Died Before the Wedding

His mother is great.

After her husband passed away when Xie Chenmin was very young, she raised Xie Chenmin while working hard outside her career and making her family rich.

The first time he told me that he was going to take me to see his mother, I suddenly felt more nervous than ever.

I was surprised to say that your mother agreed.

He said, our mother.

I was silent for a long time.

Ever since my mother came to our school that time, some rumors, true or false, have sprung up and spread to my family, which will only make their impression of Xie Chenmin more frosty.

I'm very upset about my parents.

I want to respect them, but they never seem to respect my thoughts and wishes.

What I'm not happy about is why Xie Chenmin should be so unbearable in their hearts.

I am their son and they love me, so isn't Xie Chenmin the son and daughter that his parents hold dear to his heart?

I was a little afraid to face Xie Mu.

At that time, he was studying in graduate school and I was working. My city was closer to his home, and I took the high-speed train to go there by myself.

But the night before yesterday, I was dragged by my colleagues to eat skewers, and I ate something spicy. Then my throat became inflamed and my tonsils were so swollen that I couldn't speak.

I can feel that Xie Chenmin is about to die of worry through WeChat texts. I am like a child who is traveling far for the first time, and he asks me all the way to the destination.

I turned on Do Not Disturb in annoyance.

Xie's mother is very reticent, I don't know why Xie Chenmin can speak so much.

Mother Xie just said "coming" when I arrived.

Then pour me a cup of hot water and add a few anti-inflammatory drugs.

She said, Chen Min said, your throat is broken.

I hummed.

I remember the first time I visited their home, Mother Xie didn’t say a word to me, she just cooked quietly while I washed the vegetables for her.

I thought she didn't like me, just forced a smile in front of Xie Chenmin.

When I was leaving, she gave me a bottle of medicine and told me to remember to take the medicine and stop eating spicy food.

I remembered that the dishes on the dinner table were all bland, and some of them were specially developed by Xie Chenmin according to my taste, especially for me who didn't like to eat when I was sick.

They all taste exactly the same.

I went back and lay on the bed for a long time, until I saw 99 plus and missed calls on my phone, I made a video call to Xie Chenmin.

His first sentence was, have you taken your medicine?

I shook my head.

He said, take your medicine quickly.

I got up, touched the medicine given by Xie Mu from the bedside, unscrewed it, and found a small note in a plastic bag inside.

There are a series of numbers and words written on it, Xie Chenmin has no income now, you can use my card when you spend money, don't feel wronged.

Finally, I added a sentence, I will send you the verification code, don't tell Xie Chenmin.

The front camera of my mobile phone has very high pixels. After Xie Chenmin saw it clearly, he hung up the video and bombed his mother.

He clamored that it was unfair, that he had never been treated this way.

Xie's mother has always paid him a fixed amount of money in his card every month, and if he wants to, he can only go through complicated procedures like approval by the leader.As a result, he could only "work-study" in his freshman year.

Mother Xie, who was bombed, sent me a message, and I could see her helplessness through the text. She said, you child, why are you so incapable of doing things.

She has adopted this kind of spy method, but I was accidentally discovered by Xie Chenmin.

I couldn't help laughing.

Xie's mother is quiet and cold, but she is a very interesting person.

She later told me that the money Xie Chenmin gave me to buy a computer was earned by himself from part-time jobs. When she failed to apply for "approval" of the money with her, she felt that something was wrong with Xie Chenmin.

Xie Chenmin said that my mother's original attitude was that she neither supported nor opposed her, but she said that since I mustered up the courage to tell her, she will work hard and learn to support us.

I said, mom is very good to me.

He said, well, she said it was because you were someone else's child.

After finishing speaking, Xie Chenmin felt angry again, and continued to quarrel with his mother.

……

Xie mother said, come.

Xie Chenmin said, yes.

She said, if you haven't eaten, I'll make some for you.

She seemed to know what Xie Chenmin did yesterday, she didn't speak, and quietly made him stomach-warming hot porridge.

He went to the kitchen and wanted to help, but Xie Mu refused and told him to stand aside.

Xie Mu said, this kitchen is not fried.

He said, I don't blow up.

She said, you rest.

He was watching her back, and he said, Mom, I miss you.

I saw Xie's mother's movements froze for a moment.

The mother and son met each other not long ago.

at my funeral.

She just hummed and said nothing.

Xie Chenmin didn't say anything special, stayed for a while after eating, and then left.

Before leaving, Xie Mu said, take good care of yourself.

Xie Chenmin nodded and said, I'm going to see Dad.

……

It was during those evening self-study sessions that he was by his side every day, and he told me that his father left very early.

His memory still remained on the tall man who lifted him on his shoulders as soon as he got home, and then went to the kitchen together to steal food.Or he was writing crooked kindergarten number problems by the window while letting the wind go.Seeing my mother downstairs coming back, I yelled at my father who was secretly playing mobile games.

Every time he is on a business trip, no matter whether he has something to do or not, he will call home at a fixed time every day.Sometimes Xie's mother perfunctorily gives the mobile phone to little Xie Chenmin.

He would say, Dad, it's you again.

The other side said, go, go, and return the phone to your mother.

He said, I don't want it.

That said, go to McDonald's on weekends.

He immediately said, yes.Then obediently handed the phone back.

Then Xie's mother would hang up the endless daily nonsense on the other side of the phone.

Little Xie Chenmin looks forward to his father's business trip every day, looks forward to his call every day, looks forward to his mother giving him the phone every day, looks forward to his father's promise of a weekend every day, looks forward to his mother hugging him after hanging up the phone and revealing of a smile.

But then once, my father went on a business trip and never came back.

The stele thanked her mother for her whole life, and she would rather choose the most difficult path than remarry.

He said that our mother has a driver's license but never drives a car, and seldom takes a car. Now she basically travels by shared bicycles and subways.

Because his father died in a car accident.

……

He laid flowers on his father's grave.

Knelt down to clean up the tombstone for him, staring at his photo for a long time.

He said, if he had known that he had chosen this place at the beginning, you two could meet again.

My disembodied heart was stabbed a bit.

After he finished speaking, he got up and left. I saw that he bought a train ticket on his mobile phone.

When I saw clearly the destination on it, the sting was even deeper.

He is my hometown, where my parents live.

……

He said, by the way, do you know how my name came from.

He was having a room with me when he posed this serious question.

I shielded my eyes with my arm and said, I don't want to know now.

When I made love to him, the shame was overflowing, and he had to talk to me, leaving half of me in a trance while the other half kept me sane.

He continued, my mother's surname is Min, a very rare surname.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, bit my lip and hummed.

He said, I went in.

I said, good.

He endured it for many days, and his movements were violent and wild, almost frenzied, but I got pleasure from it.

You can't stop it.

He said, at the beginning, you are high above me, and I am your subject.

My ears are blushing, part of the reason is because his love words are too second-guess.

So much so that I didn't dare to call him Chen Min anymore, as soon as I called him, I would think of the meaning of the middle school two.

He said, you are not a monarch, but I am willing to submit

An ellipsis rose in my heart, and I said with a dark face, I blocked you.

Then Xie Chenmin, who hadn't passed the second term, stayed on the blacklist for a day.

……

My parents will not give him a good look.

No matter how far he came here, and no matter what his health was like, he would never get a bowl of porridge to warm his stomach.

When my mother opened the door and saw him with haggard eyes, a trace of vitality inside withered again.

She closed the door forcefully, trying to shut Xie Chenmin outside, but Xie Chenmin pushed the door open rebelliously and went in.

He apologized to my mother, for knocking the door.

My mother was shaking with anger, and I saw the awards, trophies and photos of me from childhood to adulthood hanging in the room.

When I don't let them display these when I'm at home, they don't.Unexpectedly, when I was away, these things, which I thought they had thrown away long ago, were kept so brand new.

Another suit is being ironed.

Xie Chenmin doesn't know, but I know, this suit is the first time I bought my father's suit, I found a reason and told him, if you come to our wedding, remember to wear this suit.

He was staring at the clothes in a daze, but when he heard the word wedding, he was so angry that he threw it into the trash can in front of me.

I left, and it turned out that he secretly picked it up again.

Xie Chenmin looked at these things, momentarily at a loss for words.

My mother's red and swollen eyes shed tears again, and she said, "Give us back Xiaochu..."

My father hurried out of the inner room when he heard the commotion, was startled when he saw Xie Chenmin, and then shouted, get out of here.

he cried, Dad.

My father seemed to have been greatly humiliated, trembling and angrily said, get out of here.

My dad is a veteran. He has made half his life's merits, but he said that the rest of his life will be thrown away by me.

His thinking is still stuck in the idea that homosexuality is equal to drugs, cults, and crimes. He has been stubborn for half his life, and I can't change it.

Xie Chenmin looked at the two elders, bathed in cries and abuse, as well as strange eyes from curious people.

We have lived in an inclusive and friendly bright environment for too long, forgetting that there are shadows in this world, and shadows can never find light, and no one can eliminate the deep-rooted prejudices and rumors there.

He didn't move until my dad picked up the broom casually.

My dad came up to him and he knelt down.

He said, Dad, Mom, it's my fault, please hit me, I'm sorry.

I saw my dad stop, his hands were shaking.

He saw a forceful swing land on him.

I want to rush in front of him to block him, and tell him, you are not wrong.

Get the hell out of here and don't apologize.

Nai He couldn't do anything.

He said, if you feel discouraged, you can beat me to death, as long as you can't beat me to death, I will be your old son in the future.

He said persistently, I will come back to see you again.

I saw my father stop and drag him out.

I heard my mother's cry.

I feel his heart that has been scarred by fate.

He stood outside the door until all the voices inside had subsided before leaving sadly.

……

Fate is indeed playing tricks on me and him.

He purposely set the wedding on my birthday, which was my birthday when I was seven years old.