Male heart trembling

For me this Spring Festival, I don't know whether I should be happy or regretful.

Although the parents still feel that they are out of place, they also get their rare warmth in private.As Mr. Tang said, they vented all their sorrow and anger on me because of their unhappy relationship back then. Now I am sunny, handsome, well-behaved and sensible, and I have also been admitted to a university in a big city. No matter how you look at it, I'm a real son worthy of acceptance.

On Mr. Tang's side, although he showed an attitude of endless efforts and tried his best to seek a way of life with me in an open and aboveboard, or relatively open and aboveboard way of life, but the matter of physical marriage is like a rolling pin horizontally in my heart , very awkward.

Both of these events happened during the Spring Festival. The concern and distance of my parents, and the rationality and sensibility of marriage, in the final analysis, it does not make me feel happy or sad. They are like two-faced people, with a positive trend, but Also walking on the road of inexplicable sadness.

I won't feel happy or sad because of it, I just feel that I will be very awkward under the double-layer attack.

I don't know where the relationship between my parents and me will end up, and I don't know whether the physical marriage between me and Mr. Tang will prolong or shorten our relationship.Life is like this, no one can give the answer, and can only welcome the morning sun and sunset every day and grope forward.

The entanglements and contradictions I mentioned are actually self-entanglement when Mr. Tang is not around. As long as he comes back, as long as he appears by my side, I will be like a sunflower facing the sun, and I will follow his lead.

I like Mr. Tang, as long as he appears in my sight, many things, whether happy or unhappy, will be ignored by me, and I will only think about Mr. Tang.I am too dependent on this man, but so willingly.

The matter of physical marriage is not so much that I feel awkward, in fact, Mr. Tang is also a little awkward.But faintly, I feel that his awkwardness is more due to the fact that he owes me something.This big man has always been aloof, but he also knows how to make me happy in a more delicate way.

The reason why Mr. Tang felt guilty towards me was because I found that he was more gentle and considerate than before, and he suddenly spent a lot of money on me.Even though I was not short of money before, but in line with the unspoken rule of "not going bad", he, a rich man, gave me, objectively speaking, not much.

But it’s different now. After the Spring Festival, he got me a car, a very valuable car, bought me a lot of things, both domestic and foreign, and even changed a bank card for me.Every day, every day, I have gifts to receive, and this feeling is amazing.

It was because of the sudden extravagance that I felt that he was making up for me, and the biggest crux, that is, the biggest sacrifice I made, could only be agreeing to his physical marriage.One night, I suddenly realized that Mr. Tang is so "pleased with me", is it because he wants me to fall in love with Ms. Xu, and even get married, and also embark on the road of physical marriage?

After suppressing it for a few days, I finally threw this question to him. Although I was careful, it still caused Mr. Tang to deny with wide-eyed eyes: "Lu Zheng, I won't make it difficult for you to have a physical marriage with a woman." , don't think about it."

I don't know if the wealth figures that Mr. Tang gave me are numbers that can make me forget my original intention and become a man who is greedy for money. Maybe I think the number is huge, but Mr. Tang dismisses it in his eyes, or Mr. To make up for the matter of physical marriage, I no longer care whether I will become bad because of money.

This matter is too sensitive, I dare not ask, I just remind myself to keep my original intention, money may be important, but since I love Mr. Tang deeply, I must put aside the interference and live with him as long as possible.

This winter is over like this, neither good nor bad, what makes me most excited is that my relationship with Mr. Tang has become very solid.He will tell me when he has a social event at night, and he will take home the gifts given to him as soon as possible, and use them together.I feel that I and him are no longer the sneaky relationship we used to be, we are more like living, simple and ordinary, living life with one heart.

I didn't choose to drive to school, it was too ostentatious, and I didn't wear expensive clothes, I still kept the previous style and appeared on the campus.They all know that I have a super-rich cousin, but most of the topics I leave them with are my full set of Apple products and two or three pairs of limited-edition basketball shoes, and these things have long been the favorite of children in big cities. standard of living.

In this tender green season that just sprouted in spring, I couldn't join the student union for some reasons, but it didn't hit me. It all stemmed from a change in mentality.In the past in this city, I was like a pebble at the bottom of the water, working hard, trying to find a place in school, the purpose is not to be the person at the bottom.

It's different now, with Mr. Tang by my side, I have a backer and thighs. Even if it's not rich in money, I am no longer afraid of being abandoned by the city or even the world in spirit.For all the grievances I have encountered, perhaps I can find comfort in Mr. Tang's arms.

With this kind of mentality, I became more comfortable with my university life. I studied hard and enriched my mind, not for any other reason, but I just didn’t want to be a fool next to the brilliant Mr. Tang.

Although Mr. Tang has repeatedly said that he likes me, a silly boy.