Pavlov and the White Moonlight

At that moment, all the blood rushed to my head, I didn’t even have time to make a sound, I ran upstairs, smashed and kicked the door desperately, the noise was so loud that the neighbor opposite the door opened the door secretly A crack, shouted at me from the crack of the door: "Stop kicking, if you kick again, I will call the police!"

"You fucking report! Hurry up! Open the door!"

I didn't know what I was doing, I was panting uncontrollably, the thunderous tinnitus and the loud buzzing in my head drowned out the sound of kicking the door.I don't know how long it took to smash it, maybe it was a few times, maybe it was a long time, the door bounced a little bit, I grabbed the outside handle of the door and pulled the door open, Tang Shuhe's father stood at the door, livid He opened his face, and when he saw that it was me, he immediately wanted to close the door. I reached out to block it, and a woman's voice sounded: "What are you doing! Believe it or not, I'll call the police!"

"Where's Tang Shuhe?"

The woman froze for a moment, and then I realized that my words were yelled out, and the woman screamed: "I knew that Xiaohe was not that kind of child! I knew it! It's just that he has been with people like you for a long time." That's why it became like that! He couldn't talk like that before! I really shouldn't, I really shouldn't..."

I felt my throat spasm uncontrollably, making that ho-ho hissing sound. I tried to lower my voice and said, "Where is Tang Shuhe, I can't hear his... voice."

His mother was stunned, screamed, and ran over to twist the key hanging on the doorknob of Tang Shuhe's bedroom. At that moment, I really couldn't describe my emotions—they locked Tang Shuhe in the room.

After his mother unscrewed the door, she yelled sharply: "Xiaohe!"

My scalp went numb all of a sudden.The door of the bedroom was left open. Tang Shuhe was lying on the ground with his head tilted to one side. He had passed out and there was blood on his forehead.

His mother shouted, "Hurry up and send him to the hospital!"

His father took a few steps to block the bedroom door, and said to me: "You can go..."

I punched him.I can't remember how I punched him now, I only remember his dad's shocked eyes.I knelt down and picked Tang Shuhe up. He was so soft when he was unconscious. Every time I hugged him before, it was gentle.When I carried him outside, his father shouted, "What are you doing?"

I said, "Go to the hospital."

"He's all right," he said. "I know what to do. Just lie down."

I didn't look back: "Go to hell."

"Unrefined," he said.

"I'll go with you," his mother said behind me, "I'll go with you..."

"Don't go," his dad seemed to yank his mother, I heard the sound of slippers sliding, and then his dad said, "You go, he will be proud of being pampered when he wakes up. Let him come back by himself."

His mother hesitated for a moment, and stuffed Tang Shuhe's ID card and medical insurance card into my pocket.

Hold.I rushed down the stairs with Tang Shuhe in my arms, ran out of the unit door, sat by the road, put Tang Shuhe on my knee, and waved for a taxi.It was already spring at that time, and the night wind was not cold at all, but I sat there, shaking uncontrollably all over.Several taxis passed by and refused to pick them up. Finally, the driver rolled down the window and glanced at both of us: "Did you drink too much? Don't spit on my car, add two to the car." Hundreds of car wash money."

I said yes, bent down and carried Tang Shuhe to the car, let him lie on the back seat, and said, "Master, go to the First Hospital."

The driver glanced at us from the rear mirror and sighed: "How did you drink it?"

I don't answer.The driver was afraid that Tang Shuhe would spit on his car, so he drove very fast, and the car rushed out. I touched Tang Shuhe's face and watched the scene passing by outside in a daze. After a while, I heard Tang Shuhe's voice, he called me : "Lu Huai."

I bowed my head and smiled: "I'm awake."

He said, "...don't cry."

I wiped the water off my face and said, "Baby, I'll take you home, okay?"

He sighed and said slowly, "We don't have a home yet."

I said, "That's right...do you feel pain? Do you feel pain, Tang Shuhe?"

He lay on my lap, squinted his eyes, and looked at me with difficulty: "It's okay...the more you cry, the more it hurts, stop crying."

"We're almost at the hospital," I put one hand on the edge of the car window to cover my eyes, "I'll take you for a CT scan or something..."

He gave a low hum, and slowly hugged my waist.

I hugged him immediately, and the two cuddled together in the cramped backseat of the taxi.I didn't dare to look down at him, didn't dare to look at the bruises and bloodstains on his forehead, and didn't dare to let him see my tears and red eyes. Only then did I feel the burning pain in the knuckles of my hands. The blood should have been scratched when the door was smashed.I hugged the bruised Tang Shuhe heartbrokenly. I have never felt so confused and helpless. My arms are so thin. Even though I tried my best, I still couldn't protect the person I like. I just watched him bruised and bruised.

I went to the hospital for a checkup and found nothing serious, some soft tissue contusions and a slight concussion, fortunately.The doctor said that there is no need to be hospitalized, and you can stay for one night for observation. The two of us looked at each other. I would definitely not send him home, so I went through the hospitalization procedures for him. I called my mother and said that Tang Shuhe I was beaten by his father and couldn't go home. I had to take care of him. My mother didn't speak for a long time, and finally just said that you should be safe.Tang Shuhe kept throwing up that night because of a slight concussion. I found a plastic basin for him to put beside the bed so that he didn't have to get out of bed.Between vomiting, he leaned over tiredly, rubbed his head against my waist, and I patted him on the back lightly.I stroked his hair and asked, "Shu Xiaohe, didn't you say that your father rarely beats you? Why did you lie to me?"

"If you don't say that...what can you do," he said.

I was full of regret: "You tell me the truth that your father can beat people and beat you like this. I can't let you go home today."

He said softly: "If I don't go home, where can I go?"

I choked up.He closed his eyes dejectedly and leaned against the back of the chair.

Tang Shuhe propped up his upper body, and I quickly opened my eyes to support him. He looked at me and said, "Lu Huai, are you angry?"

The faint fear in his eyes, as if he had done something wrong, made my heart feel tight. I hugged him and touched his back: "No, I just feel bad."

He silently put his arms around my back and rested his head on the crescent of my neck.

He didn't sleep very peacefully that night, while I sat on the chair next to him, looking at his slightly frowning sleeping face, I don't know when I fell asleep.In the middle of the night, I felt someone touching my face quietly. I opened my eyes and met Tang Shuhe's eyes.Tang Shuhe's amber eyes were so deep and black at the moment, in the blurry night, he spoke a thousand words, but remained silent.Tang Shuhe withdrew his hand, leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, and said, "Come up and sleep."

I rubbed my eyes and said I don't need you to sleep with me. He lay down on the side and made room for me. After thinking about it, I lay down and hugged him sideways.

There was no problem the next day, and Tang Shuhe was discharged from the hospital.When going to class, Gu Jing looked at his face and was startled, and kept saying how could this happen, so she hurriedly called Tang Shuhe's parents, Gu Jing became more and more angry as she talked, and finally she was arguing with the other end of the phone. Simply hang up the phone.When Gu Jing was so angry, she threw the phone directly on the table with a bang.Then he turned his head and said to Tang Shuhe, "If I see him beating you again tomorrow, I will call the police immediately."

"Teacher Gu," Tang Shuhe said softly, "No need."

Gu Jing was stunned for a moment, turned her head away, waved her hand after a while and said, "Go back to class."

When entering the class, Tang Shuhe's face obviously showed a little embarrassment, Yu Sihai's face was not very good, Li Rui saw Tang Shuhe's face, and said directly: "Fuck." Everyone who came to class that day The teacher always looked at Tang Shuhe with a hesitant expression, said nothing, whitewashed peace with hatred, as if there had never been a boy who was bleeding because he liked boys in the first row of the classroom , the best boy ever, their favorite boy, my Tang Shuhe.

Gu Jing didn't know what she said to Tang Shuhe's parents that day. The two beat Tang Shuhe up like that the day before, and they didn't even go to the hospital to take a look. They insisted on letting Tang Shuhe come back by himself, but today they actually agreed to Tang Shuhe to stay at his grandma's house for a night.Gu Jing repeatedly emphasized to Tang Shuhe that if something happened that endangered his personal safety, he must contact her as soon as possible, and then scolded me: "Why didn't you tell me yesterday? If you two children can't handle it well, come out What if there is an accident?"

Me: "...I forgot."

In yesterday's situation, I was shocked, angry and distressed, my mind was full of Tang Shuhe, and I didn't think to inform Gu Jing at all.Gu Jing was anxiously scrolling through the exercise book in her hand, and unconsciously tapped it on the table. I stood there for a while, seeing that Gu Jing had nothing else to say, I silently withdrew.Tang Shuhe was waiting for me outside the office. When I came out, he was leaning against the wall in a daze, with gauze wrapped around his head. When he saw me coming out, he came up to me with my schoolbag and said with a smile, "Let's go. The monitor locks me up." The door is open, I took your bag out."

It's past five o'clock.The rosy glow of the spring evening shone through the window lattice and shone on his face, showing some scarlet color. I looked at him, and suddenly felt very, very sad. I walked over to take my bag, took his hand, and walked side by side slowly. Walk slowly outside the school.After passing the small playground on the third floor, there is a tall lilac tree on the asphalt path leading to the canteen. It is the lilac flowering season at this time. When the wind blows, the whole third floor of the building is filled with the lavender fragrance of lilac.When he got there, Tang Shuhe suddenly said, "My uncle is here to pick me up today."

I froze for a moment and said, "Oh, then I don't need to see you off? I'd better see you get in the car before leaving."

He nodded.I glanced at his mobile phone, which was fully charged, and then told him in a rambling manner: "Send me a text message when you arrive. I will call you every hour tonight. You must answer the phone. If you don't answer, I will call you." Go directly to find you, Teacher Gu has been turning on the phone tonight, if there is anything wrong, please contact us immediately, understand?"

He touched his nose, smiled a little embarrassedly, and nodded, as if he thought I was making a fuss out of a molehill.I sighed and hugged him, and he patted my back.

I muffled: "I'll tell you something."

"Ok?"

I coughed dryly: "I beat your father yesterday."

Tang Shuhe was taken aback: "Huh? Did he beat you?"

I said, "No...fuck, I saw you like that, and I was so mad that I punched him."

Tang Shuhe didn't know how to react for a moment, so he rubbed my head for a while.

After bypassing this lilac tree, you will leave the school gate.I stood there, reluctant to let him go, I pulled him and said, "Kiss again."

Tang Shuhe hugged my waist and kissed me.Too many kisses, from the raw shyness at the beginning, gradually sweet and familiar, gentle and ordinary.I carefully avoided his wounds and kissed him, and occasionally fine flowers would fall down. If it weren't for the gauze wrapped around his head, the scene would be too beautiful to be real.He got into his uncle's car anyway.Before getting into the car, he turned his head, smiled and waved to me.I have been standing in the golden red afterglow of the setting sun on a spring day, watching him slowly disappear.This memory is always shrouded in hazy and illusory light like the slow motion in those movies in my mind. If I write again after many years, I will definitely write this kiss in the shade of flowers under the sunset. At that time, the air The sun was warm and quiet, Tang Shuhe stood under the tall lilac tree and smiled at me.But at that time, I thought it was just an ordinary kiss.

I don't know it was eight years ago, the last time I saw Tang Shuhe.

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