Jujube

When the first ray of sunshine after the storm came through the window, I saw Mei Qingqing’s butterfly-like figure at the door of my house. Her long hair fluttered in the wind, and her smooth neck and small earlobes were faintly visible among strands of blue silk.

I have thought about the difference between men and women for a long time.The book says that daughters are made of water, and men are made of mud.Mei Qingqing's hair lifted by the wind reminds me of the swaying ripples on the water, shining with a lovely and holy light.A hand suddenly appeared in front of my eyes, my brother's hand, slipping through the black hair.

This scene may or may not have happened before, and it will happen in the future.But it has jumped out of the track of time and stimulated me at this moment. From that day on, I started to grow long hair.

The hair of the male and female students in our school is getting shorter and shorter every day, but mine is getting longer and longer every day.When a strand of hair touched my shoulder, people in the school began to look at me strangely.In a place where hair grows and gets shorter, my growing hair seems especially eccentric.

But I don't care about others, I only care about what my brother thinks.

Lu Xinyao's gaze once lingered on my hair, and I accepted my brother's scrutiny nervously. As long as he showed the slightest disgust, I would cut off my hair immediately.But no, his eyes drooped, and when he caught mine, the forgiving, noncommittal look paralyzed me. —He doesn't hate long hair.I think.

That's how the mistakes started.I took my brother's tolerance for me as connivance and indulged my hair to grow day by day.But the conclusion is right, my brother really doesn't dislike long hair, he might even like it, because Mei Qingqing has long hair.During that time, white sparrows were flying around, and people speculated that Mei Qingqing and my brother had started a relationship.

I heard that on the day when it rained the most, the fish in the river swam onto the path of people walking. Mei Qingqing’s house was by the river. In order to prevent Mei Qingqing’s beautiful feet and shoes from getting dirty with mud, I Brother picked her up.

It was also heard that someone saw Mei Qingqing imprint a kiss on my brother's cheek, and the red lips just covered the scar.Like a red spot butterfly landed on my brother's face.

I took a closer look at my brother's face, and didn't find the trace left by the red-spotted butterfly as rumored, but something must have happened in the storm, and the relationship between Mei Qingqing and my brother was getting closer.After the calm, I always saw her figure frequently.

At that time, I had a premonition, and I believed without reason that when the person who sat in the back seat of my brother every day became Mei Qingqing, I would completely lose my brother.

Mei Qingqing's greatest charm is hidden under her skirt.Every time she walked down the street in a skirt, the men with white tits would look forward to a gust of wind, and they all wanted to take the opportunity to take a peek at the beautiful ass that was rumored to be magical.But Mei Qingqing would always suppress the floating skirt in time, and only show them her two legs.

Mei Qingqing's legs also aroused people's infinite reverie.Such nimble and weak legs are tightly entangled on a man's strong shoulders with all their strength during sex, like a slender white snake wrapped around an elephant, with no time to spare, so greedy and cute.

But that day I was attracted by her skirt.I recognized it, white, with floral skirts.The first time I saw Mei Qingqing, she was wearing this skirt.

When I was looking at Mei Qingqing, Pan Guizhi was also staring at her in a daze.After a while, Mei Qingqing disappeared from our sight, and I heard Pan Guizhi say to me: "Brother, do you like that dress?"

Hearing the word "skirt" from Pan Guizhi's mouth, I unconsciously think of that discarded white gauze skirt, and I always have a slight nausea when I think of it.I said I don't like it.

Pan Guizhi didn't believe it, he said with certainty: "You like it, you didn't even blink your eyes when you looked at that dress."

"I don't have it." Meaningless denial, Pan Guizhi made it meaningful, he looked at me and smiled slightly: "You will have it soon."

A few days later, Pan Guizhi gave me a second dress of unknown origin, and it was this dress that started the accident.

Mei Qingqing's graceful body can wear any skirt beautifully.But Pan Guizhi said to me: "Brother, you are more suitable for wearing skirts than Mei Qingqing. You dress up as a woman, and you are more feminine than Mei Qingqing."

He told me that there are pure men or women everywhere, male and female, and they are the real ones.

Pan Guizhi gave me the same floral dress as Mei Qingqing, but suddenly changed his mind midway, and asked with a smile: "Brother, can you wear it?"

I didn't speak, and he answered for me: You can't, I taught you last time.

Pan Guizhi grabbed one end of the skirt and said kindly: "A good man will do it to the end, how about brother wearing it for you again?"

I shook my head at him: "I don't want your help."

My refusal made Pan Guizhi feel unhappy, I saw the corner of his mouth twitch, and a contemptuous laugh spread from his nose.

"You are a woman now," Pan Guizhi said that women know how to please men best and are the easiest to make men angry, but he doesn't care about women. He said to me magnanimously, "Meng Li, I don't care about you."

I hid the skirt in my schoolbag and carried it home. The strange thing is, the floral flowers on the skirt and Mei Qingqing's beautiful back kept floating in front of my eyes.I have heard the stories of Dong Shi's imitation and Handan's toddler, but they didn't end well in the end. I knew very well in my heart that I was imitating Mei Qingqing, but to please my brother, I am willing to repeat the same mistakes.

There is only one opportunity, a short 10 minutes.Just as my brother was leaving the room to take a shower, I pushed myself through the ajar door.

My heart is beating anxiously, the utility room is so narrow, I can't hide it when I deliver it to the door.I change into a skirt in this room.

There is a shadow on the ground, quietly reborn - taking off the flesh and blood made of mud, and replacing it with flesh and blood made of water... the real male and female are indistinguishable.I was suddenly lost, what kind of gender shadow is this?

Even my brother couldn't tell the difference. The moment the door opened, I saw my brother in the mirror, and a moment of confusion flashed across his face.

But he must have recognized me, I think when he recognized me, I called "Brother".

The whole room answered me with silence, I heard my own heartbeat, my brother's breathing, and even his confused thoughts.

For a long time, he didn't agree to me, nor did he say a single word, only a complex look that contained surprise but not just surprise danced in his eyes.

At this time, I was a little flustered, and my brother's reaction was completely different from Pan Guizhi's.He's waiting for his emotions to calm down, but it's not going to be normal this time - I can tell my brother has tried and failed so clearly.After the awkward silence, he said: "What are you crazy about?"

"Brother, I..." His first sentence made me realize that this was a failed temptation.I opened my mouth hastily, but I didn't think about what to say. I was so scared and anxious that I hiccupped in fright.

How troublesome adolescent children are, my brother must have discovered by now.However, he is the head of the family. This calm home has tempered him. He reserved a bit of patience and began to deal with my trouble.

I felt my brother's gaze, his gaze stayed on me for a long time, sliding from my hair to the corner of my skirt.I looked down at him. Although I was wearing a skirt, I felt naked in front of my brother.Then he asked me: "Meng Li, are you a boy or a girl?"

Of course Lu Xinyao knew whether I was a man or a woman, this question was for me.

I replied, "I can be a girl."

If the exam papers were written by my brother, I must not get any of them right.My direction was completely against my brother's wishes.

"Really?" Lu Xinyao seemed to find it inconceivable and ridiculous. Obviously, this idea was not something I could have thought up on my own. I heard him ask, "Who told you?"

Pan Guizhi's name makes me feel dangerous.I developed an instinct: not to speak out.I lied and said, "I looked it up on the Internet myself..."

Lu Xinyao just laughed, laughing at the stupidity of my lies.

"I'll only give you one chance, let's talk after you think about it," he said.

As soon as he threatened, I obediently gave in.I didn't dare to hide it from my brother anymore, so I faltered and told him that it was Pan Guizhi who taught me.When the voice fell, I clearly felt my brother's emotions.

I think my brother is angry.He wasn't angry when I told the lie, but this truth made him angry.Lu Xinyao asked me: "Who is he to you? Do whatever he asks you to do?"

"Because then you will like me." I thought you would like me.But I made you angry.

"Pan Guizhi told you this too?" Lu Xinyao twitched the corner of his mouth ironically, and his tone became aggressive, "Do you believe everything he says? Are you a fool? Why are you so easy to deceive?"

I didn't say anything, I didn't know how to answer to make him happy.But Lu Xinyao forced me to speak out. He lifted my chin, looked directly at me, and said to me, "Didn't you say you would change?"

A sentence without beginning and end, without cause and effect.But I understand, Lu Xinyao knows I can understand.

I shuddered unexpectedly: he knew everything, and he did not forget.

"That's a lie, you forced me to say it! Didn't you believe me? I said I would change it, but you still have to move away..." I felt aggrieved, and I couldn't lie to him anyway, " I can't change it, and I can't change it even if I die!"

He obviously knows everything!But they left me there, asking me to face the wall and think about my mistakes.My liking for him was, in his eyes, a mistake that needed to be corrected. ——everything is wrong, grow your hair, wear skirts!Like itself is wrong!

I gritted my teeth to hold back the tears, my expression must be ugly, but Lu Xinyao insisted that I look up to face him, admiring my "brother" mask that came off without saying a word.It's a tricky mess, and my brother is so smart, a smart person would take a trade off.After a while, he said, "Who did you learn to cheat? Pan Guizhi?"

"I learned from you." My eyes were heavily bloodshot, sore and swollen.

Lu Xinyao didn't seem to have expected this answer. He looked at his rebellious younger brother and asked ironically and curiously, "What else have I taught you?"

"You didn't teach me anything! But I can do everything!" I got angry, glared at him, and said something bolder and more rebellious to him, "You know I like you, you should have known ...Sun Yanming is right, the rapist's son is also a rapist, I will rape you!"

I want to make him happy, but how did things get to this point?My brother must have never imagined that he would have such a nasty brother.

When I said this, I mustered up my courage and held back my tears, but what he said next made me cry unbearably.

I heard Lu Xinyao let out a contemptuous laugh: "Meng Li, let me borrow your courage, do you dare?"

I cry not because he wronged me, on the contrary, he is right, I dare not.

He has such beautiful eyes, like peach blossoms flowing like water, but he smiles so cruelly.I was completely irritated by his smile at that moment, and I couldn't help biting the palm of his hand that was close at hand.

This is not the first time I bit my brother, the bones of his fingers were pinched on my teeth, and I even heard a clucking sound when I exerted force.Facts have proved that courage will not grow bigger with age, and it may become smaller and smaller. Only one bite, and I let go.

I cried to him with tears streaming down my face: "You are not my brother!"

Lu Xinyao didn't spare me this time.In the past, Sun Yuemei often accused him of being "partial". At this moment, he finally realized the disadvantages of partiality. It was his partiality and tolerance that caused the current situation: whose younger brother would pretend to be a woman to seduce his elder brother?What an absurd thing this is.

He finally admitted: "Yes! I'm not your brother! Your brother is Pan Guizhi!"

Lu Xinyao pushed me down on the table with the hand that I bitten. Nothing happened at that time, but there must be a mysterious guidance that made the pair of scissors appear in my peripheral vision:

I saw a nail driven into the wall and scissors hanging alone from the nail.

So convenient, so eye-catching, it seems that someone has prepared it early, just to wait for this moment to be taken by someone.

I suddenly had a horrified premonition of the future, the close connection between that pair of scissors and me... But I had no time to react, and I was powerless to change anything, and saw it appear in my brother's hands.

"No! Please don't cut it!" I was startled and frightened, and started to struggle desperately, "You kill me! Don't cut—"

But how could he listen to me?The fateful knife still fell.I once owed my brother a knife, and now he gave it back to me with his own hands.He was merciless, and there was nothing I could do.

At that moment, it became especially slow, and I watched the broken hair slowly spread out in the air, and then fell down uncontrollably.

I heard myself let out a scream.

Maybe it was Lu Xinyao who let go, maybe it was because the dog jumped the wall in a hurry, I broke free from my brother's shackles for the first time, and fled while tears of humiliation poured out.