Zhu Mu Lang Ma

Mom's slap was so hard that Fu Yijie was shaken a bit before he could stand still.

There was a screeching sound in my ears, like a broken radio, and my mind was blank, with no ability to think at all.

Ever since he was a child, his mother never beat him. My mother always said that he was more stable than Fu Kun, and he was more sensible and obedient than Fu Kun. side.

This was the first time my mother hit him in more than ten years. This slap slapped him directly off the cliff and into the icy water.

"Mom..." Fu Yijie cried out with difficulty, the slightest fear that emerged from the depths of his heart made his voice a little hoarse.

Mom, when the word was called out, he suddenly felt that he had lost the calmness and comfort he had always had.

This is the word he has engraved in his heart for more than ten years. This is his mother, the person who made him warm and at ease, but he made this person angry. No, it's not just as simple as being angry...

When his mother raised her hand and was about to hit her a second time, Fu Kun rushed out from behind and grabbed her hand: "Mom!"

"Who is your mother!" My mother yelled, raised her foot and stomped on Fu Kun's foot fiercely, "Get out of here!"

"Mom, mom," Fu Kun almost yelled out in pain. His mother was wearing a board mop that he had just bought a while ago. It was as if someone had hit him with a hammer when he stepped down. He endured the pain on his feet. The pain hugged my mother and did not let go, pushing her to the living room, "Don't be angry, I will explain to you..."

"Explain what! Ah? Explain what!" Mom struggled, kicking and hitting Fu Kun.

Fu Yijie took a step forward, wanting to say something, but when he suddenly saw the tears in his mother's eyes, his heart twitched violently, and what he wanted to say was stuck in his throat There was a tearing pain.

"What's the matter!" Dad ran out of the bedroom. He had a rest today and has been sleeping.

"Old Fu—" Mom pushed Fu Kun away, threw herself into Dad's arms, and cried out, "Oh my God!"

"Don't cry, what's wrong?" Dad hugged her, glanced at Fu Kun and Fu Yijie, pulled Mom into the bedroom, and closed the door.

The living room was suddenly empty, Fu Kun stood in the middle of the room, he could hear his mother's crying and his father's deep voice through the door.

He slowly turned around and looked at Fu Yijie. The slap on Fu Yijie's face was clearly visible and a little swollen: "A bit..."

"You tell mom," Fu Yijie seemed to come to his senses suddenly, walked up to him, and said eagerly, "Brother, tell mom that it's me, you didn't, you didn't! She may not have heard clearly, you tell her It's me, go and tell mom! It's all me..."

Fu Kun looked at the incoherent Fu Yijie and frowned. He felt that what happened in just a few minutes was like a dream, a dream of confusion, confusion, and pain.

He was very dizzy, and the hand he reached out to touch Fu Yijie's face was almost empty. Fu Yijie took his hand and pressed it to his face, but quickly let go, and walked towards the door of Mom and Dad's bedroom. Take a look over there.

"Brother," Fu Yijie squatted down slowly, bit his lip, and scratched his hair several times, "I was wrong, I was really... wrong, I didn't intend to make it like this... I It's just...I don't want my family to know, I just want to tell you...I..."

"I know," Fu Kun said softly, "I know."

The bedroom door opened, and Dad came out, looked at them with a sullen face, and then at Fu Kun: "You come in."

The last bit of luck in Fu Yijie's heart was shattered by his father's expression. His mother didn't know how much he heard, but he must have heard the last words.

"Dad," he stood up abruptly, and grabbed Fu Kun who was about to go to the bedroom, "Let me explain this."

Dad glanced at him, turned around and went back to the bedroom: "If you want to die in line, it will be you in a while."

"You wait." Fu Kun patted him lightly.

"Tell them you're not," Fu Yijie grabbed his arm, his voice was low and his hands were shaking violently, "Tell them you're not, as long as parents are fine... I don't want anything, I don't want anything ……I was wrong……"

Fu Kun squeezed his hand very hard, stared at him, and walked into the bedroom with his arm out.

The moment the bedroom door was closed, Fu Yijie burst into tears. The unbearable pain in his heart made him unable to stand, so he had to bend down to support his knees, and finally knelt down on the ground.

Why don't you hold back!Fu Yijie, why don't you hold back!Why are you so impulsive!

Your brother told you to hold back!You should hold back!Even if you die, you have to hold back!

You clearly know the consequences!Why are you still talking!Why!

Why let the whole family become like this because of you!

Parents must be chilling...

I will regret it...

Fu Yijie's head was on the floor, and his arms were tightly wrapped around himself, but he couldn't relieve the colic in his body. Fear, worry, despair, these pains that kept coming up made him unbearable.

After Fu Kun entered, the room was very quiet, the low voices could not tell who was who, nor could he hear what was being said.

Fu Yijie just kept lying on the floor, his ears were still buzzing, except for his own heartbeat, he heard all the sounds as if he was covered in a quilt, and he couldn't hear clearly.

Tuanzi kept moaning and moaning around him, and finally lay down next to his face. His left cheek was in a burning pain, which burned his whole body as if he had been thrown into a fire, and it was so painful.

This hopeless waiting is suffocating.

Fu Yijie felt that his body was getting lighter and lighter, and when his consciousness was about to drift away with the chaotic noises in his head, there was the sound of something breaking on the floor in the bedroom, followed by a heavy muffled sound. .

"Fu Kun!" My mother's voice sounded at the same time.

Fu Yijie suddenly became nervous, straightened up and wanted to run to the bedroom, his body was a little numb, he staggered a few steps and threw himself on the door.

"Brother!" Fu Yijie turned the door lock and found that it was locked. He patted the door, "Mom! What's wrong! Mom!"

No one came to open the door, Fu Yijie still could only vaguely hear his mother's crying voice, he twisted the door lock a few more times: "Mom, I beg you, please open the door! Mom, I was wrong!"

"Fu Yijie, come in!" Mom shouted from inside.

Fu Yijie gritted his teeth and twisted the door lock hard. The door lock made a crisp "click" sound and was broken by him.

He opened the door and rushed into the room. His mother stood in the room with red eyes, Fu Kun sat on the ground with a pale face, and his father supported him. There were broken vases on the ground.

"I fainted." Dad glanced at Fu Yijie.

Fu Yijie's legs were a little weak, he rushed to Fu Kun's side, staring at his face: "What's wrong?"

"I'm not dizzy," Fu Kun frowned, "I didn't stand firm."

"Send your brother to the hospital first," Dad helped Fu Kun to stand up, "I'll talk about other things when I come back."

"I'm really fine, I just haven't had a good rest..."

"If you tell you to go, go!" My mother cried and roared, "You have to be a hero in everything else!"

"Go to the hospital." Fu Yijie took Fu Kun's arm, bent down to carry him on his back, and ran outside.

Fu Kun sat on a chair in the hospital for infusion, and Fu Yijie sat opposite him.

The doctor said that Fu Kun just didn't have a good rest, he was a little anxious, and there was nothing wrong with his body, just rest for two days.

Fu Yijie sent a text message to his father telling them that Fu Kun was fine, and his father replied with one word, yes.

Fu Yijie stared at the word in a daze.

"Come here." Fu Kun said.

Fu Yijie got up and sat beside him, Fu Kun patted his hand: "You go back to school first tomorrow."

"In a few days." Fu Yijie grabbed Fu Kun's hand and held it tightly, "How can I leave now in this situation."

Fu Kun sighed softly: "Even if this matter takes a few more days, it won't be resolved. It's meaningless for you to stay at home. No matter what, you have to give your parents some time to relax."

"Are you..." Fu Yijie turned his head to look at him, "Have you admitted it?"

"En." Fu Kun responded.

Fu Yijie froze, and tightened the hand holding Fu Kun.

"There are some things that you have to admit," Fu Kun said softly, "Besides, mom heard it too."

"Mom...what's your attitude?" Fu Yijie asked very difficultly.

Fu Kun didn't speak, and it took a while before he could squeeze out a smile.

When I got home from the hospital, it was past lunch time, the house was quiet, the kitchen was deserted, my parents were sitting on the sofa in the living room in a daze, and the TV was not turned on.

Fu Yijie changed his shoes in the corridor, but he hardly had the courage to walk into the living room. He couldn't face his parents. He was afraid of seeing the painful eyes of these two people who had devoted all their efforts to him.

"I'll go buy something to eat." Fu Yijie said carefully.

"No need," my mother leaned on the sofa with her hands on her forehead, her eyes were very red and swollen, her face was also gray, and she looked very depressed, "I can't eat."

Fu Kun walked into the living room and sat on a chair.

Fu Yijie stood there without moving. The oppressive and hopeless atmosphere at home suffocated him. He didn't dare to move, and didn't want to move. He just wanted to stand like this, and every cell in his body lost its vitality.

"How to solve your money problem?" Dad looked at Fu Kun and finally asked.

"I still have some money on hand, I'll see if I can do something else first." Fu Kun pinched his brows, "Don't worry, I can handle this matter."

Dad didn't say anything, but turned to look at Fu Yijie: "Yijie."

Before Fu Yijie had time to respond, his mother suddenly covered her face and cried out. Fu Yijie suddenly seemed to be hit by a tamping machine, and his internal organs shrank into a ball in pain.

"Mom," he said in a low voice, his nose sore, "I'm sorry."

Mom ignored him, just cried, and finally stood up and ran back to the house.

The painful crying that came from the room silenced several people.

"This matter," Dad stood up, "we can't accept it, no matter how we look at it."

When Fu Yijie returned to school, he took two days off from the hospital and stayed in the dormitory without saying a word.

Until he came back, he couldn't talk to his mother. Although he knew it was useless to say anything, he still wanted to talk.

Mom, I was wrong.

Mom, I'm sorry.

Mom, don't ignore me...

But he didn't say anything in the end, the family was like a muted world, everyone was silent, even he and Fu Kun had nothing to say, it felt like they were looking at each other, they were looking at their parents s damage.

Jiang Song put the dinner he had brought back on the table, and after sitting on the edge of the lower bunk for a while, he went out again with a cigarette in his mouth.

He told Jiang Song about the family affairs, but Jiang Song didn't say anything, didn't ask more questions, and didn't offer any comfort.

This made Fu Yijie feel relaxed. What he fears and needs most now is comfort.Reassuring doesn't do anything at all, it's not something that can be fixed with a few words, it just makes him feel upset.

All he can think about now is worry, worry about his parents, worry about Fu Kun, worry about this home that once brought him warmth and joy.

The deep sense of guilt made him almost collapse.

The phone was ringing, and Fu Yijie grabbed it. Although he knew that the possibility of Fu Kun calling him when he was at home at night was very slim, he still had a faint expectation.

Not Fu Kun.

The power that erupted from Fu Yijie's body due to anticipation was emptied at once, and he pressed the answer feebly: "Hello."

"Yijie." Lu Yanqiu's voice came from the receiver.

"En." Fu Yijie responded, and looked at the small desk calendar on the table.

"I'll come to your place tomorrow to talk about things, and have dinner together tonight?" Lu Yanqiu said, "Talk about your plan, do you have time?"

Fu Yijie hesitated for a few seconds: "I have time."

"Then it's settled. I'll pick you up from get off work at your hospital tomorrow afternoon."

"Ok."

"Yijie, are you not feeling well?" Lu Yanqiu probably heard the tiredness in his voice.

"No, a little sleepy."

"...Then you rest first, see you tomorrow."

The next day, it was time for Fu Yijie to ask for leave. He went to the hospital on time, but he was a little distracted, and was called and scolded by Doctor Liu several times.

In the afternoon when there were fewer things to do, he went to the corridor and called Fu Kun. If Fu Kun was at home, he should be the only one at home at this time.

"A piece?" Fu Kun quickly answered the phone.

Hearing Fu Kun's voice, Fu Yijie suddenly had the urge to cry. Even though Fu Kun's hoarse voice was full of exhaustion, he still felt a burst of warmth.

"Are you feeling better?" Fu Yijie pressed his eyes.

"It's okay, it's nothing at all," Fu Kun smiled, "Are you in the hospital?"

"Well, I'm fine now," Fu Yijie held the phone tightly, "Parents... are you okay?"

Fu Kun was silent for a while before speaking: "It's still the same, not very good."

Fu Yijie leaned against the wall next to him. In fact, he knew the answer to this sentence without asking. For them, the current situation was a dead end.

How to do?

"Yijie," Fu Kun said in a low voice, "Some things are just like this, and maybe we can't find a real solution in this lifetime."

"I know," Fu Yijie closed his eyes. He knew very well that this matter, no matter what he did, would be hurt, especially his relationship with Fu Kun was right in front of him. This was what he had called his brother for more than ten years The person I love is the brother whom my parents have loved for more than ten years, "I didn't want to do anything at first. All I wanted for so many years was just to let you know, and I just wanted a...response."

Fu Kun smiled: "Are you satisfied? My response."

"Well," Fu Yijie also smiled, Fu Kun's sentence "I am the same" and the look in his eyes when he said this sentence, he will never forget in his life, "As happy as if I want to fly."

This kind of happiness that made him want to hug him tightly was only for a short moment, his smile was still on the corner of his mouth, but his mood fell rapidly: "Will you take it back?"

"No," Fu Kun paused, "No matter what you have to face in the future, whether it's uncomfortable or helpless, just remember it and just be at ease."

"Okay." Fu Yijie nodded. He didn't seem to understand Fu Kun's words, but he didn't ask any more questions. Any change now might collapse everything he cherished. He became cautious and didn't dare to say more. Ask more, think more.

Lu Yanqiu called on time when he was off work, and when Fu Yijie changed and walked out of the hospital, her car had already parked outside the hospital.

"Is the internship very tiring?" Lu Yanqiu turned to look at him while driving the car, "You have a bad complexion."

"It's more tiring than class." Fu Yijie smiled.

Lu Yanqiu didn't have much contact with him, that is, he would occasionally ask him out for a chat when he came here to work. His current state was probably too obvious to someone who didn't meet often.

Lu Yanqiu asked for a small private room. After ordering, Fu Yijie poured her a cup of tea. She took a sip and put down the cup: "Let's just talk about your plan. Go back and rest early after eating."

"En." Fu Yijie poured himself a cup of tea.

"How much money do you have now?"

"15." Fu Yijie replied.

"Not enough." Lu Yanqiu swirled the cup up and down.

"Not counting the equipment."

"Where's the equipment?" Lu Yanqiu smiled.

"You come and pay, three sets are fine," Fu Yijie looked at her, "The proceeds will be distributed to you in proportion, and we can discuss the details."

Lu Yanqiu smiled and nodded: "Okay, what about the doctor?"

"I can find a doctor, school brother or something, and I will contact the attending doctor if I need to add more equipment in the future." Fu Yijie said, these are things he has thought about for a long time, and he has repeatedly considered every detail.

Lu Yanqiu didn't ask many questions. When Fu Yijie first mentioned this matter to her, she was in favor and would definitely support it.

"I can ask about the house for you when I get back. For other things, you have to run around more by yourself." Lu Yanqiu clapped his hands, "Eat, chat while eating."

Fu Yijie had no appetite for the past few days, and the food tasted like nothing in his mouth.

When he was about to finish eating, he put down his chopsticks and said hesitantly: "I have something else, can you help me?"

"What's the matter?" Lu Yanqiu also put down his chopsticks.

"The hospital over there, can you contact me for a dental practice?" Fu Yijie bit his lip.

Lu Yanqiu was stunned: "Internship? Didn't you do a good internship?"

"I want to go home for an internship." Fu Yijie stared at the chopsticks. He thought about this for a few days. He brought such chaos to the family, and his parents are in such a state now. He was unwilling no matter what. So far from home.

Lu Yanqiu thought for a while: "Yijie, can you tell me what happened?"

Fu Yijie looked at her without saying a word.

This woman is his biological mother, although he has not been able to accept this woman who once abandoned him and turned around to hope for his forgiveness.

But now, this person who is outside his life and is also his mother makes him have another feeling.

It's not acceptance, it's not closeness, it's not acceptance, it's just an inexplicable trust.

"If," Fu Yijie frowned, his voice lowered, "I'm gay, what's your attitude?"

Lu Yanqiu was obviously taken aback for a moment, and asked after a while: "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Fu Yijie gently pinched his fingers.

Lu Yanqiu bowed his head in silence for a long time, took a sip of tea from his cup, and looked up at him: "This is your private matter, I should...not interfere."

Fu Yijie smiled, he was not surprised that Lu Yanqiu would have such an attitude.

Lu Yanqiu is different from my mother. Lu Yanqiu has been abroad, and his ideas will be more open, but the most essential difference is...

"Your mother knows?" Lu Yanqiu asked.

Fu Yijie nodded.

"She probably can't accept it," Lu Yanqiu sighed, "After all... I have a different relationship with you."

Yes, the relationship is different, Xiao Shuqin is the mother, he is Xiao Shuqin's son, his own son, this is the most essential difference.

Because in the eyes of his mother, he has the same status as Fu Kun, and he is his mother's second baby.

"Do you have someone you like now?" Lu Yanqiu tried to ask.

"Yes," Fu Yijie responded, sweat dripping from his clenched hands, "Fu Kun."

Lu Yanqiu's hands trembled, and the tea in the cup shook out.

"I'm going back to the dormitory." Fu Yijie stood up suddenly, he wanted to call his mother, he suddenly wanted to hear her voice.

Lu Yanqiu drove him back to the dormitory, and he ran to the mountain behind the dormitory before stopping, took out his mobile phone and dialed the number at home.

It was his father who answered the phone. Fu Yijie leaned against a tree, fearing that he would be unable to support himself and sit on the ground.

"Dad, it's me." He summoned up the courage to speak.

"Yijie." Dad seemed a little surprised, and then fell silent.

"I'm fine, I just want to make a call." Fu Yijie felt that his father's voice sounded a little old in just a few days.

"Ah."

Fu Yijie didn't know what to say, he and his father had never been so embarrassed with nothing to say: "Is Mom there?"

"She fell asleep."

"Oh," Fu Yijie bent down, and slowly squatted under the tree, "Then you should rest early, I... died."

Fu Yijie squatted under the tree for a long time. This was the first time he was so scared and helpless when he grew up.

He wanted to call Fu Kun, but the moment he dialed the number, he hung up again. He was afraid that his father, who hadn't slept yet, would have thoughts when Fu Kun's phone rang.

When he returned to the dormitory, Jiang Song was the only one sitting at the table playing computer games. He lay down on Jiang Song's bed and said, "I'll sleep here, you go to sleep."

"En." Jiang Song glanced at him.

Fu Yijie lay on Jiang Song's bed all night. He stared at him all night. When it was almost dawn, he was so sleepy that he almost went crazy, but he couldn't fall asleep no matter what.

When the phone's alarm rang at seven o'clock, Fu Yijie jumped up from the bed and walked out of the dormitory with his slippers on.

He dialed Fu Kun's number in the corridor.

The receiver was very quiet, and he felt that the wait was extremely long, so he couldn't help kicking the wall.

There was finally a dial tone on the phone, and he straightened his back.

The dial tone repeated monotonously until the last automatic hang-up, and Fu Kun didn't answer the call.