Male heart trembling

No matter how much I worry about or even resist the matter of physical marriage, no matter how Mr. Tang expresses his love for me and appeases my worry-filled heart, life will always go on, and those scripts written from the beginning must be It will proceed according to the established rhythm.I am an insignificant person, a dispensable person, a person who is not a speck of dust on the road of Mr. Tang striving to pursue the life he wants.

Against the background, I am a candle burning in the wind, and the little flame is being cared for by Mr. Tang, but Mr. Tang holds my candle in his hand and walks towards the place where the storm is bigger.I tried my best to burn it, Mr. Tang tried my best to take care of it, but I kept walking forward with half a step.

I resign myself to my fate. A man has to resign himself to liking a man, and a poor man has to resign himself to his fate even more if he likes a rich man.I comforted myself with the cruelest words again and again, how fun is it to spend Mr. Tang's money?How cool is it when Mr. Tang pins you down?Why are you so resistant to taking on a little pressure in life now?But every time I say this to myself, I feel so wronged. I don't love his money, and I don't care if he can fuck me up. I just like this man who has no dead ends in my eyes. I love everything about him, love Do everything with him.

Helpless, life is not so simple, and it is not as smooth as imagined. Many essential things still need to be dealt with head-on.

Every night, Mr. Tang would hug me and fall asleep contentedly. I was the teddy bear in his arms, his pillow, and the place that could bring him peace.Every time I snuggle into his arms in the dead of night, stick to that strong chest, touch his warm palm, and feel the heartbeat and breath, I know that I am one step closer to that "peerless" day.

Mr. Tang announced his marriage with Ms. Zhao through WeChat. He showed the marriage certificate in his circle of friends, and said that the wedding will be in this spring, a warm season when all things recover.

Looking at the photos Mr. Tang showed in Moments, he is so handsome, with a decent suit and a confident smile, he is so right with the extremely beautiful and capable Ms. The clothes arranged for Mr. Tang in front of the full-length mirror are the shirt buttons I fastened for him, the bow tie I tied for him, and I wiped his leather shoes clean.And who knows, it was me who Mr. Tang kissed before he left.

Mr. Tang and I have no mutual friends. In my opinion, a quiet circle of friends must be full of blessings from friends on his side. Whether it is sincere blessings or false blessings, whether you know the truth or are only limited to rumors, in short Mr. Tang's marriage was made public.

As for me, sitting alone in the classroom, not interested in listening to the class, just sneaking a look at Mr. Tang in the circle of friends, it's not a good feeling.

The only thing I can comfort myself is that I know some inside stories that only a few people can know.Mr. Tang and Ms. Zhao met three times before receiving the marriage certificate, which was used to further discuss matters such as pre-marital property, post-marital property, freedom to make friends, marital loyalty, and business cooperation.Whenever I can't bear the man I love to marry someone else, I will imagine their transaction before marriage, maybe this is the only way I don't have to fall into the marriage, and keep in mind that everything is false Yes, the fact that everything is a transaction.

Mr. Tang came back very late on the day he received his marriage certificate, because he and his family were going to have the most positive family reunion with Ms. Zhao's family.The two families have already discussed all the issues of interest, and they have a marriage certificate as a support. All that is left is to work hard to create a new family relationship.I don't know how these two wealthy families think about the marriage of their children, and I have no way to imagine it based on experience. I can only read some feelings from the face of Mr. Tang who came back late at night.

Mr. Tang is very relaxed. He told me that when everything is just interests, and interests can solve the fundamental problems, the two families will not have any embarrassment.Businessmen only talk about interests, if the interests are enough, the rest is not a problem.I took the suit jacket, trousers and tie that Mr. Tang had replaced. It was the clothes he wore to show off his marriage in the circle of friends today. It was a symbol of his marriage to a woman, but now I hold it in my hand and carefully hang it on the cabinet. middle.

I asked in a low voice: "Won't you be unhappy if you regard your emotional affairs as interests?"

"Everything I do is for profit." Mr. Tang said.

We didn't do anything that night. Although we hadn't had passion for many days, we still chose to lie quietly on the bed. I finally understood that when I thought that there was a huge blockage in my heart, I could use my body to relax. Refreshingly relieve the distress in the heart, but when the real distress exists in the heart, it does not actually desire physical contact.I am like this, and Mr. Tang is also like this. We lay quietly on the bed, he didn't speak, and neither did I. We only went to sleep when sleepiness came.

I vaguely heard the sound of Mr. Tang turning off the bedside lamp, and he slowly approached me, holding me tightly in his arms.I murmured his name, and he said that he was not sleepy, and that he might suffer from insomnia tonight, all he wanted was to hold me like this.I was sleepy and unable to respond anymore, I could only feel the warmth of his hand against my chest and the comfortable feeling brought by the gentle touch.I deeply understand Mr. Tang's unhappiness. Even though he behaves naturally, he is still as unhappy as me.