the name engraved in your heart

Ahan rode his bicycle all night until the sky lightened slightly and he was exhausted, but he didn't want to go home or go back to school at all. He just wanted to leave, as far away as possible.

Throwing down his bicycle, he randomly boarded the first bus of the day in front of the bus stop. There were only a few sporadic passengers on it, and before he could sit still, Birdy jumped on the bus too. When he saw him, he shouted: "You Where are you going?" Han ignored him and just looked out the window.

Birdy came to him and sat down, Ah Han got up, walked to the front seat and sat down.

He could feel Birdy's eyes on him, but he didn't want to turn his head. Han was angry and couldn't calm down. His good life was messed up like this. Is Birdy satisfied now?

The bus drove through the streets of Taichung in the early morning. There were few people and it looked a little desolate. When the bus arrived in front of Taichung Railway Station, Ah Han got off the bus, walked quickly to the ticket gate, and blurted out without thinking: "To Pingtung, ’ It was as far from home as he could think of.

I took the ticket, walked to the platform, and while waiting for the train, Birdy appeared next to him again Zhang Jiahan, where are you going?go home! Birdy persuaded Han to turn a blind eye, and when the train arrived, he got on the train with a cold face.

Birdy sighed and had no choice but to follow, but this time he didn't sit next to Han, but sat a few rows behind him.

The train slowly moved south, the swaying carriage made people feel drowsy. Birdy soon couldn't hold back and fell asleep, but Ahan didn't feel sleepy at all. He opened his sore eyes and looked out the window slowly With the green fields and woods, blue sky and snow-white clouds in the slowly receding landscape, Han thought, could he just escape like this?Flee far away, never have to go back and face it?

When the train arrived in Kaohsiung, he suddenly changed his mind and got up to get off.

Before getting off the car, he glanced at Birdy who was still sleeping soundly, then turned around, got off the car and walked out of the train station. For some reason, he suddenly wanted to look at the sea and see the boundless sky.

So he asked a passer-by, which direction is the sea?

"Are you sure you want to go? It's a long way!" A passer-by kindly suggested that Han didn't answer.

Birdy came from far away out of breath. Maybe it was a coincidence or maybe Birdy didn't sleep that soundly. In short, he woke up before the train departed from Kaohsiung again. Jumped off the car, rushed out of the train station, he actually found Ah Han, who was asking for directions, and Birdy followed him at a distance from Ah Han. As the sun went down, Ah Han finally got tired of walking around.

As soon as he stopped, Birdy stopped and he walked, and Birdy followed until Ah Han finally couldn't take it anymore, turned around and walked straight towards Birdy, and said, "Can you stop following me?" I won’t follow anymore.” Birdy said that Ah Han just wanted to escape, but Birdy kept pulling him back to reality. Are you going to jump into the sea?" Ah Han asked.

"Jump, just jump, who is afraid of whom?" Birdy said that Han suddenly looked up to the sky and shouted!

Depend on!damn it!

He really had enough!

What exactly is Birdy thinking?

You kept pushing him away before, but now you keep following him, can't you let him be alone?

He really just wants to be alone!

Ah Han suddenly ran forward, and the distance between Birdy and Birdy finally became farther and farther. Ah Han ran all the way, and there was already a sea view beside the road. He thought, maybe if he ran all the way, he would run directly into the sea, right?Will Birdy really jump into the sea with him?

But the end of the road is not the sea, but a pier.

Ah Han ran to the ticket gate, out of breath, and paid for the ticket.When he took the ticket, Birdy rushed over out of breath and asked loudly, "Where are you going?" Ah Han completely ignored him, and went to the ship parked at the port. Birdy hurriedly said to the conductor: " I want to buy a ticket!" "What kind of ticket?" The conductor asked Birdy, looking at the price list posted on the wall. What ticket to buy!" It wasn't until she bought the ticket that Birdy saw it clearly: it was the time when the ship bound for Penghu was sailing, and night had already fallen on the land.

Ah Han stood at the stern of the boat, looking at the shore that was gradually moving away. The young man actually had a vague and indescribable feeling of confusion, as if his expectations and hopes for this world had finally been disillusioned. No matter how hard you try and how brave you are, the world will not change for him, right?

Birdy stood beside him, quietly accompanying him.

It wasn't until this moment that Ah Han realized that Birdy was worried about him.

I was afraid that he would do something stupid when he ran away from home alone, so he followed him all the time.

Thinking of this, Ah Han felt a little grateful in his heart.

The wind was strong and cold at night, Ah Han walked into the cabin and found a seat to sit down.

Birdy also walked into the cabin and sat down opposite him.Ah Han raised his head, looked at him, and said helplessly, "Why are you doing this?" Why did you follow him like this?

Why did this guy act like nothing happened when he had a falling out like this before?

It was so contradictory that Han didn't know what to do with him. Birdy deliberately sang a song: "Why and why did it end like this? Oh... why and why..." I don't know which song it is The melody of the song was randomly changed by him.

But Ah Han couldn't laugh.

Ah Han got up to leave, Birdy wanted to follow, Ah Han turned his head and glared at him: "Do you also want to follow me when I go to the bathroom? Don't be like this, okay?" Even though it has disappeared a lot, as long as you see Birdy , he was still upset, not knowing how to face this person.

Ah Han didn't go to the bathroom, but came to the sleeper area, found his place, climbed up, closed the curtain, and hid himself.

He exhaled lightly, and just when he thought he could finally relax a little, the curtain was suddenly lifted, and Birdy saw him lying here, and wanted to squeeze in.

Ah Han pushed him away angrily, and said, "Go back to your place and sleep, okay?" Birdy nodded without saying anything, walked out, and closed the curtain.

But he didn't go back to his place, but lay down on the floor in front of Ahan's place.Like, afraid that Ahan would disappear when he fell asleep, just like the night on the train before, the sound of the ship's engine was dull and rumbling, accompanied by the faint sound of waves, Ahan closed his eyes, physically and mentally exhausted The extreme him finally fell asleep slowly, but even when he fell asleep, he was still melancholy.

Because he knows that when he wakes up, there will still be no change in this world.

Before dawn, Ah Han woke up.

He opened the curtain and saw Birdy lying on the ground, collapsed on the ground and snoring soundly, it seemed that he was really exhausted.

At that moment, memories of the past flooded in like a tide, but the sweet taste at that time is now so bitter that even the root of the tongue feels unbearable.

The traces of those injuries can no longer be erased.

He forced himself to look away, stepped out, and left the berth, he told himself, enough is enough.

Never look back again.

Walking on the deck, he could discern the east from the faintly glowing light in the distance of the sea. He lay on the deck railing, waiting for the sunrise.

When the sun slowly rose from the sea, he sensed someone behind him without turning his head, he knew who it was.

Hearing the strange sound of "click" and "click" behind him, Ah Han turned his head curiously, saw Birdy behind him, made a square frame with his hand, and imitated the camera to take a picture. "What are you doing?" Ah Han Han asked angrily.

"Keep the best scene!" Birdy smiled and said that Birdy's behavior of not playing cards according to the rules made Ahan laugh helplessly, and with this smile, the original heavy and depressed mood seemed to be relieved. After all, stay away The home I was familiar with since I was a child, far away from the school and the secular world, in this sea, he was alone and BirdyBirdy saw him smile, and laughed too, and then walked forward and stood beside him, enjoying the sunrise together After a while, Ah Han pointed to a seabird flying past in the sky, and said, "Look, that bird has been flying with the boat for a long time." Birdy looked up at the bird and said, "Really, I don’t know why it keeps chasing the boat?” Ah Han smiled slightly and said, “Maybe the bird it likes is in the front!” “Where is it?” Birdy half leaned out of the railing and looked around seriously. Only people who can see it can see it.” Ah Han looked at BirdyBirdy and suddenly pointed to the distance, shouting: “I saw it! It’s there!” In front of the lonely seabird, there was another seabird flying gracefully.At dawn, in the invisible sea and sky, there are only these two birds, they look so small but so at ease.

The unknown islands in the distance became clearer and clearer, and the ship was ready to dock.

Birdy turned his head and found that Ah Han was gone. "Zhang Jiahan! Where are you going? Don't leave anymore! I have no money!" Birdy ran after a motorcycle in front of him panting.

But the locomotive didn't intend to stop at all, and continued to ride straight forward, as if he wanted to ride directly into the sea Zhang Jiahan!you are crazy!It's enough? Birdy was out of breath but still stubbornly refused to give up. He chased after Han. He didn't know where this place was. He only knew that it was a small island near Penghu. He didn't know where Han wanted to go. There is only one road on this island, as long as you follow it, you can find Ahan.

Can't let him out of his sight, Birdy told himself so fortunately, the island is really small, and when Birdy walked exhaustedly to the end of the road, he found Ahan's motorcycle parked by the side of the road.

In front is a large stretch of white sand beach after low tide, and further ahead is a reef with rolling waves. Birdy saw Ahan taking off his leather shoes and wanted to continue walking into the sea!

Birdy hurriedly took off his leather shoes, caught up with a few strides, and jumped onto the reef. Birdy walked on the rough and uneven reef with pain and shouted: "Zhang Jiahan, you really want to go into the sea! If you continue to walk like this , I don’t care about you anymore!” The sound of the waves was loud, and Ah Han turned his head and said loudly, “When did you ever talk to me? Tell me!” He would run away from home, isn’t it all caused by Birdy?

The reef is not easy to walk. After Ahan walked crookedly for a while, he finally saw that there was no road ahead, and there was only an endless sea left. At this time, Birdy shouted behind him: "Go again! Go again Ah! Where can you go?" Ah Han stood blankly watching the waves coming, thinking that he had nowhere to go, he suddenly yelled towards the sky uncontrollably, and at the same time opened his arms like a cat Huge birds flapped their wings awkwardly.

He wanted to turn into a bird and soar high, to leave this world that was about to suffocate him. Suddenly, Birdy came behind him, hugged him tightly, and insisted on bringing him back despite his struggle and opposition. Shore "Let me go!

"Don't let it go! Zhang Jiahan, you lunatic!" "You are the lunatic!" Who is the lunatic among them?

At this time, the tide was not yet high, Birdy insisted on carrying Han off the reef, and the two rolled down on the beach. Han was still struggling, and Birdy hugged him tightly. After a while, Han finally calmed down and Birdy still hugged him. Seeing both of them panting violently, after their bodies and emotions gradually calmed down, Birdy Yan: "Why did you come here?" "I don't know, Han said, "Where do you want to go?" Birdy asked again.

"I want to go somewhere without you," Han said dejectedly.

But he understands that in this world, no matter where he goes, he can't get rid of Birdy. Ahan broke free from Birdy's arms and slowly got up, looked at the sea behind the beach and rocks, began to slowly take off his clothes, and then naked Slowly walking into the sea, the sea is very cold, but his body is very hot. Ahan walked a few steps in the sea, and heard the sound of "click" and "click" behind him. He turned his head, and Birdy, who was sitting on the beach, was really Formed a square frame with his hands, pretending to be taking his nude photos, "Help you remember the youngest and most beautiful body!" Birdy said while squinting, and the lens frame pretended to be with his hands changed a few angles. Suddenly rushing towards Birdy, it didn't make sense that he was the only one being looked down upon!

He pushed Birdy down, and regardless of Birdy's objections, he roughly tore off all his clothes, even the quilt!

This is only fair!

"Well!" Birdy shouted, "Why, are you afraid of being seen by me?" Birdy pushed him away from the beach, got up from the beach, took off his underwear, and rushed into the sea with Han, yelling and yelling, indiscriminately Patting the water, like a caged bird finally freed.

The two had a water fight, and they hugged each other while playing. Ahan once again felt BirdyBirdy's young and extremely elastic body in his palm. He remembered the first time they met in summer vacation, and it was also in the water.

At that time, he only dared to marvel at the body that also belonged to a young man quietly in his heart, but this time, his big palm wantonly stroked Birdy on Birdy's naked skin and pushed him away, so he became bolder and wanted to push Birdy away. The whole person fell into the sea water, wanting to press hard on him, wanting to...

"Zhang Jiahan! You want to drown me!" Birdy spat a mouthful of seawater into his face.

Ah Han didn't answer, but rushed over to kiss him this time, and Birdy finally didn't push him away.

The sun was dazzling, but after staying in the sea for a long time, they still began to feel the cold, so the two returned to the beach, lay on their backs on the moist white sand, let the sun slowly evaporate the water on their bodies, and took a rest by the way There are only the sound of waves and wind in my ears, and the chirping of seabirds from time to time, as if there are only two of them left in this world. They are on an unknown island in the far corner of the world, and there will be no one else.Ahan turned his head and saw that Birdy was resting with his eyes closed. He couldn't help looking down, admiring the body that was as young as himself. Birdy's naked body was covered with fine sand. Ahan stood up slightly, as if touching something Like a work of art, Birdy carefully pushed away the white fine sand, eyes closed and did not make a sound. Even, he seemed to enjoy this kind of worship. When Ahan's hand came to the root of his thigh, he did not resist or refuse. , but exhaled lightly like a sigh, and then slightly raised his head to feel Ahan's hand stroking his most sensitive part. Ahan leaned over him, grabbed his hand and moved it to his crotch. He didn't Without the slightest hesitation, he acted according to Ah Han's hope. This time, there was no violent anger, no embarrassing guilt, and no pain and struggle of having to ruthlessly reject his love. The two of them left can love each other freely and touch each other freely in broad daylight, without caring about other people's eyes.

Two youthful male bodies gradually overlap, lips and tongues chase each other wantonly, body and soul seem to merge at that moment, no one has ever taught them how to do it, everything is just relying on the most primitive instinct, wanting to please themselves Lover, I don’t know how long it took to make each other happy, they finally paused for a rest tired, the sun was very warm, Ahan hugged Birdy’s body, resting his head on his chest, closed his eyes, listening to the sound coming from under his chest. The strong heartbeat and the satisfying smile that hasn't appeared on the corner of the mouth for a long time is like a dream.

And he hoped never to wake up.

Ah Han suddenly woke up, only to realize that he had fallen asleep at some point!

What woke him up was a burst of cold waves. The tide was high, and they were already surrounded by sea water. Birdy also jumped up, turned around and grabbed his wet clothes and schoolbag, and the two hurried to the nearest rock. The clothes were wet anyway. They were not in a hurry to put it on, and sat naked on the reef, watching the sea water gradually overflowing, a little at a loss.

"It's high tide," Han said, "How can you tell?" Birdy asked Han, lowering his head. The sea water kept hitting the reef where they were sitting.

"Oh, it seems that today is the end of our world." Birdy sighed exaggeratedly and Han didn't say anything. "I still hope that one day, I can have crazy sex with the person I like in a very special place! Unfortunately, there is no chance We are going to die." Brdy stared into the distance and said with a smile that Han stared at his side face, wanting to ask: Who is the person you like?

Is it me?

Is it me?

Didn't we touch each other's most intimate places just now?

Ahan wanted to confirm, but he asked: "What kind of place is special?" "Snow, or in the desert! Or next to a big waterfall! Anyway, it must be a very special place, keep doing it all the time." Do it until your whole body is exhausted!" Han closed his eyes, imagining the places Birdy mentioned, imagining the two of them making love crazily, until the end of the world.

"Are we going to die?" Ah Han opened his eyes, looking at the rising sea around him. How far is it from the nearest shore?

Both he and Birdy can swim, and it's not impossible to swim back to the shore, but at this moment his mood is extremely calm, thinking, it's good to die, at least he doesn't have to worry about what to do with his studies, family, work, and future life in the future. You can leave it alone.Seemingly feeling the gloomy atmosphere, Birdy stood up abruptly, with his hands on his hips, chest out, and looked into the distance.

"What are you doing?" Han asked, "Let me see if I can use my beautiful naked body to attract others to save us?" Birdy replied.

"Be careful to attract seagulls to come and peck yours!" Birdy seemed to shrank a bit, looked up at the sky, sighed, sat down again and waited for an unknown amount of time, but the tide still hadn't receded, so Birdy simply turned his head On Ahan's lap, his lower body was immersed in the sea water, and then he took out a pack of cigarettes from his schoolbag, finally found the only one that could still be lit, took a big puff after lighting it, and handed the cigarette to Ahan .

Ah Han took it, took a sip, and returned it to him.

The two smoked cigarettes in silence.

The cigarette was exhausted soon, Ah Han looked into the distance and muttered, "Isn't it true that no one noticed us?" I'm really hungry, considering they haven't eaten anything all day!

Ah Han glanced at him, then suddenly lowered his head and bit him! BirdyBi moaned, and Ahan bit his nipple again, and this time he yelled, "What's the name, why don't I eat you first?" Ahan said. Birdy smiled and pushed him away, and the two who were already quite tired fought and bit each other a few times, until Birdy suddenly froze and jumped up, and began to put on his clothes.

"What's wrong with you? Are you cold?" Ah Han was a little puzzled.

"There's no end of the world," Birdy said without thinking.Before Ah Han realized it, he saw Bidy who was dressed turned around, waving and shouting into the distance.

A small boat was slowly approaching from a distance, "Young man! What are you doing? Didn't you notice the high tide?" The boat called out to them.Ah Han also hurriedly got up and put on his clothes. The wet clothes were sticky and cold on his body.The boat that broke in suddenly broke the dream-like beauty and forced them to return to reality.

The reality that they couldn't possibly be in love together.A Han sneaked a glance at Birdy, and found that the other party was also watching him disappear with slightly embarrassed eyes.

The isolated island that once belonged only to them is gone.

As the boat approached, Birdy put his arms around Han's shoulders on purpose, and said loudly, "Let's meet again after the entrance exam, okay? Concentrate on studying first, and treat it for me?" Reality is like a huge rock, crushed in an instant Soft dreams.Ah Han looked at Birdy, and could only say: "Okay, yes, let's go to Taipei to study in university together, don't forget!" Birdy nodded vigorously, hugging Ah Han's shoulders tightly but did not turn his head to look at him again In that year's entrance exam, Birdy failed the exam. Ahan barely managed to get into the accounting department of a private university in Taipei. After returning from Penghu, he and Birdy never met again. When he heard the news that Birdy failed the exam, There is no excitement or sadness, only a faint regret that I can't describe how to describe it. Of course he once had expectations, but he has already understood that many expectations in this world are in vain. No matter how disappointed, people can still continue. survive.

In the first year of studying in Taipei, a senior in the department got close and wanted to learn how to write a song from him.

But this kind of intimacy is only out of admiration, there is no other emotion.

Ah Han has learned how to hide, and no longer easily reveals his true self in front of others, because he knows that it will only hurt himself and the people around him.

The days passed quickly, and the freshmen’s days were coming to an end. When the summer vacation was approaching, a common summer typhoon hit the island. Ahan was braving the thunderstorm on his way back to the dormitory when he suddenly felt the call on his belt. The machine vibrated.

He stopped in front of a telephone booth on the side of the road, put away the umbrella that had been folded by the strong wind, and took shelter from the rain. The phone number displayed on the Call machine began with 04.

The area code of Taichung is not his home phone number.

He was thoughtful, and a figure appeared in his mind, but he felt that it was impossible.

But he called back anyway.

There was a sound of the phone being picked up from the receiver of the public phone, but no one made a sound. Ahan could only ask, "Is there someone calling the machine?" The other end of the microphone was still silent, and Ahan was eating money every second while listening to the public phone. He wanted to get on the phone, but he hesitated for a while, then mustered up the courage to blurt out, "Is that Birdy?" There was still no answer on the other end of the phone, but he heard the slight sound of breathing.

That person seemed to be excited because he heard the name. Ahan suddenly held the microphone tightly and his heart was surging like a huge wave. It was really him!

"Are... are you okay?" Han lowered his voice, afraid that the other party would hear that his voice was trembling.

"It's okay," Birdy's tired voice finally came, but then, Han's head went blank, and after thinking for a long time, he said, "Long time no see. Long time no see." Birdy said he couldn't see Birdy, but he could feel it. Birdy was not happy. "How is your re-examination this year? Are you confident?" Ah Han asked if he could come to Taipei?Ah Han didn't ask this question.

"I don't know, Birdy's voice sounds a little indifferent.

Ah Han had no choice but to change the subject: "Did your family change their phone number?" During the summer vacation in high school, they talked on the phone almost every day, and he could press Birdy's home phone number with his eyes closed. It is very far away.

"Well, my dad said that someone keeps making harassing calls, but they don't speak." Birdy said that Han quickly clarified: "It's not me!" "I know Birdy," said Han can imagine Birdy on the other end of the phone Birdy didn't have a smile on his face and fell silent. The two people who haven't seen each other for a long time seem to have found nothing to talk about, but Ahan didn't want to just hang up the phone. "Are you at home? Didn't you go out? Did you not go to tutoring?" Ahan asked, " I don’t want to go out during a typhoon.” Birdy said yes, Ah Han glanced at the storm outside the phone booth, what was he thinking? "You don't need to go to class?" Birdy asked suddenly. Because it was a long-distance call, the public phone cost one piece of money. Han clamped the phone around his neck, and frantically rummaged through his backpack to find the change and put it into the phone.

"I just don't have class." Ah Han said that Birdy didn't speak again and he gritted his teeth. Ah Han asked, "How are you and Banban?" We broke up. "Ahan was startled.

Actually broke up?

When is it?

"Why?" Han asked.

I only heard Birdy smile wryly, and said: "She said that she was with me, it was very similar to the Qiong Yao movie, very unreal." Ahan was puzzled: "Is this not good?" "The movie is very dreamy, but the reality is very cruel." Birdy He said it calmly, but Ah Han couldn't tell if he was really sad.

But Han found that he didn't know Birdy that well. "Anyway, she was chased away by a hooligan," Birdy said. I don't know if it's true or maybe it's just a joke.

But Ah Han didn't poke it, but followed his words and said with a smile: "The rascal? You will lose to the rascal? You are the most rascal!" "Maybe she knows how to really treat her well !" Birdy said mockingly, "This is your first time, right?" When Ah Han said it, he felt a slight pain in his heart. He never thought about it, so one day, he could ask about In Birdy's first scene, he thought he should be the protagonist's first love.Ah Han started to feel cold, his whole body was already drenched by the rain, and the strong wind kept blowing. He hugged the microphone, squatted on the ground and huddled up to keep warm, but he was still reluctant to put down the microphone. As if this conversation was coming to an end, Ah Han tightly grasped the weak connection that was almost broken, and asked unwillingly: "I... I have a senior who is very good at writing songs. He recently wrote a song. , I like it very much, do you want to listen to it?" "Okay" Birdy quickly responded "but I don't have his demo with me, I... can I sing it to you?" Birdy said yes.

Ah Han still remembered that promise.

He wanted to ask, does Birdy remember?

One day, Birdy made a movie and he came to write the theme song of the movie. This is the first time he sang to Birdy looking for you...

He almost lost his voice when he spoke, but Birdy didn't laugh at him.

He took a deep breath and continued singing.

It was a story about a broken love.

The boy who was abandoned by love came to a strange city, but he always thought of the figure in the past unconsciously in the coming and going, and kept stopping.

Memories, people frequently look back at the names of past lovers, as if engraved, it has been deeply branded in the heart, and he will never forget it for a lifetime, and he does not want time to continue to pass, even though only thoughts are left now, but he never regrets it.

Ah Han held his chest with his other hand, and gently pulled the clothes on his chest with his palm.

He has never forgotten it, and it is impossible to forget it in this life. If he could do it again, he would still choose to love Ah Han again and cry, crying depressingly, because he wanted to continue singing the song.

This time he sang to Birdy for the first time and, he knew, it was also the last time.

No matter how reluctant, I can only let go.

He only hopes that the boy he loved can really soar in the sky like a bird and he will always remember to look up and look for the free figure in the sky.The sound of coins falling one by one is like a metronome. Ahan’s singing voice is not very pleasant, and he kept losing his tune because of choking. He heard Birdy on the other end of the phone seem to be laughing. After a while, he heard that it was also choking. the sound of.

There was a final "click" from the public phone, and the receiver suddenly fell silent.

I ran out of change.

His song was cut off abruptly before he could finish singing.He looked at the microphone, thinking about whether he should brave the rain to change the change and come back and continue calling Birdy to continue singing the song.

The wind and rain outside the phone booth were just like his heart.

But in the end, he chose to get up and hang up the microphone.

His movements are very gentle, as if he is afraid of hurting the phone, and as if he is afraid of breaking something, although he knows that some things have been broken, broken, and can no longer return to their original appearance. He finally knows that no matter the days we were together before How happy, now they are two parallel lines that are drifting away.

When he walked out of the phone booth, he wiped his face and it was warm.

Tears and rain quickly mixed together, and he left the phone booth step by step, leaving the most unforgettable love in his youth.