Male heart trembling

Since Mr. Tang announced the marriage news, Ms. Xu and I have not been in touch again. The last time I spoke to her on WeChat was "Are you okay?" For a long time, even when I forgot to talk to her, the mobile phone After a ring, she replied that she would not contact her in the near future.

I can understand the distress in her heart, just as I can personally feel the grievance in my heart that cannot be relieved.We all understand the essential meaning of physical marriage, but when it really happened as promised and became a complete event, when the marriage certificate was placed on the table in a serious manner, when the purchase of marriage After a series of things happened, such as house decoration, wedding room decoration, and ceremony preparations, life began to become blurred. Maybe it was confusing in the past, but now it is even more confusing, as if knowing that the tricks of the magician are all fake. But he was still disturbed by his superb skills, as if everything was real.

Mr. Tang is very kind to me, even twice as good. I believe that Ms. Zhao will love Ms. Xu in every possible way. Afterwards, the beauty, but in this painful process, it is an evolution of understanding of life and attitude towards life.This hurdle is not a hurdle that can be easily overcome. It has nothing to do with how much wealth, power, and perfect appearance you have. Everyone who is facing physical marriage is equal.You will feel pain and happiness, you will feel heart-piercing happiness, you will long for evolution, and you will feel that you cannot bear all the sufferings in the evolution process all the time.

Although Mr. Tang repeatedly described to me our life after physical marriage, for example, he and Ms. Zhao still live in Tianjin and Beijing, and they will still live with me on the bank of the Haihe River. A high-end apartment, but I understand it better than anyone else, and Mr. Tang understands it better than anyone else. After the physical marriage started, what has changed is changed, and what is different is what is different.

However, I didn't show my grievances more, except that when I sat on the floor looking at the purple light of the Tianjin Eye that night, I cried once when Mr. Tang held me tightly in my arms. What is shown is actually strong.

I love Mr. Tang and love him deeply, so I can't see the helplessness he felt when he tried his best to please me but couldn't please me.I hope that he can be happy and be happy without any burden, so after he got his marriage certificate, my mentality became much more stable. I tried my best to touch troubles for him and to be a partner without any burden.I also discovered that before an unexpected thing happens, I will be full of fear, but once this thing happens, I will be much more peaceful.

On the night before Mr. Tang's wedding, the lightheartedness we pretended to be happy and the calmness we pretended to be quiet inevitably turned into nothing.Early tomorrow morning, Mr. Tang will enter the rhythm of the wedding, and I will just wait quietly at home.

We snuggled together on the bed in silence, Mr. Tang continued to smoke, but he never forgot to touch my shoulder with his warm palm.I lay my pillow on his chest, looking for comfort in the place that exudes familiar smell and temperature.We seem to be parting from tomorrow, as if this night is our last night.

I suddenly realized that I had always been prepared to be abandoned by Mr. Tang, thinking that as long as he didn't want me, I could turn around and leave peacefully.It is only now that I understand that I can’t just walk away, even if it’s just a symbolic marriage, I still can’t give up, let alone the day when I’m really abandoned, how I will tear my heart apart desire.

I don't know how I spent this long night. I woke up drowsily, and I was exhausted physically and mentally after a night. When the sky was bright, I felt a little relief in my heart.

We didn't talk too much, just step by step like every morning, the only difference is that when we parted, he held my face fiercely, kissed my lips fiercely, and hugged my chest fiercely. body.He said a lot, many, many words, I heard them all, but didn't remember a single word, I saw a slight redness in his eyes, but no tears shed.

I know he feels uncomfortable. A man and woman who are known to like men by many people appear at the wedding. If they are not regarded as clowns, what else could it be?It's just that everyone doesn't talk about it, but if you don't talk about it, it's not because you don't want to. Who can resolve Mr. Tang's discomfort, Mr. Tang's displeasure, and Mr. Tang's grievances?

When he had to leave, I said softly: "No matter how long it takes, I will wait for you to come back."

After the door closed, I slumped on the carpet in the hallway, covered my face and cried for a long time.I was originally an extremely strong person, and I could still be admitted to university without the care of my parents, and I could still rely on part-time jobs to support myself, but it was only because of the one-time tuition fee that I went on the wrong road. On this completely wrong road, I met Tang Then, sir, suffer this distress.Love has turned me into a fool, weak and incompetent, and only relying on Mr. Tang. Now that he has left and married another woman, there is a void in my heart that cannot be filled.

And the only consolation is that I hope this farce will end soon and my Mr. Tang will be returned to me. 438501285 for consultation and recharge. )