Jujube

One of the first symptoms of a neurotic is often erotomania.

Pan Guizhi said that Lu Xinyao liked Mei Qingqing's ass.

There are many people who like Mei Qingqing's buttocks, and these people can line up from the head to the end of the village in Baiquedang. When Mei Qingqing is walking on the road in a floral dress, nine out of ten men in the streets and alleys can't help but look at her. She looked around, and the remaining one was probably blind.The old matchmaker said, who can't catch up with a girl like Mei Qingqing?If she is determined to follow someone, unless the other party breaks her mind, she will never refuse.

I asked Zhang Buyu: "Do you know Mei Qingqing?"

Zhang Buyu blushed immediately, and revealed a secret to me. He said that his parents had a fight because of Mei Qingqing.Zhang Buyu's family opened a restaurant, and Mei Qingqing went to eat at his house. When Zhang Buyu's father settled the bill, he undercharged six yuan. Although he claimed that he made a mistake by accident, Zhang Buyu's mother still insisted that he did it on purpose. Not counting.

Zhang Buyu also said firmly: "My dad must have done it on purpose. When he served Mei Qingqing, his face was flushed, and he didn't look like my own dad."

I asked him again: "Does your father like Mei Qingqing's ass?"

Zhang Buyu blushed and denied, "What nonsense are you talking about! Your father just..." In the middle of his speech, he seemed to suddenly remember that Meng Guanghui was dead. It should be like it... I heard my mother say it when she was arguing with him. "

I then asked: "Then do you like Mei Qingqing?"

"Mei Qingqing is older than me. When I can get married like my father, Mei Qingqing will be old!" Zhang Buyu was stunned for a moment, then stared at me strangely, and said suspiciously, "Xiao Lizi, what are you asking? ? You don’t like Mei Qingqing’s butt, do you?”

I shook my head hastily, Zhang Buyu said puzzledly: "Then why do you ask these things?"

I told Zhang Buyu: "I want to know why they like Mei Qingqing's ass."

Zhang Buyu seemed taken aback and was speechless for a while.His expression made it clear to me that he couldn't answer my question.

Does Lu Xinyao like Mei Qingqing's ass?Did he like Mei Qingqing's ass first, or Mei Qingqing's ass because he likes Mei Qingqing?

Does Lu Xinyao like Mei Qingqing?

At night, I lay in bed and thought about these questions over and over again. The more I thought about it, the more I couldn't fall asleep. Then I heard my brother breathing.I felt the tranquility and throbbing of the night in his breathing at the same time, these two completely different feelings were strangely produced at the same time.

His breath rose and fell gently like a feather in the darkness, and I couldn't help being distracted, my ears became extremely sensitive, and suddenly I felt a wisp of breath blowing lightly into the ear canal, and suddenly the pinna of my ear felt hot and numb.

I turned sideways and pressed my ears against the pillow, as if I had received some kind of secret guidance, I held my breath, stretched out my hand and quietly opened the quilt.

The profile of my brother and his smell entered my eyes and nose together, making it difficult for me to breathe, as if a cluster of tiny flames were burning warmly in my body, almost consuming all the oxygen.

When Lu Xinyao came back from the factory every evening, his body smelled of gasoline and machinery. After taking a shower, his body smelled very light of soap.Occasionally he could smell tobacco too—when he'd been to the pool hall or the ice rink.I love everything about my brother.If they were going to deprive me of oxygen, I'd happily suffocate on poison to quench my thirst.

But my brother tortured me in a different way.Before suffocation, I suddenly got a strange disease, as if a spider was running around my body, pulling out thousands of thin itchy threads, I felt myself twitching, and couldn't help clamping my legs.

It got into me.I heard myself let out a sharp moan.

No one told me what to do, it was almost instinctive, and when I realized it, I had already imitated Pan Guizhi in the Internet cafe and imitated his actions poorly.

... Nine Yin White Bone Claws.I panicked and thought, I can't learn from him!stop!But I couldn't control my hand anymore, it was manipulated by another force and went mad.

My low cry for help echoed in the bed: "Brother! I'm so uncomfortable, I'm going to die..."

I kept calling to my brother for help, but I dared not let him hear.

"Help me!" Sweat and tears stimulated the corners of my eyes at the same time. The nocturnal emission that I easily completed in my dream under the orders of my brother became extremely difficult when I was awake. The Jiuyin who stole from Pan Guizhi Boneclaws only hurt me.

In pain, I thought of what Pan Guizhi said in the past. He said that when he was masturbating, his mind was full of women's buttocks, some he had seen and some he hadn't seen. ——Pan Guizhi will use imagination to process butts that he has never seen before.For example, he has never seen Mei Qingqing's butt, but he is very familiar with it, because he often imagines that butt in his mind.He also told me that what he likes and what he wants is what he thinks in his mind.

I don't like Mei Qingqing, and I don't even like her ass.

I don't like other people either, I just want my brother.

Lu Xinyao was lying on the bed next to me, but I no longer dared to open my eyes to look at him.I huddled under the covers, turned my back to my brother, and started fantasizing about him in the darkness.

I think back to Lu Xinyao when he was my age, and the most vivid image is of him in the river, the sparkling light swaying on his bare skin, and the water drops drop by drop.Then I thought of Lu Xinyao in the billiards hall, his eyes showed a blur of beauty and evil...

No, my brother is not bad, but the billiard hall and his bad friends are bad.Everyone is bad, only he is good.He gave me unique trust, when everyone slandered me and I couldn't explain it.

The man who was called Wu Luotuo because of his severe hunchback was walking on the street one day. His walking posture looked very funny from the back. My classmates said he was the Prime Minister Turtle in Journey to the West.

It was just after school, and a few of my idle classmates were wandering the streets. Wu Luotuo's hump attracted them. In order to verify whether this hump was as strong as a mountain, some of them quietly picked up stones on the side of the road, Smashed it.

Wu Luotuo didn't know who was hit by a stone, and yelled, he stretched his hand behind his back, touched his hunchback with difficulty, made sure that no hole had been smashed, and then turned his head ferociously.At this time, my group of hooligan classmates had dispersed like sparrows, and only I was still in his field of vision.Wu Luotuo immediately abused me rudely.

I said it wasn't me, I didn't throw it away, but he didn't believe me, saying that I was quibbling, no one believed me, and even passers-by cast suspicious glances at me.

I was dragged home by Wu Luotuo, who told Sun Yuemei about my bad behavior.I kept shaking my head at Sun Yuemei, but Sun Yuemei still admitted this trumped-up crime for me.

She said to me: "You have to admit that you did it." She also asked Wu Luotuo to be considerate of her. She was really unable to take care of three children at the same time as a woman.

I obviously have a mouth and can speak, and I am not dumb, but at that moment I found that I could not make a sound.

Sun Yuemei told Lu Xinyao about this incident again at night, and I looked at my brother in despair and panic, as if I had really made a mistake.My elder brother, Lu Xinyao, has always been arbitrary, especially when it comes to this seemingly foggy matter.Perhaps even Sun Yuemei didn't expect that he actually listened to my explanation and chose to believe my side of the story.

I have no proof that I didn't do it, why would he believe me?

I haven't figured out the result yet, some kind of strange excitement flooded my whole body like a warm current, under a burst of violent stimulation, my body trembled, and my mind went blank.

Along with sobriety comes fear. I have been afraid of Lu Xinyao since the first time I saw him when I was five years old, and now I am ejaculated because of him.I can't imagine what will happen to my brother if he finds out, and I don't know how to redeem it, so I can only swear to my Guanyin over and over again under the covers.

I begged him to forgive my obscene thoughts and actions, and promised that there would be no next time, please don't hate me.

But I lied again.Even though I knew it was wrong to fantasize about my brother, I just couldn't stop making mistakes.

Whenever night comes, I lie in the dark, and I still can't help but close my eyes and enter the imaginary world.There are countless details in the years we lived together, and I tampered with it while reviewing it, exhausting all my imagination in the blasphemy of my brother.

During the summer vacation of the year after the second year of junior high school, Zhang Buyu got a stack of discs and ran to my house to ask me to hide them for him.I remember that day, he was sweating profusely, and while putting the disc into Lu Xinyao's second-hand computer, he said to me out of breath: "My mother found this from my father's shoe box, and it was almost thrown away. I secretly Picked it up."

In those hot and idle afternoons, Zhang Buyu and I were sitting on the same chair, staring at the computer screen, sweating but dared not open the doors and windows.One day Zhang Buyu said to me nervously: "Meng Li, now I know why my dad likes Mei Qingqing's ass."

Mei Qingqing is very beautiful, the curve of her body is more beautiful than her face.Zhang Buyu gestured clumsily with his hands, saying that Mei Qingqing's buttocks are so round, and comparing them with the buttocks of the female students in our class, he said with certainty: "Mei Qingqing's buttocks are the real woman's buttocks."

I didn't understand what a real woman's ass is, nor why men on those discs would love a woman's ass, and these doubts entered my imagination.

One night, I thought of Lu Xinyao in my dream. He was still sitting in front of the computer and ordered me to go over.Although in fantasy, my heart is still beating chug.I asked him, do you like Mei Qingqing's ass?

Lu Xinyao didn't answer, just like in a dream, he then ordered me: "Sit on brother's lap."

This passage is something I dare not even dream of, but I did it in my imagination.I sat on my brother's lap and felt his hand slide down with his gaze, and touched my ass. My brother said to me in a very low voice: "I don't like women's ass."

Then do you like Mei Qingqing?When I asked this question, I had already thought of an answer for my brother at the same time.He told me according to my wish: "I love you."

I opened my eyes. In reality, my panting and my brother's breathing seemed to be entwined. For a moment, I didn't know where I was, and I couldn't distinguish between reality and illusion. I was so afraid of him, but at this moment, I suddenly felt I got a strong desire to kiss my brother.But when I turned over to face my brother, I immediately became timid.

The unrealistic delusion day after day made up for the trauma Mei Qingqing brought to me, and also deepened my desire for my brother.At first I only dared to fantasize with my back turned to him, then I lay straight and stared at the ceiling, and then... that is, now, I faced my brother and blasphemed him.

Blasphemy is guilty.This sentence echoed repeatedly in my mind.At the same time, another inexplicable thought suddenly popped up, which made me fall into a trance-blasphemy is a crime... so what about the water ghost?

As soon as this idea popped up, it occupied my mind like a possession. At this moment, I decided:

I don't want Lu Xinyao to be my Guanyin, I want him to be a dripping water ghost.

I was so afraid of him, but I couldn't help feeling lucky.My brother won't find out.