Nancheng, nothing old.

It was still cold on the ground.Moonlight and night are still quiet.Just like me and her, sitting here, so close, but I don't know whether to say something to break the peace at this moment.I often talk to her, but I have never sat together alone like this.

It was Lu Yi'an who spoke first, probably because the environment was beautiful, and her voice was also very soft.

"I like the night in the north, and I like the wide stadium of the school. Even in winter, the night sky is mostly bright. Sometimes you can even see the sky is dark blue, and the clouds are distinct. Even if there is no moon and no lights Even at night, I can always look at the delicate night sky clearly. When I am in a bad mood, I just sit there and sit alone from afternoon to night, and then I can calm down. Sometimes in the evening, the sky is not yet dark. When a line of airplanes suddenly appeared in the sky, one would think it was a rainbow in the sky.”

The moonlight shone on her face, which was very melancholy, not quiet. I asked her if she was in a bad mood tonight.She said that Aunt Li has been talking to her recently about letting her go home after graduation, take the civil service exam, or become a teacher.

She said: "I like that city and the friends there. Since I like it, why did I leave? If I like it so much, if I leave, I will definitely miss it in the future."

I asked her why she didn't miss County J, the city where she lived for many years.

That night, although I can't empathize with what Lu Yian said to me, I can't forget it now, including the way she spoke to me, frowning so earnestly, but her tone was very calm.

She said, Jiang Ming, we will grow up and become an independent individual of our own. We must like our city with our hearts and work hard to live the life we ​​want. We will have our own uniqueness. in the parents' family.I said that I like this J County, but my parents gave birth to me here, and I grew up here, but if I was born in another city, then I should like that city, these are not the first I choose.I grew up here, I have many good memories, I love it from the bottom of my heart, when I was in college, I would be proud when I told others about it, and I also used a lot of words to describe my love, but this It doesn't prevent me from loving another city, just like I have a friend who grew up with me, it doesn't mean I want to love her, one day I will grow up, go to another city, and meet the person I really love, she is here Wait for me there.

What Lu Yian said always seemed to make sense, at least I, who was 17 years old, believed it deeply and couldn't refute it.But later I realized that these words were all she said to herself.These reasonable words are actually so naive, like a dream, and it is very difficult to really do it, but the road Lu Yian has to go is so difficult, she can only use these words day after day, repeatedly. Allow yourself to persevere.

Lu Yian said that one day we need to have our own family.I wish it was in a city I like, with people I like.This is like a dream, isn't it the original intention when we were still young and didn't know the world.

But all I could do at that time was to look at her with my chin propped up. I was just an indifferent child, looking at her with wide eyes and saying some comforting words that were useless.

Lu Yi'an stood up and said with a smile: "I'm really sorry, it's useless to talk to you so much, let's go and see what the male students are doing over there, it's rare that you also escaped the evening self-study."

She pulled me up, and we walked side by side. She had a smile on her face again, as if she had never been depressed before.But how can anyone be sad and happy all at once like this.The smile on her face is not stiff, but it always gives people a distance. Just like at this moment, we are walking side by side, and I am looking at her with all my heart, but she doesn't even look at me sideways.

Some boys were hiding in the corner smoking, and when they saw Lu Yian, they quickly wiped it out, but she didn't blame them.Maybe it's because she also looks like a male classmate, and she can talk to those boys very well.What they talked about I basically couldn't get in the way. They talked about NBA stars, World of Warcraft, the good-looking female teacher in school, and about Lu Yian's boyfriend.She never answers directly when it comes to her feelings. I can't say a word, and I can't listen carefully. I just tilt my head to look at Lu Yi'an, staring at her lips. Zhang Yihe is like a fish spitting bubbles in the water, and she also has dimples on her face that are as shallow as dimples.

I seem to be able to pass the boring time in the crowd just by looking at her.

There was no teacher in the self-study class that night. I heard that it was a meeting for the provincial entrance examination for senior high school students. We sat there for a long time, and I watched her for a long time until I drove her home at night.She seemed to be in a good mood afterwards, holding my whistle that I had been blowing out of tune.My heart felt inexplicably at ease and happy.

However, if it is not a fluke, there must be some punishment for the untimely romance of youth, and none of us were spared that night.A row of people stood in the head teacher's office, and I was the only girl.Following a group of boys, I blushed, felt uneasy, and uneasy.But after entering the office and not seeing Lu Yi'an around, he calmed down and sighed quietly, luckily he didn't see her.He lowered his head and nodded with the boys around him, but he didn't hear what the teacher said clearly, as if he had gone through a cutscene and then went back.

A review paper of [-] words per person is equivalent to four essays.It took a few class hours and breaks, and under Li Sumian's constant harassment, I finally finished my self-criticism.The content is nothing more than admitting mistakes, as a middle school student, you must obey the school rules and discipline, and you must put your studies first.But there was never a moment in my heart that I thought I was wrong. On another night like this, Lu Yian's lonely voice under the bright moonlight would still tempt me to jump out of the window and walk towards her step by step.

At the beginning of the Chinese class, Lu Yian apologized to the whole class. "I'm sorry, my classmates. As a teacher, I have not played the role of a teacher. I hope everyone will take it as a warning and not be guided by it." She bowed and spoke with a sincere tone, and her eyes must also be sincere, but I did not dare to look up at her There must be countless pairs of eyes staring at her now, I don't want to do that.

When I was in class, I once looked at the blackboard and turned my head to see her, who was taking notes seriously. She pursed her lips and frowned, as if she was thinking deeply.But I think, the 20-year-old Lu Yian must be much sadder than the 17-year-old me.Because she said that we always have to admit mistakes, apologize, and blame ourselves in front of others for what others think is wrong, but sometimes the mistakes are not what others stipulate, and we just do things outside the rules of others.So even though I knew from the beginning that there would be such a result, I would still do it, not by chance, I would still do it.

nine

One day, when we start to like someone, we start to have some secrets, we can’t share them with our parents, we can’t share them with our friends sporadically, but we are afraid that she will really understand, so we can only secretly settle in our hearts, sour and ferment, hoping Some days it can taste like wine.However, most of them are failures. Before they turn into wine, they are too bitter to keep, and they are reluctant to throw them away, letting the rotten taste accumulate in their hearts.Just as we may have invented some Martian texts that only we can understand, and then locked them in the diary.However, one day when I opened it again, I didn't know a single word. I could only guess what kind of words we should have written based on our memories of who we met and what kind of emotions we had at that time.

When I was 17, the diary was hidden in a bookshelf wrapped in tree bark.There was one page that took me a long time to read.

"When I was 17, I fell in love with a girl."

We watched a lot of love stories at that time. Most of the girls in the class circulated Guo Jingming’s "How Many Flowers Fall in Dreams" in class. We listened to many songs about love. JAY "Secrets That Cannot Be Telled", the whole class secretly read Shunji Iwai's "Love Letter" when there is no teacher in the evening self-study.

And I, on the blank paper, wrote Lu Yian's name for the first time.I heard that when I liked someone when I was young, I was still ignorant.I know I like her, just like I like my friends in kindergarten, I have a peculiar desire for her, I hope that I am the only one in her big eyes, I also like her hair, like her lips, sometimes When I stare at her, I imagine the taste of her lips, is it like the one depicted in romance novels.I like to pull her hand on purpose, and if she doesn't refuse, I will be very happy. I like her to hug me tightly and snuggle with her whole body when riding a bicycle.She makes me happy, makes me laugh unscrupulously, she makes me uncomfortable, like ice cream with bitter coffee in the cold winter.

But I'm not sure it's love.

Until, finally, I met Chen Qinghan.It's like an internet language that says: "You never know how much you love someone, unless one day she stands in front of you with another person." This sentence was very suitable for the day I met Chen Qinghan.

For Lu Yian, I was jealous of others, but that person was not Chen Qinghan, but Lu Jiang.

About Lu Jiang's departure, I heard it from Li Sumian.Years ago, when I hadn't met Lu Yi'an, a transfer student in my class.At that time, I, who was also a transfer student, was familiar with this environment a few months earlier than her. I had a few words with her, borrowed two pen refills and hadn't returned them, and asked her exercises for late self-study.If I want to recall her, Lu Jiang, whose surname is Lu in the middle, and I in the first name should be predestined, at least the day she turned around, when I introduced myself on the podium, I looked up at her, she was standing on the podium On her face, her straight black middle-length hair has not yet been tied into a ponytail, and she has a slightly unnatural expression on her face. With a stiff and shy smile, she clenched her fingers tightly and placed them in front of her lower abdomen. She said in a low voice, "My name is Lu Jiang." , the land of the mainland, and the river of the river.” At that time, I liked it.

I want to be friends with her, I think, maybe I can find ways to be friends with her.It's just that the time was too short, not enough to make us friends, and she disappeared.