15 diary

Xie still stood up and avoided him: "You are not Lu Heng. Lu Jue... I have never noticed that your father likes jade culture, so your names are Lu Heng and Lu Jue. Jade, it was you who always The English name from now on.”

Xie Yiran said this with bitterness in his heart, and when he looked at the person in front of him, his expression was not much better.

Lu Heng's face suddenly turned pale: "Still..."

"Yiran, it wasn't you who called me." Xie Yiran cut him off with a blank expression on his face.

"I'm Lu Jue, and I'm Lu Heng's younger brother." Lu Heng's voice was a little lonely and cold, and he looked at Xie Yiran: "If it's not Lu Heng, why not?"

Xie Yiran knew that the person in front of him was not Lu Heng.Obviously he was ready to accept everything in his heart, but when Lu Jue really admitted it himself, how much he wanted him to deny it.Why?Why did fate fool itself like this?

Why?Why is the person in front of him not him?

Xie Yiran finally shed tears. He cried in grief and asked, "Why? Why did you lie to me? Lu Jue! Why did you lie to me?"

Lu Jue hugged him: "I'm sorry, it's just because... I... love you!"

"You let me go..." Xie Yiran cried: "You are not him! Not him! Why...why are you not him?"

"Still..." Lu Jue hugged him tightly: "So what if I'm not him? Didn't you say that you love me as I am now?"

"Let me go..." Xie Yiran pushed him, and he cried, "Let me go, you liar! You are not Lu Heng!"

He desperately wanted to push Lu Jue away from him, struggling desperately.

Lu Jue felt that he was going to stay away from him, and he was going to stay away from him forever.He panicked inexplicably in his heart, he wanted to keep him, he was afraid that he would no longer pay attention to him, and he was afraid that he would leave him.He was afraid, he could only hold him tightly, and never let go!

Lu Jue held Xie Yiran tightly in his arms: "Yiran, don't do this. Don't leave me!"

"It's impossible for us! You go! Let me go...don't touch me!" Xie Yiran couldn't push him away, so he bit him, hard, hard on his shoulder.

Lu Jue didn't dare to let go, there seemed to be a hint of pleading in his painful voice: "As long as you can stay by my side..."

"No, I don't want it! Let me go! I don't want it, we're done!" Xie Yiran struggled in his arms, crying.He felt that his heart really hurt when he said this sentence.It's over, there's nothing left.

Lu Jue was shocked by his words, he could lose everything except him, how could he lose him, how could he lose Xie Yiran?He held Xie Yiran's strength and began to increase: "You can't leave me!"

Xie still felt the pain in his arms: "You let go...get out!"

Lu Jue became excited, he directly pressed Xie Yiran on the sofa, lost his mind, tore his clothes, and shouted: "My brother and I are the same age, same appearance, and have the same heart for you! " Lu Heng grasped Xie Yiran's hand vigorously, and pressed it firmly against his heart. He forcibly controlled his face and looked at him. He stared at him: "Xie Yiran, I love you! As long as If you want, I can be Lu Heng until I die! Why can't I be him! Why can't you treat me as him? Didn't you also say you love me!"

"Let go of me! You're not him..." Xie Yiran shouted with tears, "...you are Lu Jue! Lu Heng is dead! Dead!" Xie Yiran yelled out the fear he didn't want to face, he had no choice but to If you don't admit it, Lu Heng is dead.

Lu Jue also roared: "But I love you too! I love you too, still..." He forcibly raised his face, and rudely asked for a kiss.

Xie Yiran turned his face away with difficulty: "Your heart is not yours..." Xie Yiran's voice was a little hoarse, and his tears flowed down the corner of his eyes: "It belongs to Lu Heng... the one who really loves me People! This heart... has contained me for 15 years..."

Xie Yiran's hand, which still wanted to struggle again, gradually dropped.What sad is the most powerless?It was that person who died, and he died quietly, and no one told himself that he had died for four years.

Lu Jue let him go, and he looked at Xie Yiran under him, how sad and desperate he was now, and how painful his heart was.

Lu Jue slid on the ground: "Still... I'm sorry..." He felt powerless like never before, he had never been so powerless, he couldn't change the fact, there was no way to change the fact that the person he loves doesn't love himself.

He thought of the kidnapping four years ago.

I was locked in the dark forever.At the time, I thought I might never get out.

At that time, the only belief I had in wanting to live was to see the person who used to walk with my brother in junior high school again in my lifetime.

He remembered that that person was always so quiet, and there seemed to be countless sorrows hidden in his beautiful eyes forever.

But standing beside him is his sunny and cheerful brother.He is such a quiet and sad person, maybe only Brother Sunshine can heal him.A person as indifferent and silent as himself may only bring him more sorrow.

He clearly knew that there was no possibility between him and himself, maybe he hadn't even noticed his own existence, but he really wanted to take a look at that face again, even if it was just in a place where he couldn't see it, it would be good to just look at it silently, It's like standing at the window of the aisle every time, silently watching him and his brother basking in the sun on the playground.

He is calm and clean in the sunshine, and how beautiful he is with his brother beside him.

The darkness is boundless.He thought about those memories that had him in the past, hoping to keep himself going.

In the end, Lu Heng rushed in and opened up the dark space. He thought he was rescued.When the gunshot sounded from the darkness, he watched the person exactly like himself fall down in front of him.

That feeling was like watching himself fall in front of him, twitching on the ground, and then quietly bleeding, gurgling out from his chest.

"Brother!" He braced his body that had collapsed in the darkness for a long time, and stumbled to him, that was a cry he seldom yelled out, brother.

In the past, he thought that this person who looked like him always behaved like a big boy, and he never looked like a person who could make him call his brother every day, but at that moment, he was no longer a big boy.

He raised his hand to help him cover the blood on his chest, watching the blood continuously overflowing from between his fingers.Seeing the dying person in front of him try his best to grab his bloody hand, he tremblingly said to himself, "The phone...my..."

He watched as he held the phone tremblingly in his hand, sent a short message, and then fell to the ground with the clang of the phone, and his hand dropped powerlessly.

He looked at himself tiredly, looked at his sad face, and suddenly smiled again. When he smiled, he frowned in pain: "How did I forget..." He looked at his face, and his smile became pale because of the pain. Distorted, he smiled with difficulty: "Lu Jue...you look the same as me..."

"Brother! Don't die!" He clutched his chest tightly, the blood there was scary.

He coughed twice, his voice became more and more difficult, he looked at himself with a difficult smile: "It's okay, I won't live long... I just... just... I can't let it go, still..." When he said that name , the eyes are full of nostalgia and sadness: "Still...if there is no me, what will...how to do? I know...he still loves me..."

"Brother, you'll be fine..." Tears fell with these words, and this was the first time he shed tears.

"Lu Jue... help me take care of Yiran... okay? As me... don't let him suffer... my disappearance..."

"elder brother……"

"Help me take care of him, okay?" He began to clenched his already exhausted hand, pleading in his eyes, "Just treat it... just treat it as my life... in exchange for your promise..."

He held on to the last bit of strength and finished speaking, the strength in his hand suddenly loosened, and his weak hand gradually slipped to the ground.

The phone just lay quietly by his hand, stuck on the ground quietly, with only a faint white light.

He closed his eyes, quietly, lying in a beam of white light shining in from outside the door, quietly, never moving again.