Breathe

The school has two bus stops.

After moving in, she, Di Xiaoyi, and Li Yunshan, who had returned to the bitterness and meanness of the past, had a hot pot meal together in the new rented house.

Talking and laughing, everything is as usual.

After Di Xiaoyi and Li Yunshan left, Jian Luyao turned on the TV and let the sound of variety shows fill the empty living room. She stared at the dancing figures on the screen, slowly closed her eyelids, and cried silently and broke down stand up.

She is not well.

The dark beast that dwelt in her was still firmly rooted, devouring her hopes, her vigor, her passions.

Sometimes when she looks at her wrist, she suddenly wants to scratch it hard with a utility knife, to feel how painful it is, and whether it is enough to remind her to live calmly.

But that thought was well suppressed by her, she didn't hurt herself.

After school started, things became more and more, Jian Luyao spent most of her time studying, but she felt relieved.

The anxiety of doing nothing was killing her.

She slowly made her mentality positive, went to and from get out of class, bought new paints, changed brushes, and did homework.

The accident happened after she handed in the first homework of the new semester. The teacher said that she drew very badly, and asked her if she didn't practice well during the winter vacation and lost her state.

Jian Luyao vaguely admitted this reason.

The teacher took out her homework and pointed out to Jian Luyao one by one where she didn't handle it well and where she made a mistake in drawing, and finally asked Jian Luyao to go back and adjust her mentality.

I will be a senior in the next semester, whether I want to take the postgraduate entrance examination or go abroad, or work, these things can be considered.

Jian Luyao returned to the rented house in a depressed mood. This matter was nothing to begin with, but it was a fierce and precise blow that shattered Jian Luyao's enthusiasm for packing up.

The depression and turmoil attacked more fiercely. Jian Luyao drank and smoked alone in the room, and finally curled up in the corner of the table, hugging her knees and crying loudly.

After crying, Jian Luyao calmed down a little. She knew clearly in her heart that she was a little seriously ill, but she decided to let it go and go to class, practice, and draw as usual the next day.

**

Song Dan has had a rough time during this time, the time separated from Jian Luyao was more difficult than she expected.

Every day when she picked up the phone but didn't see any news from Jian Luyao, she would be unaccustomed to being stunned for a while, and even went into meetings several times.

Du Jiang came in to find Song Dan once, and the two had dinner together. He asked, "Why did you separate? It wasn't so good before, but that girl treats you like a god!"

Song Dan remembered what happened on the New Year's Eve night, his face was expressionless.

Du Jiangjin asked: "What's the matter? Can't you tell me?"

Song Dan took a sip of warm water and said lightly, "I'm tired."

Du Jiangjin looked at her suspiciously for a minute, Song Dan calmly ate a few mouthfuls of steak, and finally put down the knife and fork: "I'm done eating, let's go first."

"Xiaoyi has been with Jian Luyao for the past few days." Du Jiangjin kept Song Dan in one sentence, "She said that after she separated from you, Jian Luyao had a very, no, good life."

Song Dan stood still for a while, then turned around and said, "What's wrong?"

Du Jiangjin said: "You'd better go and see her yourself. If you have any problems, let's talk about it. Hold it in your heart, and then misunderstand it. It's too childish, and it's a pity."

Song Dan didn't answer.

Du Jiangjin was a little helpless: "At our age, it is already a miracle to meet someone who is suitable, gets along, and likes each other. What's more, Jian Luyao loves you so innocently. You are not good Cherish, do you really want to die alone forever?"

Song Dan finally said: "She is still young..."

Du Jiangjin asked, "How old are you? You haven't reached forty yet."

Song Dan asked him to joke, and after laughing, he felt a little sentimental.

Her life, in the blink of an eye, went through 36 years, and a lifetime was so short.

"Let her think about it carefully." Song Dan said, "She is still young and has a long way to go."

Du Jiangjin glanced at her: "I think the one who needs to think about it is you, a coward."

Song Dan didn't respond and left directly.

"Hey!" Du Jiangjin shouted from the air, "If she sends you a message again, will you not reply?"

Song Dan hesitated for a while, and finally said softly: "I will go to see her."

Chapter 23

Li Yunshan was about to drop out of school. After submitting the application for dropping out, she asked Jian Luyao to accompany her around the school.

The two walked around the whole school along the main road and the small road.

Spring has just begun, and the broad-leaved trees are still bare and depressed everywhere.

Li Yunshan wrapped her scarf and exhaled whitely: "I didn't think so before, but now when I look at the school, everything is pleasing to the eye."

Jian Luyao said: "We are always reluctant to part."

Li Yunshan laughed, and looked up at the artificial lake in the school: "It's good for you and Song Dan to be separated, this road is too dirty."

Jian Luyao didn't answer, and the two stood by the lake in a daze.

There is a pair of swans in the water, with graceful necks, floating quietly on the water.

After a while, Jian Luyao said, "Do you regret it?"

Li Yunshan shook her head: "If I didn't look for him at that time, my brother and I would probably be dead. Money is a good thing. It can eat, cure diseases, and buy a house."

Jian Luyao said: "I don't regret it either."

Li Yunshan laughed mockingly: "What do you regret? First, you didn't have a miscarriage, and second, you didn't get slapped in the face. You are living so well."

Jian Luyao stared at the water, and silently said in her heart, no, she is not doing well at all.

The devil of depression followed her closely like a shadow, oppressing her, and she felt very uncomfortable every moment.

"Where's your brother?" Jian Luyao asked.

Li Yunshan was silent, as if unwilling to mention it.

Jian Luyao said: "Your brother will know about your childbirth sooner or later. Didn't you say that he will graduate after summer vacation?"

"Why do people have to be separated?" Li Yunshan asked, "Is it true that the longer you live, the more you want to separate others from the world? How come there are so many barriers between people who were very close before? Do people have to change? ? Do you have to grow up?"

Jian Luyao was silent for a while, then said softly: "You don't change, others will too."

Li Yunshan snorted, rubbed her nose, and said, "It's so annoying, let's go to a bar."

She left after she finished speaking, Jian Luyao said: "But aren't you pregnant with a child?"

"Never mind him." Li Yunshan didn't care.

They ate hot pot together in the end, Li Yunshan drank a little too much and couldn't stand up straight, she fell into Jian Luyao's arms as limp as if she had no bones, humming drunken words vaguely.

While supporting her, Jian Luyao waved her hand to hail a taxi.

Li Yunshan squeezed into Jian Luyao's arms with all her strength, and her whole body weight was on Jian Luyao's body.

Jian Luyao swayed back unsteadily, Li Yunshan grabbed her shoulders with a wave of his hand, almost buried her face in Jian Luyao's neck, complaining and shouting: "I fell, I fell..."

"If you stand well, you won't fall!" Jian Luyao broke her shoulders, trying to move her away.

"I can't stand still, dizzy, dizzy..." Li Yunshan said, her legs softened, and she knelt down on the ground.

Jian Luyao quickly reached out, passed her armpit, and hugged her back firmly: "Forget it, you quickly support me, don't sit on the ground..."

Li Yunshan hooked the back of her neck, shaking softly, and said: "I can't stand up, I can't stand up..."

Jian Luyao hugged her tightly and lifted her up with great effort: "Why are you drinking so much? I really want to just throw you away!"

Li Yunshan suddenly burst into tears: "You can't throw me away, my parents don't want me anymore, how can you not want me anymore? Don't throw me away..."

Jian Luyao didn't expect that she would poke Li Yunshan's sore spot with a casual sentence, and she cried very sadly, crying while crying: "You can't leave me, I only have you..."

She cried loudly, causing passers-by to stare at her. Jian Luyao said helplessly, "I'm not going to abandon you, so stop crying..."

Li Yunshan hugged her tightly, and said repeatedly: "Don't leave me..."

Jian Luyao hailed a taxi with difficulty, and dragged her into the car half-carried and half-dragged.Jian Luyao asked the master to go to the community where she rented a house.

Li Yunshan leaned on the back seat of the car, crying with tears all over her face, and was still saying: "Don't leave me, brother..."

Jian Luyao had no choice but to find a tissue and wipe her tears indiscriminately.

The taxi driver turned the car around, passed an Audi, and drove away slowly.

Song Dan was in that car and saw the whole process of Jian Luyao and Li Yunshan's "hugging and hugging".

She lit a cigarette, leaned on the seat, and smoked silently.

In the dim night, her car was parked in the gap where the light of the street lamps could not reach, it was pitch dark, only the tail of smoke was bright and dazzling.

Song Dan put the hand holding the cigarette on the car window, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes.The light and shadow were dim, and she couldn't see her expression.

She didn't know if the woman who hugged Jian Luyao just now and shouted not to leave was the woman who slept with Jian Luyao on the New Year's Eve, but she recognized it, it was Li Yunshan.

The friend who appears frequently in Jian Luyao's mouth is also the woman who, on the first day Jian Luyao moved to the apartment, came back from eating with Jian Luyao, bought snacks casually, and put her mobile phone in Jian Luyao's bag.

Intimacy - that's for sure.

Song Dan opened his eyes, looked at the lively night, and fell into a trance.

Jian Luyao, is it really the Jian Luyao she thought she knew?

People have many faces and secrets. At Song Dan's age, it is difficult to trust someone who has only known him for less than half a year.

Her first reaction was always suspicion.

Right and wrong, good and bad, good and evil, true and false...all things that need to be carefully distinguished.However, once these things are thought deeply, they will become a serious disease that hurts the heart and lungs.

Song Dan sat there for a long time, until the cigarette was burned out, the white ash broke and fell off, leaving the bare cigarette holder, which burned in vain until it went out.

In fact, at this time, the best way is to trust your intuition.

But intuition is too vague, so vague that if you use a little reason, it will dissipate like a cloud.

Song Dan got out of the car, threw away the cigarette butt, and stood in front of the trash can for a while.

She was only wearing a gray wool coat with a bow tie around her waist, making her look frail and frail. After half a minute, she made a decision.

Just separate like this, let each other be quiet.

Some things and feelings always take a period of time before they become clear.

She got back in the car and drove away.

After Li Yunshan dropped out of school, she moved to a high-end residential complex in the city center. Her benefactor even assigned her a nanny who followed her all the time, fearing that something bad would happen to the child in her belly.

She was probably flustered by the overall idleness, so she would send messages to Jian Luyao when she had something to do, and Jian Luyao would not reply most of the time.

In fact, most of the time, Jian Luyao didn't even want to look at her mobile phone, she didn't want to communicate with the outside world, she wanted to isolate herself, curl up in a corner, and die in pain.

She couldn't sleep every night, and was forced to cry by the depression, anxiety, confusion and pain in her heart, and then tossed and turned, and finally she could only rely on alcohol to fall asleep.

When she woke up, it was dark and she couldn't sleep in, even if she really wanted to sleep for a while.Time passes fastest and least painfully while asleep.But she couldn't sleep.

Every morning after waking up, she lay stiffly on the bed, not wanting to do anything, but felt that everything was meaningless, including being alive.

Jian Luyao spent a month and a half in such a daze.

Her mood is good and bad, sometimes she can eat normally, draw, study, and sometimes she will have a sudden emotional breakdown, maybe just because of a small unsatisfactory incident, the gloom hidden in her heart will disappear. Immediately Pentium came.

But more often, her breakdown comes for no reason.

The weather is getting warmer, and the flowers in the study and the park are in full bloom one by one. Jian Luyao should go to sketch, but she doesn't want to move, doesn't want to go out. Finally, Di Xiaoyi forced her out of the door, saying to take her to breathe.

Jian Luyao's weight is still dropping, she is getting thinner like a terminally ill patient.

When eating together at noon, Di Xiaoyi tried her best to add food to her, but Jian Luyao lost her appetite, so she endured and ate the food that Di Xiaoyi brought over.

Di Xiaoyi also wanted to order her a grilled shrimp with cheese. Jian Luyao felt that she would throw up if she ate any more, so she quickly said, "I have a bad stomach recently, so I can't eat anything."

Di Xiaoyi said: "What's wrong with you, you always have a bad stomach..."

Jian Luyao found a prevarication reason: "habitual enteritis."

Di Xiaoyi curled her lips and said, "It must be because you went on a hunger strike before and starved your stomach to death."

When Jian Luyao thought of Song Dan, her stomach shrank, and she clenched her fingers tightly in discomfort.

"Do you want to go check it out?" Di Xiaoyi said, "I see you are getting thinner and thinner, are you eating properly?"

Jian Luyao smiled and said: "You look good when you wear thin clothes. I wanted to lose weight and get thinner, but I was afraid of losing breasts. Song Dan didn't like it."

She made a joking tone, as if she was really happy for being thin, and she really did, and she no longer cared about Song Dan.When she was outside and in front of people, she was always normal.

Di Xiaoyi said something to her in disapproval, only at this time, she looked like a sister who was three years older than Song Dan.

The painting place was found by Di Xiaoyi, a bell-shaped glass flower shed filled with exquisitely shaped green plants and coquettish flowers, and a birdcage was hung in one corner, where several thrushes were raised. The sound is clear and melodious, like a fairy tale forest.

The environment is really good, Jian Luyao went in for a stroll, and even felt better.

Di Xiaoyi asked her to paint quietly and go out for a walk by herself.

She remembered that there was also a strawberry base here, and she wanted to pick strawberries, but after walking half a circle, she still couldn't find the strawberry shed, but she met an acquaintance, Song Dan first.

Di Xiaoyi stopped her pace and put on a bright and enthusiastic smile: "Sister Dan."

Song Dan and Du Jiangjin have a good relationship, and Di Xiaoyi can be regarded as having watched her grow up since she was a child, and they are familiar with each other.She returned a smile and said, "Are you alone?"

Di Xiaoyi said: "I have a friend who is at the flower shed and hasn't come over..."

Song Dan didn't think much about it, she came here with foreign clients, and after a brief exchange of pleasantries, she said, "Then I'll go first, you and your friends have a good time."

Di Xiaoyi smiled obediently and nodded, and separated from Song Dan.

After walking a few steps, she couldn't help but look back again, the direction Song Dan took the client to was where Jian Luyao was.

Chapter 24

Song Dan saw Jian Luyao drawing in the forest shed through the clean and transparent glass.

She tied a ponytail, without eyebrow-level bangs, showing a full forehead cleanly, with a few strands of hair scattered around her cheeks, her eyebrows were drooping, and her eyelashes cast a shadow under her eyes.

I don't know if it's an illusion of light and shadow, but Jian Luyao's skin is extraordinarily white today.

The figure is also exceptionally slender.

The fabric of the plaid jacket was soft, making her shoulders thin and her back thin.

She has lost weight, and she has lost a lot of weight.

Song Dan stared blankly for a long time, and the customer next to her talked to her several times before she suddenly recovered and heard the customer ask her what's the matter in English?

Song Dan smiled: "I saw an acquaintance, I'll excuse me for a few minutes, go over and say hello."

After she finished speaking, she walked directly into the flower shed without waiting for the customer's response.

Jian Luyao painted for a while, then bent over to wash the paintbrush, her broken hair fell down, and she put her hands behind her ears.With a quiet side face and a slender neck, Jian Luyao at this moment showed a calmness beyond her age.

It was quiet, cold and dead.

Song Dan's footsteps suddenly slowed down, she had never seen Jian Luyao like this.

In front of her, Jian Luyao is always shy and bright, her eyes are shining with stars and burning with flames.She is fresh and young, full of vitality and agility of life.

It's not what it is now.

Song Dan hesitated, and she felt the belated pain in her heart.

Jian Luyao really stayed away from her and became a stranger.

A month and a half ago, she confidently thought that time would allow her and her to see each other's hearts clearly.If Jian Luyao still loved her passionately, then she would definitely come to her. At that time, if she was still interested in Jian Luyao, then they could try again.

But Jian Luyao didn't contact her, and didn't update her circle of friends, so she quietly withdrew from Song Dan's life.

When Song Dan was busy, and in the dead of night, she would also miss and miss the time when Jian Luyao was by her side, but that was all.

What mature adults are best at is to use reason to suppress the impulsive love hormones.

Song Dan stood still at the same spot, and asked himself suspiciously for the first time, did she really only love Jian Luyao on a whim?

After more than ten years of emotional emptiness, she has forgotten the true appearance of love. She has added countless so-called correct rationality to the relationship, and then killed its germination.

Adults will not find love so easily, there are not so many suitable people.

But in reality, is that really the case?

Is it not, or is it cowardly?

Song Dan couldn't see clearly, and she didn't have the calmness to walk in calmly. She retreated from the flower shed and joined the client again.

It's just that when she communicated with customers again, she became obviously absent-minded. At the end of the meal, she called her assistant and manager to help her deal with it, and she asked for a sick leave.

Song Dan got into the car and lit a cigarette.

She was struggling, should she just go back and figure out everything by herself, or should she go to Jian Luyao first and ask her directly, do you want to come back to her?

Song Dan smoked several cigarettes, but didn't think everything through clearly.Some things are born to be unclear.

She put out the cigarette butt, and decided not to think about it, so she went to find Jian Luyao first, and we'll talk after meeting.

This long-lost emotional impulse made her heart beat faster, nervous and excited.

Song Dan put on some perfume to cover the smell of cigarettes, and went to search for breath freshener in her bag.

At this moment, she saw Jian Luyao and Di Xiaoyi coming out together.

Jian Luyao was carrying a drawing board on her back, and was carrying a black bag containing painting tools in one hand. Inside the jacket was a T-shirt, jeans with rolled-up trouser legs, and a pair of Martin boots. She was dressed neatly and handsomely.

Song Dan was a little dazed, only when they met for the second time, Jian Luyao wore it like this, and there was still paint on her coat at that time, Song Dan thought it was something she wore casually for painting.

But now that I think about it, maybe this is Jian Luyao's favorite style.

Her cute dress, her obedient obedience, are all performed to please her, just like the few women she raised before.Flirtation.

Song Dan felt irritated, she took out a cigarette, but she didn't light it, she just held it between her fingertips and put it to her lips.

The two turned a corner, turned their backs to Song Dan's car, and walked slowly along the shoulder of the road.

Di Xiaoyi didn't know what she was talking about, she pulled Jian Luyao's arm and shook it coquettishly.She was wearing a pink plush sweater, with a pair of rabbit ears hanging from her hat, bouncing around and following Jian Luyao.

Jian Luyao seemed to want to pull her hand out, the two tugged a few times, Di Xiaoyi suddenly grabbed her arm, pulled her clothes up and took a bite against her skin.

Jian Luyao called out so loudly that even Song Dan heard it.

She said, "All right, all right, I promise you!"

Song Dan closed her eyes, lit the cigarette, and after taking a puff, she started the car.

The engine roared, Song Dan didn't lower the window, just whizzed past Jian Luyao and Di Xiaoyi.

When Jian Luyao heard the sound, she subconsciously stepped aside to protect Di Xiaoyi, and at the same time turned her eyes to look.

The car window opened, and she saw Song Dan sitting inside.

Black professional attire, loose curly hair, exquisite makeup and a cold face, she held a burning cigarette between her fingertips on the steering wheel.

Jian Luyao froze for a moment, she did not expect to meet Song Dan here.

Then, did she see Di Xiaoyi's nonsense just now?

Could she have misunderstood?

Jian Luyao's mind was blank, and her rationality had no time to make a judgment. She blurted out Song Dan's name and ran after the car.

"Song Dan!"

She stared at the rear of the car that was gradually going away, and tried her best to speed up to catch up: "Song Dan!"

Song Dan saw Jian Luyao's frightened face and frantic actions from the rearview mirror, his heart that had been hardened just now softened all of a sudden.

She stepped on the brake, watched Jian Luyao chase after her little by little, and stood in front of the car panting, looking at her through the window anxiously and excitedly.

The cigarette ash from her fingertips fell down and landed on Song Dan's snow-white fingers. She put out the cigarette and sat there, looking at Jian Luyao in silence.

Jian Luyao clenched the bag tightly, all words and excitement were blocked by Song Dan's calmness and indifference.

She began to regret her impulsive behavior of chasing the car. After a while, she slowly lowered her head.

"Sorry, I..." she said, stepping back.

Song Dan's red lips tightened a little.

Jian Luyao didn't look at her, and turned to leave.

"Xiao Yao." Song Dan finally stopped her.

Jian Luyao immediately turned her head, her eyes were frighteningly bright.

Song Dan looked at the light in her eyes, and gradually gained the confidence to say what she said later, with a gentle and calm smile on her lips, she asked, "Do you want to get in the car?"

Jian Luyao took a step forward, and then she seemed to remember something, and asked weakly, "I...can I really do it?"

Song Dan felt sorry for her cautious appearance, and her smile became more gentle: "Well, get in the car."

Jian Luyao immediately went around and pulled the car door.

Di Xiaoyi only chased after him at this time, looked at the situation with a look of astonishment and surprise.

Song Dan said generously: "Xiaoyi, do you want to have dinner together?"

Jian Luyao opened the car door and was about to sit in, when she suddenly remembered that there was Di Xiaoyi, even though she only wanted to be alone with Song Dan at this time, and then explain the previous things clearly, but she couldn't just be like this Leave Di Xiaoyi alone.

She looked at Di Xiaoyi inquiringly.

Di Xiaoyi laughed heartlessly: "I can't, my car is still in the garage."

They drove here by themselves.

Jian Luyao hesitated: "Why don't we eat the car..."

"It's okay, you go first." Di Xiaoyi waved her hand, "I can do it myself, you go first."

Jian Luyao was very hesitant, it would be too dishonest to let Di Xiaoyi go just like that, but Song Dan...she didn't want to miss it even more.

Di Xiaoyi laughed: "Why, why don't you go, what if you don't want to?"

Jian Luyao's heart thumped: "Then...be careful yourself, if you have any questions, call me."

Di Xiaoyi smiled and hummed, waved away and said, "Let's go."

Jian Luyao got into the car.

Song Dan started the engine, and the car drove away slowly.

Di Xiaoyi followed slowly for two steps, until the rear of the car disappeared from sight, and the smile on her face faded little by little.

She bit her lips tightly, endured and endured, and finally squatted on the side of the road, crying.

**

Song Dan drove the car steadily, the atmosphere was quiet, no one spoke for a while.

Jian Luyao became nervous after realizing it, she really wanted to say something, but she didn't know how to say it.

In the end, Song Dan asked softly, "What are you doing here with Xiaoyi?"

Jian Luyao replied: "Come here to draw, she said that the flowers are blooming here, and the scenery is very beautiful."

Song Dan hummed.

Jian Luyao seized the opportunity to explain: "Just now she pulled me to go to the movies tonight. I didn't want to go, but she bit my arm and forced me to go..."

Jian Luyao omitted a part. What Di Xiaoyi originally said was to let Jian Luyao go to her house to watch a movie and stay overnight.

Song Dan still hummed, Jian Luyao was very uneasy, hesitated for a while, and finally said: "After I separated from you, I haven't had a good time with other people..."

Song Dan took a breath, and suddenly parked the car on the side of the road, then unbuckled the seat belt, pressed on the back of Jian Luyao's head and kissed her.

Jian Luyao was crushed by her on the car seat, and was stunned.

Lips and tongue pushed away, Song Dan kissed her almost fiercely.

When they parted, Jian Luyao blushed and panted continuously, Song Dan rubbed Jian Luyao's cheek with his thumb, breathing hot.

"Why didn't you contact me?"

Jian Luyao was wronged and said, "It's because you didn't reply to my message..."

Song Dan thought about the New Year's Eve and wanted to ask, but when the words reached her mouth, she swallowed them down.

She was inexplicably afraid, afraid of hearing the worst answer.

"During that time, I was sick and in the hospital," she finally said.

Jian Luyao was surprised: "Then why didn't you tell me?"

Song Dan smiled: "It's my fault, I didn't explain things clearly..."

Jian Luyao took her hand: "You can say it now, tell me why you suddenly... ignored me?"

Chapter 25

Song Dan was silent.

How to put those questions and doubts on the surface, she didn't know.

The more she remained silent, the colder Jian Luyao became. She stared at the road in front of her and asked in a low voice: "We're actually over, aren't we?"

Song Dan gave her that house as a gift for breaking up.

"Do you want to end it?" Song Dan threw the question back.

Jian Luyao wanted to say it forcefully, then forget it!

But when the words came to her lips, she couldn't say anything. She didn't want to, didn't want to, not at all.

Continue to be silent.

After a long time, Jian Luyao asked self-deprecatingly, "So what if I want to?"

She has never been the dominant one in matters between her and her.She is extremely humble in this relationship, she has no qualifications to ask for it.

Song Dan is her benefactor, not her lover.Their relationship was not equal from the very beginning.

Jian Luyao closed her eyes, her heart was so sad that she couldn't shed a single tear, she pursed her lips tightly and went to open the door, Song Dan hurriedly took her hand.

Jian Luyao didn't look back, and asked hoarsely, "Then do you want to continue?"

It took a few seconds for Song Dan to reply with one word: "En."

Jian Luyao sat back with no effort, she opened her blank and dark eyes and said, "Okay, let's continue."

Song Dan sensed that her attitude was not right, hesitantly said: "If you don't want to, then we..."

"Go to the hotel." Jian Luyao squeezed her fingers, "Let's go to the hotel."

Song Dan looked at her with a frown, hesitant to speak.

Jian Luyao looked at her with dark eyes: "Aren't you going? Then send me back to school..."

Song Dan started the car and went to a nearby hotel. She wanted to have a good chat with Jian Luyao in the hotel, but as soon as she arrived at the hotel, Jian Luyao threw her on the sofa and kissed her passionately...

Song Dan was gradually distracted by Jian Luyao, hugging Jian Luyao's back, and rolled together.

After finishing, Song Dan wanted to talk, but Jian Luyao leaned in her arms and fell into a deep sleep.

Didn't talk about anything after all.

When Song Dan woke up the next day, Jian Luyao was leaning on the balcony to smoke, wrapped in a hotel bathrobe, her legs under the skirt were thin, with a fragile smell.

Song Dan hugged her from behind, and said distressedly, "Why have you lost so much weight?"

Jian Luyao closed her eyes and leaned against Song Dan's arms, her voice revived: "I'm losing weight..."

Song Dan said: "You're not fat, so why lose weight?"

Jian Luyao smiled and said, "I want to be thinner."

Song Dan felt the painful butterfly bone on Jian Luyao's back, and decided to take good care of her and bring back the flesh.

"I'll take you to breakfast..."

"No need." Jian Luyao said, "I still have morning classes, I have to go to school."

Song Dan's eyes darkened, and she realized that Jian Luyao was different before. The most obvious thing was that she was not as well-behaved as before.Song Dan was a little uncomfortable, but felt that this was good, and she also wanted to see Jian Luyao's original appearance more.

"Okay, then I'll take you to school."

Arriving at school, after getting off the car, Jian Luyao watched Song Dan's car go away as usual, and then walked aimlessly around the school alone, facing the cold morning wind.

She reconciled with Song Dan, but she was not as excited and happy as expected, instead her heart was stagnant, and she felt like it was nothing but that.

Looking at the school that was slowly coming back to life, she felt a sense of loss in her heart.

In the following week, Song Dan would come over every day, and only had one meal with Jian Luyao, and sometimes they would walk around the neighborhood together after the meal, chatting or staying quietly.

The conversation between the two people is obviously less, Jian Luyao is not like before looking for various boring topics, Song Dan tried to guide, but in such things as chatting, one party is not willing to cooperate, and the other party is talking to himself. It can also look awkward.

That Sunday, Song Dan and Jian Luyao took a walk by the river after eating.

They stood in the shadows, Song Dan took out a cigarette, and asked Jian Luyao if she wanted it, Jian Luyao accepted it, and Song Dan lit the fire himself.

Song Dan got close, and the scent of the night wind wrapped around her body hit Jian Luyao's nose, and after the cigarette was lit, it mixed with the smell of the cigarette.

Jian Luyao took a deep breath, suddenly wanted to hug Song Dan, buried her face in her chest, and inhaled the fragrance fiercely.

She gripped the cigarette tightly, turned her head, and resisted the urge.

Song Dan also lit one for himself, exhaled the white mist, and said in a low voice, "Aren't you always talkative?"

When Jian Luyao gets along with her now, she is cold, with a calmness that doesn't match her age, as if the fire of enthusiasm has been extinguished, and there is only a little flame to maintain life, which is quietly burning.

"Huh?" Jian Luyao didn't understand the meaning of her question.

Song Dan lit a cigarette and explained, "Aren't you usually talkative? Before, when you were with me, it was different from now..."

Jian Luyao lowered her gaze: "Whatever is different, it's all me."

It's just her when she's happy and her when she's not.

Song Dan nodded and fell silent.

Jian Luyao sneaked a few glances at her through the darkness, but the light and shadow were too dark and the smoke was hazy, so she couldn't see her complexion clearly.

After smoking a cigarette, Song Dan put out the end of the cigarette and said softly: "It's getting late, let's go back."

"Oh." Jian Luyao followed her into the car.

Song Dan sent Jian Luyao downstairs to her rental house: "I'm going abroad for a week, you... take good care of yourself."

Jian Luyao paused when she opened the door, and she could hear the meaning of parting in Song Dan's words.

After thinking about it, it is true, she has been so indifferent to Song Dan recently, now Song Dan didn't slap her and scold her for being ignorant, it is already giving face.

Jian Luyao grabbed the car door and stood still for several seconds.

Song Dan waited quietly without speaking.

"You..." Jian Luyao still said, "Do you want to sit up?"

Song Dan looked up at her, with a provocative spring in those peach blossom eyes: "Are you sure? If I go up, I have to change the word 'to do'."

Jian Luyao looked away, her face was a little hot: "Then are you going?"

Song Dan smiled: "Of course."

She locked the car and went upstairs behind Jian Luyao. The two of them were in front of each other. Jian Luyao's back was tense, as if she could feel Song Dan's eyes on her back all the time, feeling uncomfortable He stopped and said, "You walk in front of me."

Song Dan raised her red lips, took two quick steps, and took Jian Luyao's hand.

Get in the elevator and go upstairs.

As soon as he entered the room, Song Dan pressed Jian Luyao against the wall...

Then to the bathroom and finally to the bed.

This time, Song Dan was so gentle that he was almost pleasing, he cared about Jian Luyao's feelings everywhere, and even tolerated all of Jian Luyao's actions and strength.

In the end, she was hugged tightly by Song Dan, as if she was very cherished.

Jian Luyao didn't understand the significance of Song Dan's actions, should he admit his mistake or make amends?

"Yaoyao." Song Dan said suddenly, his voice was extremely gentle in the silent night, "Let's start again, shall we?"

Jian Luyao was stunned.

Song Tan lowered his body and put it next to Jian Luyao's ear: "We don't mention or ask about the past. From now on, start over."

Jian Luyao said in a daze, "Why do you do it all over again..."

Will she be adopted again?And then wait for the day when Song Dan gets bored and throws her away without paying attention?

Song Dan's lips brushed against Jian Luyao's cheeks, and finally landed on her lips: "We date."

Jian Luyao suddenly opened her eyes wide: "What?"

Song Dan pressed on Jian Luyao, the room was too dark, and Song Dan was too close, she couldn't see Song Dan's expression clearly.

"What did you say?" Jian Luyao grabbed Song Dan's arm and asked again, "What did you say?"

Song Dan kissed Jian Luyao's forehead and repeated: "I said, let's date."

Jian Luyao burst into tears suddenly, the tears poured out uncontrollably, she felt the gloom that had been pressing on her heart for a long time dissipated and loosened.

Light and hope leaked from the dark sky, so all the pessimism that questioned the meaning and life disappeared, and the lost vitality, the motivation to live, came back all at once.

The world was originally beautiful, but now Jian Luyao saw that beautiful color again.

In mid-April, on Jian Luyao's 21st birthday, Song Dan took her back to the apartment.

Jian Luyao guessed that Song Dan would prepare a surprise for her, it was her birthday after all, but when she opened the door and entered, there was nothing inside.

Jian Luyao was stunned for a moment, and looked at the room several times over and over again, it was still as clean as when she left, there was no difference.

So, did Song Dan just take her back to live?

Or, did she not know that Jian Luyao's birthday is today?

Jian Luyao was a little depressed.

Song Dan hugged her from behind and asked in a low voice, "What do you want to eat tonight?"

Jian Luyao said sullenly: "Don't you want to eat anything?"

Song Dan snorted: "Really, I wanted to show my hand in front of you, but it seems that I have no chance..."

"You know how to cook?" Jian Luyao was surprised.

Song Dan laughed: "Why can't I know how to cook? I used to live alone for so long..."

Jian Luyao blinked: "I've never seen you do it, I thought..."

Song Dan pinched her face: "Then do you want to eat?"

Jian Luyao puffed her cheeks and nodded again and again, followed by asking: "What delicious food do you want to give me?"

Song Dan said, "Guess what."

Jian Luyao rolled her eyes: "How do I guess this? A full banquet of Han and Han people?"

Song Dan tilted his head and kissed her earlobe: "Be me."

Jian Luyao's breathing became chaotic, and the first image in her mind was that Song Dan was wearing all kinds of beautiful clothes, or bundled it up as a birthday present for Jian Luyao to dismantle...

She was so distracted that she was ready to turn around and hug Song Dan for a kiss, but Song Dan let her go, rolled up his sleeves, and said with a serious expression, "I'm just kidding, I'm going to cook you some western food."

Jian Luyao: "..."

Song Dan turned to look at her with a pure face: "Huh? Don't you like Western food? How about...Chinese food?"

Seeing her like that, Jian Luyao knew, "You're teasing me again."

Only then did Song Dan laugh, and pressed Jian Luyao on the back of her neck, kissed her and said, "Let's eat first, and the dessert is in the back..."

Chapter 26

Song Dan made red wine steak, salmon pasta, and creamy soup.

This was the first time she cooked for Jian Luyao, and Jian Luyao excitedly took pictures of all the dishes, and made several arrangements.

Song Dan opened red wine and said with a smile, "I will make it for you often when I have time in the future."

Jian Luyao whispered: "That's different..."

Song Dan raised his tail tune and hummed: "What's the difference?"

Jian Luyao didn't answer, she put away her phone, and went around behind Song Dan who was pouring wine, put her arms around her waist, watched her movements and asked, "We...will always be together."

Song Dan stroked Jian Luyao's hand, paused for a second, and said, "Do you know how old I am this year?"

"That's not important..." Jian Luyao accepted