deceased into ashes

On the morning of June [-]th, the sky was dark and cloudy, and it looked like there was going to be a rainstorm.

Zhou Qianyi went out a lot in recent days, most of them went to the sea, just sat on the beach and wrote, and could stay for several hours.

Recently, Yan Min noticed that her complexion had improved a lot, and her face was finally rosy, but Nuomi didn't go out recently, and stayed at home with Zhou Qianyi.

"Nuomi has behaved a lot since you came back." Yan Min was about to go to the store, watching Zhou Qianyi reading on the sofa and not wanting to disturb her.

But Zhou Qianyi stood up, put down the book, walked towards Yan Min, and when he got closer, he helped her cut her hair carefully, and then smiled like this.

"What's wrong today? I'm so happy." Yan Min saw that Zhou Qianyi finally had some complexion these days, and his mood improved a lot.

"Sister Yan, I'm going out today, can you come pick me up?" Zhou Qianyi tilted her head, looking naughty for a long time.

Yan Min was taken aback, put on his bag, turned his head and smiled, and said, "Okay, don't play for too long, there will be another round of chemotherapy in mid-June, and your health may be better by then."

Zhou Qianyi didn't speak, just looked at Nuomi, went to the room to get an umbrella for Yan Min, and said in a warm voice, "Be careful on the road."

Yan Min took the umbrella, and a warm current flowed through her heart. When she left, she touched Zhou Qianyi's head and said, "You should also remember to bring your umbrella when you go out, and take your mobile phone and wallet with you. Don't lose them. Remember to send them to you at noon. Give me your address and I'll pick you up."

Zhou Qianyi nodded obediently.

"Let's go." Yan Min put on his rain boots, looked at the sky with thick clouds outside, and said to himself, "It's going to rain heavily..."

While she was waiting for the elevator, Zhou Qianyi poked her head out at the door, like a child waiting for her parents to pick her up from the kindergarten, and said loudly, "Remember to pick me up!"

"Got it." Yan Min entered the elevator.

"Remember to pick me up..." Zhou Qianyi lowered her head and muttered vaguely.

Nuomi followed her all the time, as if worried about something.

"Meow—" Nuomi wanted to stand up for her to hug.

Zhou Qianyi took advantage of the situation and picked up Nuomi, Nuomi rubbed against her arms, as if she was very reluctant.

"Nuomi, be good in the future, I'm going to a far away place, and I may never come back." Zhou Qianyi gently rubbed Nuomi's back.

"Meow--"

"Remember our secret." Zhou Qianyi put the glutinous rice on the soft sofa cushion, as if worried, said again:

"please."

Then she picked up her phone and went out.

Nuomi walked to the door and looked at her.

Zhou Qianyi also looked at Nuomi, smiled and said, "I will miss you."

"Meow—" Nuomi wanted to catch up.

Zhou Qianyi closed the door very lightly and gently without much noise.

Nuomi kept looking at the closed door from inside, it seemed that once the door was closed, she was completely separated from Zhou Qianyi.

Zhou Qianyi took a taxi to the suburbs, and stopped beside a ruined high-rise building that had not been demolished.

This ruined area is under the management of Yu Qingyue, and demolition began in the middle of this year.

The reason for getting such a large area list is the help of her old lover.

She walked in, but there was no one inside. This is a remote area, and the elevator inside has not been used for several years, and there is no power and water supply, so Zhou Qianyi walked up step by step by herself.

The ruins of the tall building were not very strong, but the stairs could still bear the weight of a patient. Zhou Qianyi walked upstairs slowly, silently avoiding the small steel bars protruding from the ground, and looked at the ground that was getting farther and farther outside the window.

There are more and more dark clouds, and the sky seems to be covered by haze. The sky that was clear a few days ago is now lifeless.

Zhou Qianyi walked slowly, thinking about the past.

When she was nine years old, her mother was waiting for her on the roof of the hospital. That year, it was also covered with such dark clouds.

The wind on the roof of the hospital was so strong that day that it made people feel cold. On June [-]th of that year, my mother had a long conversation with her on the roof.

Mother was in the middle of the roof, holding her little hand and saying:

"My little girl, my child.

Mom often thinks, what will your future be like?

...would it be pretty...

Hmm... will be rich...

Will you be...happy?

...Will there be someone who is willing to really love you?

Can anyone love you more than me..."

She just looked at her mother and said nothing.

The mother just took her hand and told her in a gentle voice:

"Promise mom to live a good life in the future, okay?" This is what her mother said to her the most.

Zhou Qianyi lowered his head and walked up the dusty stairs step by step.

"You must find someone who loves you, or you would rather live alone for the rest of your life."

Zhou Qianyi continued to walk step by step, her mind was full of what her mother said.

"Mom is really tired, I'm sorry..."

Zhou Qianyi was about to reach the top floor, she didn't think about it anymore, her tears slid down the floor, there was no sound in this empty building.

"My Qianyi will be fine in the future."

Zhou Qianyi closed her eyes and recalled these words, and slowly walked towards the center of the open-air roof.

The roof is very dirty, and there are some abandoned steel bars and some rotten table wrecks beside it. This is the case in a place that has not been managed for many years. There are some moss and weeds beside the wall.

But to her, it was all gray and white.

Zhou Qianyi stood in the middle of the top floor, picked up his cell phone, and dialed Yu Qingyue's number.

The dark clouds in the sky moved slowly, and there was no sign of rain.

It's just that the thunder roared in bursts, as if it was enduring something.

The call is connected.

"Qianyi, I'm at the company, what's the matter?" Yu Qingyue seemed to be busy now, surrounded by the noise of employees and the tapping of computer keyboards.

"Can you come here for a while?" Zhou Qianyi looked at the sky, the wind before the rainy day in June was blowing her pure white dress slowly up.

"Where are you?" Yu Qingyue put down the work in hand, and after explaining some things to the working team leader, said: "What's wrong?"

"I want to see you for the last time." Zhou Qianyi sent her the location.

Yu Qingyue didn't hang up the phone, but looked at the location suspiciously.

It's the abandoned high-rise in the suburbs.

Yu Qingyue suddenly raised her heart in her throat.

Why did Qianyi go there? !

Yu Qingyue didn't have time to elaborate with her colleagues, she just said that the work was well organized, and hurried downstairs.

She ran to drive out without hanging up the phone.

"Qianyi, can you hear me?" Yu Qingyue drove out quickly, the suburb was at least 15 minutes away from here no matter how fast the car was.

"I can hear you." Zhou Qianyi closed her eyes and said, "Even if I can't see anything, I can still hear your voice."

"Qianyi, wait for me..." Yu Qingyue looked at the road ahead and accelerated carefully.

"Yu Qingyue," Zhou Qianyi breathed a sigh of relief, and said, "I have a lot of things I want to say to you."

"I don't even know where to start.

I have done so much for you all these years.It's been all these years and I always thought you'd figure it out.

I thought that I could also be regarded as a treasure by people all the time. "

Zhou Qianyi took a deep breath, her heart began to feel like it was blocked by something, her breathing hurt and her body was shaking.

"Qianyi...I'm sorry, I'm not good, but don't be impulsive, you wait downstairs for me to pass." Yu Qingyue looked at the road ahead, thin beads of sweat on her forehead.

"But I feel very tired. For 13 years, I loved you very tiredly, exhausted physically and mentally, but what did I get after all my hard work?"

"I got your betrayal, your disdain, your abuse, your indifference.

so......

I hate you. "

Yu Qingyue slammed on the brakes suddenly, and there was a red light ahead. She heard Zhou Qianyi's words, and her breathing seemed to stop for half a beat.

Her heart suddenly felt inexplicably painful, like a sharp knife stabbing into it.

"But I'm a fool, I'm hopelessly stupid, I can't let you go, after I know everything, I'll meet you, I'll hold hands with you, I'll kiss you, I'll sleep with you, I Nothing has changed, I am the stupidest idiot in the world..." Zhou Qianyi looked at the old red marks on his pale left arm.

There was a low roar of thunder in the sky.

"Qianyi, it's all my fault, don't hurt yourself... don't get angry!"

Zhou Qianyi sneered over there, and said mockingly: "Have I hurt myself less these years?"

"You know that in those years I waited from night to dawn, I was waiting for you to come back on the sofa, just waiting for you to come back...

It was so cold that night...

...I finally waited until you came back.But when you came back, you always didn't say a word, didn't pay attention to anything, just fell asleep, and you didn't pay attention to what I said.

You later declared to everyone that I was your relative, and then you went to meet those men and women unscrupulously. Do you really think I don't know anything?

That is to say, I don’t dislike your dirtyness, and I have been with you persistently. But you, you do it again and again. You don’t feel sorry for me when I get hurt.

Isn't it ridiculous? !"

"Qianyi...it's my fault, you can say whatever you want...don't do stupid things." Yu Qingyue listened to Zhou Qianyi's stinging words, her heart seemed to be pricked by thousands of fine needles, It's like being devoured by thousands of ants.

"It's me who committed the crime. People like me are born to be trampled. I love you deeply. I'm so infatuated and hardworking. I've always wondered why you betrayed me? I was thinking about me. What did I do wrong?

You slept with so many people, and then turned around and hugged me, hoping that I would change my mind, that I would forgive you for forgetting the past?You are...really..."

"It's really disgusting." Zhou Qianyi said this with almost all his strength.This wailing hidden deep in her heart.

"I'm sick, I've committed a heinous crime, Qianyi, don't be impulsive, come down from there first, you can beat me and scold me, okay?" Yu Qingyue didn't dare to hang up the phone, her hands were sweaty, she was really afraid of Zhou Qianyi In a fit of excitement, he actually committed suicide.

We'll be in the ruins in a few minutes.

"I'll be waiting for you on the roof of Building A6." Zhou Qianyi hung up the phone weakly.

Six minutes later, Yu Qingyue came downstairs. She was running up in high heels. There were many floors, and the steel bars had been exposed in some places. Yu Qingyue just wanted to climb up the stairs quickly, without caring about her clothes There is a lot of dust on it.

"Qianyi!" Yu Qingyue shouted upwards, hoping to get a response, she shouted while running upwards.

Suddenly, she didn't see where she was going, a step missed, a high-heeled shoe was sprained, and her ankle was pierced by a short, sharp steel bar, and dark red blood flowed out.

Her ankle was sprained, and her left ankle was stabbed. There was a blood hole.

But she still didn't hear any response from Zhou Qianyi.

She could only hold back the pain and continue to run up.

Every step was a torment, the steel bar pierced into her ankle violently, poking out a small blood hole, the blood kept flowing without congealing, and the blood fell drop by drop on the floor like a bloody flower.

Not long after running, Yu Qingyue reached the top floor and saw Zhou Qianyi standing on the edge of the top floor.

"Qianyi!"

Zhou Qianyi was wearing a pure white long dress, her back was very gentle, her mid-length black hair was blown up and down by the wind, she turned her head to look at the embarrassed Yu Qingyue.

Because of the ashes, Yu Qingyue's originally clean black dress was covered with gray patches, her hair was also messed up, and her makeup was stained by sweat, which didn't look like the usual atmosphere.The ankle of her left leg was still bleeding, and she was a little unsteady.She also threw the shoes on her feet on the corridor.Now she really looks like a down-and-out noble lady.

"Qianyi...It's dangerous over there, come down." Yu Qingyue held back the pain and limped over, blood fell drop by drop on the ground.

"Don't come over." Zhou Qianyi turned around, closed her eyes and said, "Come here and I'll jump right now!"

"Don't!...I won't come here...Come down by yourself, Qianyi, don't get angry, come down by yourself..." Yu Qingyue was about to collapse from fright, jumping off such a high building would definitely kill her.

Standing at such a high place, her legs were a little weak.

"Then you stand where you are." Zhou Qianyi opened his eyes, looked at the gray everything in front of him, and said, "Just stand and listen to me."

"Okay..." Yu Qingyue stood still reluctantly, blood was still gushing out from the blood hole on her feet.

"Yu Qingyue.

I don't know how to express my complicated feelings for you.I love you so much and hate you so much.I can't let it go, and I don't want to let it go now.

You know that for the past three years, I have felt every day that I myself am a sinner, a prisoner, locked in a place you designated, and that life is wrong and death is impossible.You may accompany different people every day, you may be more beautiful than me, you may be richer than me, you may be gentler than me, but none of them love you more than me.

You are going to regret that you lost someone in the world who loved you almost more than yourself. "

Yu Qingyue lowered her head and had nothing to say.

"I often dream about our past these days." Zhou Qianyi's tone was much softer, with a slight smile on his face.

"Do you remember? The gardenias on the campus, the roses blooming at the corner of the small bridge in the south of the city, and the mandala I often drew.

I miss the past so much. It is not easy for me to stick to the time with us based on what you said before.

I know I'm going to die, but I want you to remember me and think of me forever.

I want you to be healthy and healthy for the rest of my life, and live to be 77 years old. I want you to do all the things I haven't done.

I will deposit all the things I want to give you with Yan Min.

Yan Min is a good girl, she is my only confidant, if you dare to force her to give it to you, I will never let you go. "

Just like this, Yu Qingyue listened to Zhou Qianyi's tone gradually change from gentle to indifferent.

She didn't dare to look at her, because she really felt that she was ashamed in those years.

The thunder in the sky muffled.

Zhou Qianyi's unkind eyes suddenly softened, she looked at the sky, then at Yu Qingyue, and said in the most sincere voice in her life:

"Qingyue."

"You look up at me."

Yu Qingyue raised her head and looked at Zhou Qianyi. She was a little ashamed, so she silently looked away.

"I gotta go.

I have lived these years... very painful, every day, almost every day, I am taking medicine, I have no expectations for life, no desire, more often it is boundless despair. "Zhou Qianyi clenched the long skirt tightly, seeing that Yu Qingyue wasn't looking at her, she just smiled wryly.

"I really love you, I don't know how many words I have to say, how many sentences I have to write to tell you, to make you feel how much I love you.

Maybe I'm guilty. Cheap, but I will always stick to my own choice, and I never gave up loving you in my life. "

Yu Qingyue turned her head slightly to look at her in shock, her teardrops fell on the concrete floor, mixed with blood.

"Qianyi, I was wrong... You can beat, scold or kill as you please, let's go home..." Yu Qingyue's tears rolled down one by one, blurred line of sight.

"But I'm sorry, I can't be with you all the time, I want to find my relatives, and I also want to act like a baby in the arms of the person who loves me.

I don't want to take bitter medicine anymore, looking at a gloomy world and living with a smile.

I can not do it.

I also don't want to die in a cold hospital bed.Maybe that would be too peaceful.

My whole life has been flat, and I have nothing to miss.

Sorry. "

Yu Qingyue tried to walk over there slowly and pull Zhou Qianyi down, but she didn't realize that the calm Zhou Qianyi suddenly turned around, ran to the edge of the low wall and jumped down.

This may be the bravest time in her life.

Immediately afterwards, there was a sound downstairs, and the torrential rain in the sky suddenly fell, and the lightning flashed and thundered.

Yu Qingyue stared blankly at the place where Zhou Qianyi had just stood in the blurred rain and tears.

It seems that the girl in the sheer white dress is there.

But no.

Yu Qingyue's body began to tremble, and she suddenly ran downstairs frantically, regardless of her wet hair and left leg that hadn't stopped bleeding.

She was barefoot, and tears kept falling from her eyes.

No! No! Qianyi will not die!!!

She didn't care which steel bar was punctured again on her leg, she just ran downstairs desperately.

She didn't stop until she reached the first floor. She saw a person in a pure white dress lying on the ground on the avenue amidst the ruins of the torrential rain.

Zhou Qianyi was lying on the ground as if she had fallen asleep. Her long skirt was stained red with blood, and the rainwater on the ground was also a large patch of bright red.

Her eyes were closed, there was blood spilling from her lips, and she had lost her breath.

Yu Qingyue walked over slowly, watching Zhou Qianyi's pale face soaked by the heavy rain.Yu Qingyue's feet were covered with dust and blood, she didn't seem to feel any pain, she just hugged Zhou Qianyi who was lying on the ground into her arms, regardless of whether the blood gushing out from Zhou Qianyi's body would stain her clothes or not.

She hugged her like this, in the heavy rain, tears mixed with rainwater and blood fell on the ground, it seemed that nothing was alive, everything was silent, and there were only her and Zhou Qianyi in the whole world.

Soon, there was a figure running from a distance, holding an umbrella. Seeing this scene, he froze in place.

It was Yan Min holding an umbrella, and she stopped and watched from a distance.

The dead Zhou Qianyi was held in Yu Qingyue's arms in the rain. Yu Qingyue seemed to want to prevent the person in her arms from getting too much rain.

Yan Min's lips were pale. She held an umbrella and stood motionless in the distance.

She tightly held the umbrella Zhou Qianyi handed her when she went out.

She still remembered that Zhou Qianyi said that he must remember to pick her up.

She is coming.

But Zhou Qianyi left.

The sound of a police car sounded in the distance.

Yu Qingyue closed her eyes and hugged the person in her arms recklessly.

the last time.

They will never have another chance to hug.