deceased into ashes

It was already the third day, and the air in December was icy cold. When Yu Qingyue turned on her phone, there were no other calls except for a few calls from her assistant.

Yu Qingyue threw her phone on the bed again, flipping through the little red book she found two days ago that Zhou Qianyi secretly gave her.

In my memory, Zhou Qianyi has long hair and always smiles gently. When she was a student, she liked flowers, but she didn’t want to pick them, so she always used a pen to draw flowers on paper. She could draw any flower. From sunflowers to campanulas, from white roses to violets, the mandala was the most painted later, each flower is as bright as the horn of a unicorn.

I called her yesterday, but an unfamiliar voice answered the phone. The other party didn't say much, but said that Qianyi is fine now, and she doesn't need to care.

Thinking of this, Yu Qingyue felt a fire in her heart, but soon the fire was extinguished by the nameless guilt.

This time, it went too far.

Shouldn't have done it...

That day, Yu Qingyue was packing her luggage at home, and she opened the door when the doorbell rang. It was her old lover, holding a bouquet of roses, and said with a smile that she wanted to get back together with her.

Yu Qingyue wanted to knock that person out of the door on the spot, but her strength was no match for that person, the rose petals fell to the ground, and the bouquet was thrown aside.

The man pushed her to the bedroom, she accidentally bumped into the corner of the table, looked around, and saw boxes of pills...

How come there are so many pills...?

Qianyi's...

...is she sick...?

Why don't I know...

Dazed for a moment, the man took the initiative, staggered, and she was pushed onto the bed.

She doesn't have the patience to play hard to get with him now, she just wants to know what happened to the medicine.

She punched that person, but the person quickly dodged and missed. She was countered, and her clothes were disheveled very quickly.

During the struggle, she was also beaten, and was very unhappy.

She was really annoyed, and she bit the man's neck, bleeding out from the bite. The man was in pain, and just as he let go, she wanted to come up again. At this moment, the bedroom door was opened.

Zhou Qianyi stood at the door.

That was the first time Yu Qingyue saw despair in Zhou Qianyi's eyes, it was despair towards her.

The despair of a dying relationship.

She got up to explain, and found that the clothes were a bit torn, annoyed, she hurriedly grabbed the clothes, but her old lover was standing by the bed, watching the farce started by him with great interest.

Yu Qingyue didn't remember what happened afterwards, she only remembered that she seemed to hit Zhou Qianyi, and Zhou Qianyi left, holding something, tears falling on the floor, the bandage on her head hadn't been changed, and there were reddish marks on her face .

But she just left.

Yu Qingyue slumped on the ground, and the old lover behind asked her: "Are you still doing it? We can get back together. I miss you a lot."

These sentences are like a knife, nakedly uncovering her past three years, deeply piercing her heart.All of them hinted at how chilling things she had done to Zhou Qianyi.

She grabbed his collar and punched him, his nose was bruised and his face was swollen. The other party didn't react but it was not easy to attack, at least he tasted the sweetness and left in a bit of embarrassment.

Yu Qingyue looked at her hands...she slapped her face twice, and saw the box of pills at the corner again, she was very surprised, walked over to look...

—Treatment related to gastric cancer...

Stomach cancer...

Yu Qingyue looked for the same pills in other corners of the house, but found several boxes of different pills in the corner.

—Sodium valproate tablets for simple or complex absence seizures...

Many drugs are for severe depression and stomach cancer.

Yu Qingyue was stunned, she was a little flustered...stomach cancer? ...major depression? ...How can it be......

Obviously, she hasn't changed much except for being lighter...

Lighter...it seems...she has lost a lot of weight during this time...

Yu Qingyue turned on her phone again and began to search for symptoms and treatments of depression and stomach cancer.

She only knew that Zhou Qianyi had congenital heart disease before, so she was not in good health since she was a child and was prone to illness.

How could it be... cancer...how could it happen to Qianyi...

She should die if she wants to die, how can she let such a nice and gentle Zhou Qianyi go...

It rained heavily that day, Zhou Qianyi did not go home as usual.Yu Qingyue received several phone calls and went out to look for her, but she couldn't find anyone.

When I got home, it was still empty.

For the first time, she felt that this "home" would be cold without Zhou Qianyi.

That night, Yu Qingyue was alone in bed, and for some reason, she cried silently for a long time.Like a child who has lost its mother and cubs are crying while holding her.

Just like Zhou Qianyi did before.

It's been the third day, and Zhou Qianyi hasn't come back, nor has there been any news.

Yu Qingyue finally felt what Zhou Qianyi felt before.

There was a time when I didn't like going home, and I found it exciting and interesting to play tricks outside, but I was always extremely uncomfortable in front of the clean person at home, with that gentle face.

At that time, I went out for ten days and a half months, made a sensational phone call at night, and then started flirting with those beautiful or charming people.

But for so many years, the cleanest and gentlest person she has met is always only Zhou Qianyi who stays by her side without saying a word.

Does she also look at the dark sky every night, guarding an empty house, and sit on the sofa with bloodshot eyes until dawn.

Did she nest in the corner of the bed after she knew something about her, the pillow was wet with tears, and she was trembling on the phone, wanting an answer.

Did he also gradually lose patience and lose the reason to love her while waiting day by day and year after year?

Now, she also lost the right to love Zhou Qianyi.

Zhou Qianyi could find a rich person to treat her illness. She is young, beautiful, gentle and capable, what kind of person can't find her?

But she didn't, she was just waiting, waiting for a child who played wild.Wait for her to go home, hold her in my arms and continue to tell sweet lies, and then digest all the lies to kill the loneliness of time with tears.

No matter how patient people are, they should have worn out their patience long ago.

Seems like it's been three years.

What have you been doing for three years?

Spending time and drinking outside, telling mature jokes in the arms of the handsome little brother, negotiating freely among women with different styles, freely choosing the love of the other party, and then accepting or crushing it mercilessly.

Is that the case?

That's it.

Realize now, it's too late.

Zhou Qianyi said before that she would rather walk through thorns than go back and pick up the lost gold.

What's more, she is not gold.

Even though Zhou Qianyi is suffering from illness, she still has many things to support herself, and she can still live strong by herself.

Yu Qingyue no longer had the face to look for her.Go beg her to give yourself another chance, start over.

But she is afraid that maybe after a while, she won't be able to see the person who loved her deeply...

Thinking of this, her tears flowed down again. Yu Qingyue, who was once so arrogant, is now crying like a bereaved dog.

Once, this lost dog was crazy and wandering outside.

It thinks that it will have a home all its life, and there will always be a bright light and a little warmth waiting for it.

But when it was homesick, it realized that it no longer had a home, and that home collapsed under the ravages of wind and rain.

The lost dog can't turn back.

Years, there is no turning back.