Pet me, are you addicted?

"Do you know what it is?"

I thought he knew, let me omit this paragraph.

"How would I know."

Fortunately, Li Xuan said he didn't know, so that I can describe that wonderful scene.

"Unfortunately, I didn't seize the opportunity, because tomorrow is the college entrance examination, and I was so nervous that night."

I talked about the night before the college entrance examination.

"I can't even remember."

When Li Xuan replied like this, I wondered if he was avoiding it on purpose.

"I didn't sleep well all night because of you. Fortunately, the college entrance examination was postponed the next day."

I complained like a little lamb being bullied.

"Ah? What's the matter? Why don't I remember?"

Li Xuan was very surprised, as if he really forgot everything.

"I'm going to bed, good night."

I got angry and didn't want to continue the narrative, so I deliberately said I was going to sleep.

"That's half the story."

Li Xuan was obviously whetted by me.

"That was the night I found out I was gay."

In a nutshell, I said.

"I'm sorry."

Li Xuan sent these five words, I never thought he would say that, what I need is not an apology.

"Have it?"

I really don't need an apology.

"I want to thank you for letting me know myself."

I said it seriously, I hope Li Xuan can understand that all I need is to know other people's true feelings for me.

"I'm really going to sleep, good night."

Suddenly feeling like I'm getting too excited, I want to stop and calm down.

"Okay, you go to sleep."

Li Xuan replied.

"you should also rest earlier."

I say.

That night, I once again found Qiu Miaojin's "Notes of a Crocodile" and read it.I vaguely felt Chu Kuang's state of mind.I seemed to see him with red and swollen eyes, and his voice was extremely hoarse with a strong nasal voice and said to Qiu Miaojin:

"Isn't a human being the aperture of all kinds of desires? Desire is the fact that flows out of a certain aperture, and no one can stop it. But we have to be educated by desires to face the formation of a new world. If we can't face it, we will die! "

When I read what others wrote, I was very interested.I thought to myself, since Li Xuan has completely forgotten all these things, then I will record them one by one.So, I opened a notepad on the computer desktop and wrote down the memories about Li Xuan.

"Sometimes, this kind of thing is very magical. For example, how I feel about Li Xuan. Whenever Li Xuan is not in front of me, I feel that Li Xuan is not far away. It seems that the two people are connected and will meet at any time. above."

"So, I always think about the topics and content that I can talk about when I meet Li Xuan. After the perfect idea, I seem to feel that I can completely show off my eloquence in front of Li Xuan."

"But in fact, it was very difficult for the two of us to meet. What's worse, once I met Li Xuan, I couldn't even fart. Because I felt inexplicably that Li Xuan's people were in front of me, and my heart But out of reach."

"Li Xuan lay quietly on the bed and didn't speak. He always gave me a very quiet look. I didn't know what to talk about. I never thought that the night before the college entrance examination would be spent like this."

"I suddenly realized that the college entrance examination is going to take place tomorrow. I should fall asleep right away. But I also hope that I don't want to take the exam tomorrow. How can it be like this before the college entrance examination? I just thought about it, and ended up sleeping all night Didn't actually fall asleep."

"Li Xuan and I have known each other since the first year of high school. Now we are sleeping together for the first time. There are only two of us in the whole room."

"For me, Li Xuan is as important as the college entrance examination. But for now, the college entrance examination is obviously more imminent than Li Xuan. I have made up my mind that after the college entrance examination, I will prove how important Li Xuan is to me."

"When I was still trying to make myself fall asleep, Li Xuan's hand suddenly reached out and hugged me. I suddenly became awake, but still pretended to fall asleep. I would love to let Li Xuan hold me like this, but I only hope that Just spend the night."

"He climbed up on my body and pinned me down. I got excited, but I still thought it was good, so I continued to pretend to be asleep."

"But I can only stay still, I don't know what to do. What I know how to do now is to wrap my hands around Li Xuan's body naturally."

"We changed positions. Li Xuanping was lying down, and I was on Li Xuan's body. I was completely unprepared, and I still pretended to be asleep, motionless. Just like that, I lay on Li Xuan's body and fell asleep very contentedly. caught."

"When I woke up the next day, no one talked about what happened last night. I felt a little empty in my head, a little hurt in my head, and my face was a little cold. This is the feeling that I didn't sleep well all night. How strong I am at this time I really hope that the college entrance examination will not be taken today, otherwise he will definitely fail the exam."

I think Li Xuan will see these words sooner or later.I don't know how he will react after reading these words.No matter what, let him regain his memory.

During that time, I also chatted with Lin Fan about starting a business online, and now I think I am ridiculous.At that time, I just thought about entrepreneurship as a hobby, and I didn't think about the limitations of the economic market at all.

"Are you there?"

Lin Fan used QQ on his mobile phone.

"exist."

I say.

"I've been busy these days. It's inconvenient for me to reply to emails on my mobile phone. Can I receive it directly?"

What Lin Fan asked was about the blog in the email I sent him a few days ago.

"Yes, I sent the computer to the dealer to change the hard drive, and I didn't go online a few days ago."

"Oh, you said start a blog, right?"

"Yes, you have time to look at 25togo's blog. It's a company blog about art and design, a startup company. We do stuff like that."

I added.

Just a few days later, I was talking to my mother about my liking for boys.After chatting with my mother, I seemed a little excited, so I told Lin Fan.

"Just talked to my mom for 2 hours. Guess what we talked about?"

I cut to the chase and sent a message to Lin Fan's QQ window.

"Talk about feelings."

Lin Fan said, he guessed right.

"Right."

I'm sure.

"Why are you so happy?"

Lin Fan didn't seem to really understand.

"Can you let go of your guessing?"

I signaled him to keep guessing.

"Don't tell me you told your mother???"

Lin Fan guessed right this time, he seemed to be full of exclamation points.

"Yeah, I said, Mom, I might be gay."

I dismissed Lin Fan's surprise in this way.

"Your mother didn't respond? Maybe your mother knew it a long time ago, just like I felt a little bit before."

"I don't think so."

"Then how did your mother react? It can make you so happy."

"She said that if I have troubles in this area, I should communicate with her earlier. She hopes that I will try my best to change. If there is no way, let it be. She will understand."

"Your mother is so kind! Your mother didn't respond for a moment when she heard you say it?"

"I didn't say it all at once."

"Oh. How did you say it step by step."

"I said it was annoying, and my mother asked me to talk to her. I said no, you don't understand."

"And then pinch?"

"She kept trying to trick me into telling her something. I just said I didn't like women. She couldn't explain it."

"and then?"

"Then I explained slowly."

"Your mother is great, always has been."

"But I'm afraid she's trying to win my trust first."

"and then?"

"Then it will use various methods to change me."

"Then you explain to her that this can't be changed. No matter what, I don't think your mother can sleep tonight. "

"Hey, should I keep it a secret?"

"It should be said in person. I feel better in front of me. After all, my son is right here."

"Well, but Mommy's suffocating me."

"Forcing you to find a girlfriend?"

"Ah."

"Call your mother more these days."

A few days later, Lin Fan took the initiative to chat with me about a very sensitive topic.

"Are you alone now?"

Lin Fan asked.

"Yes."

I say.

"Ask, who do you most want to be with right now?"

"I don't know, there are a lot."

"Isn't there?"

"Why are you asking this?"

"Just ask."

"If my answer is Li Xuan, do you believe it or not?"

"Believe me, I have always believed in what you told me."

"Haha, it can only be one of them, not the most. There are two other people who are very important to me."

"gosh."

"Important in my spiritual growth."

"Twice romances you've had?"

"One is my first love, and the other is a fellow villager I met before my first love."

"That's right, they all have extraordinary significance."

"Before my first love and after I lost my love, I always went to that fellow for comfort."

"Forehead."

"You have nothing to do with that fellow, right?"

"Which way are you talking about?"

"Everyone said, hehe!"

"We're not in love."

"That…"

"Yes, and it's the first time we've met."

"what!"

"Haha, it's just kissing, it's not really doing it."

"...meeting you for the first time!"

"Yes!"

"Probably know."

"That's right, maybe because I'm a fellow villager, I have a natural emotional foundation."

"Well, where is he now?"

"I'm still in Changsha, I'm in my senior year, and I'm graduating this year."

"Actually, it's not bad. There is such a paragraph."

"Tch, you seem to understand it very well, haha!"

"I don't understand, hehe. I imagined you were talking about a girl."

"Halo, then I won't tell you anymore."

"Do you think I've spoiled you like that? Hehe, I'll talk about it later."

"Hey, actually I want to escape from myself. Going outside and looking inside, sometimes I feel that it is really a kind of illness."

"Talk to Li Xuan, he is distressed."

"What is he worried about?"

"Ask, he says he can't see the future. He's just talking about starting a business."

So, less than ten days after confessing to Li Xuan, I chatted with Li Xuan again.

"Hi", I said.

"Yeah," Li Xuan replied.

"Do you want to discuss big plans together and achieve a career."

"Did you chat with Lin Fan?"

"Why do you ask that, you guys talked just now?"

I pretend to ask.

"Well, we talked a lot."

"Have you already acted?"

"How did you know I wanted to start a business?"

"I'm the little roundworm in your stomach."

I was so serious, but I got Li Xuan's seriousness:

"Some things, you say it's fate, it really has a beginning. You say it's fate, but it doesn't have an end. It's been so many years, I didn't expect you to remember it deeply. I have passed a lot these years because of my own frivolity. I can't Imaginary life, I have always envied you. Whether it is from study or work, I sometimes try to figure out your life, but I am afraid when I think about it. Because I know the loneliness in your heart, and then you change. My mind Here, you have always been the most youthful and pure appearance back then."

Li Xuan, I remember, you always said that you don't remember many things.Although I always believed that my memory recorded every detail, it wasn't until one day when I was chatting with Megumin that I realized that wasn't the case.I met Huihui when I was in the freshman year of high school. It's the same as knowing you, but I knew Huihui earlier.Huihui and I lived together in Xinjiaochang Lane at the time, and the landlord was a grandmother.Huihui has lived here for six years since the first day of junior high school, and I moved out after one year.After graduating from university, Huihui and I had very little contact. To be precise, we only met once, that is, when we went back to my grandma's house in Xinjiaochang Lane during the winter vacation.A few days ago, four years after graduating from university, Huihui and I reunited in the provincial capital.