I want to be your white moonlight

My mother was very grateful. At first, Huo Sirong took Lin Yan away, and my parents complained about him for a long time. Later, I vaguely found out that my brother was doing well, and they were all relieved.

Huo Sirong didn't eat a few mouthfuls. I thought he disliked our simple food, so my mother and I didn't persuade him much.

After the meal, I helped my mother clean up the dishes.

My mother is not in good health, so she rested early.I was tidying up the kitchen, Huo Sirong came over, looked down condescendingly and said, "How have you been these few years?"

I was so flattered, I never thought that one day, I would even be cared about by him.I thought about it, nodded and said, "Very good."

I lowered my head and continued to wipe the bowl. He probably stared at me for a while, and said inexplicably, "I've grown taller." I hummed in a low voice as an answer.

"Your father is dead." Huo Sirong asked bluntly, "What does your family do for a living?"

My mother helps others to look after the stalls, and I occasionally go out to do odd jobs. Actually, it’s okay. Our family still has subsidies from the government, and my tuition fees are all waived. Coupled with the savings left by my father before his death, it is enough for me to live smoothly. After high school.

But I didn't tell him the question and answer. In fact, I didn't like his emotionless sentence "Your father is dead", it was too cold-blooded.

But some things didn't fall on him, he couldn't understand, it's normal, I'm not angry.

It was only later that I realized that Huo Sirong's indifference to the word father was entirely because his father was not a fuel-efficient lamp, and he lacked empathy for the feelings of father and son.

But at that time, I just turned around and answered him with a smile: "Do you think I am young and handsome? I was taken care of by a rich woman."

Huo Sirong seemed to believe it. He stood behind me and looked at me for a long time until I walked out of the kitchen and returned to the bedroom with a fruit plate after washing up.

Huo Sirong is standing in front of the photo, which is a group photo of me and my brother.He turned his back to me. I don't know whether he is looking at my brother in the photo or at me, but I think he is looking at my brother when he was young.

Everything that happened afterwards, I dare to swear with both hands and feet, was all accidents, absolutely accidents!

It's a shame to say that I had a nocturnal emission once, and the object of the dream was not him at that time, but after that day, it became Huo Sirong.I'm scared.

But I also know that there is no me in Huo Sirong's eyes, only my brother. To him, I am just a handy object, small and humble like an ant, he is so golden and dazzling, no matter what They look down on me.

It doesn't matter, I don't care.

Huo Sirong gave me Wenyao's number, and I would call him every other week, and this situation continued until I graduated from high school.

On the day I got the admission notice, Huo Sirong took me to the old house of the Huo family.

The room was too big, I panicked and got lost in it, so I followed Huo Sirong closely, and he led me into a spacious bedroom, the bed was so big that I couldn't see the edge.

Huo Sirong said in an orderly tone, "Go take a bath."

I seemed to be aware of something unusual, and went into the bathroom attached to the bedroom as I said.

After I finished washing, Huo Sirong went in. I was sitting in the armchair, my heart was beating fast, and I thought in a daze: How about running away.

I don't know what it's like to do this kind of thing with a girl, because at that time I just dared to keep my mouth open. In fact, I would blush nervously when I pulled a girl's little hand.

He Siyuan once commented: "Innocent, so innocent!"

At that time, I didn't know it would be so painful, although it seemed to be conceivable, it didn't feel very good.But it seems that in Huo Sirong's arms, all pains related to the body can be forgiven. What's more, I don't know whether Huo Sirong cares about me as much as I like him.

Some things are destined to be wishful thinking, but I don't want to let it go, I naturally ignore the fact that Huo Sirong cares more about my brother, and I am full of wishful thinking about how he thinks of me.

So until he took a break, I counted them one by one with my fingers.

How I wish he was nicer to me.

I don’t ask for much, just ask him to hold me in his arms like when I was ten years old, and said not too softly nor coldly: “Forget it, go to sleep.”

Definitely delusional.

I put out my own conditions, but he didn't respond, even very cold, I was a little angry, so I broke the jar and said, "You despise me, I know, you think our old Lin's climbing you is like climbing a high branch You think, I am not good enough for you, I deserve to please you like a toy. But if it weren't for you, who would dare to treat me like this?"

I looked into Huo Sirong's eyes, he didn't agree to me, whether the answer was good or not, he neither agreed nor refused, he only used a very indifferent look and condescending stare.

He was impatient.

I turned my head to avoid his cold eyes, and sighed in my heart, forget it.

After that, he was more vicious than before.I grabbed the sheets and kept breathing, I couldn't speak, and I didn't want to moan, so I bit the pillow tightly, and let Huo Sirong tear me into pieces.

For about three or four days, as soon as I hit the ground, I felt pain in my back and legs, and I felt uncomfortable all over.Huo Sirong was very busy, he left and asked Wen Yao to take care of me.

Wen Yao looked at the mess in the bedroom, the smile on his face froze, he walked to me in silence, and said softly: "Little friend, why bother, you can refuse him."

I thought about it and said, "It has nothing to do with you."

Wen Yao never persuaded me again, maybe he was laughing at me from the bottom of his heart that I deserved it.

He really deserved it, he didn't know what to do, did he really think he could climb the high branch of Huo Sirong?

Lin Xiang, you are such an idiot.

Huo Sirong likes Lin Yan.

On the afternoon of the first semester of my freshman year, I sat on a chair at the bus stop, watching people coming and going, and the busy traffic. In the spacious and crowded world, I suddenly felt extremely lonely and desolate.

I thought to myself, Huo Sirong, how can you be worthy of my liking.

But I like this kind of thing, like a person who knows whether drinking water is warm or cold.

Huo Sirong doesn't like me, so he can't force him to come.

That night, Wen Yao took me to the hotel.Huo Sirong was standing in front of the French window smoking a cigarette, his back looked so lonely amidst the smoke.

for what?For the unobtainable Lin Yan?

I quietly walked behind him, took the cigarette butt from Huo Sirong's hand, put it in the ashtray to extinguish it, then turned around and hugged him into his arms: "I don't like you smoking, stop smoking."

Huo Sirong patted the back of my head: "You bastard, you've grown up so much."

Maybe just sigh for no reason.

We didn't talk much, soon Huo Sirong took me into the bathroom, and what happened next was nothing more than those things, whether it was boring or painful, in the final analysis, I was willing and overwhelmed.Huo Sirong quickly carried me back to the bedroom, and I felt my eye sockets heat up.

I really wanted to ask him, what is the relationship between your brother and you, but in the end I didn't ask, forget it, I dare not, I don't have the guts, pretend I don't know, forget it.

I was so tired and out of breath that day, I said, "Sir, a girl confessed to her two days ago, and I like her very much, do you think I should agree to her?"

I still remember the girl's name so far, her name is Yanni, I remember her because I seem to see myself in her.

I told him deliberately, I was imagining whether Huo Sirong would break his calm and rigid expression, and even warn me a little angrily: "No, you are already with me."

No, I thought too much, Huo Sirong just said, whatever you want.

Ah, whatever I want.

is it?

In fact, I have already rejected that girl. On the day she said she liked me, I answered her very seriously, I have someone I like, sorry, I can't lie to you.

Yanni was very sad, the sadness was the same as when I found out that Huo Sirong didn't like me.

From then on, I held the Buddhist attitude of "Let's go with fate". When Huo Sirong called me, I would go and go to bed when he went. The more times he fucked me, I got used to the pain, so that I could just ignore the pain of my body. discomfort.

Even later, once, the Wenchuang Society asked me to publish a manuscript, and Huo Sirong happened to be back in Ningbei again, and he asked me to go, so I had to go.

So I lay on the bed thinking about the outline and the plot, and took out my phone to take notes from time to time. Huo Sirong pressed me to make piston movements, thinking about his Lin Yan in my mind.

We looked like we didn't take each other seriously.Only I know that I like him, I like him terribly.But other than sex, we really, really didn't have anything else to do.

Early the next morning, Huo Sirong took out my living expenses for this month from his wallet, 1000 RMB, and ten Grandpa Mao cards. He casually threw the wad of cash at my side.One floated to my face, covering my eyes, and I took a slight breath.

I waited for a while, and then I heard the sound of the door opening, and then I took the Grandpa Mao away from my eyes, endured the faint tingling pain, and limped into the bathroom.

When things accumulate to a certain level, they will always explode.

Perhaps the turning point came in my junior year, when He Siyuan returned to Ningbei and Qianqian fell ill. I had no extra money, I sent some of my savings to my mother, and then spent a lot of money on books. In fact, my pockets were empty.

But I can't leave Qianqian alone, He Siyuan is my good brother, and Qianqian calls me Brother Lin.

I ran to the underground parking lot to find Huo Sirong, and when he came to Xingzhi, I negotiated terms with him in a very unpleasant manner, hoping that he would lend me money.

Huo Sirong got angry, I shouldn't have said it, said, I know you like brother.

Huo Sirong became furious, I borrowed money for emergency surgery, and successfully angered Huo Sirong.

I got into a fight with the gangster, got stabbed, and went to the hospital.

Senior sister Gao Yuyan came to visit me, and Huo Sirong got angry again.

During that time, he always got angry for no reason, and I vaguely guessed that something might have happened.

I lay in the hospital for more than half a month, and went back to school to prepare for the end of the semester. Huo Sirong didn't contact me for a full month, and I didn't have time to talk to him because of the heavy schoolwork.

The senior sister said, Huo Sirong was jealous, I didn't dare to think in this direction, I thought he wouldn't care who I was with or what kind of girlfriend I had.

I'm just a tool for him to vent his desire, who cares what the tool man thinks?

That night, Wen Yao called and asked me to wait. He said that my husband wanted to see me.

I waited for a long time, but I didn't wait for Huo Sirong to come, I only waited for the unkind senior who came.