Pet me, are you addicted?

Before I could think too much, the eyes of Li Xuan and I had already met.I saw the smile on Li Xuan's face, that smile was as calm as ever, as if he could easily hide the secret in his heart.

Li Xuan came to me and said:

"Hi, what a coincidence!"

I also smiled and replied:

"Yeah, long time no see."

"By the way, you are studying in Changsha?" After he finished speaking, he pointed to the train number sign at the ticket gate.

I nodded and looked back, only to realize that there were only a few people left in the long line just now.

I pulled out the handle of the suitcase and said to Li Xuan:

"It's time for me to get in."

"Alright, be safe," Li Xuan said.

After passing the ticket gate, I looked back at Li Xuan, who smiled and waved to me.I suddenly regretted not hugging him just now, my dear Li Xuan.

Now, I put the suitcase away and sit in the car.In the carriage, someone’s mobile phone streamed a song, it was Liu Genghong’s "Rainbow Paradise", a song I liked very much in high school.

Both the lyrics and the melody of this song moved me as always, especially at this time, I just broke up with Li Xuan who I met by chance.

I took out my phone and wanted to send a short message to Li Xuan, telling him that I was already on the train.But when I type these words on the phone screen, I feel that this sentence is so redundant.

It stands to reason that my train is the first to go. In a sense, it is Li Xuan who sees me on the train.I should have waited for Li Xuan to send me a farewell text message.

I stared at the phone screen for ten seconds, 30 seconds, 1 minute, and there was still no new message popping up on the phone.So, I started to laugh at myself for Li Xuan: Ou Yue, Ou Yue, it's been several years, why are you still so childish!

At this time, the song "Rainbow Paradise" reminded me of the chorus part:

"I can't find the direction to go to the rainbow heaven, the love you said is touching the sadness with happiness..."

I put down the phone, leaned my head back on the seat, looked out the window, and saw the darkness, as if there was nothing there.Simply, I closed my eyes and started thinking about it.

I recalled the years in high school a few years ago, and Li Xuan's original youthful appearance slowly emerged.Thinking about the past few years, time can no longer be regained, and at this moment, the high-speed train has once again made me and Li Xuan gradually drift away.

I became sad without premonition, because I still don't know whether Li Xuan loved me.

The crashing sound of the wheels on the rails, the roar of the high-speed air flow, the sound is heard, if there is nothing, it seems that this train is passing through the tunnel of time and space, and it will take us away from this dark world and enter another rainbow. paradise.

If life is exquisite vases, then memory is the broken fragments of these vases.But it was that little fragment that made me very sad at that time.

After returning to school, I faced the toughest exam in the university, a make-up exam for professional courses.In the final exam, I really failed a subject, mechanical design, with 43 points.I was the only one who failed the class in the class, and I could only be one person. This is a matter of quota.

I think just because I have the lowest score doesn't mean I'm really the worst.My scores are not watery, and I am very principled in terms of discipline in the examination room.In fact, I was already ready to fail in the examination room.I really don't know those professional concepts.

I knew in my heart that it was because of Fan Fan that I didn't study hard for the exam, which led to failing the exam.But I have no regrets, I believe that I can withstand that test, I can get through it.

Everyone said that it is impossible to pass the remedial class of this course.The difficulty value of the re-examination is higher than that of the end-of-course examination, and it is not calculated as a normal score.

Sure enough, the questions in the make-up exam were all objective calculation questions, which were difficult compared to the conceptual questions in the final exam.But the final result is that I did pass, and I calculated the questions one by one according to my own understanding.

The make-up exam results came out, 64 points, a pass.Compared with the head covered at the end of the exam, I feel good about making up the exam.I miss the experience of this make-up exam very much, especially the feeling of studying hard in the self-study room.

No distracting thoughts, learn for knowledge.I read through that professional book.That pirated textbook is full of my red calculation marks.If it is a genuine book, I really don't want to sell it as waste paper, I can keep it as a souvenir.

From then on, I decided not to be sneaky and secretive to Fan Fan anymore.I told Fan Fan the secret.Although Fan Fan was dubious about my words, I felt more relaxed this way.

One weekend, I went to another school with Fan Fan and got a room there before I got back.I deliberately said to save money and asked for a single room and a bed.

That day was also Saturday, and the guest of Mango TV was JJ Lin.I got out of the shower and deliberately went without underwear.I thought Fan Fan was an open and interesting person.But I was wrong, I pissed him off.

We started sleeping under one quilt.I pressed my leg against his and unconsciously touched his thigh slightly with my hand.He got up vigilantly and angrily told me to put on my pants.

He asked the landlord for a blanket, and after lying down, he turned around without saying a word.His coldness hurt me too.I didn't sleep all night, and as soon as it dawned in the morning, I went out to enjoy the cold wind.

I think it's time for me to keep a little distance from him.Maybe I just imagined Fan Fan as Tu Hao. In some respects, Fan Fan is indeed like the Tu Hao I met in high school. He is full of enthusiasm for life and full of fighting spirit all the time.

But what about the Tu Hao in my memory, where did he go, and how can I get him back?There is no doubt that it is time for me to meet the current Tu Hao.

So I went to find Tu Hao for the third time.That day I went to open the room first, the innermost one, the layout is different, the bathroom is a bit bigger.

Tu Hao came a bit late, I waited for him in the room alone for a long time, although I was a little worried that he would not come, but he finally appeared.

That night we were watching a Korean TV series, the rumored Seven Princesses.Later, because of this, I watched the show in its entirety. On the computer, I bought a pirated CD.This is the first Korean drama I've watched in its entirety.

That night, Tu Hao told me that he no longer lived in the school dormitory, and shared a house with a few classmates outside the school.

I was puzzled after hearing this, why didn't you just take me there and spend this money to open a room in a hotel.I was embarrassed to ask, so I said:

"It's pretty good. You must not be used to sleeping in a dormitory with several people. It's good to move out and live in a room. At least the learning environment will be quieter."

Tu Hao was noncommittal, we still spent the night together tenderly.

When I woke up the next day, Tu Hao sent me directly to the bus.This picture is very impressive in my mind.

I don't know how to understand, does Tu Hao not like to stay with me for a while, or does he not want me to play with him?My heart is a little cold, but when I think of the close contact last night, I have a sweet feeling again.

The fourth time I went to see Tu Hao was a month later during the Ching Ming Festival holiday. I came to the place where I met him in the medical school, also in the 0731 Internet cafe.After Tu Hao got off the plane, we went to have dinner together.

Tu Hao bought a watermelon, but didn't order.After watching me eat, he took me to the room he rented.At that time, I was so excited that Tu Hao was finally willing to take me to his place.

We were watching the TV show "The Same Song" in the living room, while Tu Hao was eating watermelon with a spoon.After a while, the shared roommate came back and started watching TV together.

During the period, I received a call from my classmate asking if I would participate in the class activity to Window of the World the next day.I said I was playing with my friends, so I didn't want to go.So, I was absent from the group activities of the class again.

Tu Hao took me to his room.I saw an enlarged photo in his room, with a beautiful frame, and upon closer inspection, it didn't look like a photo, it looked like a frosted painting.The person in the photo is a handsome boy, and I guessed it was Tu Hao's younger brother at a glance.

After that, I lay down on the bed first, pretending to fall asleep on the surface, but actually waiting.The light in the room is off, the door of the room is open, and the light from the window seeps in.I don't know how long it took, Tu Hao took a shower and returned to the room, closed the door, walked to the bed, and lay down beside me.

"Sleeping so soon?" Tu Hao asked.

"No." I said.

After an unknown amount of time, Tu Hao took the initiative to get intimate with me.

After being intimate, I asked:

"The photo in the frame is Tsukoshi, right?"

Tu Hao nodded, but changed the subject, and suddenly said:

"In the future, you still don't come to me."

a bolt from the blue!I couldn't say a word right away, but I mustered up the courage and asked:

"Why? You don't actually love me, do you? Do you have someone else you like?"

"It's not like that." Tu Hao was silent for a while, then said:

"I want to get out of here, I'm going to quit school."

"What? Drop out? Why drop out? Leave here, where do you want to go?"

"I don't know, I'm annoying, I just hope you don't bother me."

"No, I just want to bother you. Isn't it your dream to study medicine? How can you give up your dream?"

"I was wrong. Studying medicine can't save them. I was too naive before. Medicine will only make the world worse and kill all the good things in this society."

"You're too pessimistic. You don't have to worry about what the outside world is like, what other people think. Isn't it enough for you to keep the kindness in your heart?"

"Hmph, don't say it so simply, like a great philosopher."

"Okay, I promise you, I won't bother you anymore, but I will wait for you to come to me, if you still like me a little bit."

The next day, Tu Hao sent me to the station, and I got on the bus and left here alone, along with him.

Is this the end?I can't believe, my deskmate, my friend, my lover, my lover, my dear Tu Hao, what made him like this, how much pressure and pain he endured.

I prefer to believe that he will definitely overcome this difficulty, and at that time, he will definitely appear in front of me with a new look, that is the him he used to be, the real him.