you are my star

Half a year passed quickly. When Jiang Nan attended the graduation ceremony in the summer, her belly was not showing yet. Now that it's winter, even wearing thick cotton clothes can't cover her swollen belly.Zhao Xingjian rented a rental house for Jiang Nan, and lived in the staff dormitory of the internship unit. He only came to help Jiang Nan buy food and tidy up the room on weekends. He watched Jiang Nan's belly grow day by day. up.

When they just graduated, the two went to get the certificate. At the beginning, they tried their best to hide it from the family, but they didn't hide it later, and Ye Shuya found out. She came to Beijing specially, and looked at Jiang Nan's big belly, and felt relieved. It's tight, and he said that he would wait for the child to be born, and then let the two of them hold a make-up wedding, and invite all their relatives and friends.

Zhao Xingjian was taking out the freshly washed clothes from the washing machine and was about to take them outside to dry. Hearing what his mother said, he turned his head and said indifferently, "Let's talk about it, Jiang Nan's parents were hiding it because of us. I’m angry about seeing them get the certificate, let’s talk about it after their anger subsides.”

Ye Shuya held Jiang Nan's hand and said with a smile: "If they care about it, they will be chaotic. Don't worry, when the child is born and sees the grandson, they will lose all anger."

Zhao Xingjian and Jiang Nan secretly looked at each other, but neither of them spoke.

Just after the beginning of winter, Jiang Nan broke his amniotic fluid in the rental house, Zhao Xingjian hurried back after receiving the call, and sent him to the hospital.After a day and a night, Jiang Nan gave birth to a girl, Zhao Xingjian went in to see them, Jiang Nan held the daughter in his arms, and said to Zhao Xingjian, "Let's name her, Lidong is just around the corner, why don't we call her a girl?" A name related to winter, right?"

Zhao Xingjian looked at the little girl in Jiang Nan's arms who looked similar to Zhao Jingchen, thought for a while and said, "Let's call it Zhao Si, Missing Si." Zhao Xingjian thought, let this child think about Zhao Jingchen, and when she grows When you're older, tell her the story.

Jiang Nan froze for a moment, then nodded.

Jiang Nan's parents were still brooding over the fact that their daughter was pregnant out of wedlock. In that small county, it was inevitable that people would criticize them. This made the two old people feel a little embarrassed, and Jiang Nan His sister-in-law also gave birth to a child a year later, a boy, and Jiang Nan's parents put all their attention on their grandson.

Zhao Xingjian and Jiang Nan still haven't returned home. Sometimes Ye Shuya will come to Beijing to help take Zhao Si for a few days, but Zhou Zhiyang has a son who is in elementary school. Ye Shuya also takes care of him, so every time When Zhao Xing came to see them, he came here in a squeeze of time.She also once persuaded Zhao Xingjian to go home so that she could help take care of her. Zhao Xingjian only wanted to make money, but Ye Shuya persuaded him a few times and refused to listen, so she simply stopped persuading him.

Jiang Nan brought Zhao Si up to one and a half years old, and later met a man on the Internet, who was ten years older than Jiang Nan.Jiang Nan liked that man and was determined to marry him, so within a few days, he met Zhao Xing and filed for a divorce. He simply packed his luggage and went to join him.

Zhao Xingjian felt that the people he met online were unreliable, and he also persuaded Jiang Nan not to be so impulsive, and try to get along for a while, but Jiang Nan didn't listen at all, and insisted on looking for that person, so Zhao Xingjian stopped. advise her.

On the day Jiang Nan left, Zhao Si was crying on the small bed, Zhao Xing saw her in his arms, but couldn't coax her well.Jiang Nan opened the door and stepped out with one foot, but when she heard Zhao Si crying, she came back, took her from Zhao Xingjian's arms, kissed her on the face several times, and then said while holding back tears, " Don't cry, your mother doesn't want you, she's going to run away with other men, what's there for you to cry? Live a good life with your dad in the future, and treat him well when you grow up. Without him, you, a debt collector, won't exist " After speaking, he pushed Zhao Si back into Zhao Xingjian's arms, and then left without looking back.

Zhao Si was still crying incessantly, Zhao Xing saw that he was holding her, but he stopped coaxing her and just stared blankly at the door, not knowing what he was thinking.

Zhao Xingjian began to work harder to make money, and soon he saved a lot of savings, and the aunt he hired for Zhao Si was replaced by a more expensive one.

After another two years, the development of the family was pretty good. Zhao Xing saw his own money, and borrowed some money from his mother, pooled it together, and bought a house in his hometown, two bedrooms and one living room, 100 square meters , although not big, but also warm.

After the house was decorated, Zhao Xingjian brought Zhao Si back and found a relatively stable job with good income in the local area, completely ending his life in Beidiao.

When Zhao Si was born, she weighed less than 5 catties. She has been in poor health since she was a child. Especially when the seasons change, she is prone to catch a cold and have a fever. As soon as Zhao Xingjian picked her up from the kindergarten, Zhao Si lay in Zhao Xingjian's arms and said that she felt uncomfortable. Zhao Xingjian had no choice but to take her for another injection and medicine, and then wrapped her in a small quilt to sweat.

Zhao Si was very uncomfortable and hot, and kept struggling to get the quilt off. Zhao Xingjian had to hold her down hard, and then threatened, "If you don't obey me, I will give you another injection." .”

Zhao Si was afraid of getting an injection. Hearing what Zhao Xing said, he obediently stayed still, but he didn't know whether it was because of discomfort or grievance, so he hid under the quilt and began to cry.Zhao Xing saw that she had a headache, wanted to get angry, and felt distressed, so he hugged Zhao Si through the small quilt, and coaxed, "Sisi is good, the fever subsides when you sweat, and you don't feel sick when you wake up after sleeping." It's hard."

Zhao Si stopped crying now, poked his head out and took a peek at Zhao Xingjian, then buried his crying face like a cat in Zhao Xingjian's arms, and said in a childish voice, "Then dad is holding me. sleep."

Zhao Xingjian said yes with a smile, then rubbed Zhao Si's little head, and hugged her into his arms.

Zhao Xingjian hugged Zhao Si tighter and tighter, but Zhao Si in his arms became smaller and smaller, so small that Zhao Xingjian couldn't hold her. He woke up from the dream in a panic, only to find that the thing in his arms was clearly a pillow. Where is Zhao Si.

Yu Chong is gone, and so is Zhao Si.

Zhao Xingjian finally understood what was that memory that he had forgotten. For so many years, he had not been able to get out of the incident of "killing Zhao Jingchen himself". I don't know why, but subconsciously forced myself to forget this memory.

Zhao Xingjian kept hinting to himself that Zhao Jingchen went to the south to do business, and he also hinted that he should not contact him, but he was afraid that Zhao Xingjian would bring back bad memories. Ye Shuya almost never mentioned Zhao Jingchen before Zhao Xing met. It has been a long time Zhao Xingjian seems to be living in the world he built. He even really thinks that Zhao Si is the daughter of himself and Jiang Nan...

Zhao Xingjian sat on the bed for a while, he seemed to understand everything, he finally knew how to "explain" to Yu Chong, so he picked up his cell phone and called Yu Chong again.

Just the phone is still off.

Zhao Xingjian was afraid that he would forget this memory again, so while he still remembered it clearly, he typed this memory into words and sent it to Yu Chong, although he didn't know if Yu Chong would read it or not. can see.

After posting, Zhao Xingjian went to take a shower again, then put on his clothes and was ready to go out. He wanted to find Yu Chong, and he wanted to make it clear to him in person that they had missed too much because of misunderstandings. Let Yu Chong leave from his side, this time, he wants to chase him back.

Zhao Xingjian hastily put on a coat and went out. Now it's winter, and the wind is blowing outside. The wind cuts his face like a knife, which hurts Zhao Xingjian, but he can't care about it anymore. Too many, went directly to the garage to pick up the car, and then went straight to Yu Chong's house.

I knocked on the door for 10 minutes with no response.The door of the opposite house opened, and an old lady in her 60s poked her head out, glanced at Zhao Xingjian and said to him, "Don't knock, Xiao Yu hasn't been back for a long time, if you want to find him Give him a call and ask."

Zhao Xing agreed, thanked everyone, and then slowly slid his hand down the door of Yu Chong's house.

Yu Chong hides from himself on purpose.

Zhao Xingjian has always felt that the love between him and Yu Chong when he was a student has always been unequal, and Yu Chong loves himself more. There is no doubt about it. Although his love is selfish and domineering, it has also brought him discomfort. less bothering.At the beginning, Zhao Xingjian also resented him and hated him, but later on, I don't know when, Zhao Xingjian also gradually fell in love with Yu Chong, gradually fell in love with him.

Yan Hui once said that the one who loves more often will be more tired. Zhao Xingjian thought, after so many years, Yu Chong must be very tired.

Suddenly thinking of Yan Hui, Zhao Xingjian recovered from his thoughts and took out his mobile phone to search for the number in the address book. He remembered the last time we had dinner together, and he saved Yan Hui's phone number.

When it was turned over, Zhao Xingjian dialed it nervously.

"Hey, Auntie."

"Xing Jian, what's the matter, what can I do for you?" Yan Hui's voice came over, her tone was flat, and she couldn't hear any emotion.

"Auntie, um, is Yu Chong with you?" Zhao Xingjian asked.

"Yu Chong? Are you not together?"

"No, I..." Zhao Xingjian hesitated, he didn't know how to explain this matter to Yan Hui.

Yan Hui probably guessed something, she asked Zhao Xingjian, "Could you be arguing?"

Zhao Xingjian didn't speak.

"Okay, I see. I'll look for him, and I'll call you back when I get in touch. Don't worry, he just has that temper." After Yan Hui finished speaking, she hung up the phone. Zhao Xingjian was still standing at Yu Chong's house blankly. Looking at his locked door, he sighed deeply.