting involved now..." The friend was a little drunk.

"No, I..." Before Zhang Ya could finish his defense, Shen Rong pulled him over and kissed him.

"Okay!" My friend started applauding when he saw it, and the people next to him also started booing, "One more!"

"You guys are sick!" Zhang Ya put down a piece of RMB and pulled Shen Rong away quickly.

Not far away, there was a figure hiding in the shadow of the corner. After watching all this, he took out his mobile phone, "Hey, Fang Guanzhu, I took some photos about Zhang Ya, you can take a look when you have time."

On the other end of the phone, the old Taoist stared at the photo. Compared with Zhang Ya, his little boyfriend Shen Rong attracted more attention.

After returning back, Zhang Ya angrily threw Shen Rong onto the bed. The man didn't get angry at all, so he got into the quilt and lay down. Zhang Ya didn't know what to say. He was really shameless. With that in mind, I went to take a shower.

When Zhang Ya turned off the light, pulled off the quilt and sat down under the quilt, the tramp with a living corpse came over as usual.

"You just want to drain my energy and kill me slowly, don't you!"

Shen Rong's lips that were about to come closer stopped for a moment, and he giggled a few times, which made Zhang Ya's scalp tingle, and then he still kissed him.

"do you like me?"

"Ghosts like you..." Looking at the cloudy one-eyed Zhang Ya, he suddenly felt that something was wrong with his words, "I don't want to become a ghost..."

"En, I see." After speaking, Shen Rong finally stopped tossing, and found a comfortable position to lie down in Zhang Ya's arms.

"Wait a moment."

"What are you doing again!"

"You still said good night to me."

Zhang Ya closed his eyes and pulled Shen Rong to kiss him, "Good night."

Only now did he finally lie down peacefully, Zhang Ya sighed, covered the quilt helplessly, and fell asleep with his arms around Shen Rong.

When Zhang Ya went to deliver food the next day, in addition to Shen Rong's little tail, there was another tail behind him --- the man who peeked at him at the barbecue stall last night.

In the small hotel on the North Second Ring Road, the old Taoist chief was studying the case file of the unfinished building with the police. The incident of students jumping off the building a few days ago seemed to be exactly the same as a year ago when a dozen workers queued up to jump off the building one by one with dull expressions.The old Taoist asked to sort out the information of all relevant personnel, and the huge workload made everyone work overtime for several days.There are more than 40 people who died directly in the building plus those who died in other places for various reasons.

"Fang Guanzhu, the deaths of some people here don't seem to have anything to do with this unfinished building?"

"Whether it matters or not, you can find out if you ask the soul!"

However, after several rituals of summoning souls, not even a single soul could be recruited!

"Master, do you want to ask Yin Si to ask?"

"No need, they must all be trapped in the formation of the unfinished building," said the old Taoist, beckoning his apprentices and going to the underground parking lot with a few policemen.There are still some wandering ghosts near the building, but there is not a single ghost in the building. After careful inspection, it is found that there is a strong yin qi bubbling deep in the ground directly under the building. I don’t know what happened to those ghosts who hid in the past few days, and they still don’t want to come up.

The business of the fast food restaurant is not bad today. Except for the two traffic jams on the road, everything else is going smoothly. I didn't meet any strange customers today. The point is that I got paid today, which made Zhang Ya feel good.

"Boss, here is a bottle of Nongfu Spring." Zhang Ya rarely bought the most expensive bottled water, and casually threw it to Shen Rong in the back seat, "I'm in a good mood today, I'll reward you!"

Shen Rong in the back seat was holding the water bottle, and carefully unscrewed the cap.Zhang Ya only felt that it was a good thing that he only needed to feed him some water, which could be regarded as saving money. If he had to pay for big fish and meat, he would have thrown him out a long time ago.

"Go, go to the mall and buy you a new pair of pants!"

Zhang Ya dragged Shen Rong around in the shopping mall for a long time, the salesman following him back and forth made Zhang Ya very annoyed.

"Let's go around by ourselves!"

The salesperson finally left. Zhang Ya picked up the new jeans hanging on the side and compared them to Shen Rong. It seemed that the size should be no problem. They were much better than the old pair of gray blue jeans that had been washed whitish. You can look at the price --- 128RMB, it seems that I still underestimated the ability of physical stores to rip people off.Zhang Ya struggled with the jeans for a while, but finally put them down.

"Look, let's go back and buy one online. It's the same quality, but it's much cheaper than this one!"

"it is good."

After they left, the salesperson folded the trousers they had seen just now with a look of disgust, thinking that they couldn't even afford a pair of jeans, so they probably would go back to X Bao to buy cheap ones in a while.

Yes, that’s right, when he got home, Zhang Ya took out his mobile phone and placed an order. For the same price, he could buy a thick sweater in addition to the jeans at Xbao. He felt that he had saved himself a lot of money!He sat at the small table and threw the empty bottle on the table into the trash can at his feet.

"Hey? Why are you picking it up? You can only sell a few of them for ten cents. It's not worth it!" Seeing that Shen Rong came over and picked up the empty bottle that he had just thrown away in the trash can, Zhang Ya was very puzzled, "Next The next time you finish drinking outside, just throw it in the trash can!"

"This is a gift from you," Shen Rong raised his head and said to him solemnly.

"...", Zhang Ya stared at him in disbelief for a while, "Crazy!"

The person being scolded was not angry at all, he just leaned over and gave Zhang Ya a kiss, and then contentedly put the empty mineral water bottle into his own carton.

In the unfinished building, the cloud of Yin Qi has been shrunk underground, which is very inconvenient to deal with. How to get it up really made several Taoist priests embarrassed, and they still haven't found out what happened that night. This group of ghosts also hid deep underground in fright.

"Team Wang! Here is the information you want," a small policeman ran in.

"Okay, I see, you can go down and do your work." The police officer finished the information, turned around and handed it to Guanzhu Fang.

The old Taoist stared at Zhang Ya's little boyfriend, Shen Rong, who lived with him in Zhang Ya's profile for a long time, but the investigators didn't have a chance to take a picture of his clear face under the brim of his hat.The information on the takeaway order is also Mr. Shen, but I don't know if it is Shen Rong.And on the night of the accident, Daoist Xiao Wang also saw him at the scene, so it couldn't be a coincidence.

"Captain Wang, please send someone to keep an eye on Zhang Ya and Shen Rong." After giving the order, the old Taoist continued to study the magic circle in the basement with a few apprentices.

In the past few days, every afternoon when it was getting dark, Shen Rong would come to Zhang Ya's shop to wait for him, and then get on his small battery to accompany him to deliver food.Sometimes Zhang Ya felt that he was clingy, but in fact it was Shen Rong who was protecting him, fearing that something would happen to him when he was alone at night.

"What's wrong again! You can't come up!" Zhang Ya looked at Shen Rong who was standing beside the car in a daze, a little annoyed, what to do if the overtime customer gave a bad review, suddenly he seemed to remember something, his face changed, "It's not that, Kun..."

"No", said Shen Rongkua and put on the small battery. He was staring at the back seat just now. How could there be a ghost who dared to snatch his seat? When he got in the car, he squeezed the ghost Dead, there was a faint wailing in the air.

During the interval between deliveries, Zhang Ya stopped by to pick up the courier. The jeans and sweater he bought a few days ago arrived. He threw the courier bag to Shen Rong in the back seat, "Go back and try to see if it fits!"

"You are so kind!" A hoarse voice sounded close to Zhang Ya's ear, followed by a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Fuck! Outside! What are you doing!"

"Okay, then go home!"

"I..." Zhang Ya seemed to sense some kind of danger.

After returning to the house, Zhang Ya opened the package that Shen Rong was holding in his arms. While looking at the clothes inside, he stopped Shen Rong from picking up the courier bag, "The courier bag is so dirty! Don't pick it up! Come and try." clothing!"

The gray pullover is very suitable with the new light blue jeans, and it looks good on Shen Rong, if you don't look at his face.The man in the new clothes seemed to be a little happy with his expressionless face, he leaned over to hug Zhang Ya and kissed him.

"Fuck! Get the hell out of here!" Zhang Ya pushed the person stuck to him with a look of disgust, but his struggle did not have any effect.

"Thank you..." Shen Rong hugged Zhang Ya and buried his face in his chest. Zhang Ya had no choice but to hug the person in his arms as if appointed. He lowered his head and kissed the tied man. With his head covered in bandages, there was a little tenderness in his eyes that he didn't realize.Hugging like this, Zhang Ya suddenly thought, anyway, this living corpse doesn't feel cold, why should I spend money to buy clothes for him! ?Lost loss!

"Okay, okay! Get up, I'm going to wash my face and brush my teeth!"

Shen Rong sat by the bed and obediently waited for him to come out of the bathroom, then carefully took off the new clothes, folded them neatly and put them on the table, then got under the covers and fell into Zhang Ya's arms.Zhang Ya let him lie on his body as usual, he read a newly bought novel by the bedside lamp, turned off the bedside lamp when he was sleepy, huddled under the quilt, hugged Shen Rong and closed his eyes.

The other little tail that followed Zhang Ya today is still there. Wait until he follows Zhang Ya downstairs to see them go upstairs, and wait until the lights in Zhang Ya’s small rental house go dark. Out of the phone, "Hello, Fang Guanzhu? They have turned off the lights, do you want to come over?"

"Very well, we will be there soon, little comrade, you have worked hard!"

In the room, Zhang Ya gradually fell asleep with Shen Rong in his arms, completely unaware that the old Taoist priest had suspected the two of them long ago, especially that Shen Rong, who was filled with ghostly aura, did not look like a living person.

When Zhang Ya was fast asleep, a small van drove to the corner downstairs, and a few Taoist priests and policemen came out, and the old Taoist priest led a group of people tiptoe upstairs.

"You guys control Zhang Ya in a while, and we'll deal with the other one!" The old Taoist made arrangements while walking, "Take all the talisman papers that were distributed to everyone just now!"

Three Taoist priests and two policemen were all ready to leave at the door of Zhang Ya's rental house. A policeman unlocked the old-fashioned anti-theft door, and the group was about to enter.

As soon as he entered the door, the old Taoist sprinkled a handful of talisman papers. Sensing a movement, Shen Rong sat up from Zhang Ya's arms in a daze, and looked at the pieces of paper falling in front of him very puzzled.The police officer who followed turned on the ceiling light in the room, and the situation in the room became clear immediately.

When the old Taoist saw Shen Rong's frightening appearance, he immediately became more determined that there was something wrong with him, "Catch him without a fight!"

"Hey, what are you doing!" Zhang Ya was startled awake by the old Taoist's roar. When he opened his eyes, he saw two black guns pointing at him, and three Taoist priests were also staring at him. , probably staring at Shen Rong, Zhang Ya hastily lifted the quilt and covered Shen Rong's head.

"Don't move!" The two policemen shook their heads.

Zhang Ya raised his hands obediently, and let two police officers put handcuffs on him, "What's the matter? Why did I break the law by delivering a takeaway..." Before he finished speaking, the old man The Taoist stabbed at him with a mahogany sword, Shen Rong dodged, and the point of the sword pierced Zhang Ya's face, "It's reasonable! This quilt was newly bought last year! Be careful... Oops, I was wrong!" Before he finished complaining, Zhang Ya's face was pressed hard into the bed by a policeman, which made him feel a little out of breath. In the chaos, he only heard the sound of fighting inside the room. There was also the sound of something falling to the ground, and Zhang Ya, a delivery guy who paid three yuan for a takeaway order, felt extremely distressed.

Just as the police officer relaxed, Zhang Ya had no time to lick his face from the bed. When he looked up, he saw the Taoist priests holding a bunch of other things besides the mahogany sword, and they were about to greet Shen Rong. A police officer at the back was still holding a gun, ready to shoot at any time.

Zhang Ya suddenly exerted force and bumped into the policeman behind him. The policeman in front aimed at Shen Rong with a gun was distracted, causing Shen Rong to jump out of the window. One shot, but only shattered a piece of glass.

Everyone in the room was confused by Shen Rong's operation of jumping out of the window. This is the fourth floor!Zhang Ya also struggled to get to the window, and saw a police officer downstairs chasing a thin figure wrapped in white bandages, the figure flashed a few times, then jumped into the darkness and disappeared.

"Hey!" The old Taoist clapped his hands and sighed, "It's better to let him run away. After all, I was a little hasty!"

Zhang Ya shrank back, the old Taoist priest suddenly turned his head, "Tie him up!"

"I... what kind of enmity is this!"

"Sir, please cooperate with our work." In the end, Zhang Ya was invited to the police station as a guest.

In the interrogation room, Zhang Ya was staring at the two people opposite, and at the end was a man in a suit sitting in the corner.

"I'm saving your life!" The old Taoist also stared at Zhang Ya.

"Daoist, are you mistaken? It was a friend of mine who came to stay for a while. He looked a little weird because he was injured and sick..."

"Crack!" The old Taoist slapped the table, "I think you are really brave, daring to live with a 'dead man'!"

"I......"

"Please cooperate with our investigation. Covering up and harboring a murderer will result in imprisonment." The police officer who was recording the questioning also looked at the dishonest Zhang Ya. He told me the details of his 'confession', and then he talked about what an unlucky takeaway boy he was, and he was pestered when he delivered a takeaway, and he didn't know what to do, so he let the homeless man live.

The old Taoist priest and the policeman next to him murmured for a while, and said, "Your seal is gloomy. Tomorrow, I will ask someone to give you a practice of exorcising evil spirits. Do you have anything to add? Tell me and I can save your life." !"

"Tao Ke Dao..." A Taoist classic recitation suddenly sounded in the room, and the old Taoist priest took out his mobile phone, "Master, Master, the evil spirit underground has moved up, maybe the things in that formation are Come out soon, come and have a look!"

"Okay!" The old Taoist priest hung up the phone with a sad face, "Mr. Zhang, please stay calm and rest at the police station for the night. I will send someone over to do it for you tomorrow!" After speaking, he ran out in a hurry.

The man in the suit in the corner sat down now, "Mr. Zhang, do you remember me?"

Zhang Ya stared at him for a while, "Are you the one from the hospital last time?"

"It's me, Mr. Zhang, do you really have nothing to say?"

"No", Zhang Ya still understands the truth that talking too much will lead to loss, "I'm sleepy!"

The old Taoist priest rushed to the basement of the unfinished building, and greeted the disciples to start the practice, but the evil spirit suddenly stopped halfway up, which was very worrying.

"Master, look, why don't you put a soul as bait," the disciple said, taking out a mobile phone from his pocket, "Look at the ancient books you sent us, it says that this sinister formation needs to be saved enough 49 souls, and then gathered into a more powerful ghost..."

"Makes sense."