contradiction

?15-tomb [grave]

This is the sin of all innocents, screaming madly, falling, crying, like a wretched man deceived by the world, standing on the edge of a cliff, looking vaguely at the waves crashing on the rocks, fantasizing With endless pain and liberation, rebirth and happiness.

This will be a dream that will never come true, it exists in the spirit and destroys in reality.It is all salvation, but it can only be seen like a mirage, the more you chase it, the farther away it is, it hangs a mocking smile, mocking you who are in a mess.

This would be eternal life, real life piled up with real despair.

The recovery of memory gave Levi a lot of omens. The pool of blood was the first scene. The moment the boy died on that platform, he was doomed for the rest of his broken life. It was so simple and straightforward, but no one would Know how to escape.At that moment, time stopped suddenly, and there was a blank phantom around him. Alan's words that could not have been heard came through the crowd. He was more painful than death.

He actually regarded all this as an illusion and left it behind.

Levi raised his head and looked at the sky that would suddenly flash with lightning and then return to darkness, the rain kept dripping like tears that he should have shed, hitting his eyes and sliding down the corners of his eyes.But he himself couldn't shed tears at all, he just felt pain and despair, the dull pain in his heart made him feel that he didn't even need to breathe. He couldn't make a sound, the suffocation made his mind confused, and the memories of the past popped up randomly to draw the same knife on his wound. He was desperate and painful, and he didn't know how to get redemption.

He can only pace the night like a ghost, he has no destination, he doesn't know where to find the child he left behind.

But he had to go, he was going to find him, to save him, because he had left that child in endless pain in the past years, and none of their agreements had been fulfilled, and he hadn't even come in time say love him.

Their future has yet to be realized.

That illusory, blue sea that doesn't even know if it really exists, the sun's rays that burn the skin, the first light that pierces the darkness, the wooden hut they built by the sea, where did they pick it up? The white dog wagging its tail at them, the walk after dinner, the colors of the starry sky we saw together, the eternal freedom and happiness.

Levi walked forward, not taking a look at the graves around him, the places where heroes who died in battle were buried, the beautiful wreaths that were admired after death and the glory that was forever remembered by the world.

His Alan is also a hero, a hero that no one will pay homage to, spurned and slandered by the world, his most cherished thing, everything about his future.He had no way to find his boy on the land where all the corpses were buried. Maybe the boy's body was randomly discarded in the garbage dump, eaten by rats and insects. He was rotting and covered in flies. No one could recognize him, even if he walked over, he would not find it. Maybe he was burnt to nothing but ashes, and he would never be able to put them together into a complete shape in his life, or was thrown into the sky. In a dead lake, sinking at the dark bottom to feed the fish, he would row his boat over it and never know that his boy was sleeping forever underneath.

But Lewell has to look for it. This is his future. He wants to find Alan and listen to the boy complaining to him about his pain in the past five years. Alan may not be willing to forgive him, but he will keep apologizing and will Slowly learn to make the boy happy, and one day, Allen will forgive him with a smile, talk to him again, call him by name, and say he loves him.

This is his unshirkable responsibility and his own sweet distress.He still needs to spend the countless hours left to accompany him, watching Alan grow up little by little, and he will celebrate his adult birthday. He can make a cake with his own hands. Children always like sweets, but they may not be able to make them. That's great, but he still has a lot of time to practice.

He'd be the first to wish Ellen a happy birthday, and get a happy smile from the teenager in the orange glow of the candle in return.

Then he might prepare a wedding, no need to propose, he believed that the boy would agree.He will find a church that is also built by the sea, without priests and audience, just the two of them.Swearing, exchanging rings, kissing.

Listening to the sound of the waves in the sun, every day from then on was just the two of them.

Maybe two years from now they'll be a little lonely for two, and they can go and adopt a kid who will have black hair like his and golden eyes like Ellen's.The child may be naughty, but they will definitely teach him well and make him a good adult.

Many years later they would prepare the wedding for that child, in the same church, and he and Alan sat in the back watching the wedding of two young people, as if they were looking at themselves in the past, and then they would look at each other and smile, Both feel happy.

The child will leave after the wedding, and the wooden house will be the world of the two of them again. Alan may have developed new interests over the years, flowers and plants, or something else, and they will always be together, always They are all gray-haired.

Finally, they lie on the bed, waiting for the arrival of death together.

Then after the second when the breath stops, they can continue to love each other in another world.

[On July 856, 7, four days after Alan Yeager’s execution, Levi Ackerman, the former captain of the Survey Corps, was found unconscious in the cemetery of the Corps. According to the resident military doctor, this situation has happened many times It was suspected that it was the aftereffect of the head injury five years ago. Three days later, the treatment of the soldier commander was taken over by Hanji Zoye who returned to the station. 】