sound of silence

Pan Qiqin's family war broke out very suddenly, because Pan Qifei didn't keep the secret when he came home, all doubts were spread on the table in an instant, and the whole family was shrouded in gloom and mist for a whole week.

They counted down the list of all Pan Qiqin's past girlfriends, their relationship records, questioned each one, and doubted each one, thinking that he was under the curse of someone.

Pan Qiqin couldn't explain why, so he had to say: I think I'll move out first, and we'll talk about other things later.

Saying that, regardless of the three and six eyes of the whole family, he turned and walked into the room.

The instigator, Pan Qifei, of course followed up the room immediately, and saw that his brother was taking out the clothes from the closet and packing them in the suitcase at the same time.

"Brother, I really don't understand, what's wrong with you, you are obviously fine, why did you suddenly go this way?"

"Don't ask me, I can't think clearly now!" Pan Qiqin said lightly, and kept throwing things into the suitcase with his hands.

In a hurry, Pan Qifei went around in front of him, dumped all the contents of the suitcase on the bed, and said angrily, "What do you mean now? Running away from home just because of a man?"

"I didn't want to run away from home!" Pan Qiqin turned to look at him and said, "I just want to wait for you to calm down before talking!"

"Calm down? Where are we not calm? Are you the one who is not calm?" Pan Qifei waved his hands angrily and said, "Did you get drugged by that pervert? How come you were fine half a year ago, but now you suddenly become gay? ?”

"He's not a pervert! Don't hurt him like this! He didn't offend you!"

"Damn him? Are you still speaking for him? Why are you so selfish! Why don't you think about your parents? They have raised you for more than [-] years, so you can't compare to a GAY?" Pan Qifei shook in disbelief Shaking his head, he said again: "When you go out, what do you want them to do?"

While picking up his clothes, Pan Qiqin took a deep breath and said, "I haven't done anything shameful, why are they so shameless?"

Unexpectedly, Pan Qifei snorted coldly and said, "Auntie and the others will come to the house every week. When they ask you, what do you want them to answer? Say you lived with a man? Are you being shameless?"

Pan Qiqin stopped his hands, let out a long breath, then turned to his younger brother heavily and said, "Fei, I just fell in love with a man, is it serious enough to shame you all?"

Pan Qifei was taken aback by his brother's strict attitude.Talking about being ashamed... seems a bit serious. Thinking about it carefully, revealing to outsiders that one's brother or child is gay, although it is difficult, is not so stressful. , so I don't know how to answer at once.

I had no choice but to try to give some persuasive advice, but at this moment, my father suddenly appeared at the door with a gray and stern face, and said slowly, "A Fei, don't tell him, he wants to leave, let him Let's go, I'll pretend I never gave birth to this child!" After saying that, she turned around and left.

Pan Qiqin's father was over [-] years old, and had just retired from the army the year before last. His personality was exactly what one might imagine. He was upright and rigorous like a professional soldier. In the past, because of the nature of his work, he was a little alienated from children. However, he rarely interfered with their affairs. Behavior, now because of this matter, his father's gray hair is more conspicuous, and when he casts his own gaze, it seems that he saw something cheap, and all the flickering lights are mixed with contempt and disappointment.

His mother's attitude was worrying, and his younger brother's behavior was incomprehensible. Pan Qiqin could bear it, but he couldn't bear his father's indifference that made his heart chill.

Seeing his father's refusal, Pan Qifei suddenly felt an urge to "beg for mercy" for his brother, and hurriedly chased him out, but Pan Qiqin seemed to see through his thoughts and grabbed him.

"Forget it, don't make him unhappy at this time!"

"Brother..."

Pan Qiqin let him go, shook his head, and sat down on the bed... After a long silence, he said: "Fei... please let me be quiet..."

Looking at his brother's ashen expression, Pan Qifei's words that he wanted to say were all stuffed in his throat, and he couldn't say anything... He could only nod his head, and walked out silently as if he hesitated to speak.

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Simple room, familiar air, Pan Qiqin looked around, touched the bed, touched the table, touched the CD rack, stereo, as if saying goodbye to everything here.However, this seemingly calm action couldn't conceal the panic in his heart.

The exposure without warning made him a little unprepared. His mother always took advantage of the gaps to test things out, crying and persuading, talking and thinking...

This is the first time that Pan Qiqin really encountered the dilemma of choosing this path.

Annoyance, besides annoyance, is still annoyance.Anxious, Pan Qiqin put the clothes into the suitcase again... He kept thinking about Shen Jingyu in his heart, he was very afraid, really afraid that he would not be able to hold on.

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After all, work was the best part to deal with. The day after his family was exposed, he resigned without hesitation.

Next, he spent a few days renting a two-bedroom building in Zhubei. After everything was sorted out, it was past eleven o'clock that night.

Relaxing the nerves that had been tense for days, Pan Qiqin lay on the bed without spring cushions, and Pan Qiqin was in a daze, trying to put the floating in his heart back into place.It's only been a few minutes of lying down, but Shen Jingyu's image faintly emerged on the pale ceiling, his excited expression, painful tears, and desire-filled moans...In an instant, the heat in his chest burned again.

One month is the limit of improvisation, but to me, it is like a crossing point in life, as if I have to make a turn in my life during this period.From "normal" to "abnormal", from "calm" to "unstable".

He knew very well that if he chose this path, he would not be able to turn back, otherwise, Shen Jingyu's injury would never heal.

Love it all!Pan Qiqin kept hypnotizing himself.Although, he doubted whether Shen Jingyu would have fallen in love with him if Shen Jingyu hadn't gone to a dead end for himself and messed up his life.Even though, in the past few days, he had almost lost the urge to choose Shen Jingyu, he still forced himself to persevere.Because there is no way to test all the answers-

Go see him!Pan Qiqin sat up and suddenly wanted to find Shen Jingyu.Think now!

Watching him, maybe it can consolidate the wandering in my heart.

Calculate the time, today is the promised No.14 day.Thinking that if he ran to find him now, he would be very happy! !

Recalling his elegant facial features, showing a half shy smile, Pan Qiqin suddenly felt a little itchy, and he himself became inexplicably excited.He unpacked his luggage in a disorderly manner, picked out his clothes and pants, and dressed up...but after a long time of grooming, he suddenly saw that the clock printed on the back of the mirror was pointing to twelve o'clock...

"I'm fucking crazy!" Pan Qiqin couldn't help laughing!

He let out a long breath, put himself upside down, and lay on his back on the bed, but he couldn't sleep anymore, he just tossed and turned, imagining Shen Jingyu's surprised expression tomorrow... until his eyelids became heavy...

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Pan Qiqin was sitting in the car, lying on the steering wheel, staring at the gate of Qiu Fengyu's house.

Since that day, Shen Jingyu had a falling out with Su Hongwen in the street, and she didn't go home, and stayed at Qiu Fengyu's place temporarily.Because Qiu Fengyu is an outsider, she has lived alone since she started school.Shen Jingyu almost regarded this place as a temporary residence sometimes.

"He...should be happy..." Pan Qiqin could not sit still in the car, holding back his growing excitement. He just looked at his watch. It was 05:30 in the afternoon. I'm afraid they hadn't come back from get off work yet!

Suddenly a bell rang, and Pan Qiqin took out his mobile phone... On the camp screen, an unfamiliar number flashed...

"Hey!"

"Ah Chin?" A somewhat familiar male voice couldn't hide his anxious tone.

"Uh...yeah...you..."

"I'm Qiu Fengyu!"

"Ah..." Pan Qiqin didn't expect that he would call him, so he couldn't help but said in a daze, "Fengyu...um...I'm Aqin!"

"Where are you now? I called your house, and your mother said you had moved out? Then I called the company, and the company also said you left! Luckily, Bunch copied your phone number!"

"I... moved out and quit my job... I told you that day!"

Qiu Fengyu paused, then said in a deep voice, "Are you trying to hide from people or are you really dealing with it?"

It turned out that Qiu Fengyu was doubting his decision! !

Pan Qiqin felt uneasy for a while, thinking that because of this matter, a big hole was blown in his family, his life was out of the routine, and all the human relations that he had been accustomed to for a lifetime had to be rearranged, and now he was still being questioned! ?

"If I want to hide, why not just change the number?"

"This is really..." Qiu Fengyu felt relieved after hearing Pan Qiqin's somewhat angry tone, but then said urgently: "Then where are you moving now?"

Pan Qiqin snorted angrily: "It doesn't matter where you move, I'm already downstairs at your house, I want to find my senior!"

Qiu Fengyu screamed, and panicked instantly: "You are downstairs in my house! Then wait, I will hurry back, I have something to tell you!"

After all, he hung up the phone in an instant.

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As soon as Pan Qiqin sat down on the sofa, Qiu Fengyu handed him a can of beer.

After he took it, he looked left and right, really wanted to ask when Shen Jingyu would come back, but Qiu Fengyu's expression was so heavy that he couldn't ask, so he had to follow cautiously: "Fengyu... what happened?"

Qiu Fengyu sat in front of him with his head down, seemingly not knowing how to speak for a moment.

His expression really made people unable to think about the good, Pan Qiqin could only suppress the rising anxiety and said: "Fengyu... Is something wrong with Jingyu?"

Qiu Fengyu avoided his gaze, took a deep breath and said, "You... just wait, um... Bang Qi and Su Hongwen will be here soon!"

who?Su Hongwen? ─Did you hear me wrong?

Pan Qiqin didn't find it strange that Liu Bangqi would appear, but... why did Su Hongwen also come?

Pan Qiqin's expression questioned on the spot, Qiu Fengyu obviously saw it, but turned on the TV, turned on the channel, and said stiffly, "When they come, they have something to ask you!"

Pan Qiqin was inexplicably irritated by his attitude, and couldn't help but angrily said, "Fengyu, what's going on! What are you doing so mysteriously?"

He turned his head around, thinking that Su Hongwen's coming would be too abnormal, so he couldn't help saying angrily: "Why, it's Jing Yu who doesn't want to be with me anymore, and dare not tell me, do you want you to tell me?"

"No! Don't guess, wait for them..."

Pan Qiqin snatched the remote controller from his hand immediately, and said angrily, "Then what is the matter! If you want to say it, say it, you make people very nervous!"

Usually, Qiu Fengyu's temper is not too polite, but now that Pan Qiqin picks her up, she didn't get angry, she just frowned and said, "Wait a minute!"

Seeing that he didn't say anything, Pan Qiqin could only sulk unwillingly.

The TV series was dialing in front of them, but the two sat in a corner with their own thoughts.

Pan Qiqin stared at him from a distance, thinking that the only connection between himself and them was Shen Jingyu, coupled with the last impression of that day, Shen Jingyu's extremely haggard look, a feeling of uneasiness that he had never had before rushed straight to his chest, even if he didn't want to Guessing randomly, every thought still flowed to him.

After finally staying up until seven o'clock, someone finally rang the doorbell. Pan Qiqin sat up straight on the spot, his whole body tensed like a thorn, waiting for the answer.

Unexpectedly, Liu Bangqi and Su Hongwen really came in together. When they saw Pan Qiqin present, they looked at each other tacitly, and then went to sit on the sofa...

The more Pan Qiqin thought about it, the more something was wrong, especially when he saw that the three of them got together at some point, he couldn't help becoming anxious. In the end, he didn't even want to ask any more questions, but just sat silently, waiting for them to speak.

At this moment, Qiu Fengyu finally turned off the TV, and the atmosphere in the room of four gradually became serious.

"Aqin...we have something to ask you first..." Liu Bangqi finally spoke.

"What about the senior? Didn't he say he would live here? I'm going to talk to him now..." Pan Qiqin didn't answer, but asked directly, completely ignoring Su Hongwen's gloomy expression.

Liu Bangqi glanced at Qiu Fengyu, took a deep breath and said, "You decided to go with Jingyu?

Pan Qiqin was really displeased with their secretive attitude, so he said coldly, "That's between me and him!" He sighed and said, "If he's not here, I'll leave! I'll go to his house Find him!" Saying that, he stood up.

When he moved, all three present looked at him in agitation.

Liu Bangqi hurriedly said: "Aqin, wait! He...is not at home now!"

Pan Qiqin closed his eyes, his heart felt a little dry and said, "What do you guys mean? Are you watching a play? Would you like to say something to explain it once?"

"...I don't know where Shizuha went..."

"What do you mean not knowing where he went?"

Liu Bangqi didn't answer him, but turned to look at Su Hongwen, and nodded at him. Then Su Hongwen let out a sigh of relief and said darkly, "He has been missing for three days."

Pan Qiqin blinked, and it took a lot of effort to realize the meaning of this sentence.However, he still couldn't estimate the seriousness of this sentence, so he only said to Su Hongwen: "Be clear..."

Su Hongwen said impatiently: "Let me ask you first, have you ever slept with Jing Yu?"

Pan Qiqin's heart skipped a beat when he asked him such a provocative question, his face flushed instantly and he asked, "Do I have to answer you?"

"Aqin, do you have it or not?" At this moment, even Liu Bangqi frowned and asked.

"Yes! Yes!" Anxiously angry, he said angrily, "Why are you asking this?"

Liu Bangqi and Qiu Fengyu shook their heads helplessly as if they had heard some unexpected answer, and then closed their eyes, while Su Hongwen's expression was cold and astringent, extremely complicated.

Pan Qiqin couldn't get an answer, so he had to ask again: "What do you mean by asking this?"

But when Su Hongwen lowered his eyes, he said calmly: "Then you should find time to go to the health center for a test!"

"Test what...you guys..."

"Aqin...Jing Yu is suspected of being infected with AIDS..." Liu Bangqi cut off his question in a deep voice.

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What?What?AIDS... Pan Qiqin couldn't respond for a while, and just stared at them blankly.

However, Su Hongwen said in a voice without the slightest emotion: "Jing Yu had sex with a man in a PUB a year ago, and the man was found to be infected with HIV by the hospital infection department a month ago. The counselor asked him to write down the friends who had sex with him, hoping to inform those who don't know to get tested in time to prevent the spread of the epidemic...Three days ago, Jingyu received such a notice...and went out... But never came back!"

"A year...a year ago..." Suddenly, Pan Qiqin wasn't sure if he heard the words correctly, but he was a little out of breath.

"The course of HIV infection varies at different speeds. During the window period or incubation period, many patients have no symptoms, but it can be known that... the initial infection is the strongest, and this overlaps with the timing of Shizuka's intercourse with him, so the risk is high. ...Well...the chances of you being infected may not be very high...But things are unpredictable, just to be on the safe side, it's safer to go for an HIV antibody screening..."

I don't know if it's because Su Hongwen is a rehabilitation practitioner, so he expresses the medical information more clearly, or because of the angle of his lips slightly raised, Pan Qiqin feels that he seems to be a little on the sidelines.

However, no matter what, what he said was so clear, Pan Qiqin understood even more, judging from what Shen Jingyu confessed last time, the chance of infection is indeed very high, but he couldn't apply the disease of this century to him and himself .

The four of them sat quietly for a while, and Pan Qiqin raised his eyes to look at the three of them. At this moment, he realized that Shen Jingyu let him taste the ultimate desire in sex, but also led him into an abyss of desire.

"Shizu...he"

"Jing Yu didn't go for the test, didn't go home, and didn't go to work. His family doesn't know about it yet..."

The four of them looked at each other blankly, unable to say anything.

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In the past few days, Pan Qiqin installed a computer at his residence, and searched for information about AIDS on the Internet.

What is HIV, what is the pathogen that causes AIDS, what is the window period, what is the incubation period, what is the route of infection...

The more you understand, the more you understand how cruel the reality of Shen Jingyu's past fornication is.

Pan Qiqin stared blankly at the tent, swallowed countless pictures and words, but couldn't connect Shen Jingyu's handsome smile together.

According to what they said, Shen Jingyu used to sleep out a lot before, and she didn't restrain herself a lot until she lived with Su Hongwen. However, the highest point of restraint was when she communicated with herself on the Internet.It can be said that he has completely changed another person.

In this way, the world of the Internet is so messy and illusory, but it is Shen Jingyu's cleanest time.

The phone rang suddenly.Interrupting Pan Qiqin's distant thoughts, he looked at the number with his head, but cut it off directly.

Recently, I have been receiving calls from Liu Bangqi and Qiu Fengyu. They are very concerned about whether they have been tested, and they are really looking for Shen Jingyu.However, Pan Qiqin didn't want to tell them again and again: I didn't check it out, and I didn't look for it.

For Pan Qiqin, not wanting to go for a test does not mean that he is shying away from medical treatment.It means: he doesn't believe that Shen Jingyu has.If he didn't want to look for him, he found that he knew nothing about his routine and life three months ago.

In Shen Jingyu's mind, the impression is that since the separation seven years ago, he jumped directly to the connection on the Internet, and then reunited again, and then he caught a cold, took himself home...then went to bed...then Shen Jingxin...Su Hongwen …

Speaking of Su Hongwen...Pan Qiqin also understood that when he met Shen Jingyu, he realized that his life was not normal, but because he loved him, he couldn't leave him, but he didn't dare to touch him.And such a hurtful stalemate kept the relationship between the two of them in constant tension.As a result, Shen Jingyu made her life more chaotic, and Su Hongwen was even more afraid to touch it.

The relationship between the two on and off finally came to an end when Shen Jingyu saw her photo.

Therefore, it should be said that when Shen Jingyu saw his photo appearing on the Internet, he did not fall in love with himself again, but because his existence reminded him of the past that was almost lost a long time ago.So he tried to go back to the past, to regain the memory.Get back to who you were before you got off the rails.

It's just a coincidence.I actually fell in love with this man who had almost cut off contact with the past.

Thinking deeply at night, Pan Qiqin knew that he didn't blame him, really.It's just that suddenly, I feel extremely ridiculous about my courage to pursue this relationship.

oh oh!

Pan Qiqin was very surprised, so he installed ICQ, but the alarm went off!

When I opened it, it was a name I hadn't contacted for a long time.bright moon.

Mingyue: HI~ When I saw your name today, I was shocked!You haven't been online for a long time!

Cold Silver: Yes! ^^

Mingyue: You are very irresponsible as the deputy station master!For so long, the articles on the Internet have not been updated!Your message board is going to explode!

Han Shuiyin: Oh... Really?Okay, I'll check it out later!

Mingyue: What are you busy with?Why haven't you come up for so long?

Han Shuiyin: Yes!I have an online, but rarely go to the white literature network.

Mingyue: Come to the chat room by the way!Many people are looking for you!

Han Shuiyin: Oh?Yeah?Who?What are you looking for?

Mingyue: Hou, please help!You forgot, you said before that you will hold an online gathering, and you must find out that silence!

Han Shuiyin: ...Why are you still thinking about this?

Mingyue: Yeah?Still say it!Since the last time he said he wanted to gather online, he has disappeared!In the past, he would pass on articles and so on!

Han Shuiyin: ...Maybe there is something wrong with him!Anyway, if he doesn't come out, we can't force it!

Mingyue: Hey, you two have an appointment, right?

Cold Silver: What?What appointment?

Mingyue: The two disappeared together, and then the two reappeared together!Thick... You don't have any adultery, do you?Ah…

Han Shuiyin: Heh...you found out!Well, I admit it, I have an affair with him!

Mingyue: Heh... here we come!Come to the chat room, silence is also here!Come and chat!

Seeing the last reply, Pan Qiqin almost jumped up!In a hurry, he even knocked over the water glass on the side, but he couldn't control it, he just swiped...

Han Shuiyin: You said that Silence is also in the chat room?

Mingyue: Yes!Hurry up to Literature.com... He's been online these days!A lot of people ran out to push him out and gather online!Hey…

Pan Qiqin hurriedly clicked on the receptacle in a panic, and typed: White Literature Network...

He never thought that when he learned of his whereabouts, he would be so anxious and exaggerated...

The slowness of dialing up the line made the picture straight and uneven, and an indistinguishable urgency tensed his whole body muscles. Agitated, he hurriedly contacted Mingyue...

Han Shuiyin: I'm going to enter the website...you tell him first, and ask him not to leave!

Mingyue: Oh!

No, no, maybe... he saw himself and ran away! !Pan Qiqin was busy typing again...

Han Shuiyin: Mingyue, don't tell him I want to go in.

Mingyue: ??? What do you mean?

Han Shuiyin: I mean, you keep him, but don't mention me to him!

Mingyue: Huh?Why?

The page of Baili Literature Network finally appeared slowly... account number, password, login...chat room...

"SHIT!" Pan Qiqin couldn't help cursing.It turns out that the whole screen is blank, and the reading is quite slow...

When the whole book was opened, he saw many densely packed and colorful words... His heart was beating and jumping anxiously, until he saw the bright red word of silence, he finally let out a big breath...

Cold Silver: Silence!

However, after typing two words, Pan Qiqin suddenly froze.

What words do I have to type to be able to find out his whereabouts...to know what he is thinking...to know where he has been these days?

Quiet: HI~Cold Mercury!haven't seen you for a long time…

For some reason, seeing this sentence, Pan Qiqin's head suddenly burst into blood, and he didn't care what was written:

Cold Silver: Silence, where are you?Where are you now!

Quiet: You are coming up! ^^...I'm about to log off!

Han Shuiyin: Be silent, open ICQ!

Pan Qiqin's eyes were fixed on the tent, and his whole body was almost stuck inside.

Quiet: I want to go offline! ^^

Han Shuiyin: Be silent, open ICQ!Please, open ICQ!

"Quiet" suddenly turned to other people, and when he said goodbye, Pan Qiqin hit him anxiously...

Han Shuiyin: Be silent, open ICQ!Open ICQ!

But all of a sudden, the word silence suddenly disappeared in front of his eyes... Pan Qiqin couldn't help cursing, and pounded down on the keyboard!The keyboard keys jumped wildly and changed shape on the spot.