Before and After Divorce

Xia Tingwan got a new notebook from Xu Zhe, Xu Zhe was a little surprised.

In fact, if it was him in the past, he might not be able to calm down and talk about work in a turbulent situation, but in just a few months, he has grown up quietly.

He has slowly learned to take his feelings to heart while living his life well.

Perhaps this is the survival skill that adults must possess. He didn't learn it until he was 25 years old, and he couldn't say whether he was lucky or unlucky.

"Actually, I have wanted to film this story for many years." Xu Zhe showed some helplessness in his eyes: "I thought about letting Nan Nan take over before, but later I still felt that with the relationship between the two of us, filming this film was too... "

Lu Xiangnan was teasing Lan Lan with a cat teasing stick, and when he heard what Xu Zhe said, he turned around and snorted.

Xu Zhe smiled wryly: "Besides, this film basically won't be screened and released in China - pure literary and artistic films, you can only rely on its quality to see if you can win awards, and you can't make a lot of money. The investment side is also hesitant, and some are willing I voted, but I wanted to put actors in, so I had to delay. This time, someone finally paid a lot of money without any restrictions. It's settled. I don't audition this time, I only contact some interested actors in private, and you are one of them."

"Thank you, teacher."

Xia Tingwan opened his mouth, but Xu Zhe shook his head, and continued: "You know me, when it comes to work, everything is business. The male lead's performance in this drama is the most important thing, I think about it very much." All capable actors need to audition, and you are no exception."

"And I think you also need to read the book carefully before considering whether you want to participate." Xu Zhe said calmly: "There are two points. First, there are a lot of nude scenes and intimate scenes in this film. You Is the scale acceptable? I remember that when you were filming "Whale Language", you were very resistant to nude scenes. Of course, I understand your personal experience, I understand, and I tried to cooperate with you in the end. But this film is in this point. It's not negotiable."

"Second point, this story is about the relationship between two men. You know that when it comes to these things, your personal emotional orientation will definitely be used as a fuss. It's not that there have been gay men in the past. In the end, he was ridiculed for acting in his true colors, missed awards, times have changed, but some prejudices are deeply rooted, you have to be mentally prepared, you may also face some unfair things.”

Xia Tingwan was stunned for a moment, he hadn't read the script yet, but from the information Xu Zhe confides, he also knew that he really had to think carefully.

On the one hand, he himself really resists naked scenes, the scars on his body...he really doesn't know if he has the courage to expose it on the big screen.

On the other hand, he had never thought about having an intimate scene with another actor.

He was a little dazed for a while, but Xu Zhe smiled gently, stood up and said, "Ting Wan—go back and read the script carefully before making a decision. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. It's about time, I'll be there tonight I have to accompany Nan Nan to watch a movie in 1998, and "Brokeback Mountain" is playing these two days, so let's take you home by the way."

"You don't need to see me off, teacher." Xia Tingwan also stood up: "Nan Shu is nearby, I just ask him to pick me up."

Lu Xiangnan likes to watch old movies, and later he and Xu Zhe invested in a small movie theater called 1998 in H-style.

The reason for this name is because "Titanic" was released in 1998, and Lu Xiangnan felt that 1998 was the beginning of a legendary era.

There are only two screening halls in the 1998 cinema, and they only show some old movies late at night. The original intention is to let movie fans relive the classics on the big screen from time to time.

Because the environment is good and the privacy is well done, although the price is very expensive, there are still many middle-class petty bourgeoisie who are keen on the past, and it is considered a very famous place in H City.

Xia Tingwan and Su Yan had also been there before, to see Korean director Lee Cangdong's "Poetry".

After coming out, Xia Tingwan had tears in his eyes, but he couldn't cry deeply.

At that time, he was still too young to understand the suffering and absurdity in those lives, unable to speak, the vague sadness like poetry, and only felt unspeakable pain.

It was an autumn night, Su Yan wrapped the two of them in a windbreaker and leaned against the guardrail beside the road, and kissed him gently on the deserted street.

again and again.

Until he recovered his mood, he hugged Su Yan's neck.

Su Yan also hugged him tightly, and whispered in his ear: "Let's go, let's eat late-night hot pot."

Looking back on that time now, I feel so romantic.

……

On the second day after going back, Xia Tingwan got good news.

The house he bought in Tianlan Pavilion has been renovated and is ready to move in at any time.

Xia Tingwan felt very excited, he had never experienced this before, although the Su family's Xiangshan house was impeccable, it was not his house after all.Later, he paid for Zhang Xueqiao and his stepfather to buy a luxury house, but he was not interested in asking about it.

Only this time, he bought the house with all his own money and found someone to renovate it himself. It feels like a new chapter in his life has opened.

When I went to Tianlan Pavilion, it was really bright and generous, and I felt satisfied everywhere.

The house is very big, with three bedrooms, a master bedroom for Xia Tingwan, and a guest room. The room arranged for Yin Ning is the largest, and the design is also the most attentive.

Yin Ning likes to draw, and Xia Tingwan ordered to paint the entire wall with Van Gogh's famous "Starry Sky Over the Rhone", so that the tone of the whole room is consistent, painted in a mysterious and solemn dark blue tone .

A wooden easel has been installed near the window, and a wooden table is conveniently placed next to the easel for placing paints and palettes.

Xia Tingwan enthusiastically sent the photos of the room to Su Yan, who responded quickly: "The decoration is finished? When are you going to pick Ningning over?"

"Just next week." Xia Tingwan thought for a while and replied, "I'll take the rest of the durian candy for you then."

"Thank you. But I'm away on a business trip."

"Aren't you trying to avoid me?"

Although Su Yan has been staying in Xiangshan recently, it is quite normal for him to travel on business.

It's just that when Xia Tingwan was in a better mood, he suddenly wanted to tease him, and deliberately sent a sentence: "I didn't say clearly when next week will pass, so you know you're not at home?"

Su Yan's status changed to "The other party is inputting..."

After typing for a while, Su Yan finally sent a sentence: "Tell me on the day you have decided, and I will arrange for someone to take over."

With a serious and businesslike tone, he is really a real old man.

Xia Tingwan couldn't help but post a GIF of herself rolling her eyes, and the caption on it was "Pigs hate you".

"... "

Xia Tingwan looked at Su Yanhui's three ordinary dots, and was suddenly a little disappointed.

This emoticon package is from the Internet, and it is based on his character in "Struggle".

To be honest, the movie was bad, probably because of the relationship between the director and the temperament of the whole movie. His performance was also a little awkward, laughing and staring, all exaggerated, but the emoticons born from it were all the rage.

Among the most popular GIFs, besides this "Pigs Dislike You", there is also a picture of him acting angry.

When he saw this emoji back then, he was so angry that his nostrils dilated.

After being angry, I really want to laugh.

During that time, Su Yan always sent him "so angry that his nostrils gradually dilated", he was powerless to fight back, so he could only reply angrily, "Pigs hate you".

The way the two flirted in the past is vivid, but now that he sent it, Su Yan didn't accept it.

Although...it's not surprising.

Xia Tingwan sighed, and fell down on the big bed in his new room a little bored.

-

On Monday night, Zhao Nanshu and Xia Tingwan drove to pick up Yin Ning.

Su Yan was not there, so after Xia Tingwan entered the room, he was not surprised to see Wen Zichen and the butler leading Yin Ning standing in the front hall.

Yin Ning was carrying a small blue Transformers-patterned schoolbag, lowered his head and held Wen Zichen's hand, refusing to speak.

After Xia Tingwan came back from Thailand, he met Yin Ning twice. Su Yan also talked with Yin Ning about his plan to live there and come back on weekends.

But Xia Tingwan was always a little worried. Yin Ning was such a quiet child. He walked over and squatted in front of Yin Ning, and gently rubbed the back of Yin Ning's head: "Ning Ning, have you packed everything?"

"En." Yin Ning responded in a low voice, but refused to raise his head.

"Mr. Xia has really put in a lot of effort to take care of Ningning." Wen Zichen suddenly spoke from the side.

Xia Tingwan frowned, raised his head and glanced at Wen Zichen.

Wen Zichen's face was a little cold, which surprised him at first glance.

He remembered that when Wen Zichen faced him, he almost always wore that polite and soft smile.

This was the first time I saw Wen Zichen's expressionless face.

"Mr. Xia..."

Wen Zichen seemed to hesitate to speak, he looked at Yin Ning, turned his head and said to the butler, "Uncle Shen, take Ning Ning to Mr. Xia's car first."

He obviously had something to say, but he still remembered to avoid Yin Ning.

Xia Tingwan stood up and looked at Wen Zichen. He was not interested in Wen Zichen at all, but he was curious about what he wanted to say.

"Mr. Xia, is this necessary?"

Wen Zichen waited until Yin Ning walked out of the house, then looked at Xia Tingwan and said.

Xia Tingwan was taken aback by the sudden questioning, so he could only ask directly: "What do you mean?"

"Are you planning to take care of Ningning yourself just to force Mr. Su to let me move out of Xiangshan?"

Wen Zichen raised his eyebrows, with a sarcastic expression on his face: "Mr. Xia thinks too much of me, it takes so much trouble. I live in Xiangshan to take care of Mr. Su and Ningning, does this make you uncomfortable?"

Xia Tingwan was a little speechless, he felt that Wen Zichen was really ridiculous, but he felt that if he was serious about it, he would look stupid, and he didn't know what to say for a while.

"Mr. Xia, you have already divorced Mr. Su, so you shouldn't care so much, right?"

Wen Zichen Xia Tingwan was a little taller, and when he walked over, he felt like he was pressing every step of the way.

Xia Tingwan felt a little annoyed, he managed to suppress his anger and said, "It was originally my responsibility to take care of Ningning, not Su Yan's. I was doing what I should do, fulfilling my obligations. Wen Zi Chen, don't think too much - I took Ning Ning away, it has nothing to do with you. Before I came, I didn't know about Su Yan telling you to move out."

"Really?" The corner of Wen Zichen's mouth twitched: "Then why Mr. Su never told me to move out before, but after you came back from Thailand to meet him, he asked me not to live here and come back only on weekends what about?"

"Then why didn't you ask Su Yan to explain to you?" Xia Tingwan asked bluntly.

A trace of anger flashed in Wen Zichen's eyes, but he didn't make a sound.

"Mr. Wen, let's keep a little distance." Xia Tingwan imitated Wen Zichen's tone, and called him Mr. Wen coldly: "Just like how are you and Su Yan, I will never ask you a word, Because your business has nothing to do with me, I don't care about you at all, and I don't care about your answer."

After he finished speaking, he turned and wanted to leave, but Wen Zichen suddenly stepped forward and hugged him.

"Xia Tingwan, do you think you can win this way?" Wen Zichen stared at Xia Tingwan, his tone slowed down again, and said with a touch of comfort: "Why don't you think about Mr. Su—— Think about what he needs? Companionship, or love, if you don't give it to him, why don't you let others give it to him? Don't you want Mr. Su to live a happier life? "

Xia Tingwan raised his head abruptly, although he was completely enraged, his face became more and more cold.

"Wen Zichen, what Su Yan wants, he will make his own choice - if you are confident that he needs you, you won't come and talk to me about it."

He stared into Wen Zichen's eyes and said word by word: "There is no winning or losing between me and you. My opponent is not you."

……

When returning to Zhao Nanshu's car, Xia Tingwan's expression was still very bad.

In fact, a very small part of his anger was aimed at Wen Zichen, but most of it was because he was angry at Su Yan for letting him fall into this embarrassment.

He guessed that Wen Zichen would not dare to question Su Yan, so he came to attack him.

Wen Zichen regarded this matter as a battle with him, which made his chest tight with anger.

He was originally the little prince Su Yan held in his palm.

He has always thought highly of himself. In fact, thinking about it, it is also because of this that his way of dealing with things is very different from Su Yan.

After the kissing scandal with Li Kaiwen came out, although Su Yan also lost his temper with him.But the more gloomy and oppressive unhappiness was actually vented to Li Kaiwen three months later.

But he is not like that.

When Su Yan pursued him before, if he saw other people approaching Su Yan with ulterior motives, even if Su Yan didn't respond, he would lose his temper with Su Yan.

He has always been arrogant when it comes to emotional matters.

Su Yan belonged to him alone, as long as he subdued Su Yan, he didn't have to fight or grab him at all, and he didn't bother to show his dissatisfaction to any third person.

Although he and Su Yan are divorced now, the pride in his bones still hasn't changed much, but the relationship between Su Yan and Wen Zichen has become so entangled that even he has become embarrassed and low-level.

He took out his mobile phone and wanted to send Su Yan a wechat message, but when he saw the message "Pigs hate you" in the dialogue window, he couldn't help but stop.

When I was deeply angry, I thought about it, but felt that my mood was a bit complicated.

He didn't think about this matter carefully just now, when he calmed down at this moment, suddenly a little sweet or astringent taste came to his heart again.

Xu Zhe said that the relationship with Wen Zichen was Su Yan's cat whiskers.

He originally thought, maybe don't push too hard, but his personality really can't bear these things.

The desperate words I said to Su Yan before actually put him in a very embarrassing situation.

He didn't dare to think, if Su Yan really didn't care about his feelings, and continued to mess with Wen Zichen for no apparent reason, how would he deal with his pride.

But Su Yan asked Wen Zichen to move out, and only come over when Ningning comes back on weekends.

This...is it considered to have listened to him?

Su Yan, the old cat, hid himself from seeing him, but he seemed to take his words to heart in private, secretly thinking about shaving his beard.

-

Yin Ning will only go back to school next month, so Xia Tingwan officially started his short full-time childcare life, but it feels very unsatisfactory.

The relationship between Yin Ning and him has gradually calmed down. Although it is not as close as he is to Wen Zichen, Yin Ning will chat with him in a low voice and show him his paintings. He is already very satisfied .

Of course he knew that Yin Ning would face an uncomfortable situation when he moved to Tianlan Pavilion, but he never expected that the relationship between the two would go back to the beginning when the space changed.

Yin Ning hardly talked to him, and he lowered his head when eating, taking a few mouthfuls to finish the job, and then went back to his room after eating.

He tried his best to take Yin Ning to the movies and amusement park, but Yin Ning refused them all.

Xia Tingwan went to buy the latest Playstation again, and wanted to play VR games with Yin Ning, but it didn't arouse Yin Ning's interest at all, but it was cheaper than Zhao Nanshu, who often came to help him bring up his baby recently.

It wasn't until the weekend, when Xia Tingwan brought Yin Ning back to Xiangshan, that when Yin Ning saw Wen Zichen standing in front of the door to greet him, he suddenly showed a long-lost smile.

The little boy ran over with his schoolbag on his back and shouted loudly, "Brother Zichen—"

Wen Zichen hugged Yin Ning: "Baby Ning Ning, do you miss me?"

Yin Ning nodded his head vigorously, he couldn't hide his happiness at all.

Wen Zichen patted Yin Ning's back tenderly and said, "Teacher Wendy is here, let's go draw first?"

Wendy is Su Yan's private teacher for Yin Ning, who comes to accompany Yin Ning to draw for two hours a week.

Wen Zichen put Yin Ning down, took the boy's hand and walked into the house.

He took two steps, then turned his head and gave Xia Tingwan a meaningful look.

Xia Tingwan lowered his head and took a deep breath.

Su Yan stood beside him and didn't say anything, but the cool fragrance of cologne on his body was still rushing into his nose.

"Su Yan, I...I smoke a cigarette."

Xia Tingwan spoke in frustration, he was so powerless.

He was very happy to see Su Yan again, but now he didn't even have the mood to say a few more words.

He knew that Ningning had no reason to like him. Ningning's eyesight was damaged due to his drunk driving accident, so he deserved to be hated.

Xia Tingwan also understood the meaning of Wen Zichen's look - Wen Zichen felt that he had to take care of Ningning because he wanted to force himself out of Xiangshan, and seeing that Ningning was still so clingy, of course he felt a little proud.

But he is not.

He really tried his best to take care of this little boy, but he had no direction at all, and felt so clumsy and useless.

"Let's go out and talk." Su Yan said.

The two of them sat side by side in the chair by the flower garden last time.

Xia Tingwan took a puff of smoke and came out, asking: "When did you come back?"

"This morning." Su Yan replied, he hesitated for a moment, and suddenly said in a low voice: "Don't be too discouraged, it's only been a week. And Ningning likes Wen Zichen the most, even if he is not very close to me."

Xia Tingwan was stunned for a moment, and subconsciously asked: "Why?"

"I don't get along with kids."

Su Yan looked down at his fingers, he seemed a little helpless, and sighed slightly: "I don't know what to say to the child - he doesn't feel comfortable with me, maybe... a little afraid of me. I can only I'm not good at taking care of him in other ways and accompanying him."

Xia Tingwan lit another cigarette, he knew that Su Yan was comforting him.

For some reason, even though it was just a few simple words, it suddenly slowed him down a lot.

Su Yan turned his head to look over, his slender eyebrows frowned slightly, and suddenly said a little unhappy: "Shut less."

Xia Tingwan looked at Su Yan through a thin layer of smoke, and smiled slightly.

He couldn't remember how long it had been since Su Yan had said this to him.

Su Yan said that he doesn't know how to get along with children, but that's not always the case.

Compared with Su Yan, he is a person with a very unhealthy lifestyle and a naughty personality, the worst kind of brat.

Su Yan always told him over and over again to go to bed early, smoke less, and pay attention to his body, and his face was often livid with anger, but he couldn't bear to be too aggressive with him, sometimes he was just like a competent and distressed old man.

"I won't." He intentionally raised the cigarette a few inches to be conspicuous, but he didn't smoke again.

Seeing that Su Yan didn't pay attention to him anymore, he couldn't help but put his head closer and said in a low voice, "Su Yan, I heard you asked Wen Zichen to move out of Xiangshan?"

"Ah."

Su Yan just responded, without explaining much at all, and there was no change in expression on his face.

"why?"

"It's nothing." Su Yan said calmly, "Ningning is usually with you, and I may not always be in Xiangshan. It's more convenient for him to go back and live."

His answer seemed to fit perfectly, and he couldn't force him to ask anything for a moment.

Xia Tingwan had no choice but to put out the cigarette sullenly, and changed the subject: "Su Yan, Xu Zhe is preparing a film called "Looking". He asked me to read the script before considering whether to go for an audition. Xu Zhe said that this drama involves same-sex sex scenes and nude scenes, so it cannot be shown in China, and it is quite controversial, so let me carefully consider it.”

"Yes." Su Yan said, "I know."

"What?" Xia Tingwan opened his eyes wide in astonishment: "Did Xu Zhe tell you?"

"No, I said that I have read the original "Xun"." Su Yan was silent for a while before saying: "I read it when I was studying more than ten years ago. It is a very sad story, so I always remember it. Do you want to play it?" ?”

Xia Tingwan lowered his head. Hearing Su Yan's description suddenly brought back the emotions he had been in for the past few days, and his eyes couldn't help but feel a little sour.

He whispered, "Su Yan, I think this story makes people feel very lonely."

Su Yan also looked at him, hesitant to speak.

"I want to act," Xia Tingwan said slowly, "I really want to act."

Xia Tingwan planned to read the script on the third day after he got it. After reading half of it, he couldn't help but look for the original "Looking". After seeing the ending in one breath, his chest was so tight that he couldn't sleep all night.

The character Xu Zhe considers for him to play is Gu Fei, a mute boy from a small southern town.

The original book describes Gu Fei, saying that he is "in his early twenties, with a shallow scar on the right side of his face, delicate eyebrows and delicate eyes. He looks timid at first glance, but there is a stubbornness in his eyes. He runs a private house by himself and remodeled it. A small hotel with a few cats, and I live in the smallest and most dilapidated attic. Although he is dumb, he prepares whatever the guests want, which is quite appropriate. I also know the neighbors well, and there is nothing wrong with life. convenient."

One summer, Xu Rong, a college student from a big city, came to this small southern town to sketch during his vacation, and stayed in Gu Fei's small hotel.

Xu Rong looks very handsome, very likable, and his speech is pleasant, with the chic vigor of a young artist.

Gu Fei secretly watched Xu Rong come and go with the drawing board on his back every day.

Peeking was finally discovered one day, but Xu Rong didn't care, saying that he wanted to draw Gu Fei.

At first, I painted the face, then the whole body.

At the end, Xu Rong said, let's draw the human body.

Gu Fei took off his clothes.

Xia Tingwan could understand why Xu Zhe wanted to make "Xun".

The first half of the novel is always shrouded in a foggy and wet rain in a small southern town.

That kind of artistic conception is lonely but beautiful.

In the damp and cramped attic, there are dim light bulbs.

There is no air conditioner, only the creaking sound of the old fan spinning, and the soft and sultry summer wind.

The ivy took advantage of the rainy night to climb to the small window of the attic, like a continuous desire.

Two young men, one drawing, one lying—

At first, it was a long stare, and then from shallow to heavy gasps, until the sweaty body entangled.

They played, drew, dried clothes together, lay on the balcony together, looked at the stars, and listened to the cat meowing for spring.

Xu Rong is always chattering, saying that he is a student of the Academy of Fine Arts, about his dream of painting, which province in the north he is from, that he likes Gu Fei and Gu Fei's body, and that he takes Gu Fei to see the north.

Gu Fei was always silent, he couldn't make a sound, so he kept listening.

All the good things come to an abrupt end.

One day at the end of summer, Xu Rong suddenly disappeared and never came back.

So the dumb boy who had never left the small town sublet the small hotel and went north alone.

There are only a few body sketches drawn by Xu Rong in his hand, and the only clue that Xu Rong attended the Academy of Fine Arts.

This search took six years.

At the end of "Looking", Gu Fei still saw Xu Rong.

At that time, he was 27 years old, with a lame foot, black and thin.

In fact, he didn't find Xu Rong, but met Xu Rong, the owner of the hot pot restaurant.

Xu Rong got married and gained weight. When she saw Gu Fei, she was moved and felt guilty.

It turned out that Xu Rong had never studied in the Academy of Fine Arts, let alone a student of the Academy of Fine Arts.

In the summer of six years ago, a young boy who had just graduated, loved painting but achieved nothing, and innocently told a lie when he didn't want to face the society or face himself.

He fled to the south, and met a beautiful dumb boy in a humid, rainy day.

He painted him, made love to him, dreamed together, and dreamed that he would grow old forever.

Xu Rong only wanted to lie to herself for one summer, but she never expected that Gu Fei had been trapped online for six years.

On the last side, Gu Fei asked Xu Rong to draw another picture for him.

When they were about to part, Xu Rong shed tears and said sorry.

Gu Fei shook his head, turned around and left with a limp, and returned to the south with Xu Rong's last painting for him.

The end of the story stays on the morning when Gu Fei returned to his hometown. In the novel, it says——

"There is always fog in the morning, and the light of the sky penetrates into the world little by little from the gap between gray and white.

Gu Fei pushed open the wooden door of the attic, and with a "squeak", a gust of wind blew past without a sound, and the dust fell on the ground.

It's like someone has come and gone. "