Tyrant and his crying baby bottle

Er Bao almost held his breath, covered his ears and didn't dare to say a word. He obviously didn't know what pain was, but he seemed to feel a little pain.

It's over, the fire-headed army who suffered a thousand knives cut off the ears of the Holy Lord!The whole grocery store will be closed, the squirrels will be turned into roast chickens, and the yellow cattle will be cut up, stewed, braised, steamed, and chopped into eight pieces!

Er Bao started to breathe rapidly, pinched the middle of the person hard, and asked Zang Gong, "Then do you think, do you think my ears are soft?"

Zang Gong watched him save himself with great interest, held back his belly cramps from laughing, and replied: "I see that not only your ears are soft, but also your mouth is weak, you should cut off your ears first and then sew up your small mouth, and you can't do it again later." Chewing on other people's tongue."

Hearing what he said, Er Bao curled his mouth and howled again, as if his buttocks were slipping, he slipped out and shrank under the table.He was muttering something, and after careful identification, he realized that he was refuting Zang Gong, saying that he did not chew his tongue, nor was he soft on his ears, so he should not slit his mouth and cut his ears.

Seeing that the little fool was really scared, Zang Gong held his chin to reflect on whether he was too fierce.He asked the scalper: "Have I played too much?"

The scalper shook his head solemnly, "It's not your fault, it's Er Bao who is so stupid that he really believed that you cut off the ear of the Holy Master. Moo ha ha ha ha! Oh moo, I laughed so hard."

The scalper thumped the squirrel after laughing, "Are you joking?"

squirrel:"……"

"Okay, okay, don't cry, the magic machine will be collapsed by you." Cang Gong grabbed Er Bao's braids and pulled him out from under the table, and sat on his lap, noticing that he was crying. My whole body was stiff, and I couldn't help but let out another snort.

He remembered that his mother concubine had given him a puppy when he was young, it was three months old, and he was afraid that it would be very difficult.Wherever it is placed, it will stop there, and it will be in whatever posture it is in. The joints on the small claws seem to be rusted, and it will be in whatever shape it is pinched. Only when pinching its meat pads will there be powder. Tender nails poke out, and can automatically spring back after being released.

Cang Gong's heart softened, and he lightly slapped Er Bao's only soft buttocks, and said, "Silly Er Bao, how can I cut off the ear of the Holy Lord? Just kidding you."

Erbao was sobbing so hard that he couldn't help himself, and he didn't dare to run away from his lap, he just asked intermittently: "That, that, is, who, who's?"

Zang Gong said: "I don't know, I found it from Xin Liwa. It must be very important to see that he soaked it in plastic wrap on purpose. Don't worry, I just used it as a talisman, in case he brings someone to us in the future. , we can’t do without a bargaining chip.”

The scalper laughed even louder, saying that Erbao was as timid as a squirrel, not only timid but also brainless.Erbao stopped howling, but he didn't dare to believe Huotoujun's words easily, and still consulted the squirrel with his eyes.

The squirrel really wanted to pull out the cow's tongue, but it had already succumbed to the power of the Huotou army, so it also grinned: "Haha, yes, hahahaha."

Erbao was inexplicably laughed at by it, and for a moment didn't know if he made a big fuss or everyone went crazy.

Boss Hui, do you blink if you are threatened?

The squirrel didn't blink, and began to teach earnestly: "Er Bao, I advised you to wait for the general to come back together, but you want to play petty temper, is it appropriate?"

Er Bao was speechless: "I..."

The squirrel said: "Okay, this page has been turned. The general is our own, a family. A family must live in harmony and trust each other, understand?"

Er Bao was stunned: "..."

Erbao thinks that Boss Hui is serious.

Its expression is so sincere.

No one was on his side, so Erbao obediently agreed.When running away, it was indeed supported by a sense of fear. Now that I think about it, is it true that the Huotou army is really allowed to fend for itself?The life force of the benefactor is still in his stomach, so if one is damaged, the other will be damaged, one dead body and two lives.

At this time, Huotoujun picked up another object from behind, untied the cloth bag, and threw it at the foot of the bench.He put his arms around Erbao shamelessly, resting his chin on Erbao's shoulder, and said, "I even brought a gift for Boss Hui, let's see if he likes it."

Erbao saw that it was the arrow eagle, alive.

Cang Gong seemed to be coaxing a child, his sharp eyes were firmly locked on Er Bao, but his tone was extremely gentle, "Didn't you want to install a pair of wings for Boss Hui, I think the size is about the same, so I specially picked one with beautiful features. How about it, how does it compare with Fat Dujuan? If Boss Hui likes it, he can also be raised as a second wife."

"Second Room?" Er Bao looked back, feeling a little annoyed, "General, how could you provoke Boss Hui like this?"

Zang Gong looked innocent, "Is this a provocation? What does it matter to have a second wife? Today's Holy Master was born by a second wife. Maybe he will marry a second wife, a third wife, a ten wife and an eight wife in the future. Anyway... it's better than having a second wife." Married, it would be much better to be scolded as having broken sleeves."

The scalper laughed again inappropriately, and said, "Who is Duanxiu? Why don't you come to Erbao to treat him, Erbao specializes in this."

Er Bao frowned wildly, "Can you shut your mouth? I really want to slap you now! Boss Hui, tell me, is it provocative for him to ask you to raise a second wife? Everyone knows that you love Fat Dujuan."

But the squirrel said: "Don't be ignorant, just provoke me, the general is doing it for my own good."

Erbao: "Boss Gray!"

"Okay, don't make up random generals." Squirrel reprimanded Erbao.It's pitiful that its heart is bleeding but it can only hold it by itself, and it has to show a smiling face to the dog general.

It said: "However, no matter how cheap an eagle is, it is still a bird. A bird has the dignity and bottom line of a bird. It is not something we squirrels can marry just by saying. If you accept it with good intentions, the general should take it back."

The scalper laughed again, "The fat cuckoo is also a bird! Hahahaha!"

Squirrel: "That's right, you can't marry that too, haha!"

Seeing them laughing together, Er Bao suspected that he was the one with the crazy ball.So the human ear was not cut by the Hutou army, and the proposal to marry the second wife was not a provocation. It was me who was wrong?

……

On this trip, not only did he fail to achieve success, but the second treasure paid a lot of money.He decided to do business honestly and never run around again.

Two customers came in the morning, and after the consultation, they made six to seven hundred cash. Er Bao threw the change to Zang Gong and told him to buy a plaque of similar quality, and then asked the old scholar who wrote the letter to inscribe a few words.He's about to start promoting his organ bank.

Cang Gong was lazy and didn't want to go, so he just leaned on the counter and flipped through "Shan Hai Jing", crossing his legs like an old man.

Er Bao said: "You are my buddy, you don't do this or that, how can I give you a salary?"

Cang Gong said: "Haven't I already fought several fights for you."

Erbao said: "This is a shop run by me with a small capital, not a casino, and you are not a thug, and you are not in the job of fighting!"

Said he was useless, Er Bao took the money back and went to buy a plaque by himself.After finishing these things, it was already past noon, and Er Bao bought a few more boxes of meals and brought them back. As soon as he walked to the door of the shop, he saw a line of patrolmen going from house to house asking questions.

Er Bao was startled, his intuition was not good, he got into the house with the plaque in his hand, and then put it out of business.

Seeing that he was out of breath, Cang Gong asked, "Why did it open for half a day and then close again? Have you made enough money?"

Er Bao said: "There is a strict investigation outside, I'm afraid it's me!"

Zang Gong said, "What do you want to find out?"

Erbao said: "Of course it's about going to the capital. I got a recommendation from the yamen, but I failed to see the Holy Mother. This is a crime of deceiving the emperor."

Zang Gong said: "It's not that serious, how can we find out hundreds of doctors."

Er Bao said: "Then I'll check you, the ear in the glass bottle, it's really not you who cut someone else's?"

Zang Gong said, "Oh, it's your investigation."

Erbao became worried, and light-colored plush beans formed on the two delicate eyebrows.The Huotoujun saw it in his eyes and talked happily - he had never met such a funny little fool, he really regarded himself as a dish.

"Okay, don't be nervous, I'm here to check the household registration." Huotoujun said.

"Why do you check your household registration?" For a moment, Erbao suddenly understood something again, and leaned up to him and said, "I understand, I just checked your account. You got into trouble and were finally sued!"

The Huotou Army didn't care, and said, "It's also possible."

Erbao was even more worried, looking up to the sky and lamenting that it was bad, that Huotoujun was an outsider, and he hadn't registered with the yamen, what should he say when he was found? "

Huotoujun smiled and said: "It's up to you. If you want to sell me, you can just confess it. If you don't want to sell me, you can hide me first. But I have something to say first. If this is caught by the yamen, verify it." My identity will be charged as a deserter, and I will not be able to guarantee the life and death of your benefactor."

The Huotou army has no heart, so they use this set to blackmail Erbao.Er Bao only dared to mutter and complain a few words, but he had to surrender obediently when the disaster came.

Huotoujun doesn't feel indebted, he has his own principles of doing things.

Although Xiao Erbao values ​​love and righteousness, he can't bet his life and death on love and righteousness.The last time he did this, he had already paid the price with his life.

He has seen through that the strongest relationship between people is the relationship of interests, why bother to make emotional investment in things that can be solved with threats.

After a while, the patrolling soldiers found out the door of Quanren's grocery store. Erbao pushed Zang Gong into the ice cellar, wrapped loosely in a quilt, and listened carefully to the movement outside.

As he expected, he came to check the account.

The head of a country was blocked in the door and cut off his ears. It has to be investigated, but it cannot be clearly investigated. After all, it is a scandal.Checking the household registration is a relatively conservative and effective way to track down the murderer. A person who has come back from the dead cannot obtain a household registration, and no one dares to cover it up.

Emperor Hengwen is vicious and vicious, but he is not stupid.

Coincidentally, Tibetan Gong was also waiting for this opportunity.

The patrolman stepped into the house without a single word of greeting, and went straight to the point.Erbao laid out all his documents and poured water for them, but they didn't drink.

One of them asked, "Is there anyone else besides you?"

Erbao said: "No. My uncle came to play a few days ago, and he also went back to his hometown this morning. Mr. Jun, can you ask why the household registration is suddenly checked? Why don't people from our local yamen come?"

The other party said coldly: "Don't ask if you shouldn't ask."

Tibetan bow knew it well.The linkage of government offices in various places is linkage, but in order to prevent favoritism, the linkage adopts a cross-style, Army A checks Land B, and Army B checks Land C.

After a long while, the door of the ice cellar opened, Zang Gong came out from inside, and asked Er Bao: "Everyone has left?"

Er Bao said, "Let's go. We've checked all the people who can breathe in the whole street. Look at their posture. If the livestock can talk, they will be arrested if they don't have a registered permanent residence."

Zang Gong said: "It will come again in a few days, so be careful."

Er Bao curled his lips, secretly thinking that the Huotou army used to be alarmist.

Zang Gong asked Er Bao to stay in the shop, took the bent bow and went out, chose a high slope as a stronghold, and stood on the top of the slope to observe the army.

They were a little far away, but they could still see clearly that the soldiers were not wearing local official uniforms but white armors, and they were holding spears instead of swords.

The corners of Zang Gong's mouth raised slightly, and he concluded that this group of people still had petrol guns and thunderbolts pinned to their waists, because they were not Yamen soldiers, but the Central Army.

Among the Central Seventh Army, the one wearing white armor happens to be the Fifth Army, but Zang Gong is not sure whether the current Fifth Army is led by Cheng Ming, or who is leading the team to investigate today, so he can't rush to contact .

He went down the high slope, followed the direction of the column of troops, cautiously avoided crowded places, and circled around the assembly point.

Not far from the gate of the Yamen, a six-wheeled chariot was started, and the steam was billowing, covering the people sitting in the car.

Zang Gong looked at it from another angle, but he could only glimpse the red tassels on the opponent's helmet and the military badge on the shoulder armor, so he could tell that he was joining the army or a lieutenant general.

Cheng Ming is the commander-in-chief of the first army. This person is not him and cannot be contacted.So Zang Gong was about to leave, but he heard a familiar voice coming from the gate of the yamen.

"Today, the Kunlun boundary has been checked. Although there is nothing to be gained, two habitual theft criminals who have been on the run for many years have been found. Check again in a few days. During this period, the registration of people who come and go must be done. Residents in villages and towns are not allowed to stay at home. Outsiders, the inn arranges to check the night."

Zang Gong paused, hid in a corner, and stared at the man for a while.

White armor, silver helmet, handsome face like a scholar, holding a heavy knife, who is not Cheng Ming.

For a while, his blood boiled, and Tibetan Gong almost walked out.Thinking about it again, no, I can't say how loyal these people brought by Cheng Ming are, let alone whether the soldier or lieutenant next to him is the eyeliner planted by Emperor Hengwen.

Zang Gong turned back the same way, opened some distance, and when Cheng Ming was about to get into the car, he took out the bow and buckled the string, and shot a stone out.

Cheng Ming became vigilant when he heard the sound, and turned to the back of the car to check.On the side of the chariot made of black iron, there is a sunken scratch. It seems that an adult can only make it with a hard axe, but it is an ordinary stone that caused the dent.

Although the stone is hard but brittle, colliding with black iron is like hitting a stone with an egg. The person who strikes must be extremely fast and powerful to keep the stone from breaking.He has lived for more than 20 years, and he has never seen anyone whose fingers and wrists can reach this level, unless it is... with a bow.

"Master Cheng Ming, the general will send someone to search this place!"

"No need!" Cheng Ming raised his hand to stop him, and picked up the stone from the ground, "The stone was crushed by the wheels and collapsed. It's a trivial matter. Don't delay returning to the city to return to life."

"But my lord, the dent looks..."

"You decide?"

"The last will not dare!"

Cheng Ming got into the car and ordered the soldiers to drive back to the city immediately without even looking back.But he held the stone tightly, and the heat in his palm almost melted the stone.

At this time, Erbao had already hung up the plaque, and it was hung directly under the "Quanren Grocery Store" as an auxiliary plaque.

Someone came to him and asked him what he meant by the organ bank, and he explained one by one, saying that from now on, everyone can sign a contract with the whole person grocery store to donate certain tissues or organs from their own bodies to those in need.

Everyone laughed at Erbao for being stupid in doing business. Who would make such selfless dedication, and no one would have an extra spare part.

Erbao explained that this is called an equivalent exchange, and now it is just a contract, and the donation date can be chosen by oneself.Those that can recover, such as blood and bone marrow, can be donated at any time, and vital organs are donated after accidental death.Correspondingly, if you or your family members need it in the future, you can also use the contract to exchange for tissues or organs of equal value donated by others for free.

Er Bao spoke like official Chinese, and everyone didn't understand, so he gave an example of Huotoujun's kidney.It is said that a person has two kidneys, donating one is not a problem, but it can save those who have lost both kidneys.So some people laughed at Erbao for being fat, and wanted to cheat his uncle's kidneys, but beware that his aunt would not spare him.

One person said: "Actually, this plan sounds good, so can I sign a contract to donate my own heart and liver?"

Erbao said, "Of course, do you want to sign?"

The other party said: "Sign it, sign it now and change it now, can't you?"

Er Bao was confused, "What do you mean by changing now?"

The other party laughed loudly, "My daughter-in-law is my darling, I want to try someone else's darling!"

Everyone laughed and scolded this guy for being shameless, for daring to make fun of his wife.Fortunately, this man was famous in Kunlun Street for his naughty mouth and loud voice, so he was immediately picked up by his wife by the ear.Er Bao spat at him, cursed and took back the agreement paper.

Until it got dark, none of the people who joined in the fun dared to sign, and they dispersed after the trouble.Er Bao moved the small table back to the shop, drank a glass of water, and planned to close and go home.

It just so happened that the Huotou army came back, humming a song, and threw a fluffy little yellow rabbit with lop ears into Erbao's arms.

Er Bao hurriedly wrapped his arms around and asked, "What are you doing?"

Zang Gong said: "I'm in a good mood, I bought a rabbit for you to play with."

Er Bao carried the rabbit back to Nanxi Village, held his face and looked at it for half an hour.When the dinner was served, the squirrel chased him to take the rabbit away, so Er Bao got a chicken coop made of rattan, put the little yellow rabbit in it, and requisitioned a small quilt from the squirrel.

The squirrel was very dissatisfied, and said brokenly: "It's good now, another mouth comes out, and the family that is not rich at first will make the situation worse."

Zang Gong said: "What do you mean by 'again'? Boss Hui didn't criticize Sang and scold Huai, did he?"

The squirrel didn't make a sound, but Er Bao said, "Don't argue, it only needs to eat a la carte leaves to be satisfied. Look at how cute it is, the poop it pulls out is all small balls."

The squirrel kicked Erbao's knee, "Eat!"

At night, the moon and stars were thin, and a mosquito-trap lamp radiated warm yellow light outside the door. Under the light, thin smoke rose and floated into the room along the crack of the door.

The little yellow rabbit with a chubby belly got out of the chicken coop after being fed, and snuggled into Er Bao's arms with a bouncing jump.It arched here and there with its nose, but Er Bao just groaned, turned over completely, and almost pressed it under him.Fortunately, a big hand picked it up in the dark, and threw it into the chicken coop and covered it with a black cloth.

After a while, the smoke became heavier, and Erbao couldn't even turn over.The oil lamp was lit, and the man with a wet cloth on his face hugged Er Bao who was laying on the floor onto the bed, and covered him with a quilt like a chicken coop.After opening the door, the man ushered in another man.

The man was wearing a black night suit, holding a heavy knife in his hand, and suddenly knelt down with a plop, "My lord, I'm late!"

The author has something to say: If there are comments, hey Sen, thank you little treasures!Big kiss!