Retire from the human world

"Issuing a fine, a fine of 30 yuan!"

In a small office with shutters, Zhan Yuan put the phone back heavily, while resting his hands on his forehead, he silently recited the Mantra of Purifying the Heart, refraining from anger and anger. Yes, he believes that after 50 years in this position, there will be no more in the world. No tribulation could irritate him anymore.If the Daoist Buddha becomes a Buddha, this position will be given to the younger brother.

Amitabha, brother is only for your own good, and only after suffering the deepest suffering can we understand the world situation--when you feel that the joys and sorrows are nothing, the seven emotions and seven sufferings are nothing, and you will not be far from becoming a Buddha immediately.

This is the legendary national special department.

There are a total of dozens of people, some of whom are descendants, relatives and friends of cultivators of various sects in the secular world, and some who are good at drawing talismans and understanding faces and geomantic omens.Most of the remaining administrative staff were screened out by various national political examinations, but the place where they work every day is an ordinary office building in the capital that they rent, and the sign on it is XX Network Technology Co., Ltd.

This is by no means a good place for leisure and retirement. They usually answer the phone and get distressed. For example, the archaeological team got sick strangely, strange jars were dug up at the construction site, or serial murders and mutilated corpses. From time to time, they would also receive news from the customs. It indicates that suspicious persons have entered the country, but they cannot be tracked by normal means.

Unlike some countries, the field personnel here are not dangerous. All they need to do is to pick out abnormal news and throw it to the cultivation world for processing.As long as it’s not a severe drought or flood predestined by the law of heaven, the asking price for rain-seeking technique is only two bottles of Moutai, and it’s even easier for evil spirits to haunt and curse items. These things are very easy to sell on Shanhai.com. For the pre-sales service department, the cultivation world will send people to "purchase" immediately.

As long as your personality is calm, your spirit is strong, and you are not frightened by shocking things, in fact, the work of the national special department is also very interesting, and you can make up a lot of things.

That's right, you can only make up your mind, and you can only gossip at work if you want to gossip.According to the confidentiality regulations, you are not allowed to say a word outside the office door, and you are not allowed to talk in your dreams—although no one will believe you if you say it.

"By the way, why is your...minister being called a master?" This is the customs officer who was sent here for an internship, and he is also promising to be promoted, to train him on how to deal with abnormal situations.

"Because he is a master." A girl clattering on the keyboard glanced at the manager's office at the end of the cubicle, and then said seriously, "It looks like he is in his 20s, but this is his tenth life."

"scare?"

Living Buddha? This is it.

"I heard that it's a normal situation in the world of cultivation. If you don't get rid of all the sufferings and tribulations, you can't become a Buddha."

It means that you have suffered disasters and disasters for ten consecutive lives, and you have to investigate these in each life, reawaken and practice until you die, and then reincarnate and suffer once again?Just thinking about it makes my scalp tingle.

"That's too bad."

"It's nothing." The staff all looked at the floor silently. Everyone in the cultivation world seemed to be miserable. Otherwise, they would have lived for tens of hundreds of years. Why didn't any of the officials from the central government or the local government take any interest in this?Even if they work here all day, they don't yearn for the lives of those quasi-fairies.

——It is enough to be unlucky for one lifetime, what is the concept of suffering for ten consecutive lifetimes?It is enough to work hard to make money for a lifetime, and it is enough to worry about the family and children. Because I can’t die, I have to work hard to make money forever, because I can’t die, so the money is not enough!Buying pills, magic weapons and paying fines, how do you live?

"Master, the general manager of Shanhai.com is on the phone."

The assistant is a younger brother, a descendant of Maoshan Celestial Master, he is the busiest one, basically all the calls have to be forwarded through him, because there are so many calls to Zhanyuan that we need to queue...for example.

"Master, Shanhai.com's front desk supervisor Du is on the phone."

So the newcomers who came to practice were dumbfounded to see that Zhan Yuan directly turned himself into two people, each holding a phone, one sitting on a chair with a signature pen in his hand, and the other standing in front of the desk and patting the table with his hand.

"Yes. You read that right, that's what the ticket says, a fine of 30 per person!"

"I don't care if you're doing it for the safety of the cultivation world or the customer traffic at your supermarket shopping festival. It's your business to chase after you. Last time you were chased by Xing Tian, ​​how hard it took to calm the public opinion, huh? Of course, the other side of the ocean We don't care about other things, don't think that if you escaped the fine last time, you will be lucky this time!"

The other Zhanyuan smiled coldly into the microphone: "Du Heng, I think you are the luckiest one. You see, I didn't count your swords according to the number of people, otherwise you would have to give 60!"

Then they went on to bombard Yu Kun: "The appeal is invalid. You said that you opened the enchantment, and the four of you all used concealment spells. What's the use? It's dangerous for ordinary people to see it! Is it true that the floors were smashed? How dare you say that those bad effects were not caused by you?"

The assistant turned his head and continued to press the transfer button: "Master, Captain Zhou of the Provincial Police Department is on the phone."

The third Zhanyuan came out, grabbed the phone line, walked to the window and said very seriously: "I will send someone to deal with it immediately, and those injured who witnessed the white python in the bathing place will be sent to the hospital. Don't worry, wait for them After the examination, I don’t remember anything. The Taoism of Qingcheng Mountain here specializes in erasing memories, and it’s very proficient.”

"..."

The employees of the national special department feel that the legendary Shanhai.com is not like a supermarket at all, but has always been like a terrorist organization.

Shen Dong also feels the same now!

The Mid-Autumn Festival is celebrated on August 400th. For people in the comprehension world, this is a big festival. It has been celebrated like this for several generations (their generation is [-] years), but they will not celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival every year. The moon No matter how round it is, it can't stop them from going to retreat.

But this year is not the case!

When Beiman Mountain’s enchantment collapsed, a group of alchemy retreat enthusiasts were pushed out to prepare for the battle. Shanhaiyigou did not open for a whole month. Ordinary people would go to the supermarket to buy food for a week and at most half a month. But the world is eager to buy something 100 years old and use it slowly.

At twelve o'clock in the middle of the night, when Shen Dong rushed back, he thought the supermarket was stocking up, but it was already crowded with people... He couldn't move the shopping cart, and all around the shelves were crowded talking practitioners and ghosts.

Don't be transferred to the pre-sales service department either, even the fat woman Qi Long was temporarily pulled over to collect money, what, there is not enough space?Don't worry, there are four more cash registers hanging in the air, and you can fly up to the queue if you want to check out.Shen Dong almost fell to his knees—no matter how many people are in a supermarket, they are all so crowded that only the crowds can be seen, there is absolutely no development in the air!

How stressed are cashiers?

"Qi... Sister Qi Long, let's change!" Shen Dong looked at the cash register above his head.

Is he going to find a rope to hang himself on?

Shen Dong suddenly felt that he had completely forgotten what happened in the bathing place just now, no matter how embarrassing it was, it was not as shocking as this kind of scene, no wonder some people work hard after falling in love, and forget the sad things.

Wait, what's wrong with this analogy.

"Qi Long, go to that cash register." Du Heng spoke, and it wasn't partial, it was definitely a legitimate excuse, "Shen Dong is heavier than you."

"..."

Which eye of yours saw him weigh more than that fat woman?

"Ok?"

Du Heng also realized that something was wrong. Didn't Shen Dong remember everything, including his unreliable master, and when he encountered a catastrophe? The sea of ​​people has not been resolved yet, where there is no time to explain too much, I can only succinctly drop a sentence: "When you are still a sword, the weight is 740 nine catties."

Shen Dong almost fainted, and lay down on the cash register, staring at Du Heng in horror.

By the way, what about his meat?

No, is it his bones?This is unscientific and does not conform to the law of energy conservation!

"Hey, do you still accept money here? I'm still rushing back to deliver the courier!"

Brother Ah Piao, this is how supermarkets are during shopping festivals, you have to get used to it.

In fact, these monsters, ghosts, monks and Taoists who want to be gods and can fly into the sky and escape from the earth are similar to ordinary people. They have to worry about exams, watch TV and curse, and they have to queue up to buy things in the supermarket.So what happened just now was just a normal "hands-on" help, Shen Dong bit the bullet and thought, there are too many things he can't say to Du Heng.

For example, Master Du Heng is a fan of elaboration and education, and there is a rumor that there was a kid in Zhongnan Mountain who fell to his death and hugged a stone to find a substitute—so it doesn’t matter if I add one more thing now.

There was no time for him to think about it now, as soon as he stood still, a pile of clothes was thrown on the cash register.

The ghosts in Shanhai.com are all in their original appearance, neither floating nor transparent, but since they are doing express delivery, they must be Lei Cheng’s colleagues. Monopoly has always been popular in the cultivation world. Why does this ghost buy so many clothes?

This way of buying is like bringing all the clothes of the same style and colors.

Probably Shen Dong's eyes are too straightforward, or this courier is still a new ghost who is not out of touch with society, and usually no one can talk to him, so when Shen Dong is picking up clothes one by one to scan the price, he starts to sigh: "All day long It’s not easy to run around. The shoes won’t break if they float, but the clothes don’t work. They are always worn on living people, destroying the clothes’ yin. The clothes will be scrapped after ten days and a half months. In fact, I said naked running is also No one can see it. However, Master Zhanyuan said that some mortals are born with yin and yang eyes, and ghosts are not allowed to be indecent. It is unreasonable to allow ghosts to float around with broken arms and legs, but we are not allowed to wear clothes. What's the point?"

Shen Dong silently swiped his card to pay the bill.

This courier boy spent 7 yuan on clothes, Lei Cheng, don't be complacent, I will laugh at you next time you go back, your monthly salary of [-] yuan is all the clothes subsidy.

"I also know that the price of goods will increase during the shopping festival, but isn't it going to be eleventh? If I don't buy any more, I will have no clothes to wear. This is not bad. If I wait until the Spring Festival travel season."

The courier boy hugged the clothes and expressed his indignation: "A piece of clothes will be broken that day. Is it easy to catch the train of ordinary people? Why can't the country's planned business see any results? The biggest difference between living and dying is not to buy it. Tickets, everything else is just as hard, so many living people, so much yang energy, torture!"

"..."

Shen Dong squinted, are the people in the cultivation world qualified to say this?

Look at the spectacular scene in the queue behind, and leave after paying the bill, you, don't block the traffic!

"In half an hour, there will be Ciyu on the fourth floor of the supermarket! Limited to 100 pieces, first come, first served—" I don't know who shouted behind, but I saw a large team chatting with the shelves, and at least [-] ran away. people.

"Now the special offer is Soapberry, buy a catty and get a catty free! The quantity is not much, while supplies last."

The queue at the cashier was reduced by a few hundred.

Immediately after five hours, the special offers were all finished, and finally there were only a few dozen people left in line in front of the cashier counter. Shen Dong looked up and saw the real Baishu.

In Shanhai.com, there are no privileges regardless of status and status. The elders line up to pay the bill. No matter how many customers there are, I have never seen unreasonable quarrels, let alone jumping in line. good.

The real Baishu bought a mobile phone.

He looked at the touch-screen smart phone over and over again, and after paying the bill, he was still asking:

"how to use?"

I don’t know how to use it and you still buy it!

"There is an instruction manual." Shen Dong couldn't help but said that all magic weapons in the cultivation world don't come with instruction manuals, but mortal electrical appliances are necessary when leaving the factory.

"Uh, Pindao can barely understand simplified characters, but..."

Didn't pass the fourth grade!

Shen Dong glanced at the manual and was suddenly stunned.

Usually he never thinks about using a mobile phone, in fact - SD card, UC browser, USB interface, the manual is full of such terms, how do the public in the cultivation world understand it!