living guilt

25

"You should find a place where there are many people to humiliate me."

After Bai Qingyuan left in anger, Shi Chen put the knife and apple back on the table, and rubbed his hands on his knees.He said calmly, "If you don't want to eat the apple, I won't peel it."

Shu Can laughed angrily, pointing to a bowl of apples on the table. "Cut it off, cut it all off, don't stop. This is what you should do, have you forgotten why you live here?"

"I know, you're afraid of being alone. It's always more lonely to feel guilty alone than to feel guilty together, brother Shu Can."

Shu Can finally understood the feeling that Shu Tingan wished to point at his nose and scold him, but didn't want to scold him. His nose flapped, and he sat down next to Shi Chen calmly for a moment, and found the remote control to watch the animal world.

He said softly, "You like apples, don't you? Then eat them."

He tapped Shi Chen's lips with the remote control. "If you can't eat it here, I'll stuff it somewhere else and let it eat it."

When Shi Chen found the job of moving fish at Heqiao Wharf, he had been hungry for four days. Don’t think it’s unrealistic. During those four days, he wandered around the town, and the kind of biscuits baked in a tin bucket are the cheapest. The sweet biscuits cost one yuan each, and he eats one every day.

On the fourth day of starvation, not only did he not feel that the smell of fish was unpleasant, but even if he was asked to lie in a pile of dead fish to eat, he could still eat.

Nothing, nothing.

He didn't become a beggar simply because he was lucky, because he was so lucky!So he didn't have time to become a beggar.

What is an apple.

What's more, there are only five or six apples in this pot, and they are not poisonous, so Shi Chen ate them very smoothly.

26.

Shi Chen's dinner was such a hearty meal of apples.He was eating, and Shu Can was watching.

Eating the apple didn't make him sick, but the damn headache made him want to bang his head against the wall.

He lay down after entering the room, he seldom consumed Shu Can's things, he neither ate too much of him nor used too much of his own.

He is here with Shu Can, and recently he thinks more and more about Shi Yun, Shi Yun, Shi Yun.

Every time Shu Can enters, he.They would call him Shi Yun. When he blindfolded Shi Chen's eyes, Shi Chen's world was dark. In that dark scene, Shi Chen seemed to be hypnotized by Shu Can. It was also Shi Yun, that face that was very similar to his own. Over time, he felt that in a few days, he should also grow into Shi Yun's face, so whether he is Shi Chen or Shi Yun, does it matter? What a difference.

As he thought about it, he actually asked the question.

Shu Can was so angry that she wanted to hit him, but she always said "You don't deserve it." Shi Chen was tired of hearing these words, and he no longer had any emotional ups and downs about these words.

He had a terrible headache, top-notch.He filled the sink in the bathroom with cold water and soaked his head, but it was useless, he just grabbed his hair and beat himself, but human instinct...is very stubborn, just like it is difficult for a person to sit in the bathtub. Drowning himself, it is also difficult for him to break his head.

27

Before going out, Shu Can shook Shi Chen up from the bed.Ask him to clean up, wipe everything in the house, mop the floor, take out the oil tank in the range hood in the kitchen and clean it, and replace the refrigerator with bamboo charcoal.

When he was saying that he had resigned his part-time job because of Shi Chen, Shi Chen just got out of bed, and staggered to the right. He closed his eyes and subconsciously grabbed Shu Can's arm, but Shu Can subconsciously waved to him. opened.

Shi Chen was on the ground for about ten seconds, his mind was blank, he couldn't hear or see, and he didn't have any thoughts.

Ten seconds later, Shu Can squatted in front of him, her eyes were saying, "What are you trying to do?"

Shi Chen's expression was very blank, his eyes rested on Shu Can's lips, he shook his head, stood up unsteadily, and said, "I didn't."

"You don't have anything?"

Shi Chen didn't speak.

28

When Shu Can issued a medical report in the afternoon, she suddenly remembered why she was looking for Chen Zhiping that day.

When he called Chen Zhiping, Chen Zhiping was still undergoing surgery.

The Central Hospital is not too far from the Affiliated Hospital. He counted the time, and when he entered the hall, he suddenly remembered the scene of seeing Shi Chen here that day.

Shi Chen, are you here to watch?But his hands were not treated at all.

Then what is he doing here.Are you also looking for Shi Yun's medical records?

impossible.

Even if he wanted to find the medical record of the car accident that day, it was difficult, and the traffic department refused to give it to someone. It was just that Shiyun's car accident was not sent to the nearby affiliated hospital that day, but to the central hospital. Very strange.

He had been working on his old senior for a long time, and Chen Zhiping said conservatively that he could only help him to have a look.It is basically impossible for Shi Chen to get in touch.

Did he also suspect that Shi Yun's car accident was caused by someone on purpose.

Chen Zhiping took half an hour out to eat sandwiches with him.

Shu Can conveniently bought a few more.

"How. Is there a record?"

Chen Zhiping is not young, he fiddled with the lens, coughed, and said vaguely, "I've seen it."

"I don't think you need to pursue the authenticity of the suspected car accident."

"Real?" Shu Can frowned and asked, "I'm asking, why did your hospital be dispatched when the car accident happened? I...I don't mean that your hospital is not good..."

"Shu Can." Chen Zhiping shook his head, "You are saying that our hospital is not good enough."

"No, maybe I'm sensitive, I just want to know the situation at that time, I asked someone to see the scene, that kind of accident is very difficult to die suddenly, at least...at least for a while...you can grab... "

Chen Zhiping sighed, "Shu Can, although I wasn't the one with the car, the accident was an accident, and the person died. You don't have any evidence to prove that he didn't die in a simple accident. What's the point of you fussing about it?"

"You want to avenge him? How? How? To whom? Shu Can, this is not the world of martial arts, be rational, his end is his end, don't stop at his end."

Chen Zhiping spoke seriously, but he only ate half of his sandwich, Shu Can frowned and listened to him.After almost hearing it, he heard another meaning for a short while, he quickly raised his head to look over, and grabbed Chen Zhiping's collar.

"You didn't save him!!"

Chen Zhiping looked away, and pulled his hand away cleverly.He took a deep breath, "Shu Can, it would be great if he chose the same path as you, but he and his father are on the same boat, and there are more than two of them on this boat, whoever is the heaviest will be Disembark, no one can save him."

"How could you not understand."

"Chen Zhiping..."

Chen Zhiping's eyes were complicated. He wanted to reach out and pat the other person's shoulder, but halfway he changed to holding up his glasses. He sat on the chair, his eyes were at the same level as the water level of the mineral water after he had drunk two sips, "I know you so well." For many years, I only felt sorry for such an ending, but Shu Can, the party with different political views still has to be divided into two parties, and the people who seek different people can only take different paths. He chose the same path as you, and he did not choose you."

"Mark my words, junior."

29.

Shu Can opened the door in a trance, and he didn't even pay attention to the darkness in the house.He flicked on the kitchen light casually, thinking he wanted to drink some water.

The refrigerator is still messy, and the bread bag on the dining table has not been sealed after being opened, and the crumbs that fell out at some time have dried up.Seeing the bread reminded him of the few leftover sandwiches he'd bought.

When he thought of Shi Chen, his eyes lit up.

Shu Can clearly ordered Guo Shichen to clean up the house, but he didn't do anything.Shu Can didn't know that when she saw that Shi Chen was asleep on the bed, she breathed a sigh of relief.

He called Shi Chen for a long time before Shi Chen woke up.He asked Shi Chen to take a bath with him, and Shi Chen understood what he meant.

Shi Chen was reluctant to do the enema because his right side of the lower abdomen always hurts.

But Shu Can said to him, "If you clean yourself up, I will forgive you for not doing anything today."

Shi Chen had no choice but to fill his stomach until it swelled up, he was in pain.But forgive the word, it sounds so nice.

Shi Chen didn't know what happened to Shu Can, he didn't cover his eyes today, and he forgot to call him Shi Yun, he didn't even speak, and kissed his back lightly.

Shi Chen in the back didn't know, he didn't even have time to hurt his head, and very suddenly lost all consciousness in an instant.

When he woke up inexplicably later, he was even more surprised.Shu Can lay beside him, with one hand on his neck, and fell asleep deeply.

Shi Chen didn't dare to wait for him to wake up and get angry beside him.

When Shi Yun was there, their shared bed was stolen. When Shi Yun was gone, they could sleep in the same bed openly, but never woke up in the same bed. Love, love, still It was stolen.

30.

When Shi Chen took a shower, he found that his lower abdomen was a little swollen. He was not fat. Compared with the other side, the right side seemed swollen. Shi Chen pressed it, and found that it was not this area that hurt.

He can't do anything, and he only knows two kinds of eggs, one is boiled with the shell on, and the other is to put the opened egg in a spoon and put it in water to boil it into a poached soft-boiled egg.

When he finished cooking three poached eggs, Shu Can woke up, and she didn't look in a bad mood.

In Shi Chen's plan, Shu Can ate two eggs, and he could eat as much as there was one left.

But Shu Can is a psychopath.

Shu Can ate up all three eggs.

"Why do you look so bad?"

"none of your business."

"It's none of my business, it's an eyesore."

"Then don't look at my face."

"If your face is not like Shi Yun, you think I will see it."

After listening to it, Shi Chen thought for a few seconds, Shu Can inexplicably felt that he shouldn't have said this early in the morning, but Shi Chen nodded and said, "You're right."

Shu Can was speechless, and continued to tell him before going out, "You must clean everything in the house for me today, and don't eat rice if you can't clean it. You really don't know how much you can eat. What did you eat before? Big? Can you eat like this when your family is rich?"

And after eating so much, I didn't see where the meat was at all.

"Fortunately, I used to eat instant noodles for lunch, and save the soup for dinner at night."

Shu Can thought he was joking, and poked his head with her hand, "Be careful."

31.

When Bai Qingyuan came last time, Shi Chen told him that if it didn't bother him, he hoped he could help him to go to school to get the books.

Bai Qingyuan is very trustworthy, this week he took all the books that Shi Chen had at school, the ones from his tutor, including the ones in the apartment where he lived, saved Shi Chen a lot of trouble.

Bai Qingyuan thought it was cold at home, so he turned on the indoor air conditioner to the maximum, and asked Shi Chen how he was doing carelessly on the sofa. Of course Shi Chen would not say bad, but he had nothing else to talk to Bai Qingyuan, Bai Qingyuan He was bluffing, suddenly took out his mobile phone, and said that he remembered to ask him to help him play games to get to the stars.

Half a year ago, Shi Chen was able to suppress at least half of the people in the area in this game, but he started to faint after 5 minutes after taking Bai Qingyuan's phone.

When the character in the game is moving, he can’t move his eyes flexibly. Whether it’s color or speed, he has to squint his eyes to narrow his eyes, but this can only make him uncomfortable for 10 minutes, like Motion sickness.

Bai Qingyuan turned up the air conditioner in the room even higher, and Shi Chen broke out in sweat, which made Bai Qingyuan amazed.He returned the phone to Bai Qingyuan, moved all the books into the room and started cleaning.

Shu Can asked him to wipe all the things in the house, but Shi Chen actually thought briefly about whether he should wipe the second floor.

He hadn't been to the second floor.So he went to wipe it.

On the second floor, there is Shucan's room, a large study room, a fitness room, and a very large living room and cloakroom.

He didn't touch a lot of things, and he was annoyed that he accidentally touched some memories of Shu Can and Shi Yun, which caused a lot of trouble.

There is a wooden ladder on the bookcase in the study room, Shi Chen saw a small box when he climbed up to wipe the top floor.

The box was unexpectedly familiar, and it opened with a light flick.

Shi Chen thought it was quite miraculous that one day he could find that Shu Can was keeping the things he gave him.

Group photo of elementary school graduation, group photo of middle school graduation.A handwritten birthday card, a very vulgar rectangular solid plastic crystal with fake roses inside, and two faded yellow fruit hairpins, which should be pineapples, which were given by other girls at the elementary school graduation ceremony. Chen's, Shi Chen gave Shu Can and Shi Yun one each, Shi Yun thought it was fun, and pinned both of them on Shu Can's collar.

A fair-skinned, tall, and good-looking boy in just jeans and a white T-shirt looks good.Shi Chen can still recall it now.

He took the little box down and wiped it clean.

Shi Chen should be such a person who is very ambitious by nature, but doesn't know how to conduct logical analysis in Chinese on every matter.

Just like he coveted Shu Can who belonged to Shi Yun, pestering him nonsensically, sleeping with him shamelessly.

When he saw this old box, he still didn't think about why it was hiding in the dark corner on the top floor that took him a long time to wipe it clean.

He was even a little happy. When almost all the hygiene was done, he looked at the box sacredly, and when Shu Can came back, he pushed it in front of him.

Shu Can just froze, "What is this?"

"While I was cleaning in the study..."

"You went to the study?"

Shi Chen nodded, "But I didn't touch your things."

"Then what is this?" Shu Can pointed at his small box, "Why did you touch my things?"

"This is mine..."

"What can I have here that is yours? Last time I stole the watch, and this time I moved my box? Don't you know that it is annoying to touch other people's things?"

Shi Chen struggled a bit to understand his words, he seemed to have almost understood what Shu Can meant, but felt a little unacceptable, "But you already hate me."

"Yes." Shu Can took the broken box in his hand, poured out the scattered things inside, and after seeing what it was, she sneered, "You are really annoying, you are everywhere. disgusting."

"That's right, but you like my face." Shi Chen knelt down to pick up things, completely ignoring Shu Can's distorted face. "You want to hate that I am everywhere, and you are afraid that you will never find a face like mine again. You must be suffering too."

"The person I want to see will never be seen again, but the person I hate has his face. Isn't it very painful?"

"shut up!"

Shi Chen was grabbed by Shu Can's hair and raised his face, he even smiled, Shi Chen never smiles, when he laughed, Shu Can's mind was flustered,

"Why should I shut up? Did I say something wrong? You are guilty of him because you slept with me. It has nothing to do with me. Why do you hold me and feel guilty together?"

Shu Can slapped her backhand.

Shi Chen turned his face to the side, and turned around to ask, "Can't I hate him? Can't I? Not only do I hate him, I also hate him. I hate that he has the same face as mine, hate..."

Shu Can kicked hard uncontrollably, the room was quiet, Shi Chen finally stopped talking.

32.

In physics, there is a famous paradox called the Achilles paradox.

He talked about a tortoise that walked 1000 meters first, and a person who was chasing after it at ten times its speed, but this person could never catch up with that tortoise.In multidimensional time and infinite space, he can not be a paradox.So this story is out of this world.

But the same thing, if it doesn't have a physical explanation, it's not a paradox.

Shi Chen admitted that he would never catch up with that turtle.A tortoise doesn't have to travel a thousand meters, and he doesn't grow into a tortoise at ten times the speed.If you can't catch up, you can't catch up. This is not a matter of time and space.

Turtles and people are not a paradox.He and Shu Can are the paradox, the eternal paradox.