Embroidered Pillows and Paper Tigers

"Give me your phone number." Li Shi'an suddenly reached out to Lao Xie.

Lao Xie handed over the phone, and Li Shi'an took it and dialed Shen Yan's number.

Shen Yan went back to Fu Youcheng's home early that morning. He wanted to go back and see Qu Ya while Fu Youcheng was at work, but when he went back, he found that Fu Youcheng had changed the password, and he had been calling outside for a long time. Qu Ya didn't answer the phone, and no one answered the door, and Li Shi'an couldn't be reached. He felt abandoned by everyone, and he was on the verge of collapse.

But at this moment, a strange phone call came, and he answered it without thinking, but heard Li Shi'an's voice.

Li Shi'an asked Shen Yan, "Where are you?"

Shen Yan's tears of grievance fell down all at once.

The two finally made an appointment to meet at Lao Yu's place after school. When Lao Yu saw Li Shi'an, he didn't ask any questions, but just patted him on the shoulder and walked out so that they could talk.

Li Shi'an and Shen Yan sat side by side on the narrow folding bed, Shen Yan saw the inconspicuous bruise on Li Shi'an's forehead, and asked distressedly, "Did your father beat you?"

Li Shi'an didn't answer, looking at the simple and empty studio, he felt that he was much luckier than Shen Yan, at least he still had a place to go, but what should Shen Yan do?

He took Shen Yan's hand and asked, "Why don't you go to school today?"

Shen Yan said: "Fu Youcheng told my mother."

Li Shi'an sighed silently, Fu Youcheng was a villain with no bottom line, he knew it would happen sooner or later.

"What did Auntie say?" He asked Shen Yan.

Shen Yan shook his head, Qu Ya has become as dull as a puppet since giving birth to that child, and Shen Yan often felt that her soul seemed to be free from her body, which is why he would always guard Qu Ya at home reason.

Now that Fu Youcheng's affair with Qu Ya was brought up in front of Qu Ya, Shen Yan was even more worried.He was not only worried about Qu Ya, but also about Li Shi'an, worried that Li Shi'an would be beaten, and that Li Shi'an would give up. Before receiving that call in the morning, he was constantly suffering from various worries.

"Ten An." Shen Yan suddenly called out.

Li Shi'an responded softly: "Yes."

Shen Yan begged: "Don't give up, okay?"

Li Shi'an's eyes became hot, he had been thinking about Shen Yan all day, but at this moment he couldn't reassure Shen Yan, facing Li Qishan, he was also afraid that he would be vacillating, so he would repeat it over and over again.

"Have you eaten?" Li Shi'an was like his timid and cowardly hermit crab, instinctively wanting to avoid Shen Yan's question.

Of course Shen Yan knew that he was avoiding the question, and his heart was lost all of a sudden, and he said in a trembling voice: "Don't evade, answer me Li Shi'an."

"I haven't eaten yet, I'm going to have a meal first." Li Shi'an said and stood up.

He didn't know how he got out of the studio, Lao Yu was outside, saw him coming out, stepped forward and said, "I'm leaving in a few days, since I met you today, let me say goodbye to you."

Li Shi'an asked: "How did the studio become like this, where are you going?"

Lao Yu told Li Shi'an what happened at home, and also told about the situation with Lu Fei. The two were silent for a long time, and Li Shi'an asked, "What will you do in the future?"

Lao Yu said: "I don't want to paint anymore, I go to my friend and learn how to design from scratch."

For some reason, Li Shi'an felt more uncomfortable when he heard Lao Yu say that he would give up painting than when he gave up.

Old Yu seemed to want to say something comforting, but he scratched his ears, but he didn't say anything.

"Is it difficult?" Li Shi'an suddenly asked Lao Yu.

"What?" Lao Yu asked.

Li Shi'an said: "Everything, dreams, and homosexuality."

Lao Yu didn't seem to have thought that Li Shi'an would use him as a soul mentor. After thinking carefully, he replied: "It's difficult, because you don't know the environment we are in. When choosing a gay person is like choosing to eat at noon." as natural as anything."

"Then what should I do?" Li Shi'an asked helplessly.

Lao Yu thought about it again and said, "Have you ever regretted giving up painting?"

Li Shi'an nodded.

Lao Yu spread his hands towards him and said nothing more.

Li Shi'an understood.

He gave up his paintbrush. He once told Zhuang Jing that a hobby is a hobby, not a pursuit in life. But in fact, after giving up his paintbrush, he never dared to come to Lao Yu's studio, and even thought of Shen Yan's work in his favorite place. If he pursues more than one thing, he is very envious.

He regretted it, of course he regretted it, now, can he still give up on Shen Yan?

"However," Lao Yu pointed to the deserted studio door and said, "Sometimes there is a price to pay. In most cases, not giving up does not mean that you will get any good results. I am a good example."

After speaking, Lao Yu turned his head to look at the flow of people downstairs in the building.

"Then do you regret it?" Li Shi'an asked.

Although he said a lot of frustrating words in front of Shen Yan and Lao Yu yesterday, but in all fairness, he didn't know if he regretted it, so he said, "I don't know."

Li Shi'an asked again: "Then do you still think it's a pity that I gave up painting?"

Lao Yu was taken aback for a moment, then said, "Of course it's a pity."

Li Shi'an nodded and left. Walking on the street full of people, he saw a guitarist singing on the side of the street, singing "Blue Lotus", the same ringtone of Lao Yu's cell phone for a hundred years.

There are pedestrians coming and going around, with dull expressions and hurried steps, no one stops to listen to a piece, or sends a tip to the guitarist.However, the guitarist was still immersed in his own world, he played, he sang, he put away the guitar and bowed to Li Shi'an. At this moment, Li Shi'an felt that amidst all the noise, only the guitarist was alive.

He bowed back, but when he looked up, he saw that the guitarist had already left, and in front of him was a mobile phone store.

Li Shi'an stood for a moment, then walked in.

When the hired driver told Li Qishan that he didn't pick up Li Shi'an, Li Qishan rushed home from the factory, but he couldn't find Li Shi'an at home, and couldn't contact him by phone. Li Qishan felt angry.

Li Shi'an rushed home after buying the mobile phone, and when he got home, he happened to meet the angry Li Qishan.

As soon as the father and son met, Li Qishan asked him angrily: "I sent someone to pick you up, where have you been?"

Li Shi'an could have lied, saying that he went to Lao Yu's place, or that he went to buy a mobile phone, but he thought about it and planned to tell the truth to Li Qishan: "I went to see Shen Yan."

"You..." Li Qishan suppressed his rage, he had finished speaking and cursing what he should say, and when facing Li Shi'an, he really felt powerless, "What exactly do you want?"

Li Shi'an asked calmly: "Dad, why didn't you ask me, why didn't you pass the art test after studying painting for so many years?"

Li Qishan was stunned. All along, he didn't ask because he knew that Li Shi'an wanted to take the art test. He didn't ask because he didn't want Li Shi'an to take the art test.

He loves his son, but he also has his own selfishness. In order to conceal this selfishness, he suddenly said forcefully: "What am I asking you? What are you talking about? I want you to tell me what you really want! With that kid?"

Li Shi'an still lowered his head, and answered his own question: "Because you want me to take over your burden, you have always chosen to turn a blind eye to the things I like. You treat studying art as if you have no time to care about me. Send it off, but I have really liked it for so many years."

"'Our Shi'an is the most sensible', 'You are a sensible child', 'You know how not to let daddy worry', these are the words you often say to me, every time I feel that if I don't listen to you I will be sorry for the word 'sensible'."

"I have a father who never gave up on me. He does everything for me, works overtime for me, plans my life for me, and helps me make decisions for me. I should be grateful. How can I say 'No'."

He finally raised his head, looked straight at Li Qishan, and said in a calm voice, "But Dad, I am also a person, and I also want to make my own choice without deviating so much from the track of life. "

Li Qishan has always believed that he has done a good job in the role of a father, but he did not expect that in the eyes of his son, all efforts are persecution.

The clenched fist was loosened, and he sat weakly on the sofa at home, and asked dejectedly: "Does that mean that Dad wants you to take the entrance examination for the art academy you want, so you won't associate with Shen Yan?"

Li Shi'an looked at Li Qishan for a while, and finally said, "Dad, what I want is not to enter the art academy, what I want is to make my own decision."

After speaking, he got up and went upstairs.

***

Shen Yan was sitting dejectedly on the small folding bed. He begged Li Shi'an not to give up on himself, but Li Shi'an didn't give him a positive answer. After Li Shi'an left, he fell into endless panic.

He kept flipping through the previous chat records with Li Shi'an, trying to find some sweet moments to comfort himself, but at this moment he received a text message from an unfamiliar number: Don't give up, don't worry.