letter of commitment

Accumulated depression becomes a disease, and there is no cure for medicine and stone.

Day and night change, summer goes and autumn comes.

The letter sent to Yanyang from afar has not been heard yet, and it is not known whether it has been delivered.

Zhao Jinlu knew very well that even if she made amends now, the former high-spirited person would no longer exist, and she was the one who pushed her into this desperate situation step by step.

***

"quack!"

The porcelain fragments that fell to the ground are enough to illustrate her attitude, and the people below buried their heads even lower.

"Princess, please calm down! Allow me to stay for a few more days, let me go back and study the classics, and I will definitely find a way to heal..." "Princess, Master Shen is awake!"

These words seemed to be like a trickle flowing from a river bed that had been dry for a long time in a severe drought. Looking forward to gaining something, Zhao Jinhu suppressed her anger and walked quickly into the inner room. Shen Qingshu was sitting up and drinking with the help of a palace servant. tea.

"Do you still feel uncomfortable?"

Zhao Jinlu exchanged movements with the palace servants, and after she was satisfied with drinking, she took out a silk handkerchief and asked softly to wipe off the water stains left on the corners of her lips.

"Eyes." Shen Qingshu replied hoarsely.

"Hurry up and call the imperial doctor in!" After hearing Shen Qingshu's words, Zhao Jinlu believed it was true, and anxiously shouted to the palace servants beside him.

"No need, just seeing the princess makes me feel uncomfortable everywhere, especially my eyes."

Hearing this, Zhao Jinlu was startled, her face turned pale instantly, and she clenched the corner of the silk handkerchief tightly with her slender hands, feeling weak and exhausted, her heart filled with sadness, but she was used to this man's barbed words, so she deserved it, didn't she?

"Your body is not in good shape yet, let the imperial doctor take a look at it for you."

The imperial doctor had already entered, and Zhao Jinlu gave up her seat. The dizziness when she got up almost brought her to the ground, but a little palace maid who was waiting at the side helped her in time.

"I'm fine, just continue to diagnose her pulse."

Seeing the imperial doctor's movements, Zhao Jinlu said that she was only caused by lack of sleep. Since that day, Shen Qingshu vomited blood, and she would be unconscious for a few days from time to time. She was afraid that the King of Hades would take her away like this, so she guarded her day and night, ignoring herself. It also needs rest.

After the diagnosis, it was just a deficiency of qi and blood, the crux of the problem was nothing more than a heart disease, and the heart disease still needs to be treated with heart medicine, this is the difficulty.

*months ago*

The rain is always the most opportune time, and a few days after returning to the palace, there was a thunderstorm outside, and the person who was trapped in a nightmare suddenly woke up.

"Horse, prepare the horse." As soon as she woke up, Shen Qingshu struggled to get up, muttering the same words over and over again. The palace man brought the fruit to meet her needs, but she didn't know what it meant, and she was already limping on her own. When he reached the outer diameter of the hall, he took the reins.

"Where are you going? You can't move around now!" Zhao Jinlu ran in front of her and stopped her.

"Muchu, I dreamed about her. She is still fine. She is waiting for me to pick her up somewhere. I have to find her."

"Looking for her? You already know..."

"No, that's fake! She asked me to find her." Shen Qingshu was quite excited, and pretended to get on the horse, forgetting that it was difficult for her to even walk around now, and her fingers were also wrapped.Guozi hadn't seen her owner for a long time, and when she saw her, she walked back and forth excitedly. Seeing that she was struggling and unable to get on the horse, she knelt down and sat on the ground for her convenience.

Shen Qingshu's pale face rarely showed a bit of joy, he gently caressed the fruit and was about to get on his horse and leave, how could Zhao Jinlu agree, the slightest difference in her current physical condition would be fatal, if she was caught in this downpour How could this fragile body bear the disease?

"You can't go!" Zhao Jinlu held her tightly, but her bony body suddenly gained strength, and she couldn't hold her back, but she pushed her to the ground instead.

"Don't worry about Ben Gong, go and chase her back quickly, don't let her get into trouble."

Shen Qingshu had already driven away, those dazed palace talents turned around and chased after him in the rain.

Shen Qingshu knew that the guards at the palace gate would not let her go, but she became excited for no reason, not even the cold rain could dampen her enthusiasm, she refused to admit that she was deceiving herself, she really did see Mu Chu Yes, in the dream, Mu Chu was waving to her and calling her, as if the next moment, she would be able to walk out of the palace gate to meet Mu Chu.

She rode her horse and galloped all the way through the long corridors, dodging the palace people in fright, except for those who were chasing after her, no one dared to stop her, and her figure followed the bumps of the horse's back. The slow breathing became heavier unconsciously, and there were bursts of cramps in her heart to warn her that she was going to the limit!

"Master Shen, stop quickly, stop quickly!"

These people are really annoying, why do they want to stop me?As Shen Qingshu thought about it, the vermilion palace gate was within reach, but after all, she overestimated that she was no more than a mortal body, the energy stored in her body had been exhausted, her head began to feel dizzy, and her body gradually became limp down.

"Persist a little longer, we're almost there, we're going to see her." Shen Qingshu encouraged herself, just as she approached Gongmen Guozi and stopped the horse's hooves, her eyes suddenly sank, and her body lost weight uncontrollably and fell from the horse's back Going down, another mouthful of blood was spit out, and she watched in a haze that the large area of ​​blood was quickly diluted by the rain. Compared with the tense appearance of the palace servants, she just laughed a few times indifferently, turned over slowly, let the rain I poured it on my face, thinking that this would somewhat lift my spirits, my eyelids opened and closed, and after I fell into a warm embrace, my eyes were completely dark.

"Muchu, take me away..."

However, when the news reached Zhao Qiaomu, Zhao Qiaomu thought she was a wounded person, so he restrained the thought of beheading her, and suffered from those palace servants.

As soon as I opened my eyes, it was night, the rain seemed to have stopped, and the bright moonlight could be seen outside the window through the curtain.

Zhao Jinlu had always cared for her and put her life above her own. This time she woke up and didn't go up to check on her as usual, as if she was about to face a heavy rain, her face was gloomy, waiting for the palace people to retreat , she sat down next to her and said coldly: "Mu Chu's fate is fate, isn't your fate not fate?"

Shen Qingshu didn't answer her words, he squeezed his chapped lips, and turned his head inward.

"She was dead. I sent people to kill her. She failed to escape. She was slandered and fell off the cliff, and then entered the belly of the beast together with the bones. Tell me, was she very scared at the time? Will I think of you?" Zhao Jinlu seemed to be talking about a trivial matter, and at the end he laughed, a terrifying laugh.

"So you want to let her go, and you love her so much? But Shen Qingshu, you can't do it. Your life is what I want back from Lord Yan. It doesn't belong to you anymore. Before I got tired of you, you didn't Rights determine your life and death, you can hate Ben Gong, even kill Ben Gong, but you dare not, so you can only give up yourself, and this is the only way you can do it.”

Still no response, Zhao Jinlu stretched out his hands to hold her face, and said softly to the eyes filled with anger, "Actually, it was you who killed Mu Chu, your cowardice and worry killed her."

Shen Qingshu couldn't calm down anymore, and suddenly grabbed Zhao Jinlu's neck, "That's not the case, you are talking nonsense! Mu Chu is not dead, not dead!" The veins on the back of his hand bulged, and he exerted more force, Zhao Jinlu didn't struggle, and his face turned red Still can't help but sneer: "You are cowardly, you dare not face it, you just run away, and you are the one who killed Mu Chu."

"No, no, shut up, shut up!"

Birds chirping in autumn, dawn broke in the sky, and her head was still not sober. Shen Qingshu raised her hand and touched her face, her palm was moist. She herself felt in a trance. There is a hint in the text that Mu Chu is dead, no, no, that's what Shen Qingshu told herself. She thought about asking Ling Luoqian to understand, but they didn't want to see her at all. Even so, Shen Qingshu firmly believed that the grave was just to hide people's eyes and ears, and Mu Chu was somewhere, and she would find this place to take her home.

Zhao Jinlu has already compromised and returned her freedom. The premise is to actively cooperate with the treatment to restore her body bones. Until the end of autumn, when someone from Yanyang came, the gap between her and Zhao Jinlu had disappeared. She didn't know how she would choose to forgive her, maybe As the dream said, it was because of cowardice.

***

When Zhong Qiyu saw Shen Qingshu, he almost didn't dare to go up and recognize her. He hadn't seen her for nearly a year, but she still remembered her demeanor when he parted, and the letter only said that she was sick. He saw this frail figure standing with his own eyes. Among a group of energetic palace people, one could tell at a glance that she was leaning on a cane and supported by a woman in a beautiful dress, and she seemed to be still smiling at herself, but why did this picture make her nose sore and her eyes red?Because when he helped her into the carriage, Zhong Qiyu once suspected that if no one helped her, he might fall down when the wind blows.

"My lord, it's late to come down." Zhong Qiyu solemnly clasped his fists with his voice choked up.

"It's good if you come." Shen Qingshu was a little weak, unable to hide his sickness, but his tone was happy, but this strange voice made Zhong Qiyu suddenly raise his head, yes, the letter said, the throat is also injured, why? I was hurt but didn't say anything.

Seeing the two people talking long and short, Zhao Jinlu couldn't help but feel sad. She still wanted to let this person go. Before handing her over to Zhong Qiyu, she made an unfeeling request.

"Shen Qingshu, can you give me a hug?"

Everyone present knew Zhao Jinlu's thoughts on Shen Qingshu, except for Zhong Qiyu, so Zhong Qiyu looked at Shen Qingshu with a puzzled face. Shen Qingshu looked indifferent, did not refuse, and hugged her. God knows how much Zhao Jinlu cherished this moment, buried in her shoulder She wanted to cry so much, this was her most intuitive feeling.

"Shen Qingshu, I want you to promise me and take care of yourself. Your life belongs to me. Even if you can't find her..." Zhao Jinlu shook her head suddenly: "No, you will definitely find her." Even if you I really can't find her, and I have to live well.

The corner of Shen Qingshu's mouth raised, and there was the purest smile in his eyes.

"Princess takes care."

Watching them go out of the city gate on the road, Zhao Jinlu quickly went up the tower, reluctantly waved goodbye to the fading team, and only when they disappeared completely did she let herself cry bitterly, which made the accompanying team The palace people, including the soldiers guarding the city, were very puzzled, even Zhao Qiaomu couldn't understand, and asked her: "Since you are so reluctant to let her go, why did you let her go?"

"Father, it's not that I want to let her go, it's that I can't keep her." She answered in this way, because she had seen through that all the work she had done was useless, even if she tied Shen Qingshu by her side for the rest of her life, Shen Qingshu would not To love her is to see through this vast world of mortals, so she made a decision that no one would have thought of——shaved ordained to become a monk.

Zhao Qiaomu respected her choice and regretted her marriage. However, the country is prosperous and the army is strong, and they dare not do anything, but they couldn't hold back several times to order the magistrate to take Shen Qingshu's head. Of course, Shen Qingshu didn't know about these small episodes. She abided by her duties, caught corrupt officials and punished them, took the lead and served the people wholeheartedly. Under her leadership, Yanyang turned from an isolated city where no one cares about it, banditry was rampant, and the economy was depressed. The prosperity of Qingyue is second only to Fengdu, a big city, and she herself is admired by the people and her colleagues.

It's just that after being in the officialdom for a long time, her state of mind is gradually changing, especially when a person realizes that the power he has can do or is not enough, he will want more.The only thing that remains unchanged is the belief in finding Mu Chu.

*Three years later*

Yanyang government office.

In the middle of the night, even the moon hides in the clouds and sleeps lightly. In the study, Shen Qingshu yawns, but he is unwilling to put down the work at hand. Stacks of files are being approved. In a few days, the five-year term will be up. It's over, and she doesn't want to leave unnecessary troubles and increase the workload of others like she did when she took office.