memory castration

I know that I used to love Xu Yifei very much, but I can't remember when this feeling started.

After all, although he looks handsome, his personality is not pleasing, which I think is caused by habit.

But we officially broke up before thinking about the reason, and we never had a chance to think about it.

As I was struggling to climb the attic, I seemed to suddenly remember it.

After being insulted by Xiao Ziqi back then, I moved out of the dormitory and lived with Xu Yifei in Jinyiju. During this period, Xiao Ziqi contacted me once, and he said nervously on the phone that he had prepared a big gift, and hoped that I would like it in the future.

I was annoyed and afraid of him at the time, and that night I had a headache and a high fever for no reason, and the medicine and injections didn't work.

Xu Yifei hugged me tightly on the bed all night, and said a lot of things, but I couldn't hear the content clearly, I just remember his voice was very gentle and touching.

Maybe it's the taste of being too eager to be loved, just like being comforted by Li Xinlong after grandma passed away, the emotion has been quietly entrusted in just a moment.

I don't know why I think of these things, but I subconsciously think they have some kind of connection with the current Xiao Ziqi.

The attic is still quiet, and the books on the table are still just opened, but I seem to smell a different breath from the air.

Uncle Qin was right, Xiao Ziqi was indeed here, but he was playing hide and seek with me.Do you think I can't find you if you hide?I took a deep breath and started checking the bookshelves, trying to move them.

Finally, I found an abrupt red button under the base of the globe. If I guessed correctly, this should be the Pandora's box in the attic. No one knows what will greet me after I open it.

I stretched out my finger and hesitated for two seconds, then I pressed it without hesitation.

Xiao Ziqi, I want to see what kind of tricks you have spent so much effort on!

The expected thing happened, the floor next to the desk creaked away, revealing a square staircase, and the attic was still hidden in the basement.

This time I climbed down the stairs without any hesitation. When I landed, the surroundings were pitch black, with only a slap-sized piece of natural light above my head.

I said loudly, "Xiao Ziqi, what are you doing?"

No one answered my words, but I noticed that Xiao Ziqi must be sitting in the dark watching me, perhaps with the usual perverted smile on his face.

After half a minute of silence, I lost my temper, "This is the last time I come to Egggarsen, if you don't come out again, I will leave."

A familiar voice in the darkness said faintly: "Xiaobai's patience is still so bad."

It's Xiao Ziqi, that's right, it's not a recorded message or a machine voice, he's fine...

I can't tell whether I'm happy or furious, I bit my lower lip, my mouth was filled with salty blood, "Xiao Ziqi, this is the last time I've been fooled, from now on it's none of my business whether you live or die."

"Why is it none of your business?" His voice was so calm that it was outrageous, "You are willing to come to Egggarsen, which means that you can't let me go after all. Xiaobai, you like me, right?"

"It's a good dream, keep going."

"Don't be duplicity, you're starting to feel guilty now, aren't you?"

"Fuck your duplicity!" I slammed my fist on the ladder, "Stop pretending to be sentimental and put gold on your face!"

How could his insidious and cunning fox die?Maybe he was still snickering behind my back when I was anxious, fuck!I really want to slap myself twice, Fang Yibai, Fang Yibai, why do you fall into this man's scheme again and again and still not learn to behave?

When I climbed up the bamboo ladder and was about to leave, Xiao Ziqi said again: "Xiao Bai, don't you want to meet me when you're here?"

I gritted my teeth and said angrily, "What are you doing? Just hearing the sound makes me sick to my stomach!"

He was silent for a while, and quickly laughed, "I promise it's not that bad. The light switch is [-] centimeters away from nine o'clock on your left. If you don't believe me, you can turn it on and have a look."

"I'm not interested in watching you pervert!"

"Don't you dare?"

"What am I afraid of?"

"Aren't Xu Yifei and Yang Wenxiong both investigating me? Aren't you surprised to see the death report? Are you not afraid to turn on the light and find that you're the only one in the basement?" His voice faded, as if he was dreaming tone of terror.

I stroked my arm very hopelessly, and found dense goosebumps hidden under the bristling fine hair.

Without turning on the light, the secret of this death report may never be solved.

But if you turn on the light... what should you do if it really does what Xiao Ziqi said?I... fuck him!

Not only did the calf hurt, but it also started to feel weak, and at this moment, Xiao Ziqi's laughter came again.

He smiled lightly, not arrogantly or intentionally, but it was very harsh to my ears. He fumbled for the hanging hemp rope in a fit of anger, and pulled it down sideways.

The orange light turned on instantly, there were no ghosts, no ghosts, and a vivid Xiao Ziqi with a shadow appeared in front of me.

He was dressed very casually, laying on the rocking chair with his arms pillowed on his head, looking at me with his eyes bent and smiling, "Xiaobai, you look so cute now."

After holding back for a long time, I squeezed out two words from between my teeth, "I...day!"

This guy is really lower than Xu Yifei, so cheap that he is a big bitch who will never change his ambition!

I have known these two rare flowers in heaven and earth for eight lifetimes!

Still laughing, still fucking laughing... I wanted to rush up and slap him a few times, but I was controlled by the few remaining rationality, and in the end I just sneered: "Xiao Ziqi, you don't have heart disease at all, right?"

"No, I have."

"Uncle Qin said you had a heart transplant operation, why didn't you leave any scars on your body? And in Ninghai a few months ago, if you really had a heart attack, how could you slip away from under the noses of Yang Wenxiong and the doctor? ? Xiao Ziqi, you big liar, how many times have you told the truth in your life? It’s also a ridiculous lie to say that we are brothers and like me?”

Xiao Ziqi's smile gradually faded, he put his hand to touch his heart, and sighed: "Xiaobai, you know I won't joke about feelings, so why say these words to hurt me?"

It's ridiculous, if I can really hurt him so easily, how can I allow myself to be played with in the palm of my hand again and again?

I didn't bother to pay attention to his hypocrisy, I wiped my tired face with my hands, and relaxed my attitude, "Xiao Ziqi, I'm tired. If you pay so much attention to my whereabouts, you must know that my condition is getting worse. God, I will fall into a coma and can't wake up, and you will disappear forever in my memory. We are destined not to be brothers and lovers in this life, but we have finally dealt with each other for so many years. In the past, you cheated me and humiliated me as if you died yesterday. At this point, I don't need to worry about anything anymore, I just hope that if you think you have even a sliver of true feelings for me, you will let me spend the rest of the day in peace and quiet, and don't bother me again, okay?

He stood up and walked to me, "You decide to stay by Xu Yifei's side from now on?"

I nodded, "Yes."

"He treats you like that, do you still love him? Or do you actually hate him, and want him to watch you lose your memory a little bit, and experience the pleasure of revenge from his pain?"

Although I don't want to see Xiao Ziqi, I have to admit that he really knows me very well, far more than Xu Yifei.

Seeing that I didn't speak, Xiao Ziqi lightly touched the tip of my nose with his finger, "If Xiao Ziqi knew that we ended up like this, I don't know how sad it would be."

I froze and looked at him blankly, "What did you say?"

Xiao Ziqi slightly raised the corner of his mouth, "Didn't you read the death report with the official seal? It's true, your brother died four years ago in a heart transplant operation."

I shook my head, angry and funny, "If Xiao Ziqi is dead, then who are you?"

He raised his eyebrows, his pupils seemed to be wrapped with several finely cut diamonds under the light, and looked at me with a half-smile, "I'm also Xiao Ziqi."

Two... Xiao Ziqi?Schizophrenia or is he insane?

"I'm normal and sober, and I know what I'm talking about." Xiao Ziqi saw my doubts and explained further: "This matter needs to start ten years ago... At that time, you hadn't graduated from college. , went to Xiao Ziqi's house to do part-time work during the winter vacation, and was raped by him during the winter vacation, do you think it was just his whim?"

"Isn't it?" After all, before that, Xiao Ziqi had always been polite to me and never behaved aggressively.

At that time, I proposed to leave, but he asked to fulfill the bet of seeing my naked body... I didn't hesitate to guard against it, so the following things happened.

Xiao Ziqi took my shoulders and smiled, "Of course not, he planned it for a long time, because he had already been diagnosed with a heart attack at that time, and he also decided to go back to Egggarson for surgery, because the chance of success is low. Gao, in addition, before death, people will be greedy and fanatical about things they have not obtained, so they have evil thoughts towards you. After arriving in Egggarson, he did not immediately perform surgery, but called me..."

At this time, his logic is clear and his speech is clear. It is true that he does not appear to be insane, but it is precisely because of this that I feel more and more creepy.

He was clearly Xiao Ziqi, but he kept saying that he was another person. Could it be that he was bewitched?

Seeing that I didn't speak, he blinked his eyes, "Xiao Bai, to be honest... Xiao Ziqi and I should be only [-]% like each other, but you and Xu Yifei didn't doubt it, you are really two careless guys. "

octagon?He is indeed a little different from before, but people are constantly changing, who can maintain the same appearance for ten years?

What's more, his behavior, way of thinking, and daily habits are the same as in the past, and the degree of perversion is even worse. One Xiao Ziqi is enough to make people wonder, how could there be a second one? !

He seemed to be able to read minds, and then I answered the question in my heart: "Your brother is a terrible pervert and a top genius in psychology. I owe it to him to become what I am today, just because I am worried that his operation will fail brother. No one to take care of him... He turned me into a perfect copy of Xiao Ziqi, who was faithful to you both psychologically and physically. Just like now, seeing you makes me happy involuntarily. My body is a little closer to you, my heart beats It will speed up sharply, and the pores of the whole body will open uncontrollably, eager to have a closer contact with you... And your past is as clear and distinct as I have experienced it personally. The pain of sending you away, the joy of secretly painting your body portrait when you were a teenager, and the guilt and sweetness of raping you..."

I clenched my fist tightly and pushed him away, "Shut up, you crazy! I don't know what you're talking about! If you are really a copy created by Xiao Ziqi, then tell me what your original name was? Where do you live? What relatives and friends do you have? Why are you willing to be someone else's shadow?"

Xiao Ziqi lowered his eyes, "I don't know, I only know that I am called Xiao Ziqi, I have Xiao Ziqi's feelings and past memories, and I don't know anything about the rest."

"This is so funny! If you don't know anything about it, how do you know that you are not the real Xiao Ziqi, but a reformed one?"

"That's my own guesswork."

"Fuck your nonsense guesses! There should be evidence for everything, do you have it? Hysterical patients, I kindly advise you to see a psychiatrist again! I don't have time to waste time with you here, I'm going back, Xu Yifei Waiting for me outside."

"Wait!" Xiao Ziqi took my hand and said slowly, "It's not a random guess without evidence, I have evidence."