You are the sunny scenery in my heart

In the evening, after having dinner with Zhou Ran, I called my mother on a whim.

Mom said on the other end: "It's really time for you to call. If it was earlier, I might not be able to answer it."

I was wondering what happened there, so I asked.

"Do you still remember the person who always teased you when you were young, calling you 'Little Bao Zheng'?"

Search memory, I still have the impression of that person.

When I was young, I might be a little stupid, and I would fall when I was walking. Usually, when others saw that they were about to fall, they quickly put their hands on the ground to avoid falling on their faces.But for some reason, when I was young, I would deliberately put my hands behind my back when I fell, and I would hit my forehead every time.So there is often a big purple bag.My mother and grandma have taught me countless times, and let me stretch out my hands first when I wrestle next time, and pestle the ground.But I have no memory, and when I wrestle again, I still carry my hands back naturally.At that time, the bag on my forehead was already my sign, and many adults used it to joke with me.The person my mother mentioned was Yu Bo, and he was the worst. He gave me the nickname "Little Bao Zheng", so it's not that I'm smart, it's because of that Bao.

Ask mom what's wrong with him.

On the other end of the phone, I heard my mother sigh, "I committed suicide!"

When I heard this sentence, my heart seemed to be soft, and I suddenly hit it hard with a rusty sledgehammer.The warmth I recalled just now was suddenly dragged into hell by this sudden bad news.

His mother said that Yu Bo had been working alone in a certain city for a long time. Two days ago, his family suddenly received a call asking him to go to a certain city to clean up his funeral affairs.It happened so suddenly that Yu Bo's parents almost collapsed on the ground, and the whole family rushed to that city without any hesitation.Later, my mother heard that Yu Bo really committed suicide. The body was found on the train track, and it was said that both legs had disappeared.My mother said excitedly: "Maybe the train was going too fast, and when it passed by, both legs bounced off."

After putting down the phone, I was in an extremely bad mood. Zhou Ran saw it and asked me what happened. I looked at him and suddenly felt very reluctant. I hugged him, calmed down my excitement, and said: "There is a young man in my hometown. People committed suicide!"

Zhou Ran was really shocked when he heard it. In my ears, I could feel his voice trembling: "Why did you commit suicide?"

Before I came to City C, I had heard about Yu Bo. He had a son, who may be in the first year of high school now, and had no wife. His wife eloped with others when the child was very young.There is a younger brother who is born with a defect, and the elder brother is still alive.It may be the reason for his wife's departure. He has never married again. It is said that he occasionally goes to romantic places.He didn't take care of his child very much. It was his parents who saved him and raised him so that he could go to school.For this society, he may be a scar, a dispensable person, and even without him, this society will run more smoothly. Now that he is dead, I don't know if he can think about it or he can't think about it.

After all, he is dead. He is obviously a healthy person who obediently gave up his life. I don't know if he has ideals, and he doesn't know what supported him when he was alive.He may have realized that he was no good to society, and that his death might be a good thing.He didn't think about his children, he didn't think about his parents, and he didn't think about people like me who want to live but really don't have that power.

He was undoubtedly selfish, but I couldn't figure out what kind of situation would allow him to overcome the fear of death and let him obediently die obediently.Anyway, I think if it was me, I would definitely not be able to do such a stupid thing.

Zhou Ran was amazed that I had been thinking about this matter all afternoon, and asked me if I was so shocked that I couldn't bear it for a while.

We must not have such a deep relationship, but his lack of cherishing of life makes me feel angry.

I looked at Zhou Ran, and a clear outline appeared in front of my eyes. This is what I cherish the most. I can give up everything for him, except life.After experiencing Lao Zhang and Gao Ze, I am more determined that I will never fall in love with others again, not because my life may not be so long, but because I feel that Zhou Ran is destined to be mine, even if he marries someone else in the future, He is also mine.

It's just that for Yu Bo, he is really too young, not yet 40 years old, isn't he a proper age for a man?Shouldn't you just apply some simple and unscented skin care products to make your skin delicate and shiny?Attract a group of women passing by and look back?

I really don't know his world, what is important and what can be given up.Or all can be given up.He will never love again, a woman who doesn't understand style let him know that women all over the world are poisonous.Eating, drinking and having fun for a long time also made him numb, and his curiosity about the world also dissipated.Coupled with the fact that occasionally someone dislikes him, and his family complains that he is unlearned and incompetent, he may have thought of committing suicide a long time ago, but he still needs an opportunity. It may be that he lost badly in a bet, or Maybe the lady who received him didn’t agree with him, maybe the boss was in arrears of wages, maybe he, like me, got some serious illness and died soon.Or he could feel the torment of illness, which made him scarred inadvertently.

Thinking of this, I suddenly began to sympathize with him.

Maybe I really don’t want to drag my family down!

He must have no love in his life, so he foolishly chose to surrender his life in such an unromantic place.

I shared my thoughts with Zhou Ran.

He pondered for a moment and said, "It's possible. After all, he is a man, how can he endure being a burden to others?"

If this is true, then perhaps it would not be so if his parents came to him and seriously comforted him when he found out that he was sick.

"Don't think too much about it. It's tiring. After all, it's someone else's business. If we live our lives well, we will be worthy of everyone." Zhou Ran hugged me and said.

Also.

Later, my mother called me and told me that Yu Bo was really sick.He didn't have that much money himself, and he didn't want to hurt his family, so he chose to commit suicide.

Feel sad for him, his intentions are respectable anyway.

Looking back and thinking about myself, maybe it is still impossible to become as high-spirited as he is.I hate to die, but my doctor says there is nothing he can do.For Yu Bo, isn't my life a joke?If he knew that I was in such a situation, would he think that I had no value in living at all?

Zhou Ran is persuading me not to think too much, and worrying about it will not change anything.

Right.

This night, holding Zhou Ran and not letting go, he also knew that I was in a bad mood, so he turned back and hugged me as well, and then fell asleep peacefully.