Watching you quietly outside the window

After school on Friday, Chen Jun went to the crossroads to pick up Lan Ye, but that day, he didn't wait for Lan Ye, probably because of his conflicts in his heart, Chen Jun waited there for more than 4 hours, and he didn't go home until almost 11 o'clock.At that time, Lan Ye was still not there. He called Lan Ye and found that Lan Ye's mobile phone was left at home.Chen Jun never had a feeling of trembling in his heart. He paced up and down in the living room, but he still didn't dare to think about where Lan Ye was going.Time passed by the dial every minute and every second, Chen Jun stared at the dial in a daze, the only sound in the room was the sound of the clock turning and the incomparably clear heartbeat from the chest.Are you sad?A little, angry?Not very clear, but the most is the feeling of infinite hopelessness that pierces into the marrow of the bone...

When it was almost 12 o'clock, Chen Jun heard the sound of the door opening, Chen Jun turned his head dully, and the door opened.Lan Ye walked in wearily, his face was pale, his eye circles were a little red, and there was a trace of tears flowing from the corners of his eyes.He raised his head wearily, and saw Chen Jun standing in the living room, he was taken aback for a moment, then said calmly and even indifferently: "Ah Jun, why are you still awake?" He closed the door without hesitation.

There was another heart-wrenching pain in Chen Jun's chest. He walked over in three steps at a time, hugged Lan Ye, and held him tightly. Then he felt a warm liquid soaking his shoulders. It was Lan Ye's tears. He was crying silently, but he kept silent. He seemed to have noticed Chen Jun's abnormality. The despair that turned into a shadow spread in the air unconsciously, filling the whole room with despair. breath.Chen Jun kept asking himself: Why?Why?

Lan Ye's mother has recovered a lot recently, and all indicators are up to standard, and she will have an operation in two weeks.On Sunday, Chen Jun was in etiquette and went to the hospital with Lan Ye to see her.Lan Ye's mother is doing well, but she seems to have gained some weight. When Chen Jun entered the ward, she was leaning on the bedside and reading a magazine. After seeing Chen Jun, she greeted him warmly.

Lan Ye sat by the bed with him, and Lan Ye's mother asked about Lan Ye's physical condition and study status, and talked about some past events.Chen Jun was listening on the sidelines, and occasionally smiled.Lan Ye's mother suddenly said something in the chat, which made Chen Jun unable to laugh anymore.She said: "Lan Ye, you seem to have lost weight. I saw you not so thin last week. Eat more."

Hearing these words from last week, Chen Jun was almost stunned, and then couldn't help thinking: Lan Ye didn't come to the hospital yesterday, so where did he go so late?Chen Jun thought of Wang Yi... and then he tried to exclude himself, he couldn't go there, Chen Jun repeatedly emphasized in his heart... Lan Ye must be thinking too much and want to walk on the street alone, or I went to other classmates’ homes, but the chances of Lan Ye doing these things are almost zero...Chen Jun forced himself not to think in a bad direction, deceiving himself that there may still be some loopholes in the facts that he has already known, and the witness is right in front of him, just ask Whether she, Lan Ye, came to her yesterday solved all the doubts, but he didn't dare to ask, he was too afraid to know the truth...

Before leaving, Lan Ye's mother said to Chen Jun: "Mr. Chen, you don't have to accompany Lan Ye all the time, it's too much trouble for you."

Chen Jun answered absent-mindedly: "It's okay, it should be." He didn't have the time to think about anything, and all he had on his mind was the matter of Lan Ye, which made him confused.

On Monday, Chen Jun started to go to work normally. In addition to picking up and dropping off Lan Ye every day, he also forced himself to add a task-eating with Lan Ye at noon for no other reason, he just didn't want Lan Ye to disappear again.

However, on Tuesday night, when Chen Jun went to the crossroads, he didn't wait for Lan Ye.For some reason that night, it snowed again. The snow fell so heavily that day that the bottoms of the shoes were lost in a short while, but there was no wind.Chen Jun stood in the snow, and the cold temperature of the ground came through the soles of his shoes, making his feet numb from the cold, but he still stood there stubbornly.Vehicles passed by one after another, and after a few rounds, the students could no longer be seen. Chen Jun wanted to see Lan Ye, even if he came from another direction, as long as he came back and told Chen Jun that he had been in school, Chen Jun would Believe it to be true, but Lan Ye never lies.

Time passed while waiting. In the middle of the night, Chen Jun had to go home. The lights in the house were turned off, and Lan Ye did not come back.

Chen Jun didn't turn on the light either, but just sat on the sofa and stared blankly at the flying snow outside the window, his heart was empty, he recalled the first encounter with Lan Ye and so many things that happened after that, he felt numb all over his body .Why did Blue Night do this?Isn't he satisfied with such meticulous care?What exactly does he need? ...yet no answer.

Is it because I am too self-indulgent?He wondered if Lan Ye didn't care about this relationship at all, he was just deceived by Lan Ye's tears.But he also remembered that they made bookmarks for each other when they were not familiar with each other, Lan Ye clumsily made those unpalatable and heart-warming meals every time he came home late, and every time they got together, Lan Ye was so happy and full of joy. The seductive look... He couldn't draw a conclusion.

The snow outside the window stopped, and at 1:12 in the middle of the night, Chen Jun heard the sound of the door opening, Lan Ye wearily walked up to the porch and closed the door.He had already noticed that Chen Jun was sitting on the sofa without saying anything, under the unclear outline, his bright eyes were full of depression.He took off his shoes and coat and walked to the bedroom, Chen Jun rushed forward without even thinking, pressed Lan Ye against the corner of the wall and kissed him deeply, his tongue was violently scratching his mouth, as if reaffirming his ownership , he kissed every part of Lan Ye's face, including his tears and sweat, he licked the curve of his soft neck, took off his clothes and pants in the dark, stroked and kissed every inch of him Smooth and tender skin, caressing his body like a remedy after a deadlock, seems to be far-fetched to make him belong to him again.Lan Ye didn't resist, just kept crying silently, whispering in his mouth: "Ah Jun..." That night, Chen Jun put Lan Ye's hand on the wall and did it roughly once, he helped Lan Ye The moment he entered the toilet and turned on the wall lamp, he saw blue and red hickey marks and tooth marks on Lan Ye's completely naked skin. There was only the regular sound of water that gradually became numb.Perhaps because of the excessive impact, when cleaning his body, Lan Ye bleed a little between his buttocks, Chen Jun wiped it for him, and then some blood leaked out, Chen Jun stopped, and Lan Ye just frowned.Chen Jun asked: "Does it hurt? I'll try to be as light as possible." Lan Ye shook her head and said softly: "It's okay, it will be fine in two days."

Chen Jun's work is getting more and more busy, and Blent's appreciation and trust in him has caused his workload to increase. However, he is too embarrassed to shirk the tasks that Blent gives him. There are several times more people.Every day when I go home, I have to do a lot of planning, but Lan Ye's concealment has a fatal impact on his work attitude and work efficiency. Just thinking of Lan Ye, he sometimes even stays in a daze for more than an hour.

No matter how busy he is at work, Chen Jun will get up early every day to make breakfast for Lan Ye on time, then send Lan Ye to school, have dinner with him at noon, and pick him up at night. Chen Jun doesn't know what kind of motivation supports this He, because several times, he didn't wait for Lan Ye at the crossroads, and then he waited stubbornly until late at night, then lost, returned home in pain and waited until Lan Ye came home.

Chen Jun's sleep quality also began to deteriorate. At first, he was just nervously excited and unable to fall asleep at night for no reason. Later, it became more and more serious, and sometimes he even suffered from insomnia all night. He felt that Lan Ye was eroding his health like a drug. But he couldn't bear to let go.He began to doubt whether he had a tendency to be masochistic, but after thinking about it for a long time, he found that only Lan Ye could make him depressed and his thinking disordered.He knew that if this situation continued, he might fall ill or be unable to work normally. Whether it was for his physical condition or future development considerations, he had to get rid of this depressive life, but when he saw Lan Ye curled up quietly Lying beside him in deep sleep, the quiet and comfortable feeling made her cry unconsciously. No matter what Lan Ye did, he couldn't bear to leave him.

One morning, Chen Jun was called out from the office by Blend. Blend invited Chen Jun to have a cup of morning tea. On that day, Blend enthusiastically mentioned the matter of going abroad soon, and asked Chen Jun if he had considered it. He was about to prepare his documents.He also said that the working environment there was good, and he would contact the best designers in their company, and then told Chen Jun that changing the environment might make his mentality better, which touched Chen Jun.

This is indeed a very difficult opportunity to grasp, and you can also adjust your mentality, but what about Lan Ye? There was absolutely no way that Blent would take him out with him.Besides, Lan Ye didn't necessarily want to go, he didn't know if Lan Ye was sincere to him, and he didn't have the courage to ask... Then, he thought of Lan Ye coming home in the middle of the night... There was an unbearable pain in his heart.

Chen Jun went to pick up Lan Ye, and the days have shortened rapidly these days, and it was already dark when he arrived at school.Lan Ye came out of the school gate by bicycle, and Chen Jun saw him at a glance. He was so beautiful, so beautiful that there was no blemish in it. His light and bright eyes seemed to be shining, but the brilliance seemed to be filled with more Apparently worried, it seemed gloomy again.

Lan Ye rode up to Chen Jun, and Chen Jun helped him raise his collar as usual, and then the two rode home together, as if nothing had changed, but this seemingly regular life was between their hearts A transparent screen is cruelly inserted, no matter how intimate the touch is, they can't really touch each other. This screen divides them into different places of despair, and makes them walk into deeper and darker shadows.

On the way home, Chen Jun didn't know which tendon jumped up. It might be that what Blent said to him had caused some bad emotions to him. In other words, he said nonchalantly to Lan Ye: "If I give you this apartment, and give you enough money to go to school and pay for medical expenses, what will you do?"

Lan Ye turned around, his anxiety increased a bit and he even showed a look of fear. He opened his mouth, was stunned for a few seconds, and then asked unclearly: "Why are you asking this?"

Chen Jun staggered from Lan Ye's gaze, and couldn't bear it for a while, he whispered, "It's nothing, just ask." Lan Ye never looked away, until a jeep almost collided with him, he suddenly realized Come back to God.

Chen Jun exhaled and said, "Be careful."

Lan Ye nodded slightly, and then continued to ride forward.

At dinner, Lan Ye still ate very slowly, and after a few mouthfuls, she started to be in a daze. After a while, she seemed to think of something again, glanced at Chen Jun, and then continued to put things into her mouth, with a careless look.

Chen Jun asked: "Do you feel... bored?" He couldn't help clenching his fists when he said this, but he still suppressed his temper and asked as softly as possible.

"What's bothering you?" Lan Ye raised her head in a panic.

Chen Jun was silent for a while, and then took a deep breath. He wanted to tell Lan Ye his contradictory thoughts, "The CG industry generally has a better development prospect in Shenzhen or abroad, and it is less likely to meet excellent colleagues. This place is big, which means that there are many opportunities." He adjusted the speed of his speech, so that the words could at least make Lan Ye listen to it in a very stable manner.

"Are you going to work somewhere else?" Lan Ye asked sensitively, the chopsticks fell from his hands to the table inadvertently, and when he heard the sound, he took the chopsticks back into his hands as if he was taken aback.

Chen Jun didn't say anything, and continued to eat.

At night, Lan Ye was lying motionless with his back to Chen Jun. At first, Chen Jun thought that Lan Ye was really asleep, but later, he heard Lan Ye sobbing, and then he saw that Lan Ye couldn't control himself. Trembling, he hugged him instinctively, heartbroken.

The sky outside the window is full of stars, the moon hangs extraordinarily high, and the white porcelain moonlight shines directly on the bed, which is a bit dazzling.Lan Ye's sobbing gradually disappeared, he fell asleep crying, he hugged Lan Ye tighter, but tears rolled down again, obviously I did nothing wrong, it was he who did something so sorry to me, why would I reluctant?Why are you sad?