Point

He Tianxi didn't stay at Yangeryu's house for a long time, because he felt that Yangeryu was too annoying, so he moved back to the hotel. His mother called him and asked him why he hadn't come home for so long. He lied that he was in Iceland with someone Play and won't go home for a short time.

His mother complained to him, then hung up the phone without saying anything.

He took a bath in the hotel's bathtub at night, put something next to the bathtub, and drank while soaking in the warm water. The water warmly wrapped him, and the alcohol also gently wrapped him.

His head was dizzy from the soak, and he put the wine glass in his hand in the groggy state. The water vapor in the bathroom slowly condensed into water droplets, which stuck to the wall and the wall of his bathtub.

He Tianxi was sitting in the bathtub with his head propped up, but then he slid down unconsciously. His upper body exposed to the air slid into the water, his neck slipped into the water, and his chin also got in. He slightly closed his eyes and frowned. , half of his face slipped into the water.

The water temperature in the bathtub was still warm, and his whole body shrank into the water.

He felt at peace, like he had never been born.

After he lost consciousness for a short while, he felt in a trance that someone opened the bathroom door and pulled him out of the water, as if trying to wake him up, he slapped him viciously on the face.

"He Tianxi, do you fucking know how many idiots in the world in a year drown to death because they got drunk while soaking in the bathtub?!"

He Tianxi suddenly opened his eyes in the water, and sat up from the bathtub with his hands on his chest. His hair, which had not been trimmed for a long time, was all stuck to his cheeks due to the water.

He Tianxi wiped the water from his forehead and eyes. He tried to stand up from the bathtub, but the bathtub was very slippery. His feet felt weak for a while, and finally he climbed out while supporting himself on the edge of the bathtub.

He staggered, and when he climbed out, he couldn't stabilize, and fell to the floor with a bang, the back of his head hit the ground, the whole world seemed to shake, and everything in front of him became false.

There was a shadow covering the light above his head, and against the light, He Tianxi could only see the outline of a head. He lay quietly on the ground and stared at this shadow that suddenly appeared and could not discern facial features.

"Are you sober?" The shadow spoke, and the voice, as always, would always be mixed with a harsh tone.

He Tianxi raised his hand to cover his eyes, and said in a low voice, "Don't die, okay?"

He begged the other party, it was impossible in his life, and he would never use such a tone to talk to Xing Congjing, to ask Xing Congjing.

He begged Xing Congjing not to disappear.

The shadow turned a deaf ear to his plea, and only found out those words he had heard from his memory and said: "If you want to die, you can die in a way that won't trouble others."

He Tianxi covered his eyes, and he also turned a blind eye to the man's shady tone, and still whispered: "Did you hear what I said? Don't die, okay?"

He Tianxi covered her sore and swollen eyes, and said in a hoarse voice, "I beg you, please?"

He gritted his teeth and tried to suppress the choked voice in his throat: "I was wrong, I was wrong."

The shadow couldn't hear him, and He Tianxi heard the voice of him stepping up and walking to the side: "Bath towel, wipe it, get up quickly."

He Tianxi said, "Okay."

Xing Congjing took a step further: "Don't fucking drink anymore."

He Tianxi said with a hoarse voice, "Yes."

Xing Congjing's voice was a little impatient: "May I ask if your brain has learned normal knowledge? Do you know that taking a bath will speed up blood circulation and make you more likely to get drunk? Drunk in the bathtub, this It sounds like a great way to die."

He Tianxi bit his lower lip with his teeth. He put down his hand that was covering his eyes in an attempt to hide tears, and raised his voice back, "I know! I fucking know!"

"..." The bathroom answered him with empty mist, and Xing Congjing's shadow had long since disappeared.

He Tianxi sat up from the ground, he turned his head and looked around, this space was surrounded by walls, the tiles were covered with condensed water droplets, and the incandescent lamps were very dazzling.There is no Xing Congjing.

He Tianxi stood up from the ground, raised his hand to wipe his tears, wrapped in a towel, opened the bathroom and walked out.

The back of his head hit the ground. He judged that it should be a slight concussion at most. It was nothing serious. He knocked out a cigarette from the cigarette case on the coffee table and put it in his mouth. He stood by the window and smoked while watching Wanjia outside. lights.

The next day he woke up early, put on his coat and went out. He took a taxi to the psychological counseling room according to the address on his business card given to him by Sun Ji.

When he arrived at the place, the door of the consulting room hadn't opened yet, so he stood at the door, smoking a cigarette and waiting.

When someone came to open the door at 10:30, He Tianxi entered and filled in the information at the door, and sat on a chair waiting for the consultant to come to the door.

The consultant arrived at work at around 40:[-]. He Tianxi stood up with a sandwich in his hand when he entered the door. He nodded at the consultant who entered the door, and then said with a smile, "You guys are working very hard. This What about breakfast?"

The consultant quickly stuffed the sandwich into her mouth: "No, we don't usually have people coming in for consultation at this point." She said as she entered the office and motioned for He Tianxi to come in together.

After He Tianxi entered the door, the consultant who seemed a little unreliable just now seemed to have switched to working mode. She sat on a chair and motioned He Tianxi to sit down.

They filled out the preparations for the start of the consultation on their desks. The consultant took the paper and put it aside, and poured He Tianxi a glass of boiled water.

He Tianxi thanked her, with a calm expression, and stepped into the topic without any step-by-step greetings: "A person I knew passed away some time ago."

The consultant nodded.

He Tianxi's expression was flat and emotionless, as if he was talking about other people's affairs: "Let's put it this way, he raped me in my year, and he didn't appear in front of me much because of his studies. When I went to college, he came to see me again. Me, we resumed contact until he passed away some time ago."

The consultant looked at He Tianxi seriously and gently: "Is it a man or a woman? Is it a relative or an elder?"

He Tianxi said: "Male, same age."

The consultant hummed.

He Tianxi's expression was still very calm: "I didn't feel relieved after he passed away. I even thought about dying last night."

When He Tianxi came out of the consultation room, he felt that the consultation had no effect on him. The consultant explained to him in detail that this kind of post-traumatic stress may not end with the death of the perpetrator, but please ask him Confident, she can help him recover.

She also asked a lot, such as whether she has never told anyone about this matter for so many years. This is a very typical avoidance behavior. There is a consensus in psychology that "the more you avoid this matter, the more you will lead to self-destructive behavior." The subconscious’s recognition of this matter has deepened.” She also encouraged He Tianxi to say that he is now undergoing psychological counseling, and being able to speak out about this matter is already a great improvement.

He Tianxi was a little annoyed after he came out of the inside. He kicked two small stones away while walking on the road, then sat on the roadside flower bed to smoke a cigarette, and stared at the speeding vehicles passing by on the road.

The place he came to was quite out of the way, and the car drove much faster than the city center.

After smoking two cigarettes, He Tianxi thought, this psychological counselor is not very good, she doesn't seem to understand what he is talking about.

The counselor couldn't understand what he was saying.

It's not some goddamn PTSD, it's him thinking about that lunatic, and he's thinking about that lunatic!

He thought about how he should tell others, he wanted Xing Congjing.

What language should he use to tell others about his last night, when his brain was banging on the floor, he begged a phantom very earnestly, begging him not to leave.

How to say that after he opened his eyes, there was still a half sentence that was "I know that may die, I want to die with you".

He Tianxi was sitting by the flower bed, staring at the vehicles on the road and thinking—he, He Tianxi, the young master of the He family, has never been wronged since he was a child, he can get what he wants, he has never been scolded, he has always been Coaxed, coaxed by friends, coaxed by family members, coaxed by the whole world.

——Are you fucking mean?

"I'm fucking stupid." He Tianxi withdrew his gaze, looked down at his feet on the ground, there was a bug he didn't recognize slowly crawling past his feet, He Tianxi stared at it slowly from Climb your left foot in the direction of your right foot.

After the worm crawled out of his sight, he raised his hand to cover his face, and cried out. He cried so sadly that the tall building behind him seemed to collapse on his back On the ground, all the asphalt roads on the ground melted down and led him to the direction of the center of the earth, crying until he seemed to no longer feel his own existence.

When he texted He Jialin, tears dripped on the phone screen, his fingers trembled, and it took more than 20 minutes to type a short sentence before sending it.

"Sister, how do you say to die so as not to trouble others?"

When He Jialin's car drove up in front of him, He Tianxi had already recovered a lot, his eyes were red, and he was looking at the direction across the road with a dull gaze.

He Jialin opened the car door very quickly, walked in front of him with big strides, and looked down at him.

He Tianxi looked up at He Jialin. He blinked and told her in a low voice, "I want to die."

He Jialin's lips moved, but no words came out.

He Tianxi whispered, "It's not that I hate him, it's that he hates me."

"He hates me, tortures me, doesn't make me feel better while alive, and doesn't make me feel better when he dies."

He Tianxi was as cowardly as a ten-year-old boy who made a mistake.

"He hates me, I dare not like him."

"I dare not like him."

After a while, He Jialin raised her hand and touched He Tianxi's head, as if she was touching a child. She smiled very reluctantly, and pretended to be relaxed and said: "Although I don't know what happened between you What happened, but Xing Congjing is a smart man, he is not a fool like you."

"..."

"He's smarter than you, and knowing that you've been with him for so long means that you like him."

"he does not know."

"He is smarter than you, and he won't dislike you and have been with you for so long."

"He did it to torture me."

He Jialin laughed: "The scripts of third-rate novels write that a person stays with another person for so many years just to torture him."

He Tianxi's expression was so innocent that he almost looked like a child. He blinked, sniffed, and asked in a crying voice: "How do you know that he and I are not in a third-rate novel?"

As long as he hates me a little less, I wouldn't even dare to go to his funeral.

As long as he hates me a little less, I wouldn't dare to put a bouquet of flowers in front of his grave.

As long as he hates me a little less, I wouldn't dare to say "I don't blame you" or "I like you" to him for so many years.

It's not that after he died, he didn't even dare to think about the word "death" besides hating him.