It's too late to marry a cat [Interstellar]

Baili did not know that he was connected to the prehistoric database again. He was silent for a few seconds at Yahuiquan, and decided to ignore him. He took the words of the electronic housekeeper as a case of "AI with unsolved puzzles in the star calendar era can also suffer from paranoia" Record, when walking straight to the kitchen, the AI ​​deduced the person's thoughts, unwilling to be ignored, Baili chased after the person, and said loudly: "Master, I found an ancient proverb from the ancient earth period here, thinking that You should listen to it now."

Thanks to Admiral Ya’s mansion for being so big, even if Ya Huiquan’s long legs strode to the widest point, he couldn’t teleport from the entrance to the kitchen door in the blink of an eye. , corridor, inner living room... Finally, you can reach the dining room in the living area and see your target kitchen.

This made him even want to get rid of Baili halfway.

The electronic housekeeper moved all the way to various home appliances, tirelessly saying "You should listen to it".

Yahuiquantou was about to be bombarded with noise, and was so annoyed that he had to say when he finally turned into the corridor, "Why should I listen?"

He didn't want to hear it, but he had a hunch that Baili was going to raise an argument, and he just wanted to let the electronic housekeeper change his words, so that he wouldn't use an AI with a fairly advanced core as a repeater like it had been infected with a virus.

"Because I just analyzed your expression and found that you think it is absurd that cats want to cook for you." Finally changed the sentence, the artificial intelligence that stopped the "repeater mode" said, "Considering The probability that Mr. Li really has this idea is as high as 85%. If you deny his intention just because "a cat should not know how to cook", then this behavior of denying the other half based on stereotypes without thinking will have a chance to bring you Come to emotional crisis."

Yahuiquan: "..."

For a moment, Yahuiquan was almost taken in by Baili's seriousness, and even really thought about the issue of "stereotype".

But soon, he realized that the artificial intelligence was just talking nonsense in a serious manner, and sneered: "Then you can give me a data report—or a record of the case, please come and subvert this 'stereotype' for me, Let me hear, is there any evidence that someone's cat will take the initiative to cook."

The word "stereotype" was bitten very hard, and General Yashang exudes the meaning of "I can't tell you that you are artificially retarded" from his expression to his tone.

There happened to be an air quality monitor in front of him. The small panels dotted the wall of the corridor, and he raised his hand and knocked on it—rightly, he knocked on the nonsense AI.

The small panel originally displayed the current indoor readings. It was a small liquid screen. When someone knocked on it, the readings on the panel immediately dissipated and were replaced by an "X" that filled the entire screen.

"Doing something because you don't agree with your heart is a behavior that is not conducive to the harmony of the family atmosphere. When you get along with Mr. Li who has a real body, you must try your best to restrain your temper." Baili said so solemnly, Before turning the conversation around, the electronic housekeeper said, "Your proposal is very reasonable, and it just coincides with the old proverb I want you to hear. I think you are willing to listen to that sentence now——it It's 'there's no such thing as a hard job, just a brave dog'." (1*)

Yahuiquan: "..."

Yahuiquan said, "Then?"

"According to my data survey, this sentence seems to be the highest praise for smart dogs by people on the ancient earth. It proves that a small animal that is smart enough can accomplish countless things beyond human imagination." Baili once again Seriously and convincingly said, "By analogy, this sentence has also derived multiple versions such as 'There are no difficult tasks, only smart cats'. After analysis, I think they all have a certain degree of truth. .”

Before Yahuiquan had time to ask where the "authenticity" came from, he always felt that something was wrong, but he couldn't interrupt Baili in time.

I can only listen to Baili to continue: "Considering that Mr. Li is indeed a smart cat, contemporary smart home appliances have greatly reduced the manual process of food processing. In fact, many cooking operations only need to touch a few buttons. It can be done, if Mr. Li finds out the right method of operation and really wants to cook for you, then it is naturally feasible to use kitchen appliances to cook a dinner for you."

Ya Huiquan missed the opportunity to interrupt, and listened to the electronic butler's output of fallacies one after another.

What was more frightening than listening to the AI's nonsense was that he waited for Baili to finally stop, and after he had accidentally told all the AI's nonsense, he found out very badly:

Something is wrong, why does he think this seems to make sense.

...But it shouldn't be, this can't be counted like this, can it?

"Where are your data and cases?" Ya Huiquan walked forward for a long time without saying a word, and he finally remembered that Baili seemed to be outputting only around one point of view from the beginning to the end, and did not give him enough to support the argument at all. case.

Thinking of this incident, he picks the thorn again, ready to drag himself back from the fork that was almost persuaded.

Not far ahead, the kitchen where the noise was being heard was already very close to people.

"Or." Baili said, "Would you like to go a few steps forward and take a look at our kitchen?"

Other people's cases are just cases after all. Other people's cats may not be as smart as our Li Dandan, and those who are smart may not be as caring as them.

——Yahuiquan inexplicably grasped this meaning from Baili's words.

He first subconsciously listened carefully to the movement in the kitchen, and made sure that at least it sounded like there was no problem in his kitchen, and there was no tragic catastrophe happening in it, no risk of explosion, no crisis of demolition.

To be honest, Baili has talked to this point, and even made a lot of fallacies to shake people's determination. Yahuiquan is indeed very curious about the scene in the kitchen, and wants to see for himself what is going on in his kitchen spectacle.

The person who didn't get the data case shut up temporarily - he didn't realize that he might have been fooled by the electronic housekeeper, and the AI ​​also learned to change the subject.

Two minutes later, Yahuiquan finally arrived at the door of the kitchen.

It was indeed a spectacle.

On the cooking table that was customized according to the height of an adult, a cat was very busy jumping up and down on the table. It seemed that it was concentrating on checking the instructions of the machines one by one. It didn't realize that the people it usually went out to greet had already returned—— It has even come behind it.

Cats are busy.

Li Dandan realized for the first time today that there are too many kitchen appliances in their house. Even though its people didn’t stay at home for a long time, most of them stayed outside Mount Monte all year round. According to the type of food stored, there are a total of eight boxes, not counting the two large vertical refrigerators by the kitchen door.There are a total of [-] small household appliances for cooking and kitchen robots, which is a whole series with comprehensive functions.

As long as the ingredients are prepared and the recipes are entered in advance, these small appliances can cook everything from Chinese-style dishes to Western-style meals.

And that's nothing.

What shocked the cat most was that it also found a military-standard nutrient cream synthesizer in the kitchen.

And when checking the function and usage of home appliances one by one, when he accidentally touched the "History Record" button of the machine, Li Dandan just casually glanced at the screen that was accidentally called up, and the cat stopped.

Yahuiquan has a huge kitchen, with a full set of kitchen machines that can make a full banquet at home with just a command.

However, historical records show that more than 90% of the home appliances here have been used less than three times, and 70% of the appliances have never been used since they were purchased.

Among all kitchen appliances, the most frequently used one is the nutrient cream synthesizer.

General Yashang said the night before that he would ask the electronic housekeeper to prepare the nutritional cream next time, but that was not a mere exaggeration.

It is true that people have eaten many nutritional creams at home.

And in the past, because this family did not have a cat that cared and was full of action, no one could forcibly pull a person's ankle or wrist to prevent him from leaving, and sent him into the kitchen with persuasion and hatred.

Therefore, no one can control him.

Maybe no one thought about him.

Li Dandan should have checked all the home appliance descriptions long ago. Its speed of reading text and parameters is not slow. The result is that this historical data dragged it and hung it, making it involuntarily read all the records twice. .

The first pass is simply a reading of what the person who reads it has eaten at home.

The second time, with a more and more troubled heart, the cat carefully picked each line of seemingly cold and formulaic data, rummaged through them hard, pieced together, and just assembled a corner of Yahuiquan's past life—— —I also tried to figure out the person's dietary preferences by the way.

I vaguely remember that people don't like to see too ugly food raw materials, and they are not too happy to face raw raw materials that have not been processed.

As soon as Li Dandan came home from hunting, he entrusted Baili in meow language, and asked the electronic housekeeper to help him dispose of the "prey" he brought back.

Ya Huiquan, who came home late, stood by the kitchen door, watching the cat busily busy on the cooking table: "..."

He couldn't decide his mood for a while, and was rendered speechless by what he saw, feeling that this spectacle was really beyond his imagination.

Some of the concepts that he was able to hold firm before are dangerously crumbling. He seems to be convinced by the fallacies of AI and the cat who personally provided examples.

"Meow?" Li Dandan suddenly recognized the one he was particularly familiar with among the complex smell factors in the kitchen.Turning around, he saw a man by the door.

The cat gave a surprised meal, and then quickly jumped off the cooking table, feeling very guilty for not noticing that the man had returned today, and hurried to make up for the welcome home that the man deserved.

Yahuiquan was "silenced" by the welcome from the cat.

He hugged Li Dandan, and asked with some difficulty: "Do you really... want to cook a meal?"

Li Dandan was very sure: "Meow."

Yes.

Cat language and human language may not understand each other, and a cat's face is not as expressive as a human's.

But anyway, cats also have a pair of transparent eyes that can convey emotions.

Ya Huiquan silently met Li Dandan's eyes, and could see that the cat seemed to be serious.

"..." He took a deep breath, and struggled in his heart between "Is this okay?", "The cat is too smart", and "Shouldn't the enthusiasm of smart cubs be discouraged"-nothing came out of his struggle.

The amount of information is too large and beyond expectations. General Ya is more inclined to stand at the door of his kitchen because he is really too busy these days, and his mind is overloaded with business affairs. matter.

"I shouldn't say that Baili is daydreaming." Ya Huiquan thought, "I am the one who is dreaming. Is it too late for me to go to bed now?"

But reality obviously does not change with people's self-deception. After all, Ya Huiquan failed to go to sleep. He sat in his restaurant in a sleepwalking sense of unreality, and listened to Baili join the kitchen "battlefield", becoming a Li Dandan's technical support and operation guidance.

Yahuiquan didn't realize until later that he didn't seem to see where the "results" of the cat's hunting were, so he grabbed the electronic housekeeper in a complicated mood and asked.

The electronic housekeeper replied: "Quarantine procedures are being implemented."

Yahuiquan: "...you guys are quite rigorous."

"Of course, young master." Baili said seriously, "Mr. Li made a special trip to hunt. Although this is a precious kindness, at the same time, we also need to face up to the problem that food that has not been formally quarantined should not be imported. ——I have discussed it with Mr. Li just now, we will keep its hunting results for the time being, tonight, in order for you to eat as soon as possible, we will use the ingredients in the family fresh box to cook dinner for you."

Ya Huiquan was clearly arranged by his cat and AI, and ate the most weird meal in his life in a daze.

Although carefully distinguished, this dinner should be mainly made by Baili, and the electronic housekeeper helped to deploy more kitchen equipment.

But neither humans nor AI can deny that the cat did contribute and participated in the dinner production process.

Because the whole person was too shocked, I couldn't help being shocked just by looking at this dinner with cats.

Ya Huiquan ate this meal very slowly.

Yesterday, his meal time was still lower than the average time, and today he directly doubled the average time.

After a meal is finished, it is no different from eating a supper. The blood sugar rises significantly after eating, which brings a sense of fatigue to those who originally wanted to work a night shift.

Li Dandan is really a good and responsible cat.

It not only participates in people's dietary arrangements, but also pays close attention to people's physical function status.

After Ya Huiquan had been dragged into the kitchen by a cat, this night, he was dragged into the bedroom by a cat again.

For those who have been in the army for a long time, personal washing is a matter that can be done in a few minutes. Ya Huiquan took a shower efficiently under the supervision of the cat, changed his clothes and lay down. He was about to habitually reach out to the cat , waiting for the cat to jump on his pillow as usual.

As a result, Li Dandan patted him with the pads of his paws, turned around and left again.

Yahuiquan: "..."

Yahuiquan asked the ubiquitous Baili: "Where does it go?"

"The kitchen downstairs." Baili, who knew everything, replied.

The tone is also very emotional.

Because of sleepiness and the mild sluggishness caused by the rise in blood sugar, Ya Huiquan sat in the bed with the quilt pulled up. It took him another minute to digest this sentence, and he understood——

The cat, because it noticed that the person was sleepy, first dragged the person back to the upstairs room, and followed the person to wash and change clothes.

It wasn't until people went to bed that the cat made sure that people wouldn't take advantage of it to turn around and go to work in the study again, so it walked away with confidence and went to clean up the kitchen that it hadn't had time to clean up before.

"Am I being cared for by a cat?" Ya Huiquan wondered incredulously.

He felt weird, as if no matter how he thought about it, it didn't feel right.

But when Li Dandan left and came back, with the help of the cleaning robot, tidying up the kitchen was no problem at all. When the cat came back less than 10 minutes after leaving, people felt the body temperature lying next to their head again, Pulling out the hand from the quilt and stretching it up, one can feel the warmth and fur of one hand.

Li Dandan grunted in the dark, and let someone's hand touch his belly for 2 minutes, then it clawed back and pushed Yahuiquan's hand down.

But that's not what a cat means by saying that it refuses to be approached by people.

The cat was just persistently caring, feeling that it would be enough for a person to touch it for 2 minutes, and pressed the person's exposed arm back into the quilt.

Ya Huiquan still felt weird, and the feeling of "being taken care of by someone" became a little stronger than before when the cat held his arm, which made him even more uncomfortable.

At the same time, he was thinking: "Forget it."

It's not right, it's weird, it doesn't fit.

But... it's okay.