Ji Yu

"In the past so many years, have you ever resented me for anything?"

Without thinking about it, I shook my head.

As for resentment, I only had it against the young master of the Liu family.Because of him, I have fallen into a miserable situation and acquired a status that everyone despises.Because he never regarded me as a person, but as a plaything for fun.It would be fine if he just possessed the body, but he always pretended to be a lover.Especially after discovering how much Gu Shao valued me, Lao Ai made such a tone that he liked me so much, as if because of my humble status, I should admire him to please him, he probably never thought that I hated him .He makes me sick.I do hate him.

Except for my love for Qiyu and my hatred for Liu Shao, I didn't have any strong emotions for other people.It is clear in my heart that what should be done, what should be dealt with, and what should be dealt with.

Qiyu breathed a sigh of relief, "That's good. You used to be very indifferent to me, which made me feel uneasy. I was really afraid that you really hated me at that time."

I shook my head, "I never hated you. At that time, I just felt that you were separated from me and treated me as an outsider, which made me a little sad."

He paused, and said: "In the past, maybe I... did have selfish intentions. It's not that I regarded you as an outsider, but... I was a little bit on guard against you, leaving myself a way out. I'm afraid you'll get tired of it I am afraid that you will marry a wife and have children. So I want to earn more money, so that even if I live alone in the future, I will not be too poor. I can even spend money to find someone to accompany me. I have always been close to you, relying on you You, and you seem to be dispensable to me, always makes me...uneasy. "

I was taken aback by how straightforward he was.It's not that I didn't guess the selfishness he said.But it feels normal.At that time, didn't I think that if he was not good, I would leave him to marry a wife and have children?He's sorry for me thinking so.Can it be said that we were really bedfellows at that time, a natural couple?

It was me who was more wrong.Although I was serious about him, in the end it was just a passive attitude.No wonder he was flustered, thinking that sooner or later I would have a second heart, so he would rather listen to Gu Shao than make money to save himself.If I had cared more about him and cared and loved him as much as I do now, probably he wouldn't be separated from me, and he wouldn't feel the need for an escape route.

After all, he had already handed over all the money to me before.That is roughly an attitude, indicating that you will advance and retreat with me in the future.It is also a kind of temptation, to test how I treat him.I probably let him down then.

"For the vast majority of men, perhaps it is right to marry a wife and have children. To support the family and take care of their wives and children, a man is the king of a family. But I can't be the king, I know. It's not because I don't like women. It’s that I can’t be someone else’s god. From the bottom of my heart, I don’t want to be someone else’s god.”

Realizing that he was expressing his heart to me, I washed my hands, stretched out my arms to hold him in my arms, and listened silently.

"I have money, I can make money, and I can support so many people. But I still can't be this day. Without you by my side, I don't want to do anything, and I can't do anything. At that time, when you were by my side , I make money very happily. Even if I go out for a few days, as long as I know that you are waiting for me at home, I will feel at ease. Although it is because I want to make more money because of selfishness, it is because you are by my side that I can continue. Those two days When you were away in [-], I was so empty in my heart that I couldn't get up to do anything. If it weren't for the competent shopkeepers I hired, I'm afraid I would have lost all my money. I didn't earn as much as I spent. So I was happy Those people I dealt with, for some reason, I didn’t want to deal with them at all. After you came back, I realized that I regarded you as my god. Although I always worry about you and always want to carry you behind my back Saving money, in fact, I don’t want to do anything without you. Later, I thought, if I didn’t get along with you at the beginning, and I was released from the mansion when I was older, I would probably spend all the money I saved in the flower building. They don’t know how to do business to make money at all, and when their money runs out, they may die of poverty.”

"What are you talking about?" I patted him, "I'm not taboo."

He paused, and continued: "I know if I say, I can't live without you, you will think I'm talking sweet words, or I'm trying to trick you again. But it's true, without you, I will Can't survive."

He paused every word, neither excited nor sad, and his tone was flat.But it touched my heart more than usual.

Qiyu and I have different ideas.I want to have a family, and I hope that someone in the family will know the cold and the hot, and care about my life.And I am willing to support my family, protect them, and support my family.What I need is actually emotional support. I hope that someone needs me and depends on me.

For a long time, when I was with Qiyu, he was doing business to make money, and I was just doing things behind the scenes.It's not that I don't want to make money, but that I don't need to do it.At first it was Qiyu who was interested in this, but later I felt that the money was enough, so I was too lazy to bother.

I always thought that he was the same as me. He went into business, dealt with it, made money, and gave many people a job, which was also a way of life.When he was in Lecheng, he felt more and more like the head of the family, and even raised a concubine.In this mountain Lengduo, he has won the sincere gratitude and respect of many people, and he has become more and more confident.I thought that he stood in the same position as me, standing side by side.No one is overly dependent on anyone, but they support and trust each other.Although he expressed his feelings for me directly and strongly, I always thought it was just because he liked me very much.

It turned out that he was very dependent on me emotionally.

fair enough.

Isn't this exactly what I want?

A family that belongs to me completely, a lover who can accompany me for the rest of my life.In the hidden corner of my heart, I want someone who can depend on me completely.I thought it would be a woman. She would be my wife, who would regard me as heaven, bear children, sew and cook for me.And I will protect her and take care of her for the rest of her life.

Qi Yu... Qi Yu.

"Do you think I'm useless? A man, what do you want to die or live?"

I recovered from my thoughts, looked at him with a smile and shook his head and said, "No, this is very good."

"Very good? Don't you feel tired? Don't you feel bored?"

"do not think so."

He sighed, "I didn't dare to say this to you before. I was afraid that you would find me annoying, that I was useless, and that you would think that I was not a man. I know you have always admired the kind of capable and responsible People. People like Gu Shao. But I'm not that kind of person."

I admire Gu Shao?

I was in awe and awe.Respect his ambition, even if he was stepped into the mud, he did not give up on himself.There are many people who are persevering, but most of them are not standing on a high ground.He has status and intelligence, but his family is ruined and his dignity is all crushed in the future. How can he get up like this, how can he be disrespected.I respect him, but I am afraid of his means.To achieve his goal, he is probably someone who can sell himself, not to mention us as pawns.

This can barely be regarded as appreciation.Appreciate it, but never want to get close.I think Qiyu should not expect this kind of respectful appreciation.

I hugged him tightly, "But I don't like Gu Shao. I like you."

He smiled, although I didn't see the smile, but I saw the corners of his slightly curved eyes, "Is it because I'm stupid and easy to cheat than him, that you like me?"

He is still stupid?The big thing is that he can do business and make money.In terms of life, he learns everything quickly, such as cooking and hunting.In terms of feelings, he used countless little tricks on me. I knew it was his little tricks, but I was still happy and happy because of those tricks, which can only show that he has figured out me.People smarter than him are rare.

But he and Gu Shao are not comparable people.What he asked for was never too much, and it should be said that it was all within his ability.And what Gu Shao is asking for, I don't know what it is, maybe it is revenge, maybe it is the honor of the family, maybe it is the future of the descendants... What Gu Shao is asking for is much more difficult and heavy.What Gu Shao wants is not petty love at all.So when it comes to smart means, they are in different arenas at all, and there is no way to compare them.

"Yeah, it's because you're stupid and easy to cheat that I like you so much," I lazily played tricks on him.

Qiyu is expecting me to deny his words, and listen to me praise him by the way. He likes to say something like this and wait for me to refute it. It has always been like this in the past.Unexpectedly, this time I followed his words, he frowned, turned around and twisted my waist.

He hasn't touched me like this for a long time. Although it hurts, he feels a little bit of enjoyment in his heart.

"Ji Yu..."

"Ok?"

"Do you know why I am telling you this today?"

"why?"

"Should this be called courtesy before soldiers? I don't know if I should say that. Anyway, I have finished talking about my faults and shortcomings first, and you also said that you don't blame me and don't hate me. Then you can't use these as excuses to dislike me Me. If we have disputes and conflicts in the future, I will stand on the ground."

"Why do you have so many eyes? What do you think about every day? Just think about how to deal with me?"

"Yeah, I think about you every day. You don't like to owe others, and you are polite no matter what you do. You won't do things that don't make sense. I've picked myself up now. Then you won't have any Reasons and excuses to dislike me. You can't leave me."

I was joking with him, but he gave a very serious answer in the affirmative, which really made me laugh and cry.Some time ago, his silence was because of his scars, or was it because he was thinking about how to deal with me?

I feel more and more like a vixen.