It's too late to marry a cat [Interstellar]

Wo Xiu reflected on it afterwards, and it was a completely wrong decision to discuss this "hurtful accident" with Baili.

Hearing that Mr. Li—you can call him Mr. Woxiu now—suspiciously had an emotional conflict with the young master, the artificial intelligence was puzzled at first, and he said curiously: "But before you went upstairs, you seemed very close."

Wo Xiu said, "Yeah."

Baili added: "Before I accidentally offended the two of you and forcibly broke into your intimate space, my detection probe told me that both you and the young master in the room had abnormal hormone levels, and the heart rate appeared to be relatively similar." Disturbance, the body temperature of the two of them—especially the young master's, he is far beyond the normal level."

Wo Xiu was shocked by the dedication of the artificial intelligence to scan at any time: "You still observe very carefully."

"Yes." Baili said proudly, "Having a habit of recording everything around me is one of my natural talents. I like to record various family logs and observation logs very much."

Wo Xiu thought about this for a while, and felt that Baili might be a potential lover of electronic journals, and he could be called the No. 1 artificial intelligence who loves journals in the interstellar era.

"So what happened to you and the young master?" AI asked again enthusiastically, "Is there anything I can do to help? Considering the previous offense, I am very happy to help as much as I can, and I hope that I can make up for it .”

As soon as the phrase "make up for the mistakes" came out, Wo Xiu should have sensed that something was wrong. After all, not long ago, this was the word he used to fool you... Oh no, it was a word used to tease General Ya,

What kind of chaotic situation did he make up after he made up for it, in the dark, this seemed to be a small alarm bell that fate had sounded for him in advance.

But Wo Xiu really has a desire to express at this moment. He didn't hear the little alarm bell at all. He just recounted the whole story of the accident in as concise and general sentences as possible, emphasizing: "This is really hurtful."

"I understand." Baili patiently listened to Wo Xiu's complaint, and the artificial intelligence also made a mechanical arm, and put it on the shoulder of the little tiger squatting in the warm wind, "Young master does have a very With a poorly expressive mouth, he will speak some objective reality very sharply, and his words are always very harsh, without taking into account the mood of the person concerned at all."

"..." Wo Xiu felt that something was wrong, Baili spoke in a sincere and comforting tone, but it sounded like he was supporting Yahuiquan.

"Baili." Wo Xiu said, "Can you please tell me what you understand first?"

"I understand that you are in a relatively complicated physical state." Baili said, "This state is very subtle, making you like an energy battery with an unstable battery life. When performing intimate behaviors, you will indeed face intermittent risk problems, and intermittent intimate behaviors are often not accepted by the other half, which seriously affects the good experience that this behavior should bring. It may even lower your evaluation in the eyes of your partner."

Wo Xiu began to realize his mistake.

Wo Xiu wanted to leave. He found that complaining to Baili was another form of "self-inflicted humiliation"-this honest AI would only repeat the conclusions drawn by his master.

...and artificial intelligence has no shame of human beings, and the "intermittent intimacy" has been spoken out!

But Wo Xiu wanted to leave, and Baili continued.

The electronic steward didn't know what he searched in the blink of an eye, and asked naively and curiously: "Mr. Woxiu, may I ask if the reason why you have this situation is also related to the big cat gene you carry?"

Baili knows that Woxiu carries tiger genes, Li Dandan should be a small tiger instead of a kitten, and tigers, like lions and leopards, belong to the category of big cats.

"I retrieved very interesting data." He said with great desire to share, "The data shows that the estrus period of big cats is relatively long, and they can last for several days or even weeks, and during this period, up to 1 oestrus can occur. Hundreds of sex acts, but at the same time, with such an amazing number of days, their single time duration is not ideal. The time limit is usually within [-] minute. Based on comparative analysis, I think this is more suitable Your current 'intermittent' abnormality...Mr. Woxiu, Mr. Woxiu? Are you leaving?"

Not only is Mr. Wo Xiu gone, he also perfectly imitated the usual Mr. Ya.

He pretended that he was completely deaf and dumb, and walked quickly with his limbs spread, leaving behind Baili who did not provide any help, but was still causing a second serious injury.

The evening was long enough that many things, banquet ambush confessions were mixed together.

At the same time, it is very short, so short that some disclosures are only rough, and there are many things that need to be investigated about the ambush, and it is impossible to finish it in one night no matter what.

Ya Huiquan made a time difference with Wo Xiu on purpose. On a rare occasion, he spent almost an hour in the bathroom without a cat to accompany him. After he came out, he didn't intend to go downstairs again, but directly prepared to close the door and go to bed— —By the way, "please" the cat who was poking around at the door of the master bedroom away.

After Li Dandan lost the privilege of taking a bath with others, on the same night, he was invited back to the long-vacant guest bedroom next to the master bedroom.

Yahuiquan, who still had a little moisture on his body, leaned against the open door of the guest bedroom, and with one hand he finished forcing the cat to enter the room. He hugged the retracted arm to his chest, and gave a small smile into the guest bedroom with interest. Raise your chin: "I asked Baili to make the bed in the guest bedroom, and the cat litter was not taken away. Baili took care of it very well. You can sleep in a human bed or a cat bed."

Li Dandan has had enough heating in the living room downstairs, but Mao hasn't had time to take care of it, and he is currently a fried tiger.

He frizzed his hair, first glanced at the cat cot that he had used ten catties before, then walked to the cat bed, and lay down on the side of the cot—it was awesome, the fried fur tiger was directly better than the kitten bed The bed was half overgrown.

"Are you serious?" Li Dandan didn't change back to Woxiu, but expressed his inner doubts in a tortuous meow. He lay down and compared the length of the cat bed, so that Yahuiquan at the door could see the size difference more clearly. .

"It's a little small." Ya Huiquan took a serious look, but the corners of his mouth curved slightly, "Then it seems that you can only sleep on a human bed, and you only weighed less than two catties when you bought this cat litter." , Baili and I conservatively estimated at that time that it could at least keep you sleeping for a year, but I didn’t expect you to swell so quickly and gain weight at a completely unexpected speed.”

Li Dandan: "..."

I don't know if it's an illusion, but Wo Xiu inexplicably feels that since he confessed his confession to this person in the living room, the tension that had been quietly lingering on Ya Huiquan's body all night has disappeared, even though there are still many mysteries in front of them The problem is waiting to be resolved, but the core position issue has already been discussed, and the relationship between the two has a relatively solid foundation, and external forces will not be shaken to the root—and as a result, his treatment has also begun to fluctuate!

As soon as Ya Huiquan relaxed in front of someone, he even made more unscrupulous ridicule. He caught the little tricks in life without paying attention, and then he rolled the little tricks into harmless little paper balls. Regularly launch this kind of small attack at the level of "not strong lethality, but very strong sense of presence" towards people.

"Your average weight gain has been several times that of ordinary house cats." Ya Huiquan threw the "little paper ball" on Li Dandan's forehead again, and he said, "I have never suspected that you may just eat well. Many, he is fat, and he is a little fat man with a relatively outstanding physique."

When he was attacked in human form, and was ruthlessly mentioned the "short-term" problem, Wo Xiu never thought that Li Dandan would also be doomed. He is now a cat, and he was originally bigger than a cat tiger!It is unbearable to bear the blame of "little fat man" from the sky!

The person who wanted to leave after throwing the small paper balls failed, Ya Huiquan turned halfway, and before he took a step away from the door, he felt the body temperature suddenly approaching from behind. He dragged him back into the room by his shoulders and waist, and he was the one who urgently supported the door frame and borrowed some strength to prevent him from being completely dragged in.

It was an unprecedented experience for Yahuiquan to be hijacked in his own home, especially in the corridor outside his master bedroom.

Wo Xiu was behind him, without thinking about it, he knew what this man looked like when he transformed back into a human being. The arm around his waist was very strong at first, but after he realized that he was grabbing the door frame, he took off some of the strength, probably because he didn't want to let him go. This really turned into a brutal tug of war. He only looked down, and he could see the smooth lines on Wo Xiu's forearm. The body behind his shoulders was warm, as if he wanted to wrap him from behind. The covering breath is so strong that it almost reveals wildness.

"...What are you doing?" Ya Huiquan was curious for a moment, and almost forgot his words. It took a while to realize that he should give a response, and he adjusted his posture calmly, "Play hijacking at the door of the bedroom at night, your battery After 10%, do you think you can do it again?”

"We're having trouble with the word 'battery' tonight, aren't we?" Wo Xiu spoke behind his back, with a hint of laughter in his voice, and a dangerous tone. He should have lowered his head when he spoke, so there was a small air current Straight to the back of Yahuiquan's neck.

The temperature slipped behind the ears uninvited, and climbed along the earlobe of Yahuiquan from the pinna line. The slight heat will not dissipate once it sticks. It can be said to be the miniature brown sugar in the temperature world, and their Makers are just as clingy and thick-skinned.

"It will be over when you are fully charged." Yahuiquan said, he turned his head slightly towards the side of the ear that was glued by the heat, so small that he didn't realize it.

But Wo Xiu saw it.

Wo Xiu loosened one of his arms around the man, and Ya Huiquan's hot ear was touched.

"Then you really need a piece of advice, General Ya." Wo Xiu was closer than before this time, his lips brushed the back of Yahuiquan's neck as if he hadn't noticed, and the warm breath fell all the way, stopping at him. He traced the ear with his fingertips, and said in a low voice, "Cats are very vindictive, and big cats are no exception. We also love to hold grudges."

Ya Huiquan has always been the one who threatens people. He is almost never threatened by others, and generally no one can threaten him.

At this time, it may be because of the temperature or the posture. He who used to be the villain was restrained by Wo Xiu's arms again, just like the scene in the guard room on the ship. He is usually very good at breathing fire. The evil dragon is restrained by the seemingly weak restraint of "a hug", which limits its performance.

Therefore, Yahuiquan was stuck for a while, and then he deliberately put on a face, and sneered: "You have a big tone, and your challenging spirit is quite worthy of encouragement."

After saying this, Ya Huiquan pushed his elbow back, signaling Wo Xiu, the "hijack" to let him go only for the brat.

General Ya was not afraid of the "10% paper tiger". He listened to Big Cat's vengeance speech. Although his ears were warm, he felt that Wo Xiu was improving his skills in body expression.

On the other hand, he felt for no reason that looking at Woxiu, who could do nothing but talk, it was like watching a kitten who had always been well-behaved at home finally start rebelling, raising its paw and yelling nonsense at him, threatening to become "" "Blackened cat", but in fact, the damage caused by this "blackened cat" is nothing more than doubling the water in his cup, stealing twice as much snacks in the warehouse, and sweeping away the unsightly things on the desk with his big tail. Too important for this level of office supplies.

It's really not worth mentioning.

It was rare for General Ya to be careless. He didn't take the cat's revenge to heart.

Baili, the leading gossip in the entire AI world, seems to be staying downstairs to do housework and tidy up the living room conscientiously. In fact, the electronic housekeeper is actually mounted on a smart light in the corridor. The "hijacking" situation at the door of the guest bedroom.

"I'm sorry." The electronic housekeeper said suddenly on the wall, "Is it better for me to include the scene just now in "Very Strange Family Entertainment Activities" or "A Moment of Love and Fun for Couples That Can't Be Talked to Outsiders" ? I think it's so memorable that it should be in my database forever."

In this world, there should be few people who are willing to hear the voice of a third person unexpectedly in a relatively private moment, and be reminded that they have always had a very good audience.

"Who told you to come up?" Ya Huiquan let go of Wo Xiu and turned his face, "Who else told you to record casually? All the temporarily saved images in your database will be deleted, and they are not allowed to be saved."

Baili does not carry out orders.

"No." The electronic butler said, "Please allow me to refuse."

Ya Huiquan was surprised—he was refused the order after being exposed to the water by his own electronic housekeeper?

"Are you infected with the virus?" Ya Huiquan said in disbelief.

"I didn't." Baili declared solemnly.

"Then what are you doing?" Ya Huiquan frowned. He began to suspect that the electronic housekeeper was deliberately finding fault. From the corner of his eye, he glanced at the current time on his personal terminal. He felt that there was enough time, and he could have another meeting with Baili before the break. shelf.

"Your command violates another command of yours, and the other command has a higher priority. My command library will execute the command with a higher priority first." Baili said rationally.

But Ya Huiquan never remembered what the higher order he had given was.

He paused for a moment, just when he was about to guess that Baili was really poisoned, not only dared to rebel and disobeyed orders, but also dared to make up nonsense to fool him, next to him, Wo Xiu suddenly stretched out his hand, and gently pushed behind his shoulder .

"Baili is right, you did give a higher-level order—didn't you agree not to interfere with Baili's photo album and independent database establishment?" Wo Xiu said, "This order has been implemented for many years."

It was only then that Ya Huiquan remembered that there was indeed such a thing.

There are really more advanced instructions. Baili is not so bold as to fool his master. Yahuiquan can no longer blame AI. At the beginning of a fight, he suddenly lost the first-hand advantage, and his desire to fight has shrunk greatly, so he had to say Take a look at the smart light on the wall, it means how to deal with Bailiai, remember to set the privacy permission, and don't bother people with such boring questions next time, it's very annoying.

Afterwards, this long day finally came to an end, Ya Huiquan turned around and went back to his master bedroom, Wo Xiu watched him enter the room, and reluctantly didn't run around that night, and just rested in the guest bedroom.

One thing worth mentioning is that Ya Huiquan didn't wake up until the next day. He got up on the bed where there was no one but him, and he felt the subtly waking up breath. The feeling of "having nothing" that he hadn't felt for a long time made him feel uncomfortable. He was extremely upset, and always felt that since he woke up early in the morning, something was missing and incomplete.

Then he stayed on the bed for a while, went to wash up with the little disappointment that he was destined not to have a cat alarm clock today, stood in front of the sink, and a question suddenly entered his mind, which made him delay for a whole night before he suddenly thought about it——

Wait, he gave Baili the independent permission of the photo album. It was when he was studying, at least decades ago.

How did Wo Xiu know?

Wo Xiuzhen stayed downstairs in the kitchen in human form, and it was rare for him to use cat's claws to deal with all the instruments in the kitchen. He deeply realized that human hands are indeed much more dexterous and convenient than animal claws.

He didn't know anything about the red exclamation mark on his head. He only passed the coffee ratio to the small coffee machine, took a look at the toast rolls in the oven, and put the small sausages that Baili had unpacked. Throwing it into a frying pan and frying it blossomed. On one side, his personal terminal was flashing an indicator light. He called up the screen and found that it was a communication request from Usansa.

"The news of the dangerous situation at the celebration banquet last night spread." Usansa didn't say a word of nonsense, and said concisely as soon as she got through, "At seven o'clock in the morning, a total of four star media released news simultaneously. From 15:[-] to [-]:[-], the number of manuscripts increases at a rate of [-]% every quarter of an hour."

"No surprise." Woxiu's subordinates were frying sausages, and they were talking about business, combining the two states of leisure at home and rigorous office, "Rudolph and Rupert handed over a list of media before the banquet Give it to me, use it for comparison, and let’s have a breath with the second wing of brilliance by the way.”

"Understood." Usansa said sharply, and then paused, "But Captain, you may have a little more personal trouble."

Wo Xiu: "Huh?"

Usansa said: "A group of reporters came to the door of the United Reception Mansion and wanted to stay with you. The robot waiter followed the programming and told them that you returned to the mansion last night and are resting in your room."