coward

The two played like children for a while, laughing and making noise.Li Qinghe looked at the skateboard and was eager to try it. After Li Xiluo agreed, he stood by the skateboard again, at a loss.

Li Xiluo laughed: "It's okay, don't be afraid."

"I'll teach you. Come on, get on the board first."

Li Xiluo gave a demonstration.

"Try to see if you are familiar with forward stance or reverse stance."

"Don't be afraid, pay attention to balance, relax, trust it, it can take you to fly."

Li Xiluo was very careful, and explained the precautions to Li Qinghe in detail, followed Li Qinghe to skate slowly, worried, and followed behind him all the time.

Li Qinghe was like a flopping penguin, taking small slippery steps, afraid of falling but wanting to move forward.

Li Xiluo followed him to tease him, but he was not annoyed.I'm a little more familiar, and the slide is fast, but I'm still afraid, stretching out my arms to be picked up.

Li Xiluo reached out and hugged him off the skateboard.Li Qinghe landed on the ground steadily, without bumping at all, just watched the skateboard hit the thin barbed wire without slowing down at all.

It made Li Xiluo laugh out loud.

Li Qinghe listened to the teasing of the person behind him, ignored him, and went to pick up the skateboard with a blushing face.

The young man was not too cold, so the two of them sat on the small steps over there.

Li Xiluo took a candy from Li Qinghe's pocket and threw it into his mouth.Take a deep breath, squint your eyes and smile slightly.

"I used to like to hold a mint in the cold winter morning, find a place where there is no one, step on a skateboard, fly on the ground, and fly in mid-air. The speed is so fast that the wind can't catch up."

He leaned back halfway, took a sip of mints, and his Adam's apple neck line drew a sexy arc.

"Did you know that skateboards and mints are a perfect match. Step on the skateboard, take a breath, the cool air is wrapped in the coolness of mint, passes through the throat, passes through the trachea, passes through the lungs, and finally reaches the heart and spreads to the limbs Baiku. At that time, I would feel that the world is cold and I am real. The cold wind blows around my ears, and the cold air pours into my insides. All my past will be thrown in the wind and left behind."

The words fell, and after a long time, no one spoke, and the silence rendered the entire evening.

Li Xiluo leaned back on his hands and turned his face to look at the young man sitting quietly beside him.

Li Qinghe didn't speak, but looked at a point in the distance, as if in a daze.

The tail of the boy's hair swayed lightly in the wind, kissing his eyelashes lingering in the wind.

Li Xiluo narrowed her eyes.

"Does it hurt when you fall?"

Li Qinghe asked suddenly.

"Ok?"

Li Qinghe didn't know why he asked such a question out of tune.The answer is obvious and uninteresting.

But he just wanted to ask.

"Skateboarding."

Li Xiluo laughed lightly: "It hurts, it hurts." Li Xiluo leaned over to Li Qinghe's side, shouting that it hurts, but his tone was cheerful.

He rolled up one of his trouser legs, exposing his knee.

"Look, it's all bald for me."

There were many uneven scars printed on it, leaving a patch of mottle on his straight and slender calf.

"I actually didn't like skateboarding at all when I first started. I just wanted to have fun."

Li Xiluo stretched out his legs and hooked the skateboard next to Li Qinghe, put his hands on it and gently slid it, like a child pushing a toy car.

"Damn, I really fell badly at the beginning. No one was with me. I played around by myself. Several pairs of my pants were torn. I fell. There were scars on my elbows, shoulders, waist, knees, and legs. Then Sometimes I just want to fall, maybe I’m sick. I can’t stand up when I fall, and it feels good to lie on the ground grinning in pain.” He laughed out loud.

"Later, I thought skateboarding was pretty good, and it didn't matter if I got injured all over my body."

Li Xiluo looked into the distance: "From the moment I stepped on it, it has every right to hurt me."

At that moment, Li Qinghe saw in his eyes the heroism and heartiness of a young man.

It is the vitality and bloom standing in the sun.

Li Qinghe stared at his profile, feeling warm in his heart.

Li Xiluo turned her head, saw him looking at her, and couldn't help but want to touch his hair.

The eyes of the young man on the opposite side were curved, as if the setting sun had been crushed into the pupils, half were clear, half were warm and soft.

"Are you still playing?" Li Xiluo asked.

"No way? It hurts from the fall." Li Qinghe imitated Li Xiluo's tone and said.

"Damn, I owe you." Li Xiluo was amused.

But it's true, the children will tease him.

On the way back, Li Xiluo kept laughing.No way, can't help it.

Thinking about why Li Qinghe didn't record it, let him see how...cute he is?

Thinking of Li Xiluo, he laughed again and couldn't stop it.

The word cute seems to describe a boy, right?

Whatever it is, it's cute.

Li Xi smiled and called Li Qinghe to wait for him.

Li Qinghe walked in front of him, ignoring people at all.The guy behind kept laughing.

Li Xiluo just kept walking behind Li Qinghe, neither far nor near.

When he got near the auto repair shop, Li Qinghe walked slowly awkwardly.

"Are you still angry?" Li Xiluo followed up and asked, with a lazy voice and a smile.

"I'm... out of breath."

"Walk so fast, without waiting for me."

In fact, it was Li Xiluo who kept laughing next to him, and his low voice turned into silk and pierced into his ears. He couldn't bear it, it was too terrible, and he had to stay away.

Li Xiluo walked in front of him and didn't follow him, just walked awkwardly all the way.

Li Qinghe smiled helplessly: "Then why have you been laughing?"

"Hey, it's nothing. Hey, let me copy your winter vacation homework." He leaned forward and whispered, as if telling a little secret.

Li Qinghe really wanted to rub his ears.

He took a half step back.

"No...write it yourself..."

"Tsk." Li Xiluo sighed, no way, in this world, it is difficult to copy homework.

Eh?He suddenly remembered that he didn't bring homework.

He laughed twice: "Then, goodbye?"

"See you."

"See you tomorrow." Li Xiluo said backwards.

"See you tomorrow." Li Qinghe showed his little canine teeth, he was obedient and cute.

"See you tomorrow!" Li Xiluo shouted to Li Qinghe when they were far away.The voice swayed in the warm light of the setting sun, looking around at dusk, waiting for a boy's response.

Li Qinghe shook his arms vigorously: "See you tomorrow!"

After shouting, both of them laughed.

Li Xiluo turned around with a smile and walked forward, then suddenly turned around and blew a loud whistle.

Li Qinghe waved to him, and the two parted.

In the past two days, Li Qinghe played happily with Li Xiluo, and didn't do much homework.Li Qinghe had never made up his homework before the start of school, so he lay down on the desk in the cubicle to do his homework after eating.

There are no holidays in the third year of high school.

Li Qinghe looked at the set of papers and sighed.

He set a good time and took out a set of English test papers to write.

Hurry up and hurry up, and finally finish writing.

Even if the reading comprehension is wrong, it is only half right.

Li Qinghe frowned as he looked at the paper that had just passed one hundred.

When he was writing the questions, he was always distracted.

He has been very close to Li Xiluo recently, so close that he feels unrealistic.

Li Xiluo gave him red envelopes, watched fireworks with him, taught him how to skateboard, would complain about his friends, would tell him about his past, would swear in front of him, would... look forward to seeing him tomorrow.

Li Xiluo is very good.

Especially good.

Li Qinghe couldn't find anyone better than him.

They should... be friends, right?

Li Xiluo said that playing with him was really fun.

Li Xiluo regarded him as a friend.

But he couldn't give him the same sincere emotion.

He selfishly mixed it with something else.

This may make Li Xiluo feel puzzled or...disgusted.

Li Qinghe hugged his head and shrank in the corner, leaving only a small desk lamp.

A small lamp cannot illuminate the whole room, and there are always some corners that are full of darkness and dust.

Li Qinghe felt his nose sour, and he buried his head in his arms.

It turned out not to be so.

All he wanted to do was peek at him.

But Li Xiluo can shine, so he can't help but get close.

Li Xiluo was too kind to him.

Brother is shelter and reliance, Li Xiluo is light and longing.

He has never seen that kind of meaninglessness and magnanimity in anyone, and he feels that he and Li Xiluo sometimes resonate, they are algae living in the same pond, floating on the smelly water, a little panic will put them on the bottom of the pool.

It's a feeling that boys of the same age don't have.

Boys of the same age would play games together, chat pornographic jokes together, and play ball and eat together while cuddling with each other, but Li Qinghe never had the same throbbing towards them as he did towards Li Xiluo.

am i gay

No, I... I don't like gays.

I just... just... like Li Xiluo.

Like him, want to watch him secretly.

Miss him... Laugh at yourself alone.

Thinking of this, Li Qinghe shrank under the blanket and covered his head in shame.

"What are you thinking about!" Li Qinghe pinched himself, annoyed at himself thinking about impossible things.

He thought about telling Li Xiluo, but he was afraid that he would stay away.

He was afraid that Li Xiluo would hate him and disgust him like everyone else.

He also heard those words from time to time.

That day in the bathroom, he was tempted unclearly and became a shackle that he could no longer escape from.

He is trapped, unable to escape the curse of the past, and unable to enter the joy of the future.

The self-esteem in his bones taught him to drown the chaos with arrogance.

All his pride comes from his low self-esteem.

Inferiority melts into the flesh and blood, and self-confidence is covered with skin.

The more others talk, the more he straightens his spine.

He is proud, tall and straight, and confident, and moves forward.

Try to get rid of everything that scares him.

He never took the initiative to talk to others, and he didn't know how to get along with others.

If possible, he would prefer to be a listener.Whatever other people want to say is fine, he will listen quietly.

But things always backfired.

Others thought that he had set foot on the lofty and remote platform, but he fell into the dark deep sea alone.

At this time, he would miss Li Xiluo.

He was always worried whether Li Xiluo would know what other people were talking about.

He cares more about what he thinks.

The torment was about to swallow Li Qinghe, and he wished every day when he saw Li Xiluo smiling at him would be forever.

He curled up in the bed, huddled in a corner, with his back against the wall.

He began to look forward to tomorrow's arrival.

No matter what, he wanted to see Li Xiluo.

Like to look at him.

I just like it.

He's almost obstinate about wanting to have his dirty feelings acknowledged.

Li Qinghe closed his eyes, for the first time he had the idea of ​​letting go.

Anything else, whatever.

……

After finally falling asleep, Li Xiluo woke up in the middle of the night.

He looked at the darkness outside through the gap in the curtain and sighed.

He turned over and was startled to sweat.

Li Xi got out of bed and turned on all the lights, touched a cigarette from the table beside the bed and lit it.

The smoke lingered, rose and climbed up, and finally floated around Li Xiluo.

He was wearing short sleeves and sitting on the floor leaning against the wall, when he suddenly remembered that the white wine opened two days ago was still in the small kitchen.

He got up and put on his slippers and went into the tiny little kitchen.The bottle of wine forgot to close the lid, and it was left alone on the table.

Li Xiluo picked up the remaining half bottle of wine, held it in front of his eyes and shook it through the light.

It was white and rippling, shining crystal light under the light.

He looked at his phone.

3:41

It's yesterday's tomorrow.

The aroma of wine slowly overflowed into the small kitchen, Li Xiluo looked at the white liquid still shaking slightly in the wine bottle, remembered yesterday's see you tomorrow, and smiled slightly.

Li Xiluo was very annoying.

Li Qinghe ignored him for the past two days.

Some time ago, he and Li Qinghe had a good time, and school will start soon, and the good students are making up their homework.

This can make people worry to death, no one listens to him beeping.

After thinking about it, he touched the phone.

Click on WeChat and send a small sunflower to Li Qinghe.

Looking at the circle of friends, it is full of bad words from a bunch of high school dogs sneaking out of their busy schedules.

Means nothing.

Gee.

Flipping down, hey, there is also a photo of Zhao Xin showing love and holding hands warmly.

Caption: I want to grow old slowly with you.

Damn, what is this sour accompanying text.

Li Xiluo threw away her phone and stood on the windowsill looking at the pot of succulents.

A small ball nestled in a small flowerpot, no bigger than his palm.

It's Li Xiluo's baby, it was brought back from the auto repair shop.Originally, when Li Qinghe said that he wanted to give him a small pot of flowers, he wanted the little cactus. He was afraid that he would not be able to keep it alive, so how can you feed the flowers that someone gave you to death?Hearing that cactus is easy to grow, he touched the small cactus, which was wrapped in green leaves and thorns were not mature yet, so it was soft and not prickly to the touch.

But Wu Guangna's insanity refused to give up, not baby's.

Reluctantly, he took this delicate and pitiful little thing back.

It's quite cold now, and at first Li Xiluo was worried that she wouldn't be able to support her, so she wanted to confess.Now there is a small green ball, which is so cute.

Li Xiluo stretched out his index finger to touch the small fleshy mesophyll, it was slippery, and there was a small point at the end of the mesophyll, it was hard and not prickly to the touch.

The days passed quickly, every day was full of joy, Li Xiluo felt like he had escaped into the river, where there were all sorts of miscellaneous things, but he swam happily, never before.

Just the day before all the students were rushing to make up their homework and waited for the start of school, because of an epidemic, the school issued a notice to postpone the start of school, and the time was uncertain, waiting for the provincial notice.

Big things can't stand the joy of young people.

The class group exploded.

Small groups also exploded.

By the time Li Xiluo's phone vibrated non-stop, he was already in various messy groups.

What are the "Science Boys Group", "Y people in Class [-] are so handsome", "Open Black Group", "New Youth Exploring Mysteries", "Researching Physics Together", "You write games for homework, I come to the group", "Blessed and share the same enjoyment, it is hard to quit All kinds of strange and non-mainstream names of sand sculptures have come up.

In the end, there was a group message of "love each other as a family" which was the most fun.

fall:……

Shen Lin Jingyue: Hey, let's go dance

Zhao Xin: @沉玉赛越You are an idiot, the whole city is fucking closed, and the gates of my community are not allowed to leave.

Luo: Who the hell pulled me in.

Brother Nan: Hey, have you written your homework yet?

I, Wang Haochuan, even if I am scolded to death at the beginning of school, I will definitely not give in to my homework: write a woolen thread, postpone the start of school, I still don’t believe it.

Zhao Xin: @落What are you doing at home?It's like disappearing.

Luo: I'm busy falling in love.

Li Xiluo quit after saying a word, and didn't care about the rest.

Two minutes later, Chen Jingyue called him.

"Damn! Bro, are you in a relationship? You told me two days ago that you're not interested in little girls! Hooked up so quickly?"

"I'll hook you up, melon! Let me talk about wool! Believe it or not, I'll cut you!"

"I really didn't talk about it? Then why are you showing off to Lao Yuan?"

"No, you fucking say it again? Who is demonstrating?"

"Ah, isn't it a demonstration for you to post such a sentence in the homework group?"

Li Xiluo hung up the phone without saying a word.

He clicked on WeChat, and messages from various groups kept popping up.

【a lovely family】:

Zhao Xin: @落你喓力, didn’t I just ask you, why are you so sour?

Shen Lin Jingyue: @落不是，Brother, do I have a sister-in-law?

Your brother Nan: @落? ? ?

I, Wang Haochuan, even if I am scolded to death at the beginning of school, I will never give in to homework: brother? ?

Sun Ming: @打我响!My girlfriend asked me to watch the homework group, brother, what are you doing? ! !

【Eight Class Homework Group】:

Yuan Qi: @全员Everyone take a picture of your holiday homework and post it in the group.

Beinan: Don't talk to Yuan Shuai, other classes don't even check.

Heart fire: @元球师 I am abroad, I can’t come back, my homework is in my hometown.

Wangwang Broken Bingbing: Teacher, my homework was taken by my younger brother to practice calligraphy.

Aries: @元先生Our family is collecting corn, and we are busy.

Aries: [picture].jpg

Mr. Yuan @白羊王嘉嘉!You are busy!Is the corn harvested at this time!

Yuan Qi: You didn't do your homework at home, did you?What are you busy with!

Luo: I'm busy falling in love.

Aries:! ! !

Beinan: Who is this?

Little cutie: @北南seems to be a super bully!

Beinan: [Stunned].jpg

Yuan Qi: Li Xiluo! ! ! !

[Y-man class [-] is so handsome]:

It's cute: wow!Super bully in love?

Whalefall: Wow!who!Is it from our class? ! ! ! !

Ji Guang: It can't be the girl from the second class who goes to the door of our class all day long, right?He looks okay, but he's not a good person.

...: @吉光Which one?

Meet: @吉光同! ! !

Aurora: @…@见私.

Xingguang Banyang: I don't know which girl took the super bully?Ahhhhhh! So angry!

Your little cutie: @星光半洋 not necessarily, what if it’s a little brother? [bad laugh][bad laugh]

Encounter: ah ah ah ah ah!yes!Super bully and class three who are playing well!

Jiguang: @遇见that is from Class [-], right?

Encounter: Yes!They always eat together!I also saw that super bully helped him buy food!Ah, what kind of fairy love is this!

Xingguang Banyang: @跟见姐姐I have photos!

Aurora: @星光半洋求!

Whale Falling: @星光半洋Seek!

`TRISTE: @星光半洋姐姐姐！

Full Moon: Take me one!

FUTURE: Haha, Ye Qinghui! [squinting smile]

Someone actually wrote pornographic jokes below, and it was copied and pasted at first glance, only the names of the people were changed, and some of them were not changed.

Ah Hao: Can the rotten girl go away? [Smile]

Nicholas Tie Zhu: Two men?Depend on!The world is fantasy?

Ruffian boss: What are you girls thinking about!This is too... shameful, right?

Aurora: @狂老松老徐, come on, let me open the door to a new world for you!

Starlight Half Ripple: Picture.jpg

Starlight Half Ripple: The super bully will serve him soup!

Encounter: Wow!So handsome!

Aurora: [color][color][color]

. . . : Let me just say one thing, super bullies seem to be in this group...

Xingguang Banyang Withdrew a message

Aurora retracted a message

Aurora retracted a message

met withdraw a message

FUTURE retracted a message

Aurora: Damn! I can’t withdraw

Encounter: @星光半洋 You withdrew by mistake, right?You deleted the pictures of our group!Send it again!

Starlight Half Ripple: [OK].jpg

Starlight Banyang: Sisters, hurry up!Let's post the news together!

Fall: late.

Xingguang Banyang has left the group chat

Your cutie has left the group chat

Jiguang has left the group chat

Met has left the group chat

fall:……

Li Xiluo threw herself on the bed.

He doesn't want to live anymore.

Hold……

The author has something to say: I have selfish intentions. Whether it is the pain of the epidemic for several months or the background needs of this novel, I do not want this epidemic to become a pain point for everyone.Whether it is the readers or them in the book.

Future plots will not allow the epidemic to intervene too much.

Of course, the real closure of the city, prohibition of entry and exit, and people's living conditions may all change. I write as I like, and everyone reads as I like.

Thank you all, thank you very much!

?(Here, their sunflowers)

I wish you all a happy reading.